8. Do They Teach You It's Okay to Break Doors Just Because You're a Noble?
8. Do They Teach You It's Okay to Break Doors Just Because You're a Noble?
Kung! Kung! Kung!
The dormitory hallway, where only the lively voices of freshmen with fluttering hearts should be heard upon moving into their new rooms.
"Jerry! Were you assigned to this dormitory too?"
"Oh, fancy seeing you here! From what I hear, everyone from Class A and up gets assigned to this dormitory?"
Whether they were folks who became close during the entrance ceremony,
"Bwahaha! Look who it is! Isn't that the eldest son of the Dwelt family!"
"We literally ran into each other in the auditorium, why are you pretending it's your first time seeing me?"
or people who already knew each other's faces from before entering the academy.
It was a moment when they should have been chatting pleasantly with one another, but...
"......."
Kwang! Kwang! Kwang!
"Huh? Why is a girl here...?"
"N-No, more importantly, that person. Isn't she Lady Lucia, who took the oath as the freshman representative today?"
At this very moment, eliciting footsteps that seemed to ruthlessly trample over those conversations,
the footsteps of one person were steadily approaching a certain room.
And.
"......."
I couldn't say I had lived a long life,
but I pride myself on having seen plenty of lunatics, at least.
To survive in this crazy world masquerading as a rom-com, constantly betraying and tearing each other apart was the daily routine.
That was why no matter what kind of nutjobs appeared, I could keep from panicking too much, but...
"What the hell kind of crazy bitch is that...?"
This was the first time I'd ever seen a case like hers, so even I was considerably flustered.
Should I say she has no thought for the consequences?
Or should I say she has high initiative?
No, just think about it.
Does it make any sense to check the dormitory roster just to catch me?
It wasn't like her life was on the brink of ruin, and she was supposedly a ducal family's young lady.
Does it make any damn sense for such an exalted personage to barge all the way into the boys' dormitory?
Just thinking about it was absurd, but...
Right as I strained my ears and glared at the door in the dark,
"Mmph...! Mmph...!"
Ciel, whose mouth was gagged while held in my arms, squirmed slightly.
"Ah."
Was I holding it too tightly?
I hurriedly loosened my grip on Ciel's mouth a little.
"Haah, haah...! Hanah? What on earth is..."
"Shh."
"B-But..."
"Stay quiet."
I placed my index finger against his lips, signaling him to be quiet.
Though it was dark, thanks to the light leaking through the gap in the window, I could faintly see that Ciel's face had flushed red.
Every time his slender shoulders brushed against my chest, the fragrance wafting from him swirled dizzily around the tip of my nose.
He was looking at me with a face so bright red it looked ready to burst pop at any second.
'I know, too.'
I understand why he's acting like he wants to crawl into a mouse hole.
"......."
And understandably so, since not only had I clamped his mouth shut so hard he could barely breathe,
but our current posture was also not looking good at all.
A cramped corner beneath the bed.
Since I had clamped Ciel's mouth while hugging him from behind, he was pressed completely flush against my chest.
He must be embarrassed.
He might even feel like dying of humiliation. Because in fact, that's how I feel.
"......."
However.
Malkang, malkang.
'...Why is this guy's body so soft?'
I had no intention of touching him on purpose.
It was just that, being in an embracing posture, physical contact was inevitably bound to happen.
In that sense, whenever I unintentionally touched parts of his body, Ciel's soft feeling was transmitted even through the fabric.
On top of that, what was up with his fragrance piercing the tip of my nose, and why was the heartbeat touching my arm pounding so frantically?
"Hanah. I'm sorry, but... I'm suffocating..."
"Sorry. Bear with it for just a bit."
If we pretend to be invisible like this, no matter how foul-tempered the heroine is, she'll tire herself out and go back. It was right when I was trying to endure with that thought.
Teobeok. Teobeok.
The gradually approaching sound of footsteps drew nearer,
"......."
and the footsteps stopped dead right in front of our room.
In front of the door to Room 201.
"...Room 201, it's here."
A cold voice muttering repeatedly outside the door as if chewing over the words.
Kwang! Kwang! Kwang!
"I know you're inside! Open the door right now!"
Immediately, the sound of pounding hard enough to break the door resonated loudly down the hallway.
