The Weight of Gazes

“Make sure you watch out, and definitely call me!”

Lee Yurim’s shout draws eyes from all around us.

“What’s up with that voice...”

“Must be his girlfriend.”

“Isn’t he better looking than that guy?”

‘Are you kidding me?’

Feeling jealous of a guy is a terrible sensation. They’re evaluating me among themselves, but who exactly are these guys? I turned my head toward the source of the noise, but the moment I saw their faces, I instinctively recoiled.

“Ahem...”

A guy who looks like a Malayan sun bear is asking if he’s better looking than me—how am I supposed to look at him? I felt like something bad would happen if I actually picked a fight, so I turned my head back.

‘Scary as hell.’

I started to miss Lee Yurim. With her large breasts and legs that were perfectly shaped for her height, having her claim me as her man and protect me from the side was as reassuring as it gets.

‘She was so damn cute.’

She sticks to my side and pretends to be my girlfriend, but the moment I actually approach her, she freezes like a stone. Then, she bites her lip, nods her head, and tells me to call her after I finish the exam... It feels like she’s planning to skip out halfway through.

I sat there, chin in my hand, thinking about Lee Yurim.

‘Has the aggro died down?’

Since I stayed still, the chaotic atmosphere settled down a bit. Though, it was still the same—girls from far away would point at me, or pass by me for no reason just to get a look.

“Your gaze, it’s uncomfortable.”

“Ah, yeah, yeah. Sorry...”

I said that one line and turned my head. I couldn't just accept their attention; my standards had skyrocketed overnight.

It was a little while later that the teacher in charge brought the test papers.

“First period is English, second is Math. Everyone turned off their electronic devices, right?”

I was relieved it was only two subjects.

“The person in the very front, once you receive the papers, hold onto them until the bell rings, then pass them back and start. No, don’t pass them yet.”

“Yes? Ah... yes, yes.”

The student who was about to pass them back hesitated. Even if we’ve become adults, do we still get all flustered when we’re in the role of a student? To be honest, the desk and chair I was sitting in were so uncomfortable it was hard to focus.

‘Why are the chair and desk attached?’

I shifted my waist, but it didn't get any more comfortable. I hope the other classrooms don't use desks like this. It’s truly ergonomic.

‘Still, a real man doesn’t care.’

A master doesn’t blame his tools. A hero doesn’t study. I planned to start solving the problems the moment the bell rang.

Ding-dong-dang-dong-

The test paper came across from the front seat. It was a girl, but she didn’t stretch her arm out far enough, so it didn’t reach me.

‘Being short is a sorrow.’

I lifted my butt slightly, and only then did my hand reach it. I swung my hand as if to snatch it to get the paper quickly.

“H-h-heugh...”

As soon as my hand touched it, she made a strange sound and wouldn’t let go of the paper. She hunched her shoulders and her voice trembled; her bangs were long, covering her face. I waved my hand to urge her to give me the paper.

“Give it to me quickly.”

“Sorry...”

The girl kept her head bowed while clutching her own hand, but I was in a hurry. Just as I was about to sigh, the girl jumped in surprise, and only then did she lift her butt and stretch out her arm.

The test paper placed on the desk. I stood up, bracing myself on the chair to pass it to the person behind me.

“Here you go.”

“Thank you. Hehehe.”

She saw my face, the corners of her mouth went up, and she covered them with her hand. But now was exam time. I immediately turned my back and stared at the test paper on my desk.

‘Just, well, it’ll be easy, right?’

Is this world really implemented in such detail? I caught my breath, and for some reason, I felt at ease. I loosened up my body once, and with a comfortable heart, I unfolded the test paper.

‘Alright, let’s go.’

*

“...”

Uh, well...

Even after the exam was over, I held my face and kept my head bowed.

A feast of super-long sentences and difficult vocabulary starting from question number one.

‘Is this for real?’

I had been thinking idly, ‘Even if I’m not good at studying, won’t someone take me in?’, but I just sighed and shook my head.

‘...Should I at least join a study group?’

The other people were solving it well. Throughout the exam, I had to cover my ears because of the sound of others flipping their papers. Shhh-shhh-shhh... The painful memory made me shudder, and my body trembled.

I clicked my tongue and was about to pack my things and get up, but a shadow formed around me. I turned my head, and a few girls had surrounded me.

“Excuse me.”

