Chapter 5
Chapter 5
-----------------------------------------------------------------
Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 5
Chapter Title: Return-4
-----------------------------------------------------------------
This world was revolting where it was revolting, and boring where it was boring. It didn't take long before I needed to find something new to do.
Still, I didn't want to meet people. I hated having to awkwardly explain who I was every time I ran into someone. And even that wasn't the full truth—I had to dodge and weave whenever they asked questions I couldn't answer easily.
Besides, I couldn't stand how every passerby praised the Hero's party's feats.
They had accomplished something incredible, no doubt. But to me, those were memories I wanted to forget.
All the talk about how nice their personalities were, how polite and kind they acted—it rang utterly hollow.
I couldn't just blurt out the truth in front of them, detailing every awful thing those people had done. It only left me frustrated.
In the end, the place I found was the library. The Imperial Library barred outsiders, but it was always open to formal guests of the palace.
Even dry books full of nothing but facts were entertaining, and the heroic tales of past Heroes were decent enough reads.
But today, I ran into an unwelcome guest.
"There you are, Porter."
It was the Saintess. We'd spent years together, so I recognized her voice the instant she called out.
But I didn't want to respond. Just looking at her face would sour my mood, so I kept my head buried in my book.
"You didn't come to the celebration party. I was a little hurt!"
"I was there."
"You were? Hmm, well, being the porter probably made it hard to stick around with everyone... Still, you worked so hard. Thank you."
I couldn't see her face, but she was probably smiling brightly as always.
Come to think of it, even when I hated her most, she always spoke so sweetly. It was her actions I despised.
I glanced up slightly, and her white priestess robes caught my eye. Mystical garments that turned pristine white again with a single prayer, even after the fiercest battles.
"Still, doesn't being alone get lonely? Let's all get together for a meal. Nerwen's still here, and if we ask, Elenor will surely come too!"
"It'd just make things more awkward with me there."
"Aw, no one thinks that. They might've been rough on you, Porter, but deep down, they were thinking of you..."
I hated how she glossed over everything with flimsy words like "you worked so hard" or "deep down."
"I'm the one who's uncomfortable."
"Eh? Are you still feeling unwell? If so, let me cast a healing spell on you..."
"No. I just don't like it."
I didn't want to talk anymore. That should have gotten the point across, so I turned back to my book.
But I didn't hear her leave.
"Why... why not?"
"..."
She'd seen it all with her own eyes. She was one of the perpetrators.
I saw no need to spell out my pain and hatred for them to someone who'd witnessed it firsthand but felt nothing.
I closed the book and stood. Her face, glimpsed in passing, looked genuinely clueless.
Unfortunately, this library didn't allow borrowing. I quietly slotted the book back into place.
"Even if you're upset, talking it out might help..."
If it could be resolved with talk, it would have been long ago. I'd tried for years and failed.
"I-I'll talk to Elenor and make sure you get the proper reward you deserve!"
I'm someone who's leaving. If the Empire had prepared enough, I wouldn't still be stuck in this hellish world.
Piles of gold, beauties, elixirs—none of it mattered to me.
The fact that I hadn't snapped at her voice alone meant I'd held my temper well.
I left her shouting something from afar and returned to my room, abandoning her in the library.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ In a mystical chamber where stained glass filtered radiant colors of light, a girl knelt in prayer.
The heart of the capital's grand cathedral—a place layfolk might visit once or twice in a lifetime, and even high priests couldn't treat like home.
The seat closest to the Goddess, where the divine promised to heed every prayer uttered.
Yet no one stopped the girl. With the Hero having slain the Demon King, she was undoubtedly the one nearest to the divine now.
"Goddess..."
The Saintess, Celia, knelt reverently before the gleaming statue of the Goddess.
"The Porter seems really angry. What should I do...?"
At first, they had all been so harmonious. In her eyes, the kindest among them was the Porter.
He handled any chore without complaint. Useless in combat, yet tagging along as an ordinary man must have been exhausting.
In the early days of the adventure, he'd never lost his smile. Watching him gradually wear down over time had pained her heart.
He'd carried her luggage in her stead and guarded their rear while she prayed. Wishing happiness for all was only natural.
"We fought so hard to live happily together..."
After the adventure ended, she'd met the others. Nerwen, Elenor, Pashier—they'd all relaxed, basking in victory and joy.
But now, there were no boundaries to guard. He should have joined the feast here, yet he seemed to have vanished.
"I saw him today, and he hates the others. How can we make peace?"
But nothing came to mind. The Saintess felt a strange disconnect.
"Please answer me..."
Direct words from the Goddess were rare, but as Saintess, she could at least sense faint traces of the divine will or emotions.
Her holy power flowed normally. In this sacred place, disconnection from the Goddess was unthinkable.
Yet the Goddess offered no response, merely leaving her there.
Assuming her sincerity fell short, the Saintess adjusted her posture and resumed her prayer.
◇◇◇◆◇◇◇ Running into the Saintess at the library had soured my mood considerably.
The outside world hadn't darkened yet, but my head throbbed and my eyes grew heavy. I extinguished the lights and slipped into bed.
The plush quilt covering my eyes felt unbelievably comfortable compared to rough blankets.
"I thought I'd just keep waiting like this forever..."
At the start, I'd assumed I wouldn't need to join the adventure.
But about a week after the Hero set out, the Emperor suddenly summoned me.
"You won't need to fight yourself, but at least open the doors for them. I didn't expect this, but... no choice now."
The continent teemed with powerhouses. Most could crush a fledgling Hero in seconds—anyone but the Demon King himself at the final stretch.
Yet the trials the Goddess prepared for the Hero could only be unlocked by the Hero herself.
The barriers erected by the Demon King required the Hero, blessed by the Goddess, to dispel.
So I was dragged around constantly, opening doors for them.
Near the Empire, I didn't need to follow the party for dungeon clears, but we soon entered the Demon King's territory.
After that, I handled every chore for the party. Simple cooking and cleaning, of course, but also lugging gear and standing night watches—all the minutiae.
It started half because I wanted to. Idly watching them fight from afar pricked my conscience.
The work was manageable. The others even respected me somewhat for taking it on.
But as battles intensified and tensions rose, I became the first target.
The Mage sought efficiency; the Saintess adhered to the Goddess's doctrines.
Follow the Saintess's orders, and the Mage called me a fool wasting effort; obey the Mage, and the Saintess warned of divine wrath.
The Archer had disliked my "scent" from the start, but at least phrased it gently early on.
As fights dragged on and time together stretched, she treated me like filth.
I couldn't like it. With no one else around, there was nowhere to seek solace.
Eventually, the Saintess casually woke me for her night watch shifts to pray instead.
To replenish her spent holy power—it was hard to argue. Battles were that precarious, and my efforts kept the party safe.
But soon, my sacrifices became expected. Like daily routine, everyone demanded them.
I could barely walk. Mistakes and lapses in focus were inevitable.
Any delay drew the Mage's ire; any monster scratch brought the Hero's "training"—a beating.
And I endured. As always, because it felt right.
Now, though? I'm not sure anymore. I'm too worn out to tell right from wrong.
Tonight, too, I couldn't return to Earth.