Chapter 8: A Woman with No Eye for Men (3)

The world is vast. Somewhere out there, there are people who can spend an entire week blissfully happy just by spreading out a map and drawing border lines wherever they please.

But most students find history classes boring. A meaningless parade of facts, rote memorization for the sake of memorization, and lecturers droning on in a monotonous, leisurely tone... And if it's a required course you didn't even choose just to graduate, it's enough to make anyone's irritation boil over.

Yet the world is vast indeed. That's why the "Imperial History Overview" class at the Imperial Capital Academy has always enjoyed the highest popularity and acclaim.

One might think it's because the Emperor's own sister ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠teaches it—no one would dare give a bad review. But current students and alumni of the Capital Academy all testify with one voice: attend even a single class, and you'll never say that again.

Students who take Anna Kommodus's class are astonished three times over. First, by her elegant, delicate appearance and humble, graceful demeanor, so at odds with her fearsome reputation as "the Emperor's sister and the Empire's traitor." Second, by how she willingly humbles herself, speaking to students with utmost respect. And third, by how she remembers the names and faces of every student who's taken her class—even years after graduation.

If a Capital Academy graduate happens to cross paths with her, whether by chance or design, Anna will close her eyes softly and say, "Augustino Ansel, you took my summer semester class seven years ago. Art department graduate... I heard the millet harvest on your barony this year was excellent. You must have had busy yet bountiful days."

Whether her freakish memory and analytical prowess stem from her family's hereditary mnemonic arts or her own innate brilliance, Anna has never given a clear answer. She simply says, "I'm just very interested in my students."

And now, riding in the same carriage as Anna, Cain was mulling over the true meaning of those words.

Anna and Lily were deep in endless conversation. Mostly pleasantries, daily chit-chat, and gossip about Lily's fellow graduates. Thanks to that, Cain could escape the two women's scrutiny, if only for a moment.

'She even knew Lily's nickname.'

At the academy, Lily had used her real name. The aliases Cain and Lily were chosen by them after joining the Security Bureau.

If Anna were just an ordinary professor, there's no way she'd know the names "Cain" and "Lily." It meant the imperial family had a keen interest in Security Bureau agents.

Moreover, Cain and Lily had been specifically singled out.

Was it mere fondness that led her to invite an old student into the imperial carriage? Cain didn't buy it. There had to be a reason.

And seeing their destination only solidified his suspicions.

Peering through the curtain gap, the streets weren't leading to the central district where the imperial palace stood. The procession was passing through the old town.

'The fork in the road should be coming up soon.'

A grand trumpet blast like a bear's roar echoed out.

Holy Grail Knights broke off from the procession, turning right. Toward the Capital Cathedral, home to the knight order's branch.

The Imperial Guard and Anna's carriage pressed straight ahead. At the end of this road lay the academy's main gate.

Anna Kommodus was still a professor. She gave lectures, wrote papers on her specialty of history, and immersed herself in authoring historical tomes. So going to the academy was no different from heading to work.

But why bring Cain and Lily along...?

Smack.

Suddenly, Anna's fan struck Cain's thigh, snapping his train of thought.

"There it is. That expression."

Anna clutched her waist, laughing.

Cain blinked blankly, looking back and forth between Anna and Lily.

"Do you know what Lily and I were talking about?"

"No idea."

Anna nodded to Lily, who chirped like a bird perched on a morning windowsill.

"We were discussing first impressions. Remembering not just faces and names, but initial feelings as well, makes them stick better."

"We were talking about you. Your first impression. You were a unique student. Keeping distance from everything in the world, yet never averting your eyes. Looking straight ahead, but with pupils that seemed to dream. Always lost in thought—reflecting on the past, predicting the future. The eyes of someone who does that. Like your soul is floating aimlessly, begging for a good smack."

Anna tapped Cain again with her fan.

Cain let out a hollow chuckle.

"Was I really like that? I wouldn't know."

"Of course you wouldn't. How could anyone know their own first impression? I'm curious, though. Lily, what about you? When you first saw Cain?"

"My ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠first impression, ma'am?"

Lily dipped her head slightly, pressing her lower lip, but her smile only spread wider.

"It was much like yours."

Lily's eyes sparkled, and Cain felt a twinge of discomfort.

"So you wanted to smack me too?"

"Ah, no! That's not what I meant!"

Lily punched Cain's arm with her lightly balled fist—more like a playful nudge, really—but it was enough to set Anna laughing again.

"This is fun. Lily, you've changed so much. You were stiffer than a soldier all through school, but now you're quite soft. So, what about now? Compared to that first impression?"

Cain grew even more uneasy. What was Anna's angle? Playful mischief? Genuine curiosity?

But when Lily spoke, those thoughts vanished.

"His expressions don't change much, but he smiles a lot in secret. He rarely laughs out loud, but small smiles come often. He acts indifferent and uninterested, speaks little, but quietly looks after others from behind the scenes. He doesn't boast about his deeds or show off, helping just as much as needed. His subordinates respect him, his peers love and envy him, and his superiors acknowledge his capabilities. And from his position, he always..."

It was like a child asked, 'Can you give me a hundred reasons why you love Mom and Dad?'

