Adaptation (4)
I stood there motionless for what felt like an eternity, my mind utterly blank. The image of Saren’s head being sliced clean off still flickered vividly before my eyes. What was this girl standing right in front of me? No—more than that… what was I right now?
A chill raced across my entire body. In a panic, I lifted both hands and frantically felt along the back of my neck.
“B-Brother? What are you doing all of a sudden?”
Saren clutched my collar tightly, her eyes wide with worry. But I had no attention to spare for her right then.
“……”
For some reason, my neck was perfectly intact. No cut, not even a scratch. As if nothing had ever happened. Could it all have been a dream?
Yet the crushing pressure of being laid upon the guillotine, the icy touch of the blade grazing my nape, the crowd’s hate-filled screams—they all remained far too vivid. That terror still squirmed deep inside my chest, gnawing away at me.
Then… did that mean this moment was the dream?
“Haa—”
My head was a mess. A mess so complete it had begun to throb.
“Brother…”
Saren called to me again, her voice aching with concern. The small hand gripping my collar, the distinct warmth I could feel through it—both refused to let me deny this reality. A dream could never be this sharp, this alive.
I was definitely breathing. Saren stood right before my eyes, unmistakably alive.
The instant my mind accepted that truth, strength fled my legs and I crumpled to the floor.
“Brother!!!”
“Haha… hahahaha…!!”
A laugh laced with relief slipped from my lips.
“A-are you all right?”
Saren gently laid her hand over mine. I immediately pulled away, only to seize her slender wrist and draw her into my arms.
“Eep—! B-Bro—”
“I’m so glad. I’m truly glad you’re safe, Saren…”
My voice shook. Tears surged up without warning, spilling down my cheeks. Was I relieved to be alive myself? Or was it because Saren had survived? The latter, without question.
She was only a younger sister from some setting, yet the relief I felt was overwhelming. Was it simply because I was her brother? Or because her survival seemed to be the key to my return to reality? It didn’t matter.
The fact that she was alive was enough.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you…”
A small, warm hand brushed across my back. She stroked my trembling spine with careful tenderness and whispered softly.
“Don’t apologize. You’ve always protected me, Brother.”
“Saren…”
“You must have gone through something terrible. It’s all right. I’m always here beside you.”
“Hic…”
“There, there.”
Her sincere, gentle words melted something deep inside my chest. I knew almost nothing about this girl. In truth, she was closer to a stranger. And yet every word she offered wrapped around my heart like balm. The raw terror that had been devouring me slowly peeled away, and her warmth began to fill the hollow it left behind.
Knock, knock.
A timely rap sounded from behind me. It had to be Vivian arriving with the medicine.
Creeeeak—
“Lady Saren, it’s time for your medicine… Oh my, the young master is here as well. But why are you both on the floor…?”
At her words my eyes snapped up. Just as I expected, she carried the tray of medicine. Yet the line itself was subtly different from before. That definitely wasn’t what she had said last time.
“Thank you as always, Vivian.”
“Not at all.”
With a soft clatter the tray was set down, and Vivian continued.
“I’ll leave the medicine here, so please be sure to take it, my lady. And…”
Her hand settled on my still-dazed shoulder. A quiet whisper brushed my ear.
“The master would not be pleased to see you like this, young master.”
At those words, I caught the fleeting expression that crossed Saren’s face. For the briefest instant something eerie flickered through her eyes. It vanished so quickly I wondered if I had imagined it.
“Young master?”
“Ah, yes. I was just about to leave.”
I rose to my feet and offered Saren my hand. She beamed, delighted, and used it to pull herself up.
“I’ll come see you again, Saren. Take your medicine and rest well.”
“Yes! Have a wonderful day too, Brother!”
“Mm. See you later, Vivian.”
“Yes.”
After leaving Saren’s room I walked the quiet corridor, retracing everything that had happened to me.
“……”
To the Beginning
Automatic regression to the initial save point upon death.
I still didn’t fully understand the exact mechanics of my unique skill, To the Beginning. But one thing was certain: I had returned to the exact moment I first possessed this body. In other words, I had regressed. And the fact that I retained every memory from my previous life was an overwhelming advantage. I could not waste this golden chance. There was no guarantee I would ever return again.
