Perception (7)
I had never said anything like that to Saren. I had never killed that person, and I had never even seen their face. So why was she saying those things to me? That I had brutally murdered her fiancé? Why was she making it all up….
“······.”
I swallowed hard without realizing it. That wasn’t me. I wasn’t originally Serion, after all. But why had I just instinctively thought of myself as him?
“Brother.”
“······.”
“You took my entire life from me. No, I gave it all to you. But… but why are you suddenly pretending you don’t know anything······?”
Saren spoke while thick tears dripped down her face. Yet in those red eyes, it wasn’t sorrow that lingered—it was rage.
“It wasn’t me.”
“······What?”
I looked straight into her eyes.
“I said it wasn’t me. So stop pinning it on me.”
“W-what do you…”
I was Serion, but I wasn’t Serion. I had no intention of shouldering the things this man had done in the past, nor did I want to.
“Chloe.”
“Yeees, young master—?”
She answered in a mocking tone, as if the situation amused her. That smirking face kept grating on my nerves.
“Can you heal Vivian? You’re a saint, aren’t you?”
“Of course I can! But why would I heal a heretic?”
“Haa…”
These women were all the same. Not a single one of them was any damn help.
“Brother!!!”
At that moment, Saren screamed and grabbed my collar, shaking me violently. Her voice was so piercing it felt like it was splitting my skull, and I couldn’t help but frown.
“Y-you’re talking to me right now… so you should only look at me. You should only think about me!! Why are you looking at that other bitch? Am I not enough for you? Ah! Is it because I refused to sleep with you? Is that why? If that’s the case, I’ll apologize! I won’t refuse anymore! I’ll do it well! I’ll satisfy you more than anyone else! Okay!? I can’t live without you anymore. You made me this way, so why do you keep looking somewhere else? Say something, please!!”
“······.”
“Please… can’t you just look at me now…? Please······.”
Saren lowered her head and sobbed pitifully. She looked like a young girl who had lost something precious. Naturally, I felt no pity. Speaking of sleeping together, though… did that mean this body had tried to have relations with Saren before I possessed it? We were siblings. Twins, even. How the hell was that possible?
“Do you remember? Last week, you were so drunk that you tried to rape me while I was on my period.”
Saren lifted her head and continued.
“When I bled, you threw me aside in disgust and immediately called another maid to spend the night with. Did you think I didn’t know? I stayed silent even though I knew!! I endured it while crying!! Because I love you, brother!! Because I wanted you to only look at me!!”
“Then why the hell are you taking it out on poor Vivian?! She was running away but still grabbed your medicine!! While we were only thinking about saving ourselves and packing our own luggage, she…!!”
“······.”
“She came here with nothing but your medicine, without a single piece of her own luggage. After seeing that, you feel nothing…?”
“Nope.”
“······What?”
The moment I finished speaking, Saren gave a chilling smile and began stroking my face with both hands. Her tear-streaked expression only heightened the grotesqueness.
“Why? Why are you making that face? Do I disgust you? If you hated me this much, you shouldn’t have killed my fiancé. If you hadn’t, I would have been sold off and we would never have seen each other again, right? Have you forgotten? You locked up my fiancé and asked if he had slept with me. Even when he answered honestly that he hadn’t, you cut off one of his fingers each time. In the end, you severed his ankles, hung him in the air, and let him wither away. You had every chance to let me go, but you held onto me. So why are you suddenly pushing me away now? What am I supposed to do!!”
The words poured out of her without a single breath in between, and they didn’t sound like lies. I had no memories of it, of course, but it didn’t feel like Serion’s mind was rejecting what she said. That didn’t mean I had to bear the weight of all those sins.
“······Move.”
I shoved Saren aside and bent down to check on Vivian. She was unconscious, but I could still feel her faint breathing.
“What are you doing? Didn’t you hear me?”
I snapped at Chloe.
“I already told you, didn’t I? I don’t treat heretics—”
“I told you not to fucking call her a heretic.”
“······.”
The moment I glared at her, I felt a surge of heat ripple through my body. It didn’t cause any visible change, but I definitely felt it. That sensation lasted only a moment.
Crunch—
“······?”
A longsword I hadn’t even seen coming pierced straight through my wrist. A silver blade, a pure white hilt, and a long sword embedded with a red gem in the middle. The instant my brain registered the sight, searing pain exploded and I saw my wrist fall away.
“Ugh—!!”
“I told you to only look at me when we’re talking, brother.”
