Lunaris, Get Out If You Don't Want to Die
We had entered Helheim. The reason was simple.
“My body’s already burning up.”
It was to gauge this crazy bitch’s true abilities. A fight between Seria and Riana could have gone either way. If we kept wasting time, we’d never learn their full strength, so I decided to toss them into a suitably dangerous place. That was my conclusion.
Come on, it’s not like they’d actually die from something like this. I simply needed an accurate assessment. All I had to do was watch with my own eyes how they fought without holding back. Adding a woman who got sexually aroused from being beaten like some kind of pervert made me a little uneasy about putting her in the party.
On the flip side, if I excluded her, there weren’t many useful applicants left. Even though I didn’t like it… I was planning to accept her into the party.
“…It’s creepy.”
“Haha. But aren’t you used to it by now?”
“That familiarity is exactly what makes it shitty.”
Every time Riana and I traded this pointless banter, Seria’s face twisted. She genuinely believed that this rag of a woman who seduced the hero with her lewd body deserved to be trapped in Helheim forever.
“…Tsk.”
I clicked my tongue and kicked her in the ass.
“Kyaaang!”
Goddammit! Seria stewed in a mix of regret and fury.
I slowly lifted my gaze to the sky. Purple Void Energy blanketed everything overhead. This was a land of death where even the burning sunlight couldn’t reach. The creatures that sensed living energy began to writhe. They scanned their surroundings, searching for our position.
I stretched out my hand toward the void eyeball flying at me and crushed it.
Crack.
The eyeball burst apart and vanished in a puff of black smoke. Slimy innards coated my palm.
“Ugh… Disgusting.”
They’d already noticed us? With nothing but void eyeballs? It brought to mind the traces of the void gradually encroaching on Midgard. At the same time, I remembered the baby void serpents born from Jormungandr’s scales. Sure enough, they had grown fiercer and their senses had sharpened.
If this were a game, it felt like I’d been playing on normal difficulty and the game had suddenly bumped it up a notch. The difference wasn’t huge, but watching the void energy slowly invade Midgard still left a heavy feeling in my chest.
After walking a little farther, I stopped. In the distance, void giant soldiers were tearing into Hel Hounds. The brutal, savage sight made me click my tongue, but it was all too familiar.
Seria looked like she might throw up and dry-heaved. Still, she had to endure it. Traveling with me meant she would see far worse things than this.
And then—
“Riana. Go.”
“…Hm?”
“Kill those giants and come back. It was in the subjugation records, so this much should be doable, right?”
Riana let out a snort and shook her shoulders with laughter.
“Puhahaha! And here I thought it was something serious. Yeah, no problem.”
She kissed the bone necklace around her neck and quietly prayed to Odin. A warrior who had sworn to live as one wished to die as one. Of course she wasn’t actually going to die, but there was always that ‘what if.’ Above all, this was simply their culture. To those who worshipped Odin most fiercely, it was an act that invited divine favor.
“Then I’ll be off.”
“Go on.”
Now then… let’s see what her real skills look like.
“Hahaha…”
…Yeah, I was the idiot for thinking that.
“Haha… hahaha… Fuck this shit.”
No, the idiot was the version of me that had actually gotten his hopes up.
Honestly, her skills themselves weren’t bad. They were on par with Ragner’s. The problem was that this crazy woman was enjoying getting beaten by the giants.
The void creatures born from the souls of dead giants were strong. Even I had struggled against them a year ago. When they stomped the ground, boom, massive clouds of dirt and sand blinded you. Their enormous greatswords and clubs slammed down hard enough to shatter the earth. That was the kind of monsters they were.
Riana, who danced around and fought creatures like that, was impressive.
Yeah. Impressive. Because that ‘dancing around’ was exactly what she enjoyed.
“Good! Hit me harder!”
Oh gods. Are you watching? Look at me bravely facing a powerful enemy!
“Ugh… ♥”
She was impressive in every possible sense of the word.
Was that all? Riana swung an axe as massive as her own body and smashed the heads of any giant that wasn’t tormenting her enough.