“...I’m busy.”

I glanced at their faces, waved my hand, and slipped out.

‘Yurim, I miss you.’

It hasn’t even been that long since we parted, but I miss her intensely. Still, since I’ve finished the exam, I should send her a text and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠wait here. I reached for my phone to contact Lee Yurim, then hesitated.

The surroundings were buzzing, and the crowd was splitting down the middle.

Creak...

It was a girl in a wheelchair. The sunlight was pouring through the window, making it dazzling. I squinted my eyes and looked at the girl.

‘Silver hair?’

Her hair color was unique. She had a pale, sickly impression. But before I could even see her features clearly, she passed by me, and the hallway was once again crowded with people.

‘What was that?’

I stood still, lost in thought due to a sense of déjà vu. But I don’t remember ever seeing a girl like that. I stared blankly at the other side of the hallway where the girl had disappeared.

“Hmm...”

My head feels foggy. Since I can’t recall anything, it must just be my imagination. I shook my head and pulled out my phone again.

‘I should send a text.’

I unlocked it and tapped the screen.

I sent the text coolly. It was a text lacking any aegyo, not very manly, but conversely, Lee Yurim replied immediately like a woman.

‘She’s fast.’

I have a feeling she was waiting for me to send a text. Was she just holding her phone the whole time instead of studying? That’s the only way she could have replied so quickly.

And the speed at which eyes turned toward me just for standing there for a moment was also fast. A girl approached me and stuck her head out in front of me.

“Excuse me?”

“Yes?”

I met her golden eyes. A girl with a light tan. She had beige hair tied in a side-up ponytail.

‘An insider?’

Behind her, a group of girls was whispering while looking at us.

“Hey, hey, hey, she said it, ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠she said it.”

“Can she do it?”

“I bet she can’t.”

“If she can’t, what does that make us?”

They were making some kind of bet among themselves. The girl who approached me looked over there ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and made a ‘ugh’ sound.

“Why did you call me?”

“That, your number...”

She hesitated, so I raised an eyebrow and waited. Then she tapped her cheek and shook her head. This time, she smiled and poured out words as lively as she looked.

“Hehe, if it’s okay, let’s exchange numbers. I took the exam today too, so if it’s not uncomfortable, maybe friends...”

“Sure.”

The girl with beige hair put her hand to her mouth as if surprised.

“R-really?”

“Here.”

It was just a feeling. It was the first time I’d had my number asked for since coming here, and the girl in front of me was as striking as Lee Yurim.

‘She’s really happy.’

Her eyes went wide, and she was grinning while putting in my number. Behind her, the girls were squealing. Fortunately, the women in this world don’t just laugh with gravelly voices.

‘If they did, that would have been a huge turn-off...’

Far away, Lee Yurim was approaching with the momentum to crush the girls surrounding me.

“Yang Dajuuun!”

She came running, parting the people gathered in the hallway; she did it before the exam, and she was drawing attention with her voice again. Naturally, people looked back and forth between me and Lee Yurim. It was fortunate that the girls who got my number took the hint and left.

“Haa, haa, Yang Dajuuun...”

“You’re going to run out of breath.”

“Those girls, what are those girls!”

It was my childhood friend, who was suspiciously angry.

“It’s nothing.”

“What do you mean, they came in a swarm and were all over you?”

“I just gave them my number.”

Number?

You gave your number to a girl you don’t know?

Lee Yurim’s expression turned scary.

“Why are you like this...”

“You gave them your number, what if something happens to you?”

“I’m sorry...”

I apologized first. She’s seriously scary. I thought she was just a cute puppy, but she has a side like this too. Lee Yurim put her hands on her hips, looked at me, and let out a sigh.

“Haa, forget it.”

“I’m really sorry...”

“It’s fine, what would you know...”

Lee Yurim waved her hand. What was she thinking as she resigned herself? I’m curious about what’s inside her head.

‘Ah.’

I need to figure out my own head, too. I smiled broadly and brought up the exam to Lee Yurim.

“More than that, the exam today was super hard, right?”

“It was hard?”

“Yeah. From number one, it was something else.”

“Is that so?”

Lee Yurim’s expression became serious. Whether the objective difficulty was easy or hard, if it was difficult for me to solve, I had to come up with a countermeasure.

‘Ah, should I just not study?’

