Chapter 35. The Cheetah(?) Is Laughing Now.
Chapter 35. The Cheetah(?) Is Laughing Now.
The sun rose, and birds chirped outside the window.
Laila opened her eyes, feeling more refreshed than usual.
"Uh... huh...?"
Laila's pupils quaked as if an earthquake had struck. She quickly checked herself—she was wearing a clean oversized shirt instead of last night's clothes.
Her heart instantly started pounding.
"D-Did I... No way... Did I finally... with Hero...!?"
Her hand cautiously slipped under the blanket. All these years, no matter how many advances came her way, she had never once returned a single glance while waiting for this day(?).
But there was no soreness, no stinging sensation, and the bed was soft and pristine.
"Why am I perfectly fine? I heard it's supposed to hurt the first time."
Still, a silly grin spread across her face. In her head, she was already picturing her future grandchildren.
"Haaah...! I can't remember a single thing...! I must be out of my mind!"
Clutching her pounding heart, she calmly surveyed her surroundings. Contrary to her expectations, there was only one pillow. No trace(?) of anything else. And this was the living room, not her and Hero's bedroom. The moment reality sank in, Laila's eyes went ice-cold.
"Ah..."
All those blissful daydreams she'd been kicking her feet about—they were nothing but her own imagination. The instant she realized it, her soaring heart plummeted straight into the ground.
Still, the fact that her clothes had been changed meant someone had undressed her. Even if unintentional, Hero had seen her beautiful, pure-white(?) body.
"He must be conscious of me now...!"
Her crushed heart bobbed back up just a little. Grinning from ear to ear, she straightened her clothes and stepped out. It must have been the weekend, because her mother was already preparing breakfast.
"Mother, I'm so sorry..."
"Don't be, it's fine. I may look like this, but I'm an S-rank Hunter, you know? Changing a young lady's clothes was no trouble at all~"
The one who had changed her clothes wasn't Hero—it was her mother. The heart that had bobbed up slightly now dropped through the floor and buried itself deep underground.
---
─ Clink, clink...
At a table normally filled with conversation, the only sound was the clatter of cutlery. We ate in silence, until Mother, unable to bear it, spoke up.
"Did you two have a fight?"
"No, why would we fight?"
"There's no way I would ever fight with Hero..."
Laila seemed strangely subdued, as if embarrassed by her own disgraceful(?) behavior the night before. As for me, I was still feeling awkward after the drinking stream and talking with the viewers.
'Ugh, it's all the alcohol's fault...'
The viewers' chats from last night started flooding back into my memory, one by one.
- You dumbass, if a girl isn't interested, she doesn't do stuff like that.
- You forever-alone virgin, that's not a delusion, it's as obvious as it gets, fuck.
- I've literally never seen a more frustrating bastard than you, lololol.
- The guy looks like he's slept with dozens of women, fucking hell, lol.
Of course, I banned that last chat.
Anyway, there was a reason Laila was especially touchy with me and always stuck close. I'd brought her from the convent when she was young and shown her freedom, so I'd thought she simply followed me like a father or older brother. Something like romance had always been a luxury for us on the battlefield.
'No... maybe I just denied it on purpose, because I was someone who had to return to Earth in the end...'
This was a huge problem. How am I supposed to look at Laila while streaming from now on?
We tidied up the table and retreated to the room.
[ World's Strongest Hero : Hangover ]
[Do S-ranks get hangovers?]
[Is this real?]
[Lol you idiot hahaha]
Normally I would have hosted the stream with practiced ease, but right now, something felt different.
[ Saintess's Foot Wiper has donated 10,000 Watts! ]
- Did you two fight? Saintess's expression looks so gloomy.
"You sound exactly like my mom."
We didn't fight at all. It's just that I felt a little weird looking at Laila...
[Suspicious...]
[Don't tell me you two yesterday...!?]
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[The streamer's skilled knife-handling, shudder.]
[Typically people can't meet each other's eyes the day after their first time out of embarrassment, lol.]
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I carried out a mass purge of the treacherous subjects spouting nonsense. Then the other viewers started saying different things.
[Martyr, sniff...]
[So another martyr departs like this...]
[We will not forget your courage.]
"Do you guys want to go next?"
They keep typing these embarrassing chats. As if I was not already feeling all restless and uneasy...
[ Saintess's Foot Wiper has donated 10,000 Watts! ]
- (Video donation)
A video donation came in, so I unthinkingly hit play. Then I saw myself, completely drunk, rambling at the viewers.