The owner of that sword was none other than Saren. Where the hell had she pulled out such a massive blade from…? Had she summoned it?
“When we’re talking, only look at me. Even when we’re not talking, only look at me. Always. No matter where you are, only look at me. I should only look at you, and you should only look at me. Why? Because we promised each other. But you keep looking away like this, so I have no choice, right?”
“Haa… haa…”
I clutched my severed wrist and looked up. Crimson eyes gleamed as they stared down at me. The exact same gaze she had when she killed me in the church last time.
······I was going to die again.
Still, it was fine. This life had given me far too much. It had been a reasonably satisfying existence, so death didn’t scare me. What truly gnawed at me was the fear of how I would die. I wished she would just cut my throat in one clean stroke.
“So you’re going to kill me?”
Shunk—
The moment I spoke, her sword pierced my left shoulder.
“Aaargh!!”
I screamed in agony and grabbed the blade with my bare hand. The pain was so intense it felt like my hand would be sliced off, but if I let go now, she would definitely sever my shoulder. No, she absolutely would.
“Chloe, was it?”
Saren tilted her head and asked.
“Mhm— What about it?”
“Since you’re a saint, you can at least heal, right?”
“Well, yeah.”
“How much mana do you have left?”
“More than enough.”
More than enough? Last time when Saren killed me, she had definitely said her mana was completely drained. Why was it different now…? Ah, maybe it was because we hadn’t reached that point in time yet. That explained why she looked so endlessly relaxed compared to how pathetic she had been last time.
Damn it. What a fucking terrible timing.
“Good.”
Saren flashed a satisfied smile and turned her gaze back to me.
“Brother.”
“······Just kill me already. What the hell are you doing, dragging it out like this?”
Saren crouched down, stroked my face, and whispered.
“Oh my, why would I kill you, brother? You told me yourself. We are together from the beginning until the very end. I don’t want to die yet, so I won’t kill you either.”
“But it hurts enough to die. What now?”
“Just that much? That level of pain can’t even compare to what I’m feeling right now, brother. I… my heart feels like it’s being torn apart, you know?”
What utter bullshit. To spout such nonsense in front of someone whose wrist had been cut off and whose shoulder had been impaled.
“Still, I hate seeing you in pain. I’ll have the saint heal you.”
“······.”
The more we talked, the less I understood what she was planning. Then again, there was no way I could comprehend the thoughts of a crazy bitch.
“But before that.”
Saren’s voice suddenly turned ice-cold, and a ominous premonition swept over my entire body.
“After I make you the way I want.”
“What…”
The moment I tried to ask, slash—!!
“Aaaaaargh!!”
Saren raised her sword high, and my left shoulder was completely severed.
“Guh…”
I immediately slammed my head against the floor and clenched my teeth. It hurt. It was a different dimension of pain from having my uvula crushed or my face burning. There was no point comparing which was worse. To make matters worse, my right hand was already gone, so I couldn’t even clutch my left shoulder. I had no choice but to endure this scorching agony directly.
“Chloe, heal my brother. Just stop the bleeding.”
Saren’s voice brushed past my ear. So that’s what she meant by making me the way she wanted. She really was out of her mind.
“Excuse me~”
Chloe approached and leaned over me. I twisted my body desperately, trying to shake off her touch.
“Don’t!! Don’t heal me!!”
I had to die from blood loss just like this. This pain definitely wasn’t the end. I had to die before it got any worse.
“If you don’t heal him quickly, I’ll kill you first.”
Saren pressed her sword against Chloe’s throat.
“She says so, you know?”
“Chloe!!”
“Ugh, just stay still!! Jeez, what a grown man, making such a fuss over thiiiiiiis—!!”
While she was speaking, Chloe let out a bloodcurdling scream. At some point, Saren’s massive sword had deeply impaled her thigh.
“You lowly bitch, how dare you raise your voice to a noble? To my brother? Do you want to die?”
“Y-you crazy bitch…!!!”
“Oh dear, there you go again?”
Chloe bit her lip hard while glaring at Saren. She had bitten down so fiercely that blood trickled down her chin. But Saren’s expression didn’t change in the slightest as she casually twitched the sword in her hand.
“Are you going to stand up? If I move my hand even a little, your leg will fall right off, you know?”
“Yeah, go ahead and try. Let’s see whether you cut faster or I reattach faster. Aren’t you curious?”
“Not really.”
I was completely dumbfounded. Why were they suddenly fighting each other…?