The Primordial Village (1)
Boys go crazy for combat sports. Grown men, too. Boxing ruled the twentieth century, UFC the twenty-first, and even after virtual-reality games arrived, real-world fighting never lost its grip.
Fight fans always said the same thing: games look flashy, but they don't have that raw intensity. I never bought it. Ranked ladder wars are brutal as hell. That's just what noobs who don't game say.
Once virtual reality started simulating not just blood but pain, a chunk of those hardcore real-fight junkies even started watching VR leagues — and my opinion only hardened.
But now I get it. Real combat is intense.
"Come on! This is a man's fight!"
"Hnnngh…"
My opponent's face slammed into my fist. Pain bloomed through my knuckles as blood and sweat ran down them.
"Kh. You bastard! You didn't master the Iron Sand Palm — you mastered the Iron Face Palm! What the hell did you eat to make that mug so hard?!"
"Hnnn…"
"Is it a dwarf racial trait?"
"Ghk…"
Dwarves are a real-man's race. Even strapped into sturdy plate and hauling a massive battle-axe, this one still met me in a bare-knuckle brawl.
The real-man dwarf tried to crack my fist open with a headbutt. I twisted the angle so I wouldn't wreck my hand — and he countered with that rock-solid nose of his.
"Gyaaah!"
"You're a real man! I respect you!"
"Y-you're insane…"
This time he went for my fist with his teeth, so I fed him a knuckle sandwich. Must've tasted great — he was bawling his eyes out.
"Customer! Five stars, please!"
"Urrrgh…"
"No way! Now you're trying to choke my arm out with your neck?! I acknowledge you! You're a true man! As a token of my admiration, I'll show you my finishing move! Ora ora ora ora!"
"Eeeek…"
On the opposite coaching bench, the goddess crumpled to the floor.
"You! Newbie Trainer Kim Goddess!"
"Yohan… her name is Breckzit…"
"Kim Goddess! Your minion Kim Dwarf is a real man! I'm jealous of you! Having a real man like that as your minion!"
"Eek!!"
"Yohan…"
"J-just kill me…"
"What?! Kim Dwarf! Why would I kill you?! We're buddies!"
Boys become friends by fighting. Friendship forged by fists. What a beautiful ring that has to it.
Newbie Trainer — Sophia Wins!
I'd wanted to enjoy it a little longer, but the dwarf's stamina finally gave out. The opposing goddess left without so much as a goodbye.
"Lady Sophia. Just as you ordered — I won without using Impregnating."
"Yohan… haah. No, you really did great."
"Hearing your praise feels amazing!"
Sophia sighed and pressed a hand to her forehead. Getting this much praise was almost embarrassing. I pointed at the screen floating in front of her.
"That's already five wins in a row! When do we get to peel off the newbie sticker?"
"Doesn't matter how many wins you have. A full month has to pass."
"Promotions based on seniority? What a dinosaur of a company."
In the twenty-second century's meritocracy, you only advanced if you were good at your job. The world of the gods was inefficient as hell.
"Do older gods tend to be stronger?"
"Most of the time? Live long enough and your name spreads. More followers means more divinity flowing in."
So in the divine world, seniority basically equaled skill. That tracked.
"Huh? The five-win streak reward just came in!"
"Really?"
"Yeah! Look at this!"
Sophia beamed as she held out a copper chest. Our goddess looked so pretty when she smiled. She was pretty normally, but smiling made her even prettier. I wanted to have sex with her.
"Yohan?"
Sophia called my name in an uneasy tone. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
"Lady Sophia. We hit a five-win streak. Don't I get a reward?"
"U-uhh? What kind of reward?"
"It was a five-win streak. Hard to pull off, right? That's why the reward dropped."
"Well, that's true, but…"
"Don't you trust your minion? I'll just hold your hand."
"Fine…"
Blushing, Sophia held out her hand. Ah — that healing feeling. She was fine with hugs, yet the moment it was just holding hands she started trembling.
"Cute."
"Hyt?!"
"Wonder what's in the chest? Let's open it together."
"Mm. Hurry up and open it!"
The instant Sophia grabbed the chest, I layered my hand over hers. Her face went scarlet and she ducked her head.
"Lady Sophia? Are you feeling sick? There's no strength in your hand."
"It's weirdly hot…"
"Can gods catch colds? Let me check your temperature."
I brushed her bangs aside and pressed my forehead to hers. While I felt her body heat through my brow, I drank in the sight of her face — eyes squeezed tightly shut.
Adorable. Her eyelids were fluttering.
"That's enough!"
Sophia yanked her hand free and fled. I'd call that enough for today. Time to open the treasure chest.
Open the Bronze-grade Treasure Chest?
