Chapter 86
Bahamons was truly enraged. Was it this powerful? The Dwarf King grimaced as he watched his screaming subjects plummeting from the walls. It wasn't even the full Demon King's army assaulting them—just a single lich. From the oral tales passed down through generations, he'd guessed the Demon King's forces were no pushovers, but this was beyond imagination. They'd spent a full week preparing to counter the lich, yet it had barely any effect. Who could've known those bones would explode like goddamn explosives?
"What the hell are you standing around for like an idiot? You planning to let all your people die?"
The Dwarf King, lost in a daze staring at the battlefield, snapped back to reality at the voice beside him. The hero James had brought along was glaring at him with clear displeasure. The king knew the hero harbored no fondness for him or the dwarves. He'd failed to hide his hesitation at the Demon King's proposal, so this was only natural.
"H-Help us, please."
The king uttered those words to the hero. He felt a pang of guilt toward him, but now wasn't the time for such concerns. Even as he hesitated, explosions rocked the outside, accompanied by the dwarves' screams. Still, if the hero's power from the childhood stories was real, there had to be a way to stop that wicked sorcerer.
But in response to the king's plea, the hero merely flashed a sinister grin. It was a smile that dug into the heart like a knife—utterly unlike the expression of any hero from legend. The king could only stare at him in stunned silence.
"You think you can freeload off me? Go fight yourself. Or just keep cowering in your castle like now until everyone dies."
The hero's words were brutally firm. The king gaped at him like a fool. He never imagined the hero would say something like that at this moment.
*'Typical. Heroes or dwarves, all the same.' I clicked my tongue in disdain at the Dwarf King. Those in high positions always reacted the same way to the Demon King's army. They underestimated the enemy's strength while harboring baseless confidence in their own forces. And yet, they all cowered behind their walls out of fear. The problem was, the Demon King's troops weren't idiots—they didn't charge blindly without a way to breach the defenses. This pattern held true across the Empire, human kingdoms, dwarves, and elves alike.
'Well, the elves were different... in a way that pissed me off even more.' Racking my brain, I recalled how the elves had infuriated me in their own unique fashion, but that wasn't important right now.
"Hey, you dwarf geezers! Weren't you bragging you'd sweep the Demon King's army if they showed? Why're you all huddled up like scared turtles? Huh? Shorties got tiny balls too?"
"W-What?!"
"Looks like your dicks are tiny as hell too."
I shouted mockingly, and the dwarves immediately glared daggers at me. The hostility toward me surpassed even that of the Demon King's army hammering at the gates. Grinning wickedly at their reaction, I pressed on.
"What? I'm just one guy, so I make an easy target? What kinda castle defense is this? Huh? You said you can't live without sex? Or are you all just big mouths? If you can't kill those crazy skeleton bastards, you won't be getting any pussy from now on."
"Arrrgh! Your Majesty! Open the gates! I'll show that hero scum how brave dwarves are!"
"Yeah, we're dead either way like he said. Better to clash head-on."
"Seeeex!"
Something weird got mixed in there, but the dwarves fell perfectly for my taunts and started burning with fighting spirit. Even those bleeding profusely gripped their weapons and glared outside the walls. With the mood shifting like that, the king had no choice but to order the gates opened. Hell, if he'd delayed even a bit longer, the gates might've shattered first.
"Charge! Charge!"
"Let's die fighting, you skeleton shits!!!"
"I'll show you how spicy dwarf cock is!!"
The moment the gates swung open, the furious dwarves poured out. They stood barely 150cm tall, but their power was no joke. Their round, barrel-like bodies unleashed surprising strength, and the massive axes they favored were too heavy for most human soldiers to wield properly.
'Nice.'
I quickly climbed to the upper city walls through the path the dwarves had cleared, scanning the battlefield. Once ignited, the dwarves pushed back the skeleton horde with ferocious momentum. What was amusing was their fighting style—they fought in tight-knit teams, like a single unit.
'So that's how you use those horned helmets?'
They formed scrums and charged like bulls into the skeletons, or got hurled by comrades straight into the enemy center. Occasional sniper shots from skeleton archers glanced off, but the dwarves' gear was too sturdy to take real damage.
"Hahaha! Skeletons, how many can you grab?!"
"Dickless boneheads daring to invade?!"
The dwarves' boisterous laughter echoed across the field. But Bahamons wasn't some pushover to be one-sidedly trounced. Soon, flying monsters joined the fray, swooping down to snatch dwarves from the ground.
"Urk, it's flying! It's taking off!"
Dwarves clung to their comrades like a tug-of-war, but the flyers' strength was immense. And then—boom! The monsters exploded mid-pull, disrupting the dwarves' surging momentum bit by bit.
"Karen, handle the flying monsters."
"B-But I want Bahamons..."
"If you make a scene, he'll show up on his own."
Karen nodded at my words and headed outside the city. Moments later, brilliant spells rained from the sky.
"Haaang!"
Of course, every time she cast, Karen let out lewd moans and trembled visibly. Luckily, no one on the battlefield was paying her close attention.
Reinvigorated by Karen's intervention against the flyers and despite Bahamons' bone explosions, the dwarves fought with renewed valor.
"Go get 'em! Mage is here!"
"Die! Wait, you're already dead?"
The battle devolved into pure chaos. I rapidly scanned the push-and-pull across the field, searching for something.
'Where is it?'
*"W-What the... that crazy bitch?"
Bahamons scowled at the sudden intruder mage. She looked like a junior from the magic tower he'd created, and her skill was no joke. He felt a flicker of pride at first, but the issue was her unilaterally shredding his carefully gathered flying monsters. What really pissed him off was the slutty moans she let out with every spell.
'That bitch is definitely mocking me.'
Like she was taunting him with those lascivious sounds while blasting magic—Bahamons boiled with rage. He didn't usually enjoy direct combat, but he felt compelled to personally discipline this insolent junior.
"I'll be right back."
"My lord, the battle's not going against us. No need to—"
"Shut up. I won't calm down until I tear that bitch apart."
Bahamons snapped at the skeleton knight trying to dissuade him.
"Haaang! Die, skeletons! Hngh!"
Even now, the young mage bitch was mocking him. And her fresh, vibrant looks rubbed salt in an old wound.
—Senior, sorry. I... I have someone I like.
Before falling as a lich, Bahamons had been a man with a pure heart. The junior mage who'd entered the tower a year after him was curious and brilliant. To Bahamons, with his superior intellect, she was the only woman worth conversing with. He'd assumed they'd end up together someday, but it was all delusion.
She'd rejected his courageous confession with those words.
—We're getting married. You'll congratulate us, right?
'No way. You always said you liked smart guys. What was all my hard research for?'
She'd claimed her ideal was a brilliant mage she could respect, but it was all lies. The man she was marrying was a young, handsome magic engineer from the tower—but his magic sucked.
Of course, that alone wouldn't have made Bahamons curse her. People's hearts don't always bend to one's will, and he was willing to celebrate her love. But on her wedding day, seeing her belly swollen unnaturally...
'Those two... while I'm holed up researching? When?!'
Bahamons' brilliant mind vividly imagined the young mage and his junior tangled in bed. Overwhelmed by disgust, he couldn't hold back.
"I'll kill you! You slutty junior bitch!"
Bahamons unleashed his fury at Karen—who had zero connection to that past—and soared into the battlefield.