The dwarves had given gifts to the hero.
The dwarves had given gifts to the hero.
"Sit properly."
I said that to Karen, who was slung across the horse like luggage as we gazed at the dwarf city. After all, considering the carriage incident, it seemed even dwarves had some sense of etiquette. Even if Karen was an uninvited guest, treating her like baggage might go against that.
"A… alright."
Karen looked startled at my words and began shifting to sit behind me. She didn't know how to ride, but she could manage flight magic, so repositioning on horseback didn't seem too hard for her.
I followed James's lead and urged the horse forward, soon spotting the dwarf soldiers guarding the massive city gates.
"We've brought the hero. Send word to the king."
"Please wait a moment."
James called out to the soldiers, and soon one of the gate dwarves scampered inside on his short legs.
Even the gatekeepers' weapons aren't ordinary.
I swallowed hard, eyeing their double-bladed axes gleaming in the sunlight. Dwarven smiths were notoriously reluctant to share their work with outsiders, but family was the exception. Not every dwarf was a blacksmith, but those based in a single city were tightly knit by blood ties. Gate guards probably had no trouble getting top gear from distant cousins.
Thinking about it again… pisses me off.
The thought soured my mood. They equipped even lowly soldiers with masterpieces, yet in the previous timeline, they hadn't spared me so much as a basic longsword.
Karen flinched against my waist, sensing my shift in temper.
Haa… what a pain.
I scratched my head irritably. The dwarves weren't snubbing me now, and Karen wasn't threatening to dissect me like before. Still, those old memories painted them in a bad light, and I couldn't shake the grudge.
At this rate, I might lose it before Karen did—right as the dwarf king arrived.
"This the hero?"
The king eyed me immediately upon appearing, and James nodded.
"That's him."
I wasn't surprised by James's casual tone with the king. Dwarf kingship rotated among elders anyway. As envoy leader, James was likely a peer, probably childhood friends given their city-bound habits.
What caught me off guard was Karen's calm reaction to the odd scene. Then I recalled her ties to the king and it made sense.
"Where'd you sell the carriage?"
"…About that."
James grimaced at the king's question, glancing at Karen, who flinched again. Compared to her brazen carriage-wrecking earlier, this was progress.
"Eh, whatever."
"Speaking of, you prepare what the hero asked for?"
"Ah, of course."
I perked up at their exchange. No idea how James alerted the city while traveling with me, but it sounded like they'd readied what I needed.
"Oho, the hero looks eager. Follow me. I'll show you yours first."
Reading my face, the dwarf king grinned and led us into the dwarf village. The cave-like interior featured homes carved from walls and smithies everywhere. Short-statured dwarves poured out to gawk at us—rare sights for outsiders.
Amusingly, their stares lingered more on Karen than the hero.
"What? They said human girl, but damn, she's plain."
"Haha, humans got it rough. Stuck with that."
"Nah, she's the weird one. Not all human girls look like that, right?"
True to their blunt nature, the dwarves voiced every thought about Karen without filter. She usually ignored it, but the sheer volume wore her down. She buried her face in my back, and I let her.
"Heh, the hero's decent though. Should I hit on him?"
"Pfft, nah. Looks frail. No real man vibe."
They weren't ignoring me entirely. Dwarf women with Juan-like faces and beards whispered as they eyed me.
I wanted to curse them out, but it was just dwarf nature—wasted effort.
"Karen, ignore 'em. That's how they are."
Her hand twitched at my murmur. I didn't care what she thought; the dwarves' clueless chatter just annoyed me. I followed the king stone-faced.
"Hero, these are specially prepared for you."
In the massive central hall, the king had soldiers bring out ornate boxes—three in total. I drooled over the gem-encrusted ones, shoving aside my irritation. I had a weakness for good gear too.
"May I open them?"
"They're yours now. Go ahead."
I cracked the leftmost one first. Inside gleamed a large silver ring.
Too big for a ring…?
I shot the king a puzzled look. Bracelet? Too small.
"What is this…?"
"Ah, that. Real good stuff."
"…Good?"
"Yeah. Slip it on your dick, and women pass out from it."
"……."
I gaped at the king's deadpan perversion. Even unflappable Karen flinched. For a rotating elder king, this dwarf humor was extreme.
"This is a joke, right?"
"Huh? Joke? It's great for men. Too big? No worries—mithril-made, enchanted to auto-fit."
Realizing he was serious, I glanced at James, who looked equally awkward.
Calm down. Two more left.
Deep breath. Next box: small silver egg-shaped orb.
"…This?"
"Vibrator. Shove it in a woman, she loves it. Moves on your will—no solo worries."
My face hardened. I knew their rep, but weapons? In this situation?
"Last one…."
I bit my lip at the final reveal. No explanation needed: pale brown cylinder, pussy-shaped end.
"Our masterpiece! Onahole! Satisfy yourself anywhere."
Fury boiled at the king's proud grin. Forget the demon army—I'd wipe these perverts out myself.
"Hey, you lunatic! Why prepare this crap? He asked for weapons!"
James, the imperial envoy, roared at the king.
The king looked utterly wronged.
"But you said 'killer items'!"
"You madman! Items mean weapons, armor!"
"Bullshit. Speak clearly then? How was I to know the hero wanted that?"
Only then did I realize it wasn't mockery. I reined in my killing intent.
Inner peace!