Please Don't Touch Me! Yohan! (5)
Sophia had beaten the combined odds — a full five percent chance — and come out the other side.
I was fine. My body carried Diamond Body, the upgraded form of Iron Man. Sophia, though, had gone and done an all-nighter for her first time, and she was so thoroughly wrecked that we couldn't spin the pregnancy gacha again.
A bright, vigorous morning. I lay in bed looking down at Sophia's face as she slept, breathing soft and even.
"You're seriously pretty."
Her eyes were puffy from all the sobbing last night, and her face was a little swollen — and she was still beautiful.
A goddess, through and through. I still couldn't believe Sophia was the Goddess of Healing. Goddess of Beauty, or Goddess of Motherhood — either one would have fit her better.
I brushed the hair stuck to her cheek, then couldn't hold back the impulse and kissed her.
For someone who'd poured out that much sweat and tears, she didn't taste salty at all. It was like licking a peach drink that fell just short of perfect. I got so lost in how adorable she was that I kept kissing her for a good long while — until my eyes landed on her slightly parted lips.
Earth's adult comics have a wonderful genre called sleep-play. What would happen if I slipped my cock between a sleeping goddess's lips?
I was lining myself up when Sophia opened her eyes.
"Stop."
"How long have you been awake?"
"…Since 'you're seriously pretty.'"
Thank god. If she hadn't heard that, I'd have been a criminal caught in the act. Since she had, I was just a boyfriend who couldn't resist his girl's cuteness and tried for a sleep blowjob. I gave my hips a triumphant little bounce, and Sophia shoved my cock away.
"I already did it yesterday… my jaw hurts…"
Midway through the night, I'd used being tired as an excuse and gotten her to give me a blowjob. After coming three or four times already, the finish just wouldn't climb, and Sophia had suffered for it.
"Shame."
I put myself away, and Sophia broke into a bashful little smile.
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing. Just… wondering if this is what it feels like."
"What 'this' feels like?"
Sophia didn't answer. She glanced sideways at the wall.
The soundproofing was perfect — nothing should have carried. She was fretting over nothing.
"What is it? Tell me."
"Heehee! Ah! Don't! That tickles!"
I tickled her side gently, and Sophia twisted and writhed.
"Tell me. Come on, tell me."
"Heeheehee. Hihh. Ahahaha. Seriouslyyy. St-stop it."
Once it felt like enough, I quit tickling her, and Sophia panted for breath.
"Just… because I'm happy."
"Happy that the first thing you saw when you opened your eyes was my dick."
That's our goddess for you! Even more lewd than Cheonsol. For all I knew, that chest of hers held not only divinity but pure filth as well.
"Nooo! I meant I was happy that Yohan was next to me when I woke up!"
"You could've just said that from the start."
I still didn't scrap the hypothesis that Sophia's chest was packed with lewdness. Divinity alone couldn't explain a size like that.
"Anyway, I need to wash up, so get out."
"You said you like having me next to you, and now you're kicking me out?"
"If you stay, you're just going to keep begging for sex. And shouldn't you be thinking about Cheonsol too? Ever since she became our minion she's been sleeping with us every night, and last night she was alone. She might be lonely."
Hypothesis, discarded on the spot. Clearly our goddess's chest was made of divinity and compassion.
"Alright."
"Ugh. My back hurts, my legs are shaking, and I have no strength left. I'm resting today, so even if you don't see me, don't come looking."
"Get some good rest."
I gave her a goodbye kiss and left Sophia's room.
The moment I stepped out, I found Na-a with her tail dipped in the stream.
"Hello~? Nice mooorning, isn't it~?"
"Sure iis."
"Whaat. Why so cooold."
"Just happy to see you."
"Mee too."
Na-a smiled with pure innocence and flicked her tail. Water droplets hit my face.
"Hahi huhu euh."
"Having fun?"
"Sooo fuuun."
Na-a's mental age was on the same level as Lan-lan-i's. I ignored her and went into the room.
A chill.
The cold hit me the second I walked in. A vampire was already cold by nature, and Cheonsol was radiating frost like a sheet of ice.
"So you've returned."
"Yeah. I'm back."
"Come. Sit."
Cheonsol patted the sofa I'd worked so hard to make. It was a common-grade item that granted Level 1 comfort every time you sat on it — and right now it felt like a bed of nails.
"Let us talk a while. What did you say to this lady yesterday before you left?"
"That I'd give Lady Sophia a massage…"
I hadn't even done anything wrong — so why was I acting like this? I wanted to answer with some backbone, but Cheonsol's face was terrifying.
I finally understood why the husbands in dramas always end up whipped. With this kind of pressure, of course you can't hold your ground.
"Indeed. Mad Demon left yesterday saying he would give the Master a massage. And yet he did not return to this room."
"Once I started massaging…"
"Enough."
Cheonsol let out a long sigh.
"This lady knew a day like this would come eventually — but it arrived far too soon. Do you know what this lady did last night?"
The atmosphere said nothing I could say would help. I chose silence.
