Chapter 12
Chapter 12
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 12
Chapter Title: Refusal-3
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"F-Finally, we meet!"
The others flinched. The Saintess's voice rang out in the quiet library.
"Please be quiet."
"Ah, sorry. Was I too loud?"
It hadn't been long since I'd run into the Archer. She wasn't resorting to violence or verbal abuse like she used to with me before, but just seeing her face was enough to irritate me.
"Didn't I tell you we shouldn't meet anymore?"
"B-But..."
The looks from the others weren't friendly. I could understand that.
I'd probably react the same way if a pure-faced girl like the Saintess was rejected by a guy like me.
And it wasn't just her face. Her divine power proved her pure faith. Even without that, the Saintess's heart was undoubtedly pure.
"B-But, I want to make up..."
But that pure heart could turn into pure hatred or pure indifference depending on the situation.
"Is there something you need to apologize to me for?"
"Ah, um, well..."
Her apology was pure, too. Simple and one-dimensional.
She didn't even know what she'd done wrong herself. She was just bending over backward because I was angry, assuming it must be her fault somehow.
"Isn't reconciliation for when both sides are upset with each other?"
"W-Well..."
"It doesn't seem like you're upset with me, and I..."
I drew in a breath. I didn't think there was malice in the Saintess's heart, but I'd suffered plenty at her hands.
"I..."
Strength crept into my voice unbidden. I bit my lip hard.
But I could understand the things she'd put me through. And I didn't want to change her.
So, in the end, all I could say was...
"I'm not upset with you, Saintess."
The Saintess clenched her fists tightly, as if she couldn't back down just like that, and declared boldly.
"Then, how about dinner together just once..."
"No."
"Why, why not? You just said it was okay..."
"No."
Even so, I didn't want to build a good relationship with her.
Thinking "They must have had their reasons for punching me..." when someone slugs you is different from feeling upset every time you see them.
"The job's done, isn't it? Is there any reason we need to meet again?"
She'd had plenty of chances to eat with me if she wanted. We'd had ample time to talk, too.
"Even without a reason..."
"Saintess."
I had no desire to chat any further here.
I didn't want to invest emotions. I had no interest in revenge with negative feelings toward them, nor in forcing a reconciliation to make my last memories happy.
"I don't like you. You're not someone I enjoy meeting."
"W-What?"
I felt the onlookers' gazes grow more intrigued. A sigh escaped me naturally.
"I don't like you."
"D-Didn't you like me...?"
"Why would you think that?"
"Y-You treated me so well... You looked after me, said warm things..."
If she weren't the Saintess, anyone else would think her actions were all vile acting.
But considering the time I'd spent with her and her behavior, it wasn't an act.
She truly had no idea what she'd done wrong.
"I never liked you from the start. Later, I came to dislike you."
"Th-Then at least tell me why you dislike me!"
Honestly, I could just get up and storm out right now.
But she'd just come find me again, over and over.
And I couldn't keep dodging her in the library every time, so maybe it was better to send her away now.
"Do you plan to fix what I dislike?"
"Of course!"
Those were the eyes of someone who'd never been hated by anyone in her life.
"Remember that forest village before? The one near the waterfall."
"Y-Yes!"
"You asked me to have the villagers find a holy relic for you."
"I remember! I was so grateful then. Hehe... I kept it safe and stored it in the grand cathedral now. Want to go see it together?"
"You mobilized villagers suffering from the Demon King's invasion right then to search for a holy relic that might not even exist."
My words didn't sound good, and the Saintess's voice gradually grew quieter.
"It was important..."
"I know. It must have been important."
But I was the one who got resented.
I was the one who gathered starving people and made them scour the river in the biting cold of winter.
I was the one standing before the father's fury when a woman foraging for herbs without a hunter's help was mauled by wolves and fought for her life.
I knew it was absurd. Even saying it made my heart uneasy.
The Saintess had told me just to ask and rest, but that was impossible.
The whole party was already resting. If I, the one who'd mobilized them, lounged comfortably watching over them, their feelings were obvious.
I was the one who had to threaten resisting villagers that "the mage might do something."
"That was the censer Saint Marol used 700 years ago. The Papal Court ordered us to retrieve it specifically."
"I know. I can understand."
I just watched the Saintess protest in an aggrieved tone.
"And we needed it. Without it, we couldn't have held back the demon general we faced next. Every adventure would have failed, and everyone in that village could have died..."
"I know."
I couldn't say her judgment was wrong. At least in the Hero's party, no one was irrational.
The Archer's disgust for smells was the closest thing to irrational, but even she had her limits.
She wouldn't refuse sharing a tent with all five of us if it was truly necessary. In dire emergencies, she'd even carry me and run without complaint.
The Hero, the Mage, the Saintess—they were all like that. Most of their actions were necessary for the adventure.
"Those people are all children of the gods. The Hero's adventure, subjugating the Demon King—it's all the Goddess's will. Surely they'd accept it gladly..."
"They didn't."
Not everyone prioritizes the gods' will over their own lives and joys.
"Don't say that..."
The Saintess bit her lip. She seemed angry at me, but not because she thought she was wrong or couldn't accept my words.
She was just upset that I was disparaging the villagers who'd "kindly searched for the relic."
Refusing the gods' will is disloyal. But they'd faithfully aided the Hero's party adventure, proving their devotion through actions.
Me claiming here that "they weren't happy to serve the gods" was rude to the villagers from the Saintess's perspective.
"Did you meet them yourself?"
"Only the Goddess knows their hearts. You have no idea!"
So pure.
Of course she assumed they had to help the Goddess. And of course she believed they'd be glad. Because they were faithful, good children of the Goddess.
Even so, the holy relic case was one of the milder ones.
At least no one in the party opposed retrieving it, and it helped the journey.
But in her mind, "things that must be done" weren't always things the whole party agreed on.
Only the Saintess saw the Goddess's will as "something that absolutely must be done."
And every time, I'd relay her opinion to the Mage and get cursed at, then relay the Mage's to her and get treated like a demon.
Neither was what I wanted.
I'd wanted to let it slide quietly, but talking with her had drawn attention around us.
"Looks like reconciliation is impossible after all."
That didn't mean I could tell her to "become a heretic right now."
Setting aside her position and practical difficulties, the Goddess was more important to her than life itself.
Even if she miraculously listened and abandoned everything, I had no intention of taking responsibility for a former Saintess turned nobody.
So, ending it here was best. No need to get angry or demand an apology.
"Huh? Oh, oh!"
Only then did she seem to recall what we were talking about, covering her small mouth.
"Let's not push each other. I'm leaving anyway."
"A-Are you heading back to your territory? I didn't know you were nobility... You must be busy."
"...No real business, but yeah. Close enough."
"Even if it's hard now, someday for sure..."
"We won't meet."
The Saintess hung her head regretfully. But I couldn't be sure it was genuine.
She didn't seem to be deceiving me. But,
was she truly saying that because she wanted to be close with me?
Or was she just trying to create a "peaceful picture" because she thought the gods desired harmony?
The Saintess left, promising to meet again someday. I could only let out a deep sigh at the thought of seeing her face once more.