4. I Knew I Should Have Held Back
4. I Knew I Should Have Held Back
Hwareureuk!
It was a familiar scene.
A moment I could never forget.
Acrid smoke stinging the tip of my nose, and crimson flames blazing as if to swallow my entire vision.
Amidst the fiercely raging inferno.
The figure of a man trapped under the collapsed building debris flickered before my eyes.
"...Hanah."
Covered in blood, the silhouette of the man gasping for breath could be seen.
"...Yes, abeoji."
"Take care of our family."
"......."
Because it was so horrifying.
The memory of that day, when I thought it might be better to just lose my mind.
Before I possessed a character in Eldain Academy Saga.
The moment of the terrible accident I experienced back then.
Even while rolling like a dog for three years after being possessed into this damn world, it never left my head, branded like a stigma.
Even when taking the curse cast by the Demon King with my bare body.
Even when my mind almost crumbled under the illusion magic.
Like a broken tape.
Always. I had dreams where that scene repeated itself to a cruel extent.
'Hanah. Take care of our family.'
Telling me never to forget.
As if trying to tell me to return to my original world no matter what.
"......."
So, these scenes I was seeing right now.
These moments vibrating with the stench of blood and burning.
Were nothing more than a dreadful dream.
Even though my subconscious already knew that all too well.
"...Yes."
Even so, I.
Always repeat the exact same words to the man before my eyes.
Just like I did on that day.
And because that answer was the sole reason I had to return home alive, as well as a curse I could never escape.
'Eomeoni. And my dongsaeng.'
I have to protect my family.
For those who would only be looking up to me in a home where the head of the household is gone.
Because I couldn't stop here.
"......"
Hwareureukㅡ!
With the colossal blaze crashing over to swallow abeoji before my eyes as the last thing.
"Heok...!"
Along with a short gasp, I snapped open my closed eyes.
Neither the crimson flames that had filled my vision.
Nor the sight of abeoji dying crushed under the rubble.
Everything had vanished without a trace.
"......."
Idiot. Of course it did.
Because it was merely a dream.
"Haaaa...."
'Get a grip. It's a dream, a dream⋯. Just a dream.'
Out of habit, I covered my face with both hands to hide my contorted expression.
My palms quickly grew clammy from the cold sweat drenching my entire forehead.
"E, Excuse me...?"
While still in a daze, I turned my gaze to the side, where the figure of a sickly-looking person was looking at me with a restless expression.
"......?"
What's with this guy who practically screams 'I am a pretty boy' just by looking at him?
Is this a dream too?
"...U, Ugh."
"......."
"E, Excuuuse me...?"
'Ah. I'm at the academy right now.'
Belatedly grasping the situation with my half-asleep head and blinking slowly, the first thing that came into view was his pure-white, slender nape.
And even his large, round eyes filled with worry, leaning in close as if peering into me.
"Y, You suddenly started sweating cold sweat so much.... A, Are you okay?"
If you ask whether I'm okay, honestly I'm not.
Even so, I couldn't grumble and snap at someone asking out of concern, so I gave a light nod.
"Sorry. I just had a bit of a nightmare."
"...T, Thank goodness. Ah, right. It looks like you sweated quite a bit. Would you like to wipe it with this for now?"
"Huh?"
What Ciel cautiously held out after rummaging through his trouser pocket as if searching for something was a pure-white handkerchief embroidered with pretty stitching.
"......."
With a blank face, I looked back and forth between the handkerchief in the guy's hand and Ciel's face.
As the handkerchief drew near, a sweet floral scent wafted in even more intensely.
'No matter how you look at it, this isn't the scent of a dude.'
Unable to shake off my suspicious gaze, I accepted the handkerchief.
Either way, I couldn't go walking around drenched in sweat from the very first day of admission.
"Thanks. I'll wash this and return it to you."
"A, Ah, no! You really don't have to return it...!"
What do you mean it's fine.
Don't worry, I'll wash it clean without a single drop of moisture left before returning it.
Wiping the sweat from my forehead, I took the opportunity of being awake to look around.
As if the headmaster's speech on the podium that felt like it would last forever had ended, the lights inside the auditorium were turned back on brightly.
"Hey, Ciel."
"Y, Yeah?"
"By any chance, how long was I asleep."
Judging by the situation, it didn't look like the entrance ceremony was over.
Then that would mean only the speech had ended.
No matter how I looked at it, he hadn't seemed like the type to stop after just thirty minutes.
"Umm.... Probably a little over an hour? The headmaster-nim's speech finished a while ago, and they said the freshman top representative oath is taking place right now."
"......."
An hour, huh.
There was no way the fatigue from fighting for days on end without sleep would be resolved by merely an hour of sleep.
Still, perhaps thanks to closing my eyes even for a brief moment, my head felt clearer than before.
"Right. Thanks for telling me...."
Woowoong.
[Next will be the representative oath by this year's freshman top student, student Lucia de Valois.]
