Chapter 70. What the Fuck
Chapter 70. What the Fuck
The original objective—finding a suitable companion to serve as a support member for the hero party.......
In short, the task Martina had given me of bringing in an S-rank adventurer ended in failure.
No matter how skilled someone is or how much they've benefited from their equipment, if their character is a total fucking scumbag, they must never be allowed into a party.
If it were up to me, I'd seize control of their mind and turn them into half a wreck, but that would be pushing it for now.
There had been too many onlookers at the time, and if I meddled with someone with the renown of an S-rank, investigations could open up from all sides.
It couldn't be helped. For now, I'd let it slide and simply hope that an opportunity to crush that bitch would come later.
"Ah, Dave, you're here?"
After I'd reined in my temper, I found Yumir in the mansion's living room.
Noticing me, she closed the book she'd been reading and gave a light wave of her hand.
"Yes, Miss Yumir, you came back early. I'd been prepared for the possibility that you might stay out overnight if the quest ran long."
"I wanted to see your face sooner, so I picked one that could be done in a day and came back."
"......."
"...Why the sudden stern face? Am I not allowed to even joke?"
Ah, of course she would say that.
What this young lady with no memory felt for me was romantic interest—nothing more.
"Still, what man would actually be happy if a foul-tempered woman like me said she wanted to see his face?"
"Ah, no. I didn't go quiet for that reason. It was just so sudden......."
Whatever the case, as long as her memories hadn't returned, there was nothing to hinder me in how I dealt with her. With that in mind, I gave her my usual bright smile.
"I'm glad you returned safely, Miss Yumir."
The usual smile I'd crafted to conceal my true intent.
Facing it, Yumir gave a soft chuckle and glanced toward the person slumped over on the opposite side.
"I've always thought this, Dave, but your smile really is something pleasant to see. To the point that I find myself thinking... it'd be nice if this one here showed me a face like that."
Serika was burying her head in the table arranged in front of the sofa.
She must have noticed from the conversation that I was back, yet Serika still refused to lift her head from the table.
"Uu, uuuu......."
Was the groan that escaped her lips from exhaustion? Feeling a touch of needless worry, I turned smoothly back to Yumir to grasp the situation.
"That aside, what's going on with Serika?"
"What do you think? She went on a quest and completely screwed it up."
"Who says I screwed anything up?!"
Only then did Serika snap, flinging herself up from the table. Looking on the verge of tears, she pointed a finger at Yumir and shouted.
"Dave! Just listen to me! It's Miss Yumir! Miss Yumir—!!!"
"Okay, calm down first, Serika. I'll listen if you explain it."
You've probably had it rough, but I've also been walking around all day and I'm tired, all right? So be quiet before I hypnotize you and have my way with you.
Unable to actually voice those words, I was racking my brain over how to respond when Serika suddenly quelled her agitation and directed her gaze behind me.
"......Who's the kid back there?"
"'Kid'? What do you... ah."
Ah, now that I thought of it, I'd briefly forgotten.
My irritation with that Atel or whoever she was had been that intense.
I briefly wondered how to explain this. I started to turn and look behind me, but the motion was halted by someone clutching the hem of my clothes from behind.
I knew without looking. The one who had followed me in utter silence all this time, erasing her presence, was now trying to hide her existence even from the two people before me.
"She's not a kid, she's Heira."
"...Heira? That's her name?"
"Yes. She lived as a hunter in the mountains and recently became an adventurer, or so she says. Her rank is low, but she was the best shot among the people at the archery range, so I reached out to her."
About half of it was a lie, but it wasn't exactly false.
In truth, within that archery range....... No, one would be hard-pressed to find a better archer than her among all of humanity.
"Miss Heira, please greet them as well. They're the companions you'll be spending your time with from now on, aren't they?"
"......."
"......Miss Heira. I can't introduce you if you keep hiding behind me."
Yes, this was the issue.
This damn brat's reason for joining this party wasn't a sense of mission like Serika's, nor a sense of positional responsibility like Yumir's—it was because of 'me.'
Since she'd joined the party for my sake alone, from her perspective, even conversing with the other members would feel disagreeable.
In fact, the previous night at the tavern she'd sat by herself just staring blankly at beer foam, and when men approached her, it was them, not her, who led the conversations.......
"It's all right, Heira."
Though I found that attitude troublesome, I'd brought her along, so we'd have to make it work.
I quietly stroked Heira's back and spoke with deliberate gentleness to soothe her.
"Both of them are people who are simply devoted to their duties. We'll be spending time together as adventurers, so wouldn't it be best to make a good first impression?"
"......Okay."
Had my persuasion worked, fortunately?
Soon enough, Heira nodded and stepped out from my side, facing the two who were staring at her.
"......."
Well, she was simply facing them.
After that, she didn't utter a single meaningful word. She just stared at the two of them in silence.
Even as she revealed herself like that, both of their gazes were wholly occupied with examining Heira's appearance.
"...She's tiny."
That was the assessment Serika gave upon first seeing Heira.
"Whoa, a girl."
Similarly, that was the assessment Yumir gave upon first seeing Heira.
"Dave brought a girl with him."
No, to be precise, it was an assessment of me for bringing Heira.
Immediately after, a half-lidded gaze was directed at me, and a soft 'Hmm~' of a hum began to escape her lips.
What now, why is she acting like that again?
"Is there something you find suspect?"
"Oh, no~ nothing. I don't particularly care who you bring along~ It's not like I'm your girlfriend, so why would I bother about your personal affairs?"