To the point where I seriously wanted to ask where such strength sprang from in that slender body,
it was brute physical strength violent enough to rattle the sturdy door made of premium oak.
"I-I told you earlier that I clearly remembered your face, didn't I? How dare you run away even after hearing the name of Valois?!"
"......."
No, if I didn't run away, would I have just obediently let myself get caught?
Who knows what kind of annoying mess I'd be subjected to if I got caught.
'Like hell I'd be crazy enough to let you catch me.'
Kwang-kwang-kwang-kwang-kwang!
"Come out! I told you to come out!"
When there was no response from inside even after pounding for a while, she now began bashing the door with both hands with the momentum to shatter it completely.
"H-Heeek...."
Beside me, Ciel, wondering if the door might be broken down like this,
was trembling like an aspen leaf, clutching my arm tightly with his eyes shut tight.
Since he had no idea what the situation even was,
he must be scared out of his mind wondering what on earth is happening.
"You won't open the door?! Fine. I'll give you 3 seconds! If you don't open it after 3 seconds, I'll blow this whole door away with magic, so consider yourself warned!"
"⋯⋯."
Wait a second.
What did that woman just say?
"...Magic? Blow away what?"
Lucia's behavior, which went beyond all imagination, sent an instant chill down my spine.
A bitch who's supposedly a rom-com heroine...
does one normally... have the thought to smash a boys' dormitory door with magic?
'...Do I really have to go out there?'
"Three!"
It could just be a simple bluff.
No matter if she's a ducal family's young lady, smashing someone else's dorm door is behavior that goes beyond common sense.
"Two!"
First was denial.
Because common sense would naturally lead one to think there was no way that could happen.
'...She's already defying common sense though.'
Next was worry.
Property damage from the very first day of school. On top of that, getting entangled with a high noble—what if it caused unnecessary trouble?
'...Though to say that, I'm already entangled with her.'
"⋯⋯."
"One!"
Ah, shit.
"H-Hanah...!"
A crimson light of magic power leaked through the door gap, and the surrounding air began to vibrate unpleasantly.
Judging by the reaction of the gathering magic power, it was identical to the premonitory symptoms of explosion magic. Which meant she wasn't joking around.
That cow was definitely determined to blow the dorm door away no matter what.
"Haah. Seriously..."
This was no time to stay hidden.
I reflexively bounced to my feet.
"Ah, Hanah...!"
"Stay right here quietly."
I pressed Ciel's shoulder lightly to reassure him, then stood straight up.
*
Wwoooong─!
Around the time the ominously flickering light of red magic power leaked through the door gap.
Lucia, the party causing the commotion in front of the door, was in a state of fluster.
"I-If you don't open the door, I'll blow it up? I said I'll really blow it away...!"
Unless they were an idiot, they would have more than felt this level of mana,
yet beyond the door remained completely quiet.
"⋯Y-You still won't come out? I'm really going to do it?"
Even though she clearly sensed a presence inside,
there was no sign of him coming out at all even with her going this far.
'Really! Why aren't you coming out⋯!'
She had already completed all preparations to cast the magic.
At this rate, all she needed to do was chant the spell and blast the mana gathered in her hand.
However, now that everything would end with just taking one single step,
she was hesitating with that last step remaining.
'⋯Why are you really not coming out? Are you saying it's fine for me to break the door down like this?'
Naturally, she had no real intention of smashing the door.
She just wanted to somehow receive a sincere apology.
After all, even when she almost fell after bumping shoulders while walking along normally,
and even when she went out of her way to warn him so he wouldn't get needlessly scolded by the professors for his disheveled attire,
she hadn't heard a proper apology, or at the very least, a word of thanks.
And having gone so far as to check the roster and track down the dormitory where he was staying,
she couldn't very well turn back now saying she couldn't do it.
'S-Shoot⋯. I shouldn't have come in the first place.'
How on earth did the situation end up like this?
Regretting it now was already too late, so...
"I-I'm really going to do i⋯!"
Right as she was chanting the spell in half-despair and reaching her hand toward the door—
Beolkeok!
The door swung open violently from the inside without any prior warning,
and so startled by the opponent who suddenly appeared, the magic she had been chanting dissipated futilely with a fizzling pusisik sound.
