A Mortifying Memory

Vrrrrooooom—

The low, steady hum of the bus engine vibrated through the floorboards. Outside the window, the passing scenery was the very definition of desolate. Crumbling factories and hollowed-out ruins stood in broken rows, punctuated at regular intervals by the barbed-wire fences and fortified watchtowers of military encampments.

The bus was currently rolling through the Outer Defense Zone.

Following the cataclysmic invasion from beyond the dimensional rifts, humanity had partitioned municipal territories into three distinct rings. At the innermost heart lay the Special Administrative Zone. Clustered around the towering citadel of the Magic Tower, it housed City Hall alongside high-ranking government officials and corporate titans—the concentrated epicenter of urban authority.

Wrapped around that was the Living Convenience ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠Zone, the sprawling middle ring where registered citizens went about their daily lives amidst a dense tapestry of residential blocks and commercial districts.

And finally, the Outer Defense Zone.

Though technically recognized within city limits, no registered civilians lived there. Only garrisoned defense battalions held the perimeter, while unregistered drifters from the slums prowled the fringes like hollow ghosts. The further one strayed from the protective radiance of the Magic Tower, the bleaker the odds of human survival became; outside its warding field, dimensional erosion could warp reality without warning, leaving the border endlessly vulnerable to predatory monsters.

In the seat next to him, Chaeyi had been staring out the window, but the monotonous wasteland quickly proved too much for her heavy eyelids. Before long, her head slumped sideways in deep sleep. Considering she had been awake and buzzing since dawn, it was only natural.

A short while later, as Sihyeok sat gazing absently into the gray horizon, the bus windows suddenly flashed with a dull chime, turning completely opaque. The magic glass had engaged, cutting off the interior from the outside world.

"Huh? What happened?!"

"I can't see outside!"

A ripple of startled commotion broke out among the ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠children. Before panic could spread, a calm, automated voice drifted through the overhead speakers.

As the chime faded, the vehicle slowed, its heavy chassis bouncing as tires met rough gravel. Reinforced armor was an absolute legal requirement for any transport crossing unshielded wilderness. Though the transit through the Erosion Zone between Incheon and Seoul was brief—barely ten minutes—low-tier monsters occasionally assaulted passing convoys, threatening to shear through civilian frames.

Still, that was strictly an extreme precaution. Given the shortness of the corridor, military units maintained constant patrols along the dirt road, making actual breaches practically unheard of.

Crack! Bang-bang-bang! BOOOOM—!

Faint pops of rifle fire and muffled artillery rumbled in the distance. The border defense forces were evidently clearing out low-tier monsters that had drifted too close to the transit lane. Even then, the sounds were only perceptible if one strained their ears against the bus's heavy soundproofing.

Humanity went to such tedious lengths for a simple reason: ordinary mortals exposed directly to the visage of a monster suffered overwhelming dread, psychological trauma, and severe visceral repulsion. Thanks to these armored coffins, everyday citizens of the fortress cities could live out their entire natural spans without ever laying eyes on an extradimensional beast.

In its own twisted way, it was a peaceful era.

With nothing left to see beyond the frosted panes, boredom set in, and drowsiness crept over Sihyeok as well. The rhythmic swaying of the chassis and the monotonous engine drone blended into a hypnotic lullaby, causing his chin to drop as he dozed off and woke in fits and starts.

He was just drifting into another half-conscious haze when a sudden roar tore through the aisle.

"Woooow!!!"

Startled awake, Sihyeok jerked his head up. Beside him, Chaeyi and the rest of the sleeping children rubbed their bleary eyes and pressed their faces against the glass. The children fell dead silent, holding their breath.

The vista beyond was nothing short of magnificent. The opaque tint had vanished, revealing the colossal skyline of the capital. Towers dozens upon dozens of stories high pierced the heavens in gleaming clusters, woven together by glittering neon displays that cast vibrant ribbons of light over the thoroughfares below. Crowds moved through the broad avenues like steady rivers, while streams of colorful vehicles coursed between the superstructures.

And far in the center, soaring straight into the clouds, stood the Magic Tower of Seoul.

Bathing the city below in an arcane, radiant luminescence that pierced the low clouds, the spire loomed as an indomitable monument to the civilization built beneath its shadow. The children gazed out with sparkling, wide-eyed wonder, utterly captivated. Sihyeok, having seen far grander and far more ruined sights across his life, merely watched with detached indifference.

Moments later, the bus hissed to a gentle halt.

"All right, little friends! Let's exit slowly and safely in an orderly line! Once you're off, find your partners and line up in twos in front of teacher! Understood?"

"Yeeees, teacher~!"

The chorus was bright and deafening, but not a single soul actually listened. Swept up in sheer excitement, the children leaped from their seats, hoisted their backpacks, and shoved past one another in a chaotic rush toward the front door.

Sihyeok had no desire to get crushed in the bottleneck of a crowded aisle, so he stayed seated. Chaeyi, however, had entirely different priorities.

"Hey! Aren't you getting up?! Move it so I can get out!"

Sitting on the inside against the window, she was completely blocked by Sihyeok on the aisle. He cast her a flat, unbothered glance.

"We're all going through the same gate anyway."

"Urrgh! Get out of my way right now!" Unable to bear the delay, Chaeyi shoved his shoulder with both hands.

"Whoa, hey! Stop pushing!"

Swept along by an avalanche of energetic six-year-olds, Sihyeok was propelled down the steps and spilled onto the pavement. Outside, the chaperones were desperately shouting over the din to herd the swarm.

