I Shall Not Drink of It Again (7)

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"Good work on the stream today, Miss Ninomae."

A woman came pattering over and tucked herself snugly into the embrace. Han Seoyeon drew her fingertips lightly down the back of that hair and smiled, thin and faint. Told she had worked hard again today, the woman nuzzled, rubbing the face buried against her chest softly from side to side.

"Whoa. These two are seriously putting the affection on display now."

"Ahaha... well, kids these days are a little open-minded, aren't they."

"You worked hard as well, Miss Yuri. And you, Miss Bansei."

At the voice grumbling in the shape of a joke, Han Seoyeon turned her gaze. Hyakurenno Yuri and Bansei Marin, who had been on stream with Ninomae until just a moment ago, were standing right there.

"And the others?"

"Miss Tsunashi and Miss Senjoji are getting a ride from their manager later."

She had asked because a few of the second-generation members had never come out to the parking lot, and that was the answer that came back. Right — those two didn't have cars of their own. Han Seoyeon nodded.

"Well then... we'll be heading off. See you tomorrow, everyone."

"You get home safely too, Ninomae dear."

Leaving her goodbyes with the two of them — no, three, counting the honey-blonde maid who had been too dazed to join the conversation — Ninomae climbed into the car.

As she buckled her belt, Seoyeon came around and took the driver's seat as well. The booming engine of the big truck struck at her ears. Feeling the seat's vibration drum against her back and her hips, Ninomae stretched with a soft groan.

"Are you very tired?"

"No. I'm all right. I have magic, and I've gone and become a vampire now, too."

At Han Seoyeon's question, Ninomae shook her head. It had been a stream that used the body quite a lot, but Ninomae now possessed a body for which even that much was no burden at all.

"It just feels strongly like I've cleared one hurdle. ...There's a bigger one left, though."

A wry smile followed.

Today, too, had been a production of considerable scale — a five-person collab — but an even larger event was waiting two days out. A massive concert, a full call-up that included the first generation. Given that the sun had already gone down, less than forty-eight hours remained. The talk of meeting tomorrow, exchanged as they parted just now, had been because of that. Surely they would need at least one rehearsal the day before a concert.

"Are you nervous?"

"How could I not be. Even so, it's something I'm doing because I love it."

It was not her first live concert. That did not mean she could possibly fail to be nervous. Most likely, no matter how many lives she stacked up from here, this much would not change. But in the end, being a VTuber was something you did because you loved it — and among the countless VTuber MCNs, the one who had chosen Anathema Production, the agency that billed itself as idols, had been Ninomae Hitomi herself.

"I see."

"Yes. That's how it is."

While they talked, the truck had already left the company grounds and pulled onto the road. Down the street washed in streetlight, that ponderous mass ran on. It was not a fast speed. Nine in the evening, in the heart of the city, was still an hour with life in it.

And then, all at once, as if they had planned it between them, both their words cut off. Caught at a light just then, even the truck's drivetrain noise weakened a little. For a while, rattling white noise alone filled the cabin.

A glance. One hand on the wheel, Han Seoyeon turned only her eyes toward Ninomae.

Streetlight leaked in past ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠the window, and still it was a little dim; within it, the face of the woman whose gaze was fixed somewhere far off caught and held her eyes. It was a face that suited what people call a cute look. And yet, in the profile before her now, a feminine beauty showed through just as well. She had fallen for her long ago already, but it was a beauty that made her, all over again, newly aware of the feeling.

That the memory passing through her in this moment should smell of acrid gunpowder was probably no mere coincidence. What crossed her mind was the clash she had traded today with a servant of the Hyakurenno house — not only the clash of guns and sorcery, but the clash of tongue and language, too.

A legendary onmyoji who bore the epithet of one of the Three Great Evil Oni. Even if, as of the present, not one of them belonged to the Onmyoryo, they were still persons of interest that a holy knight dispatched to Japan was obliged to have a grasp of. Naturally, she had had no choice but to read up on Momomomo Chisa as well, if only in the files — including the past in which she had lost a dear friend amid the Onmyoryo's internal war, the past that had become the reason she retired.

