Primordial Village (4)
Primordial Village. The hunting grounds of the Starting Village—its official name—looked nothing like what I'd imagined. I'd pictured ochre dirt paths lined with grass and familiar monsters like goblins. Instead, we arrived at some bizarre dojo.
I read the signboard hanging over a place that looked like it had walked straight out of a comic.
Beginner Hunting Ground
"This is a hunting ground? Not a training hall?"
It looked like the kind of place where tough guys would be sweating through workouts, or ninja-types might pop out of the woodwork.
"What are you talking about? It's obviously a hunting ground."
"Now I'm curious what hunting grounds look like in the Mad Demon's homeland. Does your world not even have dungeons?"
"No—where would dungeons even exist in the real world? Right, Lady Sophia?"
"Mm-hmm."
"Uheungheung. To think I lost to a human who doesn't even know what a dungeon is. Uheungheungheung."
"You. Shut it."
Whack.
"Guek."
A clear, pure note rang out from the dwarf's skull. That hand-feel was way too addictive.
"Anyway, so this is a dungeon, right?"
"No. It's a hunting ground, I told you."
"Then what the hell is a hunting ground?"
"It's a space where minions can hone their combat skills and earn divinity. You'll understand once we go in. Come on."
A bald monk sat in the exact center of the Beginner Hunting Ground. Kneeling on a cushion with a cup of tea, he looked every bit the lofty high priest.
The monk, still savoring the tea's fragrance, spotted us and shot to his feet.
"Here to use the hunting ground?"
"Why do you talk like that?"
The image and the voice did not match at all. The monk clicked his tongue.
"No complaints. No peddlers. No problem customers. If you're not hunting, get out."
"Haha. Yohan, really. We're here to use the hunting ground."
The monk slipped on a single-lens eyepiece that looked exactly like a scouter.
"Ah, the new trainer—Lady Sophia."
"Is that a scouter? They really do everything around here."
"The doors of our hunting ground are always open. When you enter, simply shout 'I believe in Lord Yeo Dong-bin!' nice and loud."
"This is making me dizzy. Seriously."
"I believe in Lord Yeo Dong-bin!"
The moment the monk's expression turned ugly, Sophia hastily yelled it out. In an instant, Sophia, me, Cheonsol, and Kim Dwarf were all teleported into an empty training yard.
"What was that just now?"
"Every hunting ground is run by Lord Yeo Dong-bin—the famous war god. That monk is one of his minions."
"He sends his minions to a place like this?"
"High gods keep hundreds of minions. The ones who don't make the entry roster do odd jobs in exchange for training opportunities. Once the hunting ground closes for the day, that monk will be out here grinding hard."
"So what does Yeo Dong-bin get out of it, besides growing his minions?"
"Well, a goddess just shouted that she believes in Lord Yeo Dong-bin, so divinity flows in. And a war god gains divinity not only from worshippers, but from every battle that takes place in his territory. Win-win."
"I see."
Basically the same as a megacorp farming out work to small subcontractors. Anyway—time to hunt. After a short wait, a pack of monsters made of straw appeared.
"Those aren't real monsters, right?"
"Correct. They're Scarecrow Mons."
"They really phoned in the naming, huh."
They looked shabby, but the real thing could still be strong, so better stay careful. For now, I'd watch Kim Dwarf and Cheonsol fight and get a read on their combat power.
Thwack-thwack.
"Hiyaah!"
Thwack-thwack.
"Truly pitiful. I have heard scarecrows were made to drive off birds. Should any harmful bird appear, these would be swept away in a single stroke."
The Scarecrow Mons' combat power was genuinely pathetic. With only a slight exaggeration, even a child from Earth could beat them.
"Lady Sophia. Do you actually get divinity for knocking these things down?"
"What nonsense! Even if the enemy is weak, endless repetition raises skill proficiency!"
"What's your skill, then?"
"Durability!"
Ah. So that's why the hand-feel was so good.
"Then we shouldn't knock the scarecrows down. I'll raise your skill proficiency for you."
"Stop—do not approach! Holy Master! The mad human is trying to hit me again!"
Kim Dwarf dove behind Cheonsol. Sophia, who had been wearing a benevolent smile, cracked him over the head.
Whaaack—
"Kyaaaargh!"
"Ah, my apologies. You tried to lay hands on my person, so my fist moved first. I would prefer you restrain yourself going forward."
"I'm sorry..."
"More to the point, these scarecrows are truly useless. They draw no blood, so they are of no use for raising my skills either. Mad Demon. What of you?"
"Same here."
Impregnating was a skill with no proficiency system, and Self-Healing grew through my bond with Sophia—so no matter how many scarecrows I took down, it wouldn't help.
"How's the divinity farming?"
"One point per kill. A hundred of them would buy a single Ambrosia bread."
"Waaagh! Waaagh!"
Sophia shrieked desperately, but she couldn't stop Cheonsol's words. Crushed, she turned to me.
"Haha. Yohan. You didn't hear that, right?"
"Hear what? Ambrosia bread is..."
"Yaaaaaaargh!!"
Sophia let out a full-throated scream. Was she embarrassed that the bread we'd eaten for breakfast only cost a hundred divinity? I was fine eating cheap food.
As long as Sophia's chest was there, anyway. Time to play the wounded minion.
"I'm disappointed, Lady Sophia. That breakfast you ordered so confidently was only worth a hundred divinity? Was that all I was worth to you? Was I just a minion who only rated that much?"
"Uh— Yohan. No. Do you know how precious you are..."
Sophia flailed her arms in helpless panic, and it was adorable. The chest that swung along with those arms was a weapon of mass destruction.
"The mad human is doing mad things again."
"A man worthy of the moniker Mad Demon. Lady Sophia is rather naive as well—falling for such transparent acting."
