The Warmth of Shared Bottles
I stared at the beer bottle Charlotte was holding, my thoughts drifting. It felt so warm.
“Miss Charlotte, are you truly planning to steal now?!”
“Th-thieving? What an impertinent remark. I purchased it with legitimate funds.”
“You had money, yet... what the...?! Are you actually picking my pocket for the change?!”
“Ah... I’m starting to wonder how much more I can take this.”
Charlotte shook her head and murmured to herself.
“I left one gold coin from the inventory behind. That should cover a few drinks, right?”
“Even if that’s true, we’re not even adults yet...”
“You were an adult before I reincarnated. You’re not actually a minor, are you?”
“No. I was certainly an adult.”
“Then it’s fine.”
Charlotte’s seductive expression softened as she shook the beer bottle lightly.
“Let’s relax a little after a long day.”
“Ahaha, I’ve never really tried drinking before.”
“So, you won’t drink it?”
“Of course not. I couldn’t refuse a glass from Miss Charlotte.”
“Good. But if we just drink it openly like this, we might get interrupted again. Ah, come here.”
Charlotte opened a gap in the curtains and beckoned me over with her hand before stepping forward.
I followed her through the opening behind her.
“Here, no one should be able to find us.”
“Indeed. I doubt anyone will come looking.”
We had climbed to the roof of some building.
“Well, sit here... Ah, no cups. Just wait a moment.”
Charlotte opened another gap in the curtains, reached inside, rummaged around, and soon pulled out two cups.
While she slowly poured the beer, I unwrapped each snack I had bought from the convenience store.
“Here you go.”
I took the cup from her.
“Ugh... I’m a little nervous.”
“Why? Huh? Were you actually planning some clumsy mistake just to use the drink as an excuse?”
Charlotte laughed with a snort.
“Haha, if I had any impure thoughts toward Miss Charlotte, my head would fly off on the spot, and I know that better than anyone.”
“You certainly do. Then what exactly are you nervous about?”
“...It’s been three years since I last drank.”
I smiled awkwardly and slowly poured the beer down my throat.
The only thing I tasted was the bitterness; there was no sense of enjoyment.
“Three years? Considering it’s only been two months since I reincarnated, that’s still just two months, right? You mean you haven’t touched a drop in nearly three years? Ah, what a pity.”
Charlotte frowned in confusion as she took a sip of beer.
“Ah, it’s good~ Come on, drink fast. Bottoms up~”
“Interesting. I was worried you might already be drunk.”
“What are you saying. I’m really strong with alcohol?”
“To~”
Our cups clinked together with a refreshing sound.
“...Kraa~! It’s so cold!”
Charlotte closed her eyes for a moment and swayed her feet.
I took another gulp of the beer.
Still bitter.
“You really can’t drink, can you? Your face always scrunches up like that when you try to finish it.”
“I never really drank when I was on Earth.”
“Um... that’s strange. Normally people drink to forget hard times, but you... Were you not from a wealthy family before reincarnation?”
It seemed she remembered what I’d said about my difficult home life before.
“I mean, there must have been hard times even if you lived comfortably.”
“Of course. There were so many difficult moments.”
“Then why didn’t you drink?”
Charlotte asked carefully.
I swirled the beer and stared into the distance as I answered.
“...Other people say they like to drink because it lets them sink into old memories.”
“Exactly. You recall good past memories and forget the pain of today for a while. You must have had some nice memories from when you were little.”
“Of course. I had good memories too. Mostly the times I spent with my mother and father. Those memories were what kept me alive back then.”
The days I spent with them were truly radiant and peaceful.
Those memories from that era were so beautiful that once I slipped into them, I never wanted to wake up.
“...It was truly a happy time, but every ending has its start, right?”
That was why I was so afraid to revisit those happy memories.
When I thought of the joyful times with my parents, the moment we parted came to mind as well.
The terrible curse I’d hurled at them kept strangling my breath.