Items ranging from Common to Rare grade may be obtained.
"Open!!"
Light burst from the treasure chest, and a roulette wheel started spinning. Common at ninety percent, Rare at ten?
"Spin spin roulette wheel! You can do it!"
"Yohan, you really do the weirdest things."
"Spin-spin-spin wheel!"
I could craft Common-grade stuff myself, so please be Rare. Please be Rare!
"Wh-whoa??"
As the wheel gradually slowed, Sophia got excited and shouted too. I darted to her side and yelled in the exact same pose.
"Roulette wheel! Hang in there! Go Rare item!"
"G-go!"
"Lady Sophia! Louder! That's how the roulette wheel finds its strength!"
"Go!!"
Bolstered by our cheers, the roulette wheel worked overtime. The needle looked ready to stop on Common — then it wobbled and tipped over into Rare.
"Yeeeaaahhh!!"
"Kyaaaah!!"
The second the Rare item locked in, I pulled Sophia into a hug. When our goddess got excited, her embarrassment vanished. Holding hands was nice, but her chest was still the best.
"H-ahem. Yohan?"
"Shall we check the item?"
"Yeah…"
A ring for weak minions. Eases the handling of mana and accelerates growth.
Growth CorrectionLv.3
Mana CorrectionLv.3
So Rare grade came with two options and Level 3 corrections.
"Yohan! This is huge!"
"Is it good?"
"Yeah yeah! I have to post about this on the board!"
Sophia excitedly worked the screen. But hadn't she been banned for a week?
"Miss StrongestNewbie. When did you change your nick to SexyNewbie?"
"Ah, aaah. This is a side account…"
"And when exactly did you make a side account."
"It's actually Dohoyo's. Gods can only make one account, but Dohoyo has a huge family, so she's got a bunch of unused ones."
"Ahh."
One person, one account — important principle. Some twenty-second-century site admins could stand to learn from that.
While we talked, Sophia put up a post.
Got this from a newbie chest — is it any good?
[Photo: Enhanced Bronze Ring]
I was hoping for a weapon, but it's a ring. Better than nothing, so I guess I'll just use it.
"Heh heh! A Rare-grade bastard sword is trash — why would I trade?"
"Lady Sophia."
"Ah."
Caught mid-excited reply, Sophia glanced at my face.
"U-uhh. Yohan. You know how it is."
"It's fine. They say a minion takes after their master, right?"
"That saying does exist, but… Yohan? You didn't take after me. You were already kind of…"
"Awesome?"
"Insane."
She hit me with that straight on. I was hurt.
"Anyway, Yohan. Aren't you tired from fighting so much?"
"Not at all."
I'd been exhausted when I had to let Cheonsol go without claiming her — but every match after that had been against trainers with only one minion, and their level was so low that stomping them didn't tire me out one bit.
"Th-then how about this. If you're tired, let's go rest in the newbie village. Thanks to you we've made a ton of money, so I'll buy you something delicious!"
"I was getting a little hungry."
What would a gods' village even have? I was curious.
"Then let's go to the village!"
"How do we get there?"
"You just press a button!!"
Sophia worked the screen, and a message appeared.
Travel to the Starting Village?
"Let's go! To the Primordial Village!"
"It's not the Primordial Village! It's the Starting Village!"
"Same difference. Hurry up!"
"Fine."
"Whoooosh!"
"Yohan. Shh!"
I'd been expressing my awe, and Sophia jabbed me hard in the side. Ah — there were other gods around.
I'd expected them all to look like Sophia, but the species variety was wild. Elves and dwarves, sure — and tentacles wandering around too.
Some gods walked alone, but plenty brought their minions along. The minions were just as diverse. Everything except humans, basically.
"Amazing, right?"
"Yeah."
"Heh heh. Let's go eat!"
Sophia grabbed my hand firmly and hummed as she led me toward a restaurant. She usually got embarrassed holding hands, but this time she was proactive.
"Oh? There's a Demeter Newbie Branch over there. Want to go?"
"Uh… we finally came out, so let's skip the delivery places and go somewhere else. Okay?"
"Don't you like that franchise, Lady Sophia?"
"Ah, y-yeah. I do, but… today let's go somewhere different!"
Why was she blocking it so desperately? Had she ordered delivery so much she'd gotten sick of it? Come to think of it, whenever I went out I also tried to eat something new instead of the same delivery food.
Suddenly it all made sense.
"Alright. Looking forward to Lady Sophia's recommended restaurant."
"You can look forward to it!"
We wandered the streets together, and I thought I spotted someone familiar.
"Yohan? What's wrong?"
"No. Must've been my imagination."
This was the world of the gods — what were the odds I'd know anyone here? Better just get food already.