I'd worried Sophia might overhear, but our flustered goddess only had eyes for me.
"Hey, Yohan. Are you mad? I'm sorry. Don't be mad."
Was this my chance?
"Then let me touch your chest."
"Ah, seriously! Just say it straight, Yohan! You're not mad, are you? That was acting, right? I worried for nothing!"
Sophia got angry. So that didn't work. Next time I'd drag it out longer before going for the chest.
"You're right. Anything from Lady Sophia is good enough for me."
"Yohan..."
Sophia teared up, moved. Was this the follow-up?
"So I'm touching your chest."
"Die!"
I took a knuckle to the head. It actually hurt a bit. Sophia was wonderful in every way except for being far too violent. Back on Earth, articles about "battered husbands" would pop up now and then—I had to wonder if wives like Sophia were the ones doing the battering.
Once that little episode passed, we knocked down a few more scarecrows. I got bored around ten, but Cheonsol and Kim Dwarf—whose livelihoods were on the line—each took down two hundred before they stopped.
With respawn times factored in, it took a full ten minutes. Converted to hourly wage, that was about twenty-four hundred won an hour. Painfully inefficient hunting.
"Aren't there higher-level monsters?"
"Those require a separate entry fee. This is the only free hunting ground."
I wanted to try a more expensive hunting ground. Kim Dwarf was giving me expectant looks. These two probably didn't want to grind for pocket change either.
"Kyaagh! Why are you hitting me!"
"A man shouldn't look at people like that."
"Hwaaagh!"
Still, putting Cheonsol in my debt seemed like a good idea. Our poor Lady Sophia couldn't buy her right now, but if I worked hard crafting items and made some money, who knew?
"Lady Sophia. How does minion trading work on the Market?"
"First you register a minion on the Market, and there's about a week of review. They check that the appraisal wasn't wrong, and if the price is judged fair it goes up at that price—otherwise they make you revise it."
"Is there any way to buy without paying divinity?"
"Hmm. Completely free isn't possible, but if a minion wants to go to a particular god you can get a discount, and you can also borrow money from the Market or buy on installment."
"What about private deals?"
"The one who runs the Market banned them—said something about not digging dirt for a living. Every transaction has to go through the Market so they can take their cut."
When a god who'd built a pan-cosmic system was running the Market, even that kind of overreach was apparently possible. On Earth, they'd have been hauled in for antitrust violations in a heartbeat.
"On the other hand, minions also have the right of refusal. That clause exists because of evil gods who buy cheap minions just to use them as experimental fodder."
"Even better, then."
I'd put Cheonsol in my debt. Not that I had any ulterior motives—she was just pretty, and her chest and areolae were pretty too. Of all the minions I'd seen walking around the village, none were prettier than Cheonsol.
Female life-forms who could stand next to Sophia and not lose their looks were rare. Of everyone I'd seen so far, only Dohoyo, Evrande, and Cheonsol could rival her.
I found myself freshly glad I'd impregnated Evrande. An elf's pussy—something I'd only ever encountered in fiction—lived up to the reputation and then some.
"Then Cheonsol and I could..."
"That will not be necessary. I accept the sentiment alone."
I'd been about to bring up re-entering a higher hunting ground, but Cheonsol jumped ahead of me with her own assumption.
"Lady Sophia. I am deeply grateful for all the help you have given me thus far. However, entry to the higher hunting grounds is something I wish to accomplish by my own power. Though Lord Absolu abandoned me, I am still a cult leader."
"Cheonsol... she's really admirable, isn't she?"
Kim Dwarf, with zero social awareness, barged into the women's warm little moment.
"I want it! If you purchase me, I will repay you with my life!"
"Kim Dwarf...! I took you in as a disciple and trusted you. Would you betray the faith?"
"Holy Master, you don't even call me by my name—you use the mad human's nickname!"
"What?!"
Cheonsol looked genuinely shocked. A big KWA-BOOM sound effect would have fit perfectly. Kim Dwarf was pleased with himself for winning the argument—but it was too early to celebrate.
"I don't need you."
"Excuse me? Is it because I talked back? Mad human—no, wait. I-I'll be good to Senior Yohan too!"
"What am I supposed to do with a dwarf who can't even make items? I'm way better at blacksmithing anyway."
"..."
Kim Dwarf clenched his fists.
"I can't believe it! No matter how much I fall short of my kin, I am still a dwarf! A human making better weapons than me?!"
"Not just weapons—I'd outdo you at every other kind of craftwork too."
You have no hand skills. I do.
"You're lying just to get rid of me!"
"This insolent little shit is talking down to me again."
"Guek."
As always, the rod was the cure for dwarves. But this bastard didn't lose his spirit even while getting hit.
"No matter how much you assault me, the truth doesn't change!"
"There is always only one truth!"
"As expected of the Mad Demon. Spouting madness without even pausing for breath."
Had this dwarf and this vampire spent their whole lives being lied to? They wouldn't believe a word.
"If I show you, will you believe me?"
"Go on, then!"
"Lady Sophia. Does Primordial Village have a blacksmith?"
"It's the Starting Village, Yohan..."
"Whoa! Look at that! It's Primordial Village!"
"Enough! I can't live like this because of you, Yohan. Fine. Let's go to the blacksmith. Happy?"
That's my goddess. We headed for the forge.
"Ah, right. Almost forgot. Monk. I have a parting gift for you."
"Oh? What is it?"
"A scrap of cloth to bring light to that bald head of yours."
I pressed a tattered rag—a byproduct from the Scarecrow Mons—into his hands. Wow. He wasn't even an octopus, and the color was already changing.
"Lady Sophia! Run! Into the corner!"
"Yohan! Yohan!"