"U-Uh...?"
The shoulder of Lucia, who was stumbling having lost her balance, was firmly seized with one hand by the man who appeared from inside, Kang Han.
Kkwaaak.
"O-Ouch!"
Although he had moderated his grip strength, from the perspective of a delicately raised ducal lady, it must have hurt like being clamped by iron tongs.
Thinking from Kang Han's perspective, whether it hurt her or not didn't matter at all.
If it were Ciel, he could show the consideration of holding him gently so it wouldn't hurt,
but toward Lucia, he wasn't in a generous enough mood to care that much.
"Hey."
"L-Let go of this... let go! I-It hurts, I tell you...!"
"Do they teach you that being a noble gives you the right to go around breaking doors? In that exalted ducal family of yours?"
"H-Hic... I-I said it hurts!"
Looking at her on the verge of tears, I roughly brushed back my disheveled hair.
Supposedly a daughter of a ducal family, yet...
Her once gorgeous blonde hair was sticking out in all directions to the point where one couldn't even guess how urgently she had run here,
and her once neat uniform was disarranged, her chest heaving wildly up and down with every breath she took.
"Hey. Duke's daughter."
"Sob⋯ sniff, w-w-w-what is it?!"
"Do you really want to be taught a lesson?"
Toward Lucia, who was squirming to break free,
I spat out the words with just a tiny bit, really just an ant's booger worth of killing intent loaded into it.
The bravado with which she had been screaming until just moments ago vanished,
and upon making eye contact, her eyes began to tremble violently as if struck by an earthquake.
*
"Ah⋯ Aah⋯!"
It must be agonizing. She probably can't even breathe.
Her hands and feet must be trembling so hard she can't even speak.
'Yeah, I know.'
Because I did it knowing that.
And understandably so, because right now I'm in an insanely irritated mood.
I'm already dead tired as it is, so how could I look kindly on a bitch who disturbs me from resting?
Overwhelmed by my glaring gaze, Lucia could only quiver her lips with a pale face.
"T-That's not it.... Y-You were the one who acted rudely first! B-Bumping shoulders and j-just trying to g-go⋯!"
"⋯⋯.
"Sniffle⋯. A-And I even, sniff, gave you a-advice to tie your n-necktie properly... but you just, cr-cra... called me a crazy bitch! Sniff... c-cursing at me!"
"...Even so. Barging into the boys' dormitory out of nowhere and aiming to smash the door with magic, huh?"
"T-That's...!"
As if at a loss for words, Lucia's face flushed bright red this time.
At this point, it would be nice if she took the hint and fucked off,
but her pride was pointlessly high, matching those massive chunks of fat of hers,
so even while tearful, she raised her head high in an effort not to avoid my gaze.
"I-It's because you ignored me and ran away! As the young lady of the Valois family, to question you about that... huh?"
Lucia's gaze lowered from my face, then came to a sudden halt.
"⋯⋯."
"⋯⋯?"
What? Why did she suddenly go quiet like a mute who ate honey...
'Ah.'
I know what I look like too.
I had just washed up and was only wearing a single thin, loose lounge shirt.
On top of that, because I moved in a hurry, several buttons were undone, leaving the scars on my chest fully exposed.
"......."
"......."
Silence flowed.
Even though I could clearly feel Lucia's gaze lingering on my chest area, I didn't bother pulling my collar closed.
No, why. What do you want me to do about it?
Is dressing comfortably in a boys' dormitory a crime?
I've got nothing to be ashamed of.
"Stop staring at another man's body and get going if your business is done. Don't tear up and make people tired."
"T-Tear up...?! I-I wasn't crying, you know...!? Hmph...."
If you're going to lie so shamelessly, at least wipe away your tears before talking.
Because my heart's starting to ache for no reason.
"Haah.... It's my fault, so just leave."
"D-Don't say things you don't even mean⋯!"
Right as I gestured for her to just leave while I was asking nicely, and Lucia was about to snap with a red face,
"U-Um.... Hanah. Is it over?"
From behind my back, inside the dark room where the lights were off, a small, crawling voice could be heard.
"Ciel?"
When I turned my head, Ciel, who had been hiding under the bed, was hesitantly shuffling out.
Naturally, he could come out.
Unless he intended to hide under the bed for the rest of his life, that is.