I could probably live a fun life just by showing my face. Even in this short moment, all sorts of thoughts were tempting me. The one who saved me from that was, as expected, Lee Yurim. She let out a groan and snapped her fingers as if she understood.

“Ah, then we should at least do a study group.”

“With who?”

“Me. Call?”

“Call.”

There was nothing to hesitate about. Lee Yurim was also happy and clapped her hands together. Is hanging out with me that good? It feels like I gave her what she wanted too easily, so I feel like playing a prank.

Lee Yurim asked me, unaware of my intentions.

“Where should we do it?”

“That’s a good question.”

I made a stuck-up expression and gave a trivial answer. Lee Yurim looked at me, twisted her hair, and tapped the floor. She was fidgeting with her lips, just watching me, but when I made a bored expression, she finally spoke to me.

“Hey, don’t... don’t take this the wrong way?”

“Speak.”

“If you have nowhere else to go...”

Options appeared before my eyes. Lee Yurim was in the middle of speaking.

‘Is he a crazy bastard?’

Asking if she doesn’t want to study me—it was still too burdensome for me to say, so I chose the safe one.

▷ “Obviously, we should go to the Toju Reading Room.”

I cut off Lee Yurim and made the first move.

“Let’s go to the Toju Reading Room and do it. Group study is allowed there.”

“Ah...”

Lee Yurim’s shoulders slumped.

‘Hehe, you’re disappointed.’

But I know exactly what Lee Yurim was expecting.

Since she went through the trouble of escaping self-study to come pick me up, I decided to stop the pranks here. I let out a laugh and said,

“I’m joking.”

“Eh?”

Lee Yurim lifted her head with a jerk.

“Let’s go to your place and do it. That’s fine, right?”

“O... obviously? I-it’s fine!”

Lee Yurim was so excited at the thought of doing it at her place that she was creaking.

“Hehehe...”

‘She’s cute.’

*

The streets outside the school were full of people gathering in twos and threes after the exam.

The colder the wind blew, the more they fussed and clamored.

We decided to go home and rest today as well. We decided to stop by a café on the way. Walking with Lee Yurim, we set our study schedule.

“Let’s try it for about a week starting tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

Lee Yurim is good at studying, so I trust her. She said let’s catch the basics while doing it for a week, and she didn’t leave my side even while we were walking and talking. She was acting like a girlfriend.

“Why are you sticking so close?”

“Yang Dajun, living heater, warm. Hehehe.”

“Aing...”

Why don’t you just hug me? If Lee Yurim were to gather that much courage, it would be faster for me to step up.

Even now, I can see her hesitating because she wants to hold hands, but there’s still a long way to go.

‘She’s acting like this, but isn’t she thinking something naughty in her heart?’

Since she hasn’t even confessed in over ten years and stayed as a childhood friend, it’s highly likely she’s a pure-love type.

On the other hand, my younger sister Yang Dami was a total pain in the ass.

Buzz.

Buzz.

I ignored the text from earlier, and my phone wouldn’t stop ringing.

‘Ah, this girl?’

I opened my phone, and the notifications were piled up, it was a total mess.

“Ugh...”

Why do you nag so much, seriously.

Usually, a younger sister hates her older brother, but there probably aren’t many families that nag this much.

I was debating whether to reply, but for some reason, it felt like someone was watching from the side.

‘What is it?’

I glanced at Lee Yurim, and she was peeking at me using my phone. When I turned my head to the side, she turned hers too and pretended nothing happened.

I hid my phone in my arms and said,

“What are you looking at?”

“I wasn’t looking.”

‘Hehe...’

I’m hearing this phrase a lot today.

Lee Yurim looked elsewhere and whistled as if nothing had happened.

Still, it doesn’t feel bad. If I think about it from my perspective, it’s because a girl is interested in a guy and is curious about what he’s doing on his phone.

‘Seriously, I definitely need to get eaten up.’

How would a girl who’s so restless around me act if she lost her mind? It’s a thing of the future, but my heart was already pounding.

*

The café Lee Yurim took me to was a local hotspot where men and women come to date.

Under the golden lighting, a pretty exterior decorated with cute mini-tiles and deep navy blue.

Seeing a couple enter with their arms linked, I glared at Lee Yurim. Lee Yurim avoided my gaze and pretended to be busy with something else, as if she didn’t know it was a place like this.

“Why, what, what is it.”