Advice, inevitably, changed its weight according to the person who gave it. That her words in particular had kept pressing down on Han Seoyeon's heart was surely for that reason.

She was afraid of it turning into forcing her own desire onto Ninomae.

But Chisa had brushed even that aside. She was only afraid Ninomae might not like her back. Watching the traffic light, Han Seoyeon thought it might not be a wrong thing to say. If memory served, the signal at this intersection lasted quite a long time.

Han Seoyeon drew a deep breath.

"Miss Ninomae."

"Miss Shion."

And the voices overlapped.

The words they had finally worked up the resolve to drag out had collided, and the two of them looked at each other with startled faces.

"Please, you speak first."

"Ah, no. You first, Miss Shion..."

"No. Miss Ninomae, you..."

It had been courage wrung out with everything she had, and of all ways, it had been blocked like this. Once that happened, her confidence began crawling right back down into its mousehole.

...What am I even doing.

But she gathered herself again soon enough. What, really, had been the very first thing that made Ninomae begin to weigh on her? Had it not been that radiant sight — frail as her body was, squeezing courage out before a great beast? A woman who had thrown herself forward with not a single weapon, not a single monster, nothing but the will to stand for someone else. And yet here she was, an Apostle, and if all she ever did was run away like this, the thought even rose that she had no right at all to remain at Ninomae's side.

So she opened her mouth again.

"Then, I'll go first..."

"Then, I'll go first..."

Once more, the two of them went silent. They turned their heads in opposite directions and looked out the windows.

The streetlamp right beside them must have been in poor shape; it flickered without rest. But more ridiculous than that broken light was her own figure reflected in the glass. Those wildly trembling pupils were full of a tension you would sooner see in a Trainee Knight than in any veteran.

But the most wretched thing of all—

—was that, to the very last moment, she had failed to produce the courage for that final step, and let the first move be taken from her.

Mary Tepes's tone of voice. Like a rusted hinge groaning, Han Seoyeon's head turned, stiff.

Their eyes met. Ninomae had flushed so deeply it showed plain even under the dim light, and even so she gazed at Han Seoyeon without yielding a fraction. It was a sentence thrown out with no further thought for what came after. She had given up even on leading in with something like having a thing to say. If their words overlapped again, then let them overlap. Get the point across first, and that would be enough. It was a sentence with that resolve set into it.

"There's no double meaning. I love you. I yearn for you. I like you — as a lover."

Both of Ninomae's hands, clenched tight into fists, trembled.

Strictly speaking, this confession had not been possible because Ninomae was any bolder than Han Seoyeon. It was only that the mask called Mary Tepes had given her better conditions for hiding the anxiety and the shaking. Even granting that, it was surely a confession Ninomae had squeezed a great deal of courage to force out.

"...Did you hear something from Miss Yuri?"

And yet, that this should be the very first answer to come out of her made Han Seoyeon despise herself all over again.

Was Ninomae not simply acting to match, now that she had learned Han Seoyeon's true heart? That was the first thought to rise. The smell of acrid gunpowder, and the smell of brain matter soaked in blood, flashed back inside her skull. She had deleted Chisa's recording. But there was no guarantee a second recorder had not existed. The one erased in front of Han Seoyeon might have been bait from the start. Even if not — Chisa had said, then, that she had been under the young lady's orders. She had claimed the near-blackmail by way of the recording was not on her instruction, but that was a separate matter from any guarantee that Yuri had not urged Ninomae on somehow...

"Miss Shion."

Seeing that reaction, Ninomae let her voice return to itself. She had realized what Han Seoyeon was thinking now. Seoyeon was afraid that Ninomae had noticed her feelings and was only playing along — the very same worry Ninomae herself had been holding. They really had no need to resemble each other even in this.

So, for this moment if no other, she had to answer not in Mary's voice, but in Ninomae's. It was shameful, and she was shaking, but she had to convey, a little more certainly than this, that she meant it.

"I know very well what you're worried about. But this is clearly my own will. It's true Miss Yuri gave me a bit of a push, but all that did was help me make up my mind... This feeling itself has been there since long before."