Saying this, Yumir pushed up her glasses, then glanced over at Serika, who was closing the distance with Heira, and wore a faintly sly smirk.
As if she were anticipating something from the unfolding situation.
"But I'd bet our lady of the house might find it a little irksome? Just thinking about why I got into that bickering match with that one this morning......."
Oh, for fuck's sake.
Belatedly grasping the problem from Yumir's words, I hurriedly turned toward Serika.
Serika, who was staring at Heira from practically face-to-face distance.
"......."
"......."
Yes, she really was staring.
Lips sealed tight, just like Heira's—no, exuding an even heavier silence.
Damn it, that hopeless hero. She wasn't going to carve Heira up because of me, was she?
Please don't do that. As much of a troublesome little encumbrance as this brat was, if trouble arose in that way it would disrupt my future plans.
"Um......."
Had Heira also been bothered by Serika's stare?
The girl who had maintained her silence all this while was just about to hesitantly speak up.
"......Ear."
Then, Serika slowly began to open her mouth.
A roar filled with fury.......
"She's so cuuuuuute~~~~♥"
No. Serika shrieked something far removed from that and began to squeeze Heira in a tight embrace.
What is this? Is she trying to snap her spine?
"Dave~ Where on earth did you bring such an adorable and cute kid from? Do you know how much I love kids like her?!"
......No, it didn't seem to be that.
Fortunately, it looked as though her emotions intensifying like the previous incident wouldn't cause the worst-case scenario. However, the direction was merely different—the situation was still just as troublesome.
Just look now. Hadn't Heira's complexion gone pale, unable to properly grasp the situation?
"Uh, uhh......."
"Hey, hey, what did you say your name was? Was it Heira?"
"Uu, uun. Heira."
"Your name is cute too~!! Hey, hey, how old are you? How old?"
"...102."
"102? Not 12?"
"Not 12......."
"Kyaa~!! The way you act mature is cute too!"
She really is 102, you idiot.
"Hey, hey, can I just pinch your cheek once?"
But Serika, as if she couldn't care less about that truth, began to fondle Heira's cheeks, kneading them this way and that.
All without so much as asking for consent.
"Uu, uwee......."
"Just look at how soft her cheeks are~ Dave, look at this! This kid's skin is so squishy!!"
"...Go easy on her, Serika. You're being rude to Miss Heira."
Well, knowing Heira's personality, she was the type not to shy away from what came her way, so she probably wouldn't throw a fit.
That aside, did Serika really have that kind of side to her?
Just as I was feeling a sense of relief that her feelings had run wild in that kind of way, Yumir, who had been watching the situation from the sofa, began to laugh as if in disbelief.
"Wow, at this rate she's going to start literally sucking and nibbling. I wonder if I'd have been like that if I were ten years younger?"
"...Well, I suppose it's a good thing if they get along."
Of course, Serika was closer to the one unilaterally imposing herself, but even if the approach was forced, if the result wasn't bad it would eventually be accepted.
After all, that was almost exactly how that girl had ended up following me too.
Considering that personality, she'd probably get friendly with Serika before long, too.
"...Hmm, so she's 102, is she?"
Yes, the problem was this one here rather than Serika.
Unlike Serika, whose first impression hadn't been bad, Yumir was someone I couldn't afford to underestimate—I'd practically staked my life on winning her over.
Fortunately, I had now fully opened her heart to me, so there was no issue, but it was probably too much to expect that benefit to extend to the one I'd brought along.
"Dave, did you know who that kid was when you brought her here?"
...She'd noticed, as expected.
In the first place, what kept Heira's identity hidden was the effect of a magic tool, and she was a Grand Archmage with a remarkable ability to sense mana.
"What do you mean, did I know?"
"...If you don't know, then fine."
Still, she brushed it off by feigning ignorance. Yumir shrugged her shoulders and rose from her seat.
"Well, I'm going to go wash up, so I'll ask you to take care of dinner."
"Ah, yes. I'll have it ready soon. Serika, you'll eat too, right?"
"Of course. Then I'll go wash up with Miss Yumir too, so I'm counting on you~"
Serika spoke as if it were nothing and followed after Yumir.
The murderous atmosphere I'd seen from her before had vanished completely as she hugged Heira.
"What, wash up together? Just because you went on a quest together, isn't that closing the distance a little too quickly?"
"Why does it matter? The important thing is that Heira washes with us too!"
"...So there was an ulterior motive."
Even as she grumbled, Yumir didn't stop Serika from tagging along.
It was a relief that they seemed to have gotten reasonably closer while I hadn't been around, but Heira herself still couldn't find a way into the dynamic between the two of them.
"Um.... uhh......."
She was trying to say something, but perhaps her voice was too soft. In the end, her voice was drowned out by the two's bickering, and Heira's gaze naturally drifted toward me.
A look in her eyes that seemed to be asking me for help.
I answered Heira's gaze with a faint smile.
"It's all right. They're both good people."
"......Okay."
As if my words had set her at ease, Heira shed her reluctance and followed after Yumir and Serika.
By the time the three of them had vanished from sight, I was in the kitchen lifting a kitchen knife to prepare a meal for them.
I watched the smile reflected in the well-polished blade shift into a chilly gaze, and steeled my heart.
"Of course, if I'm going to cook properly, the preparation had better be thorough."
Rest up plenty while you can.
Because that way you'll be able to endure tonight.