The only problem was his current state.
"Ugh. Haah...!"
Because he had been hiding in a cramped space, his shirt was rumpled,
and having gasped for air with his mouth gagged in my arms until just moments ago, tears were welling up in his eyes while both cheeks were flushed peach-red.
Not to mention the fact that it was pitch dark with all the lights out,
and the way his chest was heaving as he panted heavily.
"......."
A dark room.
A muscular, scar-covered man standing with his top half-undone.
And crawling out from behind him, a teary-eyed pretty boy panting in rumpled clothes.
"...Uh, huh?"
Lucia's flustered eyes alternated between me and Ciel, and quickly began to lose their focus.
"B-B-Be-Between men... w-what on earth were you doing...?"
Lucia's voice trembled like a goat.
Covering her mouth with her hands, she took a step backward as if she had just witnessed the most unspeakable sight in the world.
"No, it's not what you're thinking right now."
I hastily tried to make an excuse, but Ciel drove the final nail into the coffin.
"H-Hanah. Earlier I was suffocating so much... that it hurt a little..."
"⋯Hey, you crazy bastard! If you phrase it like that, she'll misunderstand!"
"Uh, huh? Did I say something wrong?"
Puuuushiiii─!
Ciel blinked repeatedly as if he had no clue what was going on,
but seeing steam rising from the head of Lucia standing in front, it was blatantly obvious what kind of imagination was running wild in her mind.
"Y-Y-You...!"
Lucia's face turned beet red to the roots of her hair, and she pointed an accusatory finger toward me.
"You beast! Pervert! Shameless scoundrel! I-I-In the s-s-sacred academy's dormitory! And on the very first day of entrance, what kind of insane act are you doing between the same sex?!!"
"No, I know what you're imagining. It's not that. I'm telling you it isn't!"
"Hey! At least listen to what I have to say before you go!"
I reached out toward Lucia to clear up the misunderstanding,
but before I could even grab her, just like when she came, the sound of footsteps retreated like an arrow down the stairs and soon vanished completely from sight.
"......."
Watching her back as she vanished in an instant,
I stood blankly by the open doorway, only listening to the receding footsteps.
"...Haah."
There wasn't even a chance to clear the misunderstanding.
Because she had appeared in a flash and vanished in a flash.
Staring at the spot where she had disappeared with a hollow expression, I let out a sigh and roughly swept my hair back.
'I don't know anymore. Whatever happens, happens.'
"Um, Hanah. Are you mad by any chance...?"
From behind, Ciel asked cautiously while reading my mood.
Turning around, I quietly looked down at Ciel, whose face was still blushed pink.
Rolling his puppy-dog eyes while giving off a fragrant floral scent, his state certainly was enough to cause a misunderstanding.
"......."
It was already a total shitshow, so there was no point in scolding him now.
...Not that it was something to scold him for in the first place.
Since it was just that cow bitch with filthy huge tits who misunderstood on her own and took off.
"No. The nuisance is gone, so just turn on the lights."
"Okay!"
Ciel quickly flicked the switch on the wall, illuminating the room.
Slumping onto the sofa in the brightened living room, I pressed hard against my throbbing temples.
Nothing would change just by sitting here like this,
and the situation wouldn't change just because I worried over it.
Yeah. Let's just go to sleep.
"...I'm going to sleep first."
Clutching my tattered mental state, I moved my feet toward the bedroom.
From behind, I heard Ciel greeting, 'G-Good night, Hanah!', but I just waved my hand half-heartedly and shut the bedroom door.
Facing the plush king-sized bed once more,
I collapsed flat onto the bed just like that.
"......."
As I closed my eyes, the terrible events that took place throughout today flashed past like a revolving lantern.
Getting scammed by a goddess when I was trying to return home after killing the Demon King.
Being forcibly enrolled in an academy wearing a school uniform at the ripe old age of 28.
Somehow getting wrongly entangled with a ducal young lady.
Becoming roommates with a guy who looks like a girl.
And lastly, even getting misunderstood as being gay.
"...I want to die."
I was at the point where I'd rather miss the Demon King's Castle.
Because there, all I had to do was just slice everything up without thinking.
"......."
Pulling the blanket up to cover my face, I mumbled softly.