Anna went from surprised to shocked, then to barely contained glee, fanning herself desperately behind the curtain she'd flung open.

Cain seriously considered jumping out the carriage door. Maybe taking a hit from the Imperial Guard would be better.

"...is a model example, always doing his utmost from his position... is... n’t he..."

Lily snapped out of her trance, her face flushing crimson. Not even someone who'd forgotten their pants and stepped into the street could look that mortified.

"It's getting warm. Early summer, maybe?"

Anna fanned furiously, tugging at her collar.

"Hmm, Lily. No one has only good qualities. In fact, you should be wary of people like that. They usually hide something massive behind it. Unless their eyes are clouded, that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠is. So I need to check if your perspective is balanced. Let me ask again. Cain's shortcomings—no, wait. It's awkward with him right here. Any wishes? Things you'd like him to do, or do together?"

Lily's expression turned serious. Cain's heart sank.

"...Yes."

Lily yanked Cain's briefcase toward her, clutching it like she'd never let go.

"What is it?"

Cain grew anxious.

'Please don't quit.'

That's probably what Lily would say. Then Anna, the Emperor's sister, would naturally ask, 'Why would you quit?'

What could he say? His lips parted slowly, tensely.

But Lily's answer was utterly unexpected.

"We've never sparred once."

"Sparred?"

Even Anna looked puzzled, matching Cain's confusion.

"You mean pitting martial arts against each other? Combat training?"

"Yes, exactly."

Lily fidgeted with her fingers.

"That's odd. I thought the Security Bureau had as much sparring and training as any military outfit. Cain, is that right?"

"Yes."

Anna straightened up—a unconscious habit when focusing.

"You let the chance to cross swords with the White Blood Knight Order's daughter slip away? Lily may be young, but her technique is near perfection. At least with swords, you could've learned plenty from her."

Cain recalled Bureau Chief Verneis.

'When the hell are you gonna fulfill your mandatory sparring quota!'

Always bellowing like that.

"It's not that I didn't want to. I've hardly sparred at all. Work kept piling up and..."

"Hold on. So you have sparred, just not much?"

With Boehm using the six-foot staff, Bom in wrestling, Godfrey with a shattered chair.

The brothers at the bureau's training hall; Godfrey in a back-alley tavern. The latter, of course, unofficial.

Cain had thigh abrasions; Godfrey a broken nose.

"Yes."

"With swords?"

"...Staff and wrestling."

"Last year? Swords then?"

He couldn't lie to the imperial family. Cain answered honestly.

"...No. Fists and clubs, staff and wrestling..."

A faint twitch crossed Anna's lips.

"Cain. You still don't use a..."

Lily glanced nervously and raised her hand. Anna fell silent, nodding instead.

"The captain wouldn't know. I never requested a spar, and this is the first time I've mentioned it. It's my fault."

Anna's face lit up with mischief again.

"Lily, I always thought your strengths were honesty and boldness. Straightforward as an arrow—that's your nature. Why didn't you say anything? Was there a rule against sparring for new recruits? Not that I know of."

Lily bowed her head, legs pressed tightly together.

"...I was embarrassed. Too embarrassed. I'm sorry. I got carried away by the mood and misspoke..."

"Really. All grown up in body, but still..."

Anna placed her slender hand gently on her cute student's knee.

"Lily. Do you want to be happy?"

"Pardon?"

"Do you want to be happy?"

"...Yes."

"Then prepare yourself to embrace it."

The Emperor's sister. Rightful heir to the throne. The Empire's traitor and academy professor—their mentor—declared it.

"Rising from despair takes effort, but so does accepting and savoring happiness. Convince yourself you deserve it. That's what you must do."

Anna gripped Lily's leg tighter, as if transmitting inner warmth. But Lily looked confused, her expression muddled.

"Lily. Some people can't see a happy ending right in front of them. Others spend all day dwelling on failure, death, despair, bitterness. But those people can never be happy. Know why?"

"No, ma'am."

"They only observe from a distance, like it's someone else's life. So when happiness actually arrives, they can't handle it. They envy and covet others' joy, yearn for their own, but when it comes, they reject it. It's too heavy, too burdensome. They doubt if it's really theirs, if they deserve it—and let it slip away. But failure, death, despair, bitterness? They handle those just fine. They dwell on them all day, preparing in advance how to react. Some even find sad comfort in that familiar helplessness."

For some reason, Cain felt Anna was speaking to him. Though her eyes were on Lily.

"You must train for it. Think of joy and happiness as much as sorrow and tears. That way, you can seize the happiness right before you—not some uncertain future one. Don't resign yourself. Don't let go. No matter what happens, never."

"Yes. I won't let go. Never."

Lily clasped her mentor's hand tightly. Her gaze, though, was on Cain.

Still embarrassed, but brazenly bold.

Of course, moments later, realizing she'd held on too long, she flushed scarlet and released it.

"Early summer is early summer, after all, isn't it?"

Anna wore a sweetly tart expression, like she'd tasted honey-dipped lemon.

"The season when the whole world falls in love. My favorite."

Lily covered her face with her palm, as if that could hide her shyness.

Unaware it only made Cain's heart heavier.

Soon, the procession passed through the academy's main gate.