The Mage Who Cherishes Me
"…"
I opened my eyes. This was my room. Had I fainted?
Someone beside me was smoothing my hair back into place. The touch was familiar.
"Yusia?"
"You're awake?"
Radiant golden eyes looked down at me. She wore a faint smile, and in it sat every bit of a hero's dignity. But the moments just before I lost consciousness laid themselves over the sight of her.
And still, as if nothing at all were wrong, she said it.
"I wonder if you liked the gift I gave you."
"What were you thinking?"
"What do you mean, what was I thinking?"
"You're a hero, Yusia. The hero who protects humanity! So how could you massacre innocent people?"
Yes. Yusia was a hero. The hero who protected humankind. All the while she traveled with the Sword of Trust, the point of her sword had been aimed at monsters alone. She had not even taken the lives of the bandits who threatened us. Set aside the fact that she had locked me away, and she had been a noble hero.
So why?
"Now, now. Fren. That isn't right."
The hand that had been tidying my hair came down. Over my eyes. Along my cheek. And then to my throat. Slender fingers closed gently around my neck.
"Those people were not innocent."
"What?"
"They tried to take you away. The moment they did that, they were already guilty. Because you, Fren—"
Yusia's face drew near. Her breath touched my skin.
"—are a member of the Sword of Trust."
"That's absurd…"
"You can think the worst of me if you like. I don't mind. But this is the truth."
"You, Yusia—"
The words you're the worst rose to the edge of my tongue. I could not let them out. If not for her, I would not be alive now. When I closed my mouth, Yusia smiled, satisfied.
"That's right. Fren. We're companions, aren't we? We ought to look after each other."
"I'm no help at all…"
"You're a help just by being here. I'm sorry, but I'll be keeping the door locked today. Rest."
"Wait."
"What is it?"
"The monster subjugation. Was that a lie?"
I had set the day for today precisely because Yusia said she was going out to hunt monsters. But far from leaving on any hunt, she had seized every one of my helpers and killed them. Yusia had never once given me false information. If that was no longer true—if I could no longer trust even the word of my own companions—then my hope of ever getting out would vanish.
Yusia studied me with an unreadable expression.
"Fren. You need to understand this."
"Understand what?"
"I never lie to you. The subjugation is finished."
"…"
In less than an hour she had hunted the monsters beyond the capital, and then killed all of my helpers?
Yusia Frontline. She was a hero, truly. And she was a monster.
"Rest well. I'll have something light prepared for dinner."
A soft rustle, and Yusia was gone. The door shut without a sound.
I stared up at the ceiling, where a needlessly ornate chandelier hung. All at once the glittering thing blurred.
"Ugh… hhk… hnn…"
Not only the chandelier. Everything before my eyes went hazy.
"Aaaaah! Ah! Aaaaah!"
The scream tore out of me on its own. Because of me. Because I had asked for help, thirty innocent people were dead. And by the hero's own hand!
What was I, that it should come to this? A frail little cat beastfolk—what could I possibly be worth? Because of me!
"I'm sorry. I'm sorry…"
Rage welled up, but there was nothing I could do. All I could do was murmur apologies to the dead who had become corpses for my sake.
"I'm sorry…"
That day, I cried until exhaustion dragged me under.
I must not look for helpers.
I could not escape alone, and yet if I went looking for someone to help me, that person would die at Yusia's hands. No one ought to die for the likes of me. I had to find a way out by myself.
But how?
I was a frail porter. I could not lift so much as fifteen kilograms, and the moment a grown man stepped toward me, I had no way to resist. What I had to slip past was nothing less than the eyes of the hero's party. If I had been capable of escaping alone, I would have done it long ago.
Then I would add a single word to the rule.
I must not look for a helper who would die.
I needed someone Yusia could not kill. People like that were hardly common. In a mere five years, the Sword of Trust had led humanity to victory against the demonkin. Search the whole world, and there would be no one who could stand against that party. Even the Emperor himself could not treat Yusia lightly. Should the Empire try to pressure the Sword of Trust, it would only be the Empire that suffered for it.
In that case, a hero's party would be met with a hero's party.
It was a bright, clear afternoon. On days like that, Yusia would take me out to the garden for tea. It was not only with her, though. The Sword of Trust kept a rotation for tea time: days shared by everyone, and days each of them enjoyed alone. Today was one of the solitary days. A shame I was never counted among those "each," but there it was.
Today's turn belonged to the mage of the Sword of Trust. Kailin Arseria.
"Hunyaang! Fren! Nom, nom!"