The problem was that I had no idea when the soldiers would storm the estate. Falling asleep in my room had been a serious mistake. I needed to discover why events had diverged from the prologue before they arrived. Only then could I avoid repeating the same fatal errors.
Had bringing Vivian to my room been the trigger? Or had it been falling asleep? Or simply the act of going to my room at all?
Damn it. There were far too many variables—variables created simply because I was human. No matter how cautiously I acted, I could not control events beyond my reach.
What if Vivian tripped on the stairs while carrying the medicine and injured herself badly? What if Saren decided to take a walk in the meantime? It would be the beheading ending with no escape.
I had briefly considered fleeing with only Saren, but the prologue made it clear that Vivian’s presence was essential. The addition of just one more person had multiplied the possible outcomes into an unmanageable number.
“Ugh, I really hate complicated things.”
I scratched the back of my head roughly and finally turned my steps around.
Knock knock—
“Saren, it’s me. May I come in?”
“Ah! Brother?!”
The door flew open almost before Saren’s excited voice had finished.
“Uh.”
The sight of her made my body freeze. Had she been preparing for a nap? She stood before me in a pink silk slip dress, her long white hair completely unbound. And it was obvious she wore nothing beneath it. I hurriedly averted my eyes.
“Brother? Did you leave something behind?”
“N-no, that’s not it…”
I had nowhere safe to look.
“Kyaa!! I’m sorry!! One moment please!!”
Realizing her state, Saren slammed the door shut. Rustling sounds came from inside. Soon the door opened again and she reappeared wearing a large outer robe over the slip. Her face was flushed crimson; she couldn’t meet my gaze, her eyes darting everywhere.
“Uuuu… Y-you were startled, weren’t you…?”
“No, it’s fine.”
It wasn’t really, but I said it anyway.
“Still… what brings you back so soon, Brother…”
“May I come in for a moment?”
“Of course! Please, come in!!”
Saren’s room was smaller than mine yet still far larger than anything I had known in my previous life. It was decorated with colorful trinkets in a distinctly girlish style. A faint scent of roses I hadn’t noticed earlier drifted past my nose.
While I stood there absentmindedly taking it in, a small hand suddenly slipped into mine. I startled.
“Coming to see me twice in one day… I’m so happy.”
Did normal siblings hold hands this often? As an only child, I had no idea.
“Shall we sit and talk?”
“Yes, I’d love to!”
Saren smiled brightly and we settled across from each other at the round tea table near the window.
Now that I was here, where should I even begin?
“Saren, listen without misunderstanding.”
My suddenly serious tone made her tilt her head, puzzled.
“Soldiers will soon storm the mansion.”
“Soldiers?! Why would soldiers come here?!”
Her voice rose sharply. Her pupils began to tremble.
“A rumor has spread that Father committed treason against the Emperor.”
“What?! Father—treason?! How could that possibly—”
“It’s hard to believe, but it’s true.”
Saren bit her lower lip hard. The shock was written plainly across her face. Even to me it sounded absurdly abrupt, but with no idea how much time remained, I had no luxury to soften the blow.
“The imperial forces will come for us soon. You, me, every servant in this house—we’ll all be beheaded.”
“That can’t be… How could…”
Saren pressed a hand to her forehead, voice quivering.
“But Brother… how did you know all this?”
“Huh?”
I hadn’t prepared an answer that far. What could I possibly say?
“I… I just somehow found out.”
It sounded too rushed, even to me. The look she gave me now held both fear and a faint trace of wariness.
“That isn’t what matters right now, Saren. Do you trust me?”
“Brother…”
She hesitated, then gave a slow nod. The corner of my mouth lifted slightly in relief.
“Thank you.”
It was fortunate they were such close siblings.
The next problem was the parents written into the setting. According to the prologue they were doomed to die. The fleeting thought of ‘Should I save them?’ crossed my mind but melted away just as quickly.
With my own neck on the chopping block, what did parents I had never truly known matter? I would abandon them without hesitation. No matter that they were my parents in name, they were strangers. I would feel no guilt.
From the beginning, my only goal was to save Saren. No one else—just Saren.