I hate drinking.
“It’s a pity I’m such a filial son that I couldn’t part with my parents on good terms.”
“........”
“Haha, from your reaction, it seems you’re dying to hear the rest of the story.”
“I-is that so? But I don’t think it’s right to ask directly about such things...”
Charlotte muttered while looking off into the distance.
Her expression was strangely cute, so I let out a soft laugh and shrugged.
“Well, the story is sensitive, so I don’t want to share it lightly, but since it’s with Miss Charlotte, it’s different. Still, you mustn’t tell anyone, okay?”
I never thought I’d be saying this to another person directly.
“When I was fifteen, my parents passed away. They were healthy with no illnesses, but just like that, both of them were gone.”
“....Why?”
Charlotte asked carefully, and I answered with a bitter smile.
“I killed them.”
“........”
I am a murderer.
“It was a dark day. We had fought badly that day, and I was so bold I declared I was running away without thinking about how scary the world was.”
I curse it.
“Before leaving, I looked at my parents with trembling eyes and spewed out the most pitiful words.”
I curse my stupid past self endlessly.
“Something like ‘I hope Mom and Dad disappear.’ Haha, even saying it again, it’s a horrific line.”
If I had matured a bit more, this tragedy would never have happened.
“At this point, Miss Charlotte should be able to guess. My parents came out of the house looking for me, and that day they died in a traffic accident.”
I was the worst filial son in the world, a selfish man who didn’t care about others, and a fool who never considered the consequences of his actions.
“So, I am nothing more than a murderer who killed my own parents.”
You bastard.
“That’s why I hate alcohol. When I recall happy memories, the filthy body that ruined them disgusts me. It feels like my shameful true self is exposed for all to see.”
If I drank to become happy, I’d only have to watch the scene of my foolish past self making mistakes without making a sound, and I could never be happy.
“Well, that’s it. It’s a bit trite to set the mood with such a heavy story before talking, but after all this length just to explain why I don’t drink, I hope Miss Charlotte isn’t bored...”
I unconsciously got lost in my thoughts and didn’t notice Charlotte’s reaction.
She must be bored. Such depressing stories are easy to come across if you just scroll a bit on the internet.
Was I ruining the atmosphere after all? I was starting to worry.
“You... you idiot?”
“Ye... yes?”
Charlotte’s trembling voice made me naturally turn toward her.
“You... you always blame everything on yourself. Do you know how stubborn that is?”
Her eyes were reddening as she continued.
Thinking about it... it seemed she was right.
Ever since I lost my parents, I had lived thinking that every misfortune that happened to me came from my own actions.
If it rained on the way home, it was my fault for not bringing an umbrella. If a rude customer came to my part-time job, it was my fault for not serving them properly.
And most of all, if anything happened to Charlotte, Shina, Chloe, or Elise, I blamed it entirely on myself for getting close to them.
“But what’s the bigger problem? They’re just suffering alone while wallowing in self-blame without telling anyone.”
“.....That’s right. My faults are correct, aren’t they.”
There was no doubt that I was the one who pushed my parents to the edge of death.
It was because of me, and because of who I became, that both of them lost their lives.
“Yes. Maybe it really is your fault. But listen...”
Charlotte looked me in the eyes and said.
“You don’t have to suffer alone.”
A clear tear had formed at the corner of her beautiful eyes.
“If it’s hard, say it’s hard. If you’re sad, say you’re sad. If you’re angry, say you’re angry. If you’re anxious, say you’re anxious. Everyone lives like that.”
“But, the only person who can accept this dark emotion of mine...”
I never had anyone like that in my entire life—
“I’ll be it for you.”
Charlotte took my hand.
“Back when we made up, I also vented to you. So, if there’s anything you want to tell me, feel free to speak up anytime.”
It’s warm.
“So, please smile, you idiot.”
A single transparent tear slid down her eyes.
“I’ll cry for you.”