"Kailin. My ear is soaking wet."
"Fren's ear is yummy."
The red-haired woman had her teeth in my ear, her face gone utterly slack with delight. This was Kailin, who could blow a mountain away with a single spell. She looked scatterbrained enough, but the moment battle began, she directed the field more coldly than anyone.
"Here, try this, Kailin."
"Tea that Fren recommends! It's delicious!"
"Haha. Is it?"
Kailin was grinning like a fool. I let my eyes drift downward, just a little, and she caught the drop of my gaze even as she drank.
"Fren, what's wrong? Did something happen?"
"Well, it's just… ah, no. It's nothing."
I trailed off on purpose. At that, Kailin set her cup down.
"Fren. We're friends, aren't we?"
"…Yes."
"Then tell me. What happened?"
That reaction told me something. Yesterday's massacre of thirty people had been Yusia's doing alone.
Kailin and Aphron aren't the sort to take part in something like that, anyway.
Even so, I was glad the two of them had not gotten blood on their hands. I set that relief aside and said what I had to say.
"The truth is, something bad happened yesterday."
"Something bad? Did Yusia make the bathwater too hot?"
"It isn't that. It's… ugh. Mmph."
Yesterday's scene rebuilt itself perfectly behind my eyes. Yusia, smiling, waving at me. Behind her, thirty corpses heaped up as if they were worth nothing. Innocent people, every face twisted in agony.
"Ngh."
"Fren!?"
Kailin flailed. I had not meant to take it this far. A girl's body made it far too hard to hold the tears back.
"Hiiing… hic… hnn…"
"Ah, ah, ah, what do I do? Why is our cute Fren crying? Who made you cry? Big sis will scold them!"
"N-no. I… I can't say."
"Who in the world did this? Don't you trust me?"
"Y-you'll be d-disappointed in me."
"I would never be disappointed in cute Fren!"
"R-really?"
"Of course!"
"Even if I say it's because of Yusia?"
"Huh?"
Kailin's face went blank. Swallowing my sobs, I explained what had happened the day before. With every word her pupils wavered, and by the time I finished, her expression had twisted.
"So. It was Yusia."
"Yes…"
"Truly?"
"Truly. If I'm lying, then I'm the worst person alive."
"Hey! No! Don't put yourself down! Fren is kind! There, there!"
Kailin scrubbed her hand all over my head. Even so, the touch was soft, and it felt good. I choked back the purr that rose on its own and went on.
"So I was so sad. And I became afraid of Yusia."
"I see. You must have been really scared. And still you came to have tea with me. That's my brave Fren."
Kailin held a cookie out to me.
"Today, let's eat this and forget all about it. All right?"
"Yes. Thank you, Kailin. You might even be better than Yusia."
"Better than Yusia?! Kyaa~ That's right. I'm Kailin, the one Fren likes more than Yusia!"
After that we idled through nothing in particular until tea time came to an end. Kailin fussed that she wanted to play with me a little longer, but as the sitting Court Archmage she had precious little time to spare. In the end Yusia dragged her off. On any other day she would have gone along quietly.
"Let go! I'll go myself!"
"Hm? Fine. Easier for me if you go on your own."
She flung off Yusia's arm and walked out of the mansion on her own two feet.
Good. There was no mistaking it. Hearing what I had said had made her uncomfortable with Yusia. If I kept widening the rift like this, a crack might open in the Sword of Trust!
Outside the mansion, where Fren's eyes could not reach.
Kailin, midway through her walk, spread her arms toward Yusia.
"What are you doing?"
"Carry me again."
"Haah. I knew it."
Yusia took her onto her back without a word of complaint. Riding there, Kailin swung her legs.
"You're heavy. Stop kicking."
"I know you don't mean that, Yusia! Honestly. Next to Fren, you've got no cuteness at all."
"Fren alone is plenty of cute. So. What was that earlier?"
"Earlier?"
"Why were you so cold to me in front of Fren?"
"Our Fren was under a cute little misunderstanding."
"A cute misunderstanding?"
Kailin smiled, sweet and sly.
"Those criminals from yesterday. She thinks you killed them all by yourself."
"Ah. So that's it."
"And she said she likes me better than you. Jealous?"
"That, I'll admit, I envy."
"Kyaa! How long has it been since I got one over on Yusia! I'll just have to let her keep being fooled!"
Kailin beamed. Listening to the laughter, Yusia shook her head, reflecting that her own temperament was, at the very least, kinder than that of the woman on her back.