"...Miss Ninomae."

Of course, if one pressed that even this was an act, Ninomae had no way to deny it. A perfect denial had been impossible on this subject from the very beginning. It was a situation for which the words the devil's proof were a perfect fit.

But so be it. That sort of thing truly did not matter.

Ninomae drew in a breath with all the strength she had.

"I really like you. From so long ago that I can't even be sure when it started. At some point I realized I liked you, Miss Shion, an enormous amount. I'll say it again — 'like,' in the romantic sense. I want to be together a little longer, if I can, and I want to kiss you. The gentle kind, and the grown-up kind too. I want to hold hands and go on dates. It doesn't have to be going out; I'd be happy spending time together in any way at all. I like the Miss Shion who teases sometimes but treats me seriously in the end. I like the cool side you show as a holy knight, and I like the slightly loose side that goes wild for Mary to a ridiculous degree. When you pull me into that dependable chest my heart races, and, um, that... I want to do that sort of thing, too. You know? I've done it alone while thinking of you, Miss Shion, so, so many times."

"I— um, Miss Ninomae? First, if you would breathe a little..."

"No. If I have to stop these words just to breathe, then I don't mind not breathing for a little while. This is more important right now. Please listen. Did you know your fingers are long, Miss Shion, and incredibly pretty? At first, honestly, the atmosphere, and your eyes, were really scary, but now just looking at you puts me in a good mood. The dark circles too — yes, I think of them as one of your charms. More than anything, I love the Miss Shion who likes me so, so much. Please be my lover. If we're doing this, I want a serious relationship with marriage in mind. And children... mm, we're both women, so is that one not allowed? Even so, my true feeling is that if it's possible, I want to raise a child between you and me, even if we have to adopt. I like you, Miss Shion, including the slightly perverted part whose eyes go to my legs whenever there's an opening."

Only after spilling the words out for that long a while did Ninomae hang her head and steady her breathing several times over.

"...With this, have I proved it?"

Then, on a trembling breath, in a small voice, she murmured.

"If this is what it takes for you to believe that my liking you isn't a lie, Miss Shion... is it still not enough?"

No answer came.

Surely even this had fallen short of settling the devil's proof — ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠of making Seoyeon believe in her true heart. Ninomae squeezed her eyes shut. No. Even if that were so, she would only keep throwing herself against it until it got through. She gathered herself once more, and with a resolved light in her eyes she ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠snapped her head up to look at Han Seoyeon.

"...Hweh?"

And her eyes met Han Seoyeon's — a face gone completely scarlet, mouth opening and closing on nothing.

It was a red deeper than anything Ninomae had seen since the day she met Han Seoyeon. The dazed little sound had slipped out between her lips before she could stop it.

Silence flowed through the cabin.

"...Ah. Please take care of me, from now on."

How much time had passed? Han Seoyeon murmured it in a voice that shrank in on itself, nothing like her usual self. At that answer, a bright smile spread over Ninomae's face.

"Yes! Please take care of me too!"

Ninomae threw her arms around her, fierce, almost hurling her whole body in. Han Seoyeon, embarrassed still, pressed a soft peck to the nape of her neck.

"U-um, there's another place besides there, isn't there...?"

"...Yes. So there is."

And at the pouty complaint that followed, Han Seoyeon — only then having recovered some small measure of composure — smiled faintly.

The two looked at each other, and their lips met. It was no more than a fairly short instant, but of every kiss they had shared until now, it was the one that tickled deepest inside the chest. Moist gazes went on staring at each other. And then, as if drawn in, one more kiss—

HONK!

"Nnh—!"

"...A-ahem. F-for now, let us go home."

"Y-yes. Yes. Let's."

At the horn from behind, the two hurriedly opened the distance and set themselves straight. At some point, the traffic light had begun to shine green.

From then until the moment they reached home, Ninomae and Han Seoyeon kept their faces red and made a stubborn point of looking only straight ahead.

Only, Ninomae had reached out and held one of Han Seoyeon's arms the whole way — just lightly enough that it would not get in the way of her driving.