Crunch!
Flesh exploded outward, staining the stone pillars black.
“You call yourselves giants? Insult me properly!”
She drove them on, and the giants reluctantly kicked her in the ass. They were putting everything they had into it, trembling the whole time. The reason was simple. They were terrified.
A mere human—not even a hero—had killed one of their comrades. So they had no choice but to look at the insane woman and keep playing along while hurling insults. Some were so scared they were pissing themselves. It was almost pitiful.
“…Huh.”
“S-Should we head back?”
Even Seria wore an expression of pure disbelief, too stunned for jealousy. She clearly wanted to leave, but I decided to watch a little longer.
B-But! If not now, when would I learn how to toy with void giants? It actually looks kind of fun.
The reason I felt that way was simple. They were huge, so ‘that place’ was huge too. It was more than enough to trigger my inferiority complex. After the goblins, the second thing that truly shocked me was these void giant soldiers. Those crazy bastards. Could that even fit inside someone? That was how big they were.
“…Ptui.”
I suddenly felt irritated and spat.
It wasn’t ordinary spit. It was a curse wrapped in mockery.
Before long Riana returned after wiping out every void creature in the area. She approached drenched in blood, smiling brightly. Her skin seemed to glow with even more vitality. Was that just my imagination?
Anyway, her skills were proven. Recruitment confirmed.
“…I don’t like her.”
Seria muttered. I let out a sigh too. If it wasn’t Riana, there were basically no other viable candidates. So if we could accept this level of risk, she would definitely be useful. At least she wasn’t obsessed with women like Ragner had been.
Riana was the kind of woman who didn’t care whether her partner was male or female. As long as they insulted her, that was enough. If she didn’t like someone, she could simply kill them. That was why she was such a bizarre, twisted woman who had risen to the ranks of the strong.
“…Ugh.”
“Why are you frowning? Do I… smell?”
“…Go wash as soon as we get back. The stench of blood on you is no joke.”
Riana suddenly trembled. What the hell? The reaction was so sudden and came from such an unexpected place that it felt weird.
And then I understood why.
“Pervert.”
Twitch. Twitch.
“I-If you think I’ll be happy to hear words like that, you’re sorely mistaken!”
“…Where exactly does that sound happy?”
Seria had struck first. I completely agreed with her. Even through the blood dripping off her, we could see her cheeks burning red.
“I don’t smell. On the contrary, with this scent I could insult you… Hng!?”
Wow… She’s seriously fucked up.
Even if I tried to understand an M tendency, it was impossible in reality. Even when reading erotic manga I always skipped the masochist parts. It just made no fucking sense.
And above all—
“…You just thought that wouldn’t be so bad right now, didn’t you?”
“No.”
“Yeah you did.”
“Hng…! I offered a tribute to Odin. Even if it smells, endure it.”
After a beat, her tone rose higher and higher.
“If you really can’t endure it… haa, haa… you can tell me honestly!”
No!
“Rather, be honest with me starting right now!”
I’d wondered what nonsense she was going to spout. The woman who placed a hand over her chest and spoke triumphantly clearly had a few screws loose. Please let that be the case.
With that thought, I started walking.
“Let’s go, Seria.”
“Yes, Hero.”
“Hng! Neglect play! This is also pretty—”
“Argh! Stop the bullshit and hurry up!”
Kyaht!
The road ahead looked incredibly rocky.
Haa…
After throwing Riana into the bathroom, I sat with Isabel flipping through documents, searching for anyone decent. About half the pile was left. And the only useful person we’d found in all of it was Riana. Well, they’d been desperate enough for talent to summon me in the first place, so I should have expected this.
The saying that high expectations lead to disappointment was correct. I was extremely disappointed right now.
“Hero. What about this person?”
“Ooh.”
I looked at the document Isabel handed over. It carried the characteristic softness of the trees that grew in Alfheim. I stroked the smooth paper and read the resume.