At the sound of the magical loudspeaker echoing from the podium, I stopped mid-sentence and froze.
'...The top student is who?'
Unless my ears had gone crazy or I had misheard nonsense, there was no doubt about it.
Lucia de Valois.
That was the name of the heroine who picked a fight with me before coming to the main auditorium, claiming my necktie was crooked.
"Ah."
I had completely forgotten that she was the top student.
Jeobeok. Jeobeok.
"Ooh...!"
"The top student was the young lady of the Duchy of Valois?"
"She's truly beautiful...."
"Whoa, they're huge...."
The freshmen sitting around let out exclamations in unison, focusing their gazes toward the podium.
Narrowing my eyes and looking forward as well, I saw Lucia, neatly dressed in her school uniform, stepping up onto the podium with an elegant gait.
Her hair dazzlingly radiant in golden light, an upright posture without the slightest error, and an expression brimming with grace.
To the point of creating the illusion that the entire auditorium brightened the moment she appeared.
Undeniably, she was exuding an overwhelming presence among everyone present.
"⋯⋯."
There was no trace whatsoever of that tomboyish figure who had engaged in a chase with me on the street just a while ago, screaming, 'Won't you stop right theeeere!'
'It does suit her.'
Setting aside her shitty personality, that is.
Because as long as she kept her mouth shut, both her looks and figure were top-tier.
[In the name of the Valois family, I swear as the freshman representative of Eldain Academy.]
Standing before the microphone, Lucia began to read down the prepared manuscript in a clear voice.
[Upholding the precepts of this academy, we shall never lose our honor and pride....]
A melodious voice, like jade beads rolling on a silver tray, filled the auditorium.
Slowly sweeping over the students in the auditorium with a relaxed smile and exchanging gazes, she was truly the epitome of a perfect top student.
Yeah, until her gaze landed on me, that is.
[To be reborn as outstanding talents of the Empire through ceaseless study and training... I swear....]
The moment Lucia's eyes, turning elegantly on the podium, locked gaze directly with me sitting crookedly in a corner seat with my chin resting on my hand.
[.......]
The clear voice that had been flowing smoothly cut off abruptly through the speakers.
"......?"
I wondered if it might just be my imagination.
'No way.'
The distance from the podium to where I was sitting should be quite far.
Could it even make sense that she's looking right at me from over there?
"......."
"......."
...Is what I tried hard to repeat to myself, but.
Our gazes were undeniably entangled midair.
Despite the considerable distance between the podium and the corner of the auditorium, I could be certain.
That woman just saw me.
'Oops.'
I reflexively ducked my head and hid behind the back of the person in front of me, but it was already far too late.
[Th, Th, That...!]
Through the microphone, a ragged breath mixed with fluster and rage resounded loudly across the entire main auditorium.
"...Oh my. What is going on?"
"Why is she suddenly acting like that? Did she forget her manuscript?"
"For that, it looks more like she's glaring at somewhere, though...."
As the perfect atmosphere shattered with her outcry, murmurs began spreading across the hall like a wave.
It was to the point where even the faculty seated below the podium looked at one another in bewilderment.
"Um.... The top student's acting strange.... Could it be that she's looking at you, Han?"
"It must be your imagination. How could a high-and-mighty person know a country bumpkin like me?"
I shamelessly retorted and feigned ignorance, but.
Ududeuk!
Through the microphone came the sound of something being squeezed so tightly it was about to break.
Slightly raising my head to check the podium, I saw Lucia gripping the lectern with both hands so hard that veins were bulging.
Her shoulders trembling violently.
The elegant smile that had seemed like a saint descending from heaven just moments ago had vanished.
In its place was the expression of a rakshasa looking ready to leap down from the podium this instant and tear out my throat.
'Wow. Look at that temper.'
Anyone watching would think I was her family's mortal enemy.
Is simply ignoring a comment about a necktie really something to get that pissed off about?
"A, Ahem...!"
As the atmosphere turned ominous, a man standing behind her who appeared to be a professor coughed dryly, giving her a hint.
Only then realizing that she was standing before countless students and professors, Lucia was startled and managed her expression.
However, her voice, already steeped in intense venom, was a far cry from the rolling jade beads at the start.
[......To be reborn as outstanding talents! In the name of Eldain and Valois! I solemnly swea... swear as such!]
A bloodthirsty intonation that was practically a declaration of war.
At the final 'I swear' part, she even gritted her teeth and spat it out while glaring straight at me.
...One might say it was a sight where a determination to kill me at all costs could be felt.
'Wow. Fucking terrifying.'
"Waaaaah!"
"As expected of the Duchy of Valois! What incredible spirit!"
"So cool!"
The clueless freshmen, mistaking her murderous aura for pure passion toward academics, poured out thunderous applause.
Jjak-jjak-jjak-jjak!
"......."
Amidst the roaring applause, right until she stepped down from the podium, Lucia never took her eyes off me—eyes that seemed to say, 'Just you wait until later.'
'I really should have held back.'
I quietly held my forehead.