- Laila? She's pretty... I even get flustered sometimes, you know?
- Dating Laila? I'd be happy...
- Laila confessing first? I seriously can't even imagine it.
"Hey, you sons of bitches!!!"
A dark history that could wake the dead was being excavated in excruciating detail. It felt like having a guys' group chat shown to a third party.
[Gold Sun's face turning red is a precious sight...]
[Oh... maybe it's possible?]
[Possible, my ass lol, you yellow bastard, lololol.]
[Are you perhaps a female yellow?]
A coarse curse flew out of my mouth without even passing through my brain. I braced my side, expecting Laila's sharp fingernails to come flying at any second.
'...?'
I felt nothing. But when I glanced to the side, a slight smile had settled on Laila's lips, and she wore a triumphant expression.
"Hmm...?"
[ Saintess's Foot Wiper has donated 10,000 Watts! ]
- Any man who thinks Saintess isn't pretty is either impotent or gay, I guarantee it.
[What do you do if you guarantee it, lol.]
[What are you?]
"Oh geez, honestly, I admit Laila is on the pretty side too."
I turned back to the screen and started chatting with the viewers again. Laila was grinning away happily beside me, for some reason. And in the moment my eyes were elsewhere, a chat flew right past me.
[Look at the murderous glint in Saintess's eyes, this guy's gonna get devoured soon...]
In that moment, Song Hoon missed both the chat and Laila's gaze. He missed the fact that Laila's eyes were flashing, fixed directly on him. And in the chat, the viewers silently offered their condolences to their Hero.
---
Before I knew it, two hours had passed since we started streaming together. Hero stepped away to take a call.
"Everyone I met at the party seemed like lovely people, didn't they?"
Laila was hosting the stream alone with the viewers. But her mind was far, far away, drifting through a field of sweet beans.
'Hero's eyes... He's definitely conscious of me.'
That was more than enough. She had studied diligently. She'd listened to stories of the past from Hero's mother, investigated his hobbies, and learned what type of woman he liked.
'Simply waiting for him to look my way was foolish... I had to seize him.'
She simply couldn't stop smiling as she imagined the future she would create.
[Saintess's face is too scary...]
[What on earth are you thinking to smile like that...]
"Huh? No, I was just remembering how much fun the party was."
A dense Hero who couldn't take a hint even when she drops loads of obvious signals? That didn't matter. He only needed to look her way once. And the moment she hooked him with her claws—
'I would absolutely, never let go...'
Isn't the Saintess and Hero getting together the very definition of a happy ending? She was going to make him a body that could not live without her.
'I've already completely figured out Hero's tastes from the videos(?) he saved...'
Of course, she'd deleted every last one of those videos out of spite.
'Heh heh...'
Without fail, she would achieve on Earth the dreams that went unfulfilled over there. Preferably while raising a whole bunch of children who looked like Hero...
'Hmm... to start with, shall I had about three children...?'
If she presented Mother with rabbit-like grandchildren, Mother would certainly be delighted too. Probably?
---
In the middle of the call, I suddenly felt an inexplicable chill. I couldn't even remember the last time I felt cold or heat...
"Ugh... goosebumps all of a sudden..."
- In any case, please, I'm begging you...
The person on the other end was the Presidential Chief of Staff. He was requesting that I visit the Blue House regarding a commendation.
'Ordinarily, a streamer shouldn't get entangled in political gender conflicts like this...'
Beneath this man's practically pleading request, I had a strong sense that something else lay hidden.
"I'll be honest with you..."
I vented my worries and complaints to him. I had no idea if an older gentleman like him understood the ecosystem of a streamer, but he listened intently, interjecting with reassurances.
"If you simply want a photo with me for approval ratings..."
- Absolutely not! I can firmly declare that!
That was what was so great about modern phones. The calls were automatically recorded. After a brief silence, the Chief of Staff's voice turned considerably serious as he continued.
- The truth is, this concerns China... Their economic sanctions and pressure are becoming a tangible reality.
"But why the commendation all of a sudden...?"
He said the Blue House needed a public-facing justification to meet with me. That justification would be awarding the commendation. They were concerned that if a national leader and a Hunter met in private, malicious rumors would inevitably follow.
'Oh, for crying out loud, they could've just said that from the start...'
I still couldn't get used to the way these old-timers beat around the bush.