“Occupation is mage, top graduate of the Magic Tower…”
The career overlapped with someone else’s. A wave of unease hit me. Good skills, but the Magic Tower… Suspicion came first. Lunaris was the Magic Tower Master’s daughter. I knew plenty about her. We had traveled together for two years. Until just two weeks ago we had been looking each other in the eye.
Maybe that was why. To me, the Magic Tower—Lunaris’s family—couldn’t be trusted. I had probably paid for ten floors of that damn tower myself.
Fucking bitch. Even if I had nowhere else to spend the money.
I did well to run away.
I examined the document. The face was hidden. Covered with cloth? My suspicion only grew.
“Hmm…”
I slowly recited the runes and read the text. The self-introduction below had a different format but similar content. It reminded me of the old days. Writing those things had always been such a headache. It brought back memories of my first job interview—the trembling newbie who stuttered through every sentence. Nostalgic, but a feeling I never wanted to experience again.
Places where people live are the same no matter what world you’re in.
Isabel was sticking close to my side, so a pleasant scent kept brushing my nose. She wasn’t conscious of it. But the moment our eyes met, her face flushed like a gradient and she quickly looked away.
“Ahem!”
“Haha… It’s hot in here, isn’t it?”
I cleared my throat. Isabel spoke up. I could tell I was gradually becoming conscious of both Seria and Isabel. Troublesome.
“…The reason her face is covered is because she’s a seer, it says.”
She continued.
“Those ugly people who burn out their eyes and cover the sockets with flesh?”
“Yes. Her subjugation record isn’t bad, but the blindness is a flaw.”
“Still, we should at least call her in.”
Her subjugation record was similar to Riana’s. That meant she had trained her skills while enduring physical disability. She was a mage anyway. Riana, Seria, and I would handle the front line. Above all, as a prophet she should be able to predict enemy movements.
And now was the perfect time. Seria had gone to the bathroom with Riana, so there would be no interference. She hated bringing women into the party, after all.
But what can you do? The useful applicant I’d chosen just happened to be a woman. The Saintess could return to the temple. The one chosen this generation was Fina, but she had already been stripped of her position.
I believe in you, Odin. Please pick a proper human this time.
Organizing my thoughts, I called out the name.
“Luna!”
Huh? Similar name. Must be my imagination.
That thought lasted only a moment. A woman wearing a black robe that covered both her body and face approached.
“Hello.”
“You’re the prophet, correct?”
“Yes.”
A snort escaped me. My suspicion ballooned, and hearing her voice made me certain. At the same time, my eyebrows furrowed.
It was exactly what I thought, but I needed confirmation. So I said,
“Can you prove you’re a seer?”
“…Pardon?”
“Show me your face.”
If she really wasn’t the fucking bitch I was thinking of, she would obediently reveal it. If she kept denying it to the end, the odds were high it was Lunaris.
“…It’s hideous. It would be better if you didn’t—”
“Do you think I’ve only met one or two prophets? Just show me already.”
The more ruined the face, the wider the future one could see.
“So hurry up.”
“….Yes.”
I saw her grit her teeth. She really hadn’t wanted to be found out?
“Hah.”
Why hide it when it was so obvious? The two years we spent together weren’t like some neighborhood dog. To me, those two years had truly felt like living in Helheim.
“Long time no see.”
“…Long time no see, Taesik.”
“What’s the point of covering your eyes and body with a robe?”
Seriously, who the hell do you take me for? If you’re going to change your name, at least do it properly. Luna? What the hell is Luna?
“Hey, Lunaris. Didn’t you hear what Ragner said?”
“…Taesik.”
“Get out.”
Lunaris, get out if you don’t want to die.
“P-Please, just listen to me once!”
“Get out. You’re not moving?”
If that’s how it’s going to be, I have my own methods.
I shouted at the top of my lungs.
“Lunaris the exile is heeeere!!”
“T-Taesik?!”
“Puhuhu. Over here! Right here!”
People began to gather. Every gaze turned toward Lunaris.
Let’s see you get fucked over. I once couldn’t even set foot in the country either.
Kyaak. Ptui. You seductive bitch.