"Everyone! If you're off the bus, take your partner's hand and get in line!"

Take hands?

Sihyeok glanced sideways at Chaeyi. Predictably, she had her arms crossed, radiating utter refusal. He didn't particularly care for hand-holding either, but at this rate, reconciliation would remain impossible. Swallowing his reluctance, he reached out and snatched her small hand.

"What are you doing?! Let go!"

The rejection was instant and fierce, but Sihyeok committed to shameless pragmatism. "Teacher said to hold hands."

"Well, I don't wanna hold hands with you!"

"I heard teacher say that anyone who doesn't hold hands gets sent straight back home." It was a blatant lie, but manufacturing a quick sense of urgency seemed like the easiest way to force cooperation.

Unfortunately, Chaeyi was sharper than that.

"Are you stupid? That's just what grown-ups say to make us listen! The bus going back doesn't leave until tonight, so how could they send just us home?"

"..."

Caught off guard, Sihyeok's tongue tied in knots.

"So let go already. I don't want to hold your hand!" She squirmed, twisting her wrist to shake off his grip.

If coercion failed, he needed to provide a logical justification. Staring squarely into her rebellious eyes, Sihyeok adopted a stern, measured tone.

"You're the dummy here. Why do you think teacher told us to hold hands? So nobody gets lost."

"Who's getting lost?"

It was a preposterous retort. Who else would get lost besides children? But in that moment, Sihyeok completely forgot he was trapped in a six-year-old body.

"You, you damn brat. So hold on if you don't want to end up lost in the crowd."

"Don't call me a brat! You're shorter than me anyway! And I won't get lost! I've gone all the way to the grocery store on errands by myself before! So let go! Let go before I really get mad!"

With a violent wrench, Chaeyi tore her hand free.

The attempt at reconciliation had backfired spectacularly, achieving nothing but stoking her fiery temper further.

Strange... Back then, women always softened ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠up when I initiated physical contact...

Prior to his regression, whenever Sihyeok needed to soothe a woman's anger or secure cooperation, offering casual physical comfort had almost universally defused tension, letting him achieve his goals with ease.

What Sihyeok had never realized was that such clumsy tactics had only ever succeeded because he was devastatingly attractive. Even after half his face had been scarred by fire during his childhood cataclysm, his striking, sharp features were undeniable. He had mistakenly concluded that women simply liked physical affection.

And he had overlooked two fatal ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠factors.

First, his current body was six years old; whatever adult handsomeness he would possess was still buried under baby fat. Second, Chaeyi was a kindergartener. She was nowhere near the age of romantic awakening.

His tactical instincts warned him that if he let this moment slip, mending fences with her would be lost for good. Sihyeok racked his brain, analyzing the psychological profile of the pint-sized menace before him.

Energetic, feisty, desperately tries to act mature around peers... and loves being called an older sister.

"...I see."

Chaeyi wanted to be acknowledged as an adult. By constantly treating her like an annoying little brat, he had done nothing but step on her pride, ensuring total hostility.

The answer was clear, but the price was agonizing.

I have to act like a needy toddler to this kid...? At my age...?

Yet no other solution presented itself. Gritting his teeth, Chaeyi Sihyeok threw his lifelong pride into the gutter. He broke into a small jog, catching up to the stomping girl, and pinched the hem of her jacket sleeve between two fingers.

Chaeyi whipped around, her face flushed red. "I told you I'd get mad—!"

She reared back a tiny fist to strike him, but froze mid-swing.

Sihyeok had his head buried against his chest, muttering beneath his breath.

"Actually... I thought I might get lost..."

"...Huh? What did you say?" Intrigued by his sudden hesitation, Chaeyi's anger dissipated into curious bewilderment.

"I mean... I'm scared of losing my way," he muttered, averting his gaze so he wouldn't have to look her in the eye. "Please... hold my hand..."

Seeing him shrink back, a distinctly mischievous, triumphant grin crept across Chaeyi's lips, as if she had been waiting for this exact opening.

"You're scared of getting lost?"

"Uh...?"

"...Tee-hee."

Her giggles sent a prickle of sheer dread down Sihyeok's spine.

"Is that any way to ask for a favor?! Repeat after me, word for word! Say: 'Noona, Sihyeok is scared he'll get lost. Please hold my hand~' Say it just like that, and maybe I'll hold it!"

"..."

"Not gonna? Fine, I'm going! Bye-bye~"

Fuck... You think I won't? My entire life has been about using whatever means necessary to achieve an objective. What does a shred of shame matter compared to that...?!

"...Noona."

"Hm?"

"...Sihyeok is... scared he'll get... lost... Please... hold my hand."

A cold sweat drenched his collar. If any of his comrades from the previous timeline had witnessed this, he would have bitten his tongue and died on the spot.

"..."

Chaeyi stared at him, blinking in stunned silence. Just as the agonizing stillness became too much to bear and Sihyeok moved to say something—

"Kyaaa~! Good boy! You're finally back! My cute little Sihyeok-ie!"

With an ecstatic shriek, Chaeyi threw her arms around him, furiously ruffling his hair before seizing both his cheeks and kneading them like soft rice cakes.

Buried in her triumphant embrace, a single thought echoed through Sihyeok's blank, shattered mind.

Ah... I want to die.

The sheer, crushing weight of humiliation caused his thoughts to short-circuit, his consciousness completely detaching from reality.

Across both his past life and his present existence, Cha Sihyeok had just etched the single most mortifying memory into his history.