"Haa… This lady waited, wondering when Mad Demon would come back. She stayed up the whole night with open eyes, checked on the children's rooms for no reason, dragged Evni — who was overworking herself in the workshop — off to bed, and even checked the stream in case you were with Na-a."
"Mmm."
She'd had a rough night.
"Mad Demon has not only this lady, but Evrande and Cha-cha as well. So this lady is fine. You could have at least said something."
Cheonsol visibly wilted. A clumsy attempt at comfort would only make things worse, so I just apologized.
"I'm sorry."
"Yes. That is what this lady wished to hear."
Cheonsol pulled me into a hug. Hard enough that even Diamond Body felt the strain — as if she meant to show me just how strong a Level 2 minion's muscles could be.
"Mad Demon. Has this lady's child increased, by chance?"
"Not that."
"How unusual, that you did not use that skill."
I didn't tell her I had used it and failed. No point picking at a scab.
"Mad Demon is truly warm. This lady seems to have become rather dependent. Without this warmth, she cannot sleep."
"Can't have you not sleeping."
I stroked Cheonsol's back and kissed her. I'd heard that kisses and food were the most effective ways to soothe an angry woman — and sure enough, the frost that had been whipping around the room settled and faded.
The door burst open.
"Mom! Dad! Look at th— oh. You two are getting along well again today."
Lulu came charging out of the workshop, laughed for no reason, and started backing away. Cheonsol broke the kiss and beckoned to her.
"It is fine. Come here. It seems you have received a gift?"
"Yes! Big sister made me a necklace!"
"How diligen—"
"Big sister! Thank you so much!"
Lulu barreled into Evni like a giant dog and knocked her flat. Evni, who had just been forced onto her rear, scrunched up her face.
"Oww…"
"I'm sorry! But thank you! Big sister is the best!"
"What?!"
Lan-lan-i, who had wandered in scratching her stomach, jumped so hard her hair nearly brushed the ceiling.
"You always said Lan-lan-i was the best!"
"Of course big-big sister is the best too. But Evni-unnie made me such a pretty necklace!"
"Lan-lan…"
"Lan-lan-i has an item too? Evni really is the best!"
Lan-lan-i joined in on the Evni-flattening. Surrounded by her older and younger sisters, Evni flailed her arms and legs.
"Let go…"
"Huhu. Are the children not truly adorable?"
"They are."
Sex and my daughters — those are the two things that keep my life running. I watched them fondly until my eyes met my eldest's.
"Hmph!"
Lan-lan-i snorted and whipped her head away.
Devastating. Aside from when she'd first hit puberty, sweet Lan-lan-i had never ignored her dad!
"That is what comes of staying out overnight without a word. From now on, speak before you go."
"Got it…"
"You look rather deflated."
Smack.
Cheonsol gave me a playful kiss, then patted my butt.
"It will sort itself out soon enough. Take heart."
"Yeah. Gotta pull myself together and get to work."
The dwarf workshop wasn't a one-day gig.
"Ah — I need to run raids too, but Lady Sophia said she's tired and not to look for her today."
"Tired… I see. Still, she will likely come out at night. When she does, this lady will contact you. Go and do well."
"Alright."
I stood up from the sofa, and Evni came trotting over.
"Me too…"
"Evni, you stayed up all night in the workshop making presents for your little sister and big sister, didn't you?"
"No…"
"Mom got you to bed early so you're fine? Then want to come with me?"
"Yeah…!"
I took an excited Evni outside — then knocked on Sophia's door.
"…I said I'm resting?"
"I need to go to work, so open a passage for me."
"Ah. Right. I forgot. I granted you the permission, so go ahead."
So I had the authority to go to Head Village whenever I wanted. I'd been a minion for a long time and I was still discovering features I didn't know about.
"Alright, I'm off."
"Human craftsman friend! And our half-elf apprentice! Good work again today!"
After finishing the hard labor and clocking out, the head craftsman came over and patted my knees. Apparently bringing a chair over had been too much trouble.
"Busy day, wasn't it?"
"Insanely busy."
"It's day four of the raid! Results are better than at the start, so materials are pouring in, and a bunch of trainers hit the threshold to place commissions — of course it's a lot! Anyway, you worked hard today, so take this!"
The head craftsman held out a golden can.
"What's this?"
"Nectar! Outstanding for fatigue recovery — and expensive as hell!"
"I'll enjoy it."
"Our half-elf apprentice should drink plenty too!"
I'd only gotten one can of nectar, but he loaded Evni's arms with a whole pile of them. Judging by the dwarves watching with anxious faces, this wasn't a gift from the head craftsman alone.
"Thank…"
"No thanks needed! We're the ones who should be thanking you! Keep being adorable from now on!"
"Yes…"
Evni toddled along and dropped a can. She crouched to pick it up, dropped another one, then looked up at me with eyes that seemed to ask, What do I do?
"Let's split them with Dad."
"Yeah…!"
The moment I stepped out of the workshop with a delighted Evni, I spotted Evrande sitting on the bench across the way.