Chapter 42
Chapter 42
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Translator: MadScientist
Chapter: 42
Chapter Title: First Kiss
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I went straight to Scardi's room and spoke first. She thought about it for a moment before letting me inside.
Over the past three days, I'd had plenty of contact with Scardi, but this was the first time stepping into her room. We'd only ever sat at the same table to play card games or shared meals.
Of course, even that level of casual interaction had meant a huge change for me.
But those gentle, wholesome encounters couldn't guarantee safety for me and Lily.
"Lily, right? That girl."
Scardi already knew about my biggest worry. She'd learned it from the TV news, so probably every inmate in Wing C was aware of what was going on with me and Lily.
"What do you want?"
Scardi asked, leaning against the wall.
"What do you want me to do?"
Even those short lines implied our irreversible relationship. She was on top, and I was on the bottom.
Still, the reason I had to ask Scardi for help was that in this dingy, frustrating prison, no one wielded power as kindly as she did.
"...Help Lily. Like you do for me."
But was that kindness universal?
No. Scardi was endlessly generous and respectful to those around her, but she held outsiders to strict standards.
So I had to bend once more.
"Rin, step out for a bit."
"Yes."
Suddenly, Scardi's closest aide, who had been lounging on the top bunk, was shooed away. It seemed she didn't want to talk where others could hear.
Rin left the bed quietly and swiftly, without a word of protest.
Click-
With the door closed, only Scardi and I remained in the single room. A strange atmosphere began to flow.
"You seem to be misunderstanding something. I'm not some loose woman who helps just anyone."
"I know."
Was she angry?
Today, her words felt especially heavy.
"Do you know why I'm looking out for you?"
The distance closed,
and she stopped only when her breath brushed my skin.
Then she spoke to me.
"...You know, Crow."
We both swallowed once. We knew exactly where this was heading.
Since coming here, my body had been defiled countless times, so there wasn't much left to hesitate about. Even so.
Even so, I couldn't help feeling tense. After everything Creep and her gang, or Orca, had done to me, I got hypersensitive whenever a woman drew close.
"Sit down first."
Right. There was no more need to hesitate.
The days of clinging to compromises were over.
I had to protect myself until I escaped this prison. And now, I had to protect Lily too.
I perched on the edge of Scardi's bottom bunk, and she sat beside me. We weren't touching, but I could feel her heated breath clearly enough.
Strangely, she smelled like mouthwash. Something like that shouldn't even exist in this prison.
"I'll do whatever you say."
I closed my eyes slightly and shifted inward on the bed. Scardi's room had a surprisingly spacious bed—better than the ones in other rooms, apparently.
I lay back comfortably, closing my eyes with a sense of resignation, waiting for Scardi.
"You're moving pretty fast."
But unexpectedly,
Scardi sat me up and had me sit on the bed again.
Her unexpected reaction left me flustered too. No matter how nice she was to me, every woman here was obviously after my body.
Yet Scardi sat demurely, staring straight at me as she spoke.
"Good. You're saying you'll repay the favors I've done for you. Then first, give me your hand."
Her next request was incredibly mild. Just to hold out my hand to her...
I extended my hand as she asked. Scardi gently grasped it and interlaced our fingers, palm to palm.
"Not that small, huh. Bigger than I thought. Feels different holding it than just looking."
With our hands clasped like that, Scardi kept glancing at me. Her deep brown eyes pierced into mine, blinking slowly.
"Now you hold my hand."
Scardi offered her hand. She held out her other palm-up hand, waiting for me to take it.
I did the same for her. Our palms touched as we laced fingers, and I felt the texture of her hand.
Surprisingly soft for a woman, and fairly large. Hardened by our harsh lives, but unmistakably a woman's hand.
"What does it feel like?"
"...Warm."
Something felt off. I never imagined getting this kind of treatment in prison.
All those gazes fixed on me had always dripped with sticky lust and mockery.
Now, only an embarrassing, ticklish old sensation remained.
"Is that so. My hand is warm."
Scardi smiled faintly. Her cheeks flushed a light pink.
My palms started to sweat without me realizing. The weird mood made holding hands feel embarrassing.
Embarrassing.
An emotion I could hardly comprehend myself.
What was there to be embarrassed about in a place like this? My body had been violated and soiled dozens of times over—what meaning did it hold now?
"Want to hold it differently?"
Scardi released the interlock and naturally took my hand in hers instead. My left, her right.
Our nails lightly tapped the backs of each other's hands, while our sweating palms gently stroked one another.
Doing this brought the word "first love" to mind. My own experiences with love hadn't had this innocent flutter, yet somehow Scardi's touch stirred up my memories.
"This is my first time."
With our hands squeezed tight, Scardi continued.
She seemed embarrassed even saying it, turning her head slightly and covering her mouth. A few beads of sweat trickled down her temple.
"Holding hands like this..."
What a contradiction.
After my body had been ravaged so many times, just holding hands made my heart stir strangely.
"...I want to start like this."
Scardi pushed through her shyness and looked back at me. Faces close, she poured out her true feelings.
"It's not your body I want. I want you, the person."
What was this?
In a prison like this?
To me, already passed around like a rag?
"I like you. This is real."
Despite the place, it was a confession straight out of a shojo manga.
"I don't care about the rest. You seem to think you're soiled, so you let people use your body however, but I don't care about that. I want just one thing. Like me back, as much as I like you. And in the end, just stay by my side."
I couldn't quite understand it myself, but Scardi felt a little endearing.
After clashing with our association for years,
here she was helping me and confessing her feelings.
"Helping Lily is easy. I know she's like a precious little sister to you. So forget the rest... Open your heart to me."
"Uh...?"
Her sudden confession left me flustered and hesitant.
"...Yeah, got it."
"Good. From now on, do what I say. Hold hands, kiss sometimes."
In truth, hadn't I already survived by leaving most of my life in Scardi's hands?
"Say you miss me if you do, say you're tired if you are, get closer than with others, look out for each other..."
Yet every one of Scardi's words was pure and simple. That only amplified the bizarre disconnect.
"Be honest with your heart. That's what I want."
Creep's words came to mind. Something about Scardi raping me in the showers on behalf of Black Owl and Acid. Trading me or whatever.
"So don't reject me anymore."
If that was true, Scardi was clearly dangerous, but the way she acted now was like a clumsy girl in love.
"...Let's kiss. I've wanted to try it."
She crawled over on the bed, roughly cupping my cheek,
and thrust her flushed face toward mine, lips slightly pursed.
We waited like that for a moment, then our lips met. Amid the soft, moist sensation, her tongue timidly slipped in, gently probing my mouth.
It was stiff. Her mechanical movements suggested she knew the theory but had zero practical experience.
We closed our eyes and continued our first kiss.
Unlike Creep's aggressive advances,
Scardi's awkward, novice kiss felt even hotter and more embarrassingly thrilling.
"Pha!"
She didn't even know to breathe through her nose,
so the first kiss ended before twenty seconds were up.