1. You Said You'd Send Me Home
1. You Said You'd Send Me Home
"──────!"
An abyss with nothing in it.
Or perhaps a space that could be called a bottomless pit.
"Die, you bastard."
That he couldn't die.
That it couldn't end like this.
Whether he wanted to say that or was just making a final desperate struggle.
"─I will never forget you! Even after death─!"
Kwajik!
"Go ahead and curse me."
With an expressionless face, I look at the spot where the Demon King had stood until the very end before vanishing without even letting out a brief death scream or leaving a trace of a body.
As if it were a lie that just a moment ago we were fighting each other with our lives on the line.
Because no matter how hard I rubbed my eyes and looked, not a trace of the guy could be found.
"⋯⋯."
If I hadn't known that where I am right now is some kind of rift in dimensions.
It was to the point where I might have thought it was just a dog dream, so that says it all.
"Should've just died quietly, jeez⋯."
My head was dazed.
Blood-soaked, disheveled hair.
Eyes closing from exhaustion after fighting for days on end without sleep.
To even scratch the Demon King's body that showed no signs of dying, I pulled out every last ounce of my strength, resulting in magic power that was completely depleted and a body beaten to a pulp after fighting to the limit.
It was a miracle I hadn't passed out on the spot, but I couldn't collapse like this.
Because I still had work left to do.
"Hey, you fucking bitch. Come out now."
The spot where the Demon King had died and vanished.
Inside this bizarre alternative space, it seemed certain there wasn't a hair's breadth of life besides me.
Even so.
I still shouted into the empty air with a voice full of certainty.
"I know you're slyly hiding and watching. I said come out."
Seuseuseu.
"⋯Ahem. Congratulations, Hero-nim. You have finally defeated the Demon King."
Indeed, just as expected.
From between the space I was glaring at.
The figure of someone slowly began to reveal itself.
Silky smooth, softly flowing platinum blonde hair.
A pretty appearance that could steal the hearts of any man just by looking at her.
"You're still walking around dressed like a whore, I see."
"⋯Ugh."
The shadow dressed in clothes with such excessive side slits that one might mistake her for a tavern prostitute—the goddess Serenoa—said with a face flushed red.
"Th-the defeat of the Demon King who threatened the continent was all... if not for your help, Hero⋯."
Struggling to pull together her face that had turned bright red with shame.
As the goddess, Serenoa, cleared her throat and continued adding unnecessary fluff, the back of my neck began to throb with irritation.
"Haa⋯."
I'm already tired to death from fighting without sleep.
She should just hurry up and send me back like she promised.
What kind of bullshit is this?
"Hey, you fucking bitch. Even if you don't say it, I know I went through hell, alright? So now just send me back home."
"⋯Th-therefore, to honor your commendation for saving the world⋯."
Look at this.
This damn thing is straight up ignoring me now?
"Hey. Answer me. Answer me!"
Wak!
"⋯Kuh, I-I got it. I got it already⋯!"
Only after my temper flared up and I marched right up to that damn goddess bitch's face and yelled at her did it seem too hard for her to ignore me any longer, and I finally got an answer out of her.
"If you got it, then hurry up and open it. Just thinking about how I suffered like a dog here for years because of you makes me jump awake from my sleep even now, you know?"
What's the point in hiding it?
This shitty world I possessed was from a dog-shit game called 'Eldain Academy Saga', which aimed for a romantic comedy while adding hardcore difficulty and mechanics.
Of course, even though "Academy" was in the title.
Due to high freedom that wasn't strictly confined to the academy and the characters' flashy appearances, it had received immense expectation and attention from players before launch, but.
'Isn't this a dog-shit game?'
As soon as it opened, users who rushed to play the game didn't take long to realize that it was a dog-shit trash game of the century.
A crazy difficulty so spiteful it practically radiated malice.
A disastrous balance that seemed to have fed fairness to the dogs.
Even endings that quickly plunged into a bad ending if you focused solely on romance while pitching itself as a romantic comedy.
It was a game rated as garbage by every single player, to the point where one would seriously want to go find the creator and ask if they actually made this for people to play, but.
"⋯...."
If there was one important problem, yeah.
The fact that I was trapped inside that dog-shit game?
No, I wouldn't even complain if I had played the game to the end.
'...Ah, this is so damn boring.'
Because I had only played it briefly out of boredom and then quit.
In fact, quitting after playing just the very beginning was all I did.
Why the hell was I transmigrated into here?
"...⋯."
'Sigh. What's the point of lamenting now?'
It's already a finished matter.
Either way, the Demon King has been defeated, and all I have to do now is go back.
Before leaving, if there was at least one regret.
That after going through the trouble of transmigrating into a game world.
I had never stepped foot into the academy even once.
Even though the academy was the main stage of a game that ostensibly promoted romantic comedy.
In order to escape this fucking world as quickly as possible, forget the academy, I hadn't even gone anywhere near it.
Naturally, I had never met a single common heroine even once.
Because all I did was act to squeeze out maximum efficiency in the minimum amount of time.
"...⋯."
If someone with flower fields for a brain heard my story, they might say I was being too harsh, wouldn't they?
'Even so, as a game transmigration protagonist that you've only read about in novels, couldn't you meet some heroines and enjoy it a bit?'
'Enjoy my ass.'
I had nothing to flex or brag about.
When I went through every kind of suffering just to survive in this crazy world, do you think I could've enjoyed it?
"...⋯."
'It's all done now. Let me go back.'
"B-but Hero-nim? Since you've defeated the Demon King, do you have any thoughts of living happily in this world now⋯."
Happy my ass.
You fucking bitch, do you want to spend all day covered in blood fighting monsters here? See if you'd feel happy?
"Forget it, open it."
When I spoke in a razor-sharp tone that signaled I wouldn't repeat myself, the goddess, overwhelmed by the momentum, hurriedly nodded and waved her hand while eating crow.
Indeed. Even if she dressed like a whore, a god was still a god; when I came in here chasing the Demon King, I had to use force to rip open space.
Right around the time I was genuinely admiring how she lightly swung open the door like flipping her palm.
The space in front of my eyes flickered, creating a giant pathway of light.
"⋯⋯."
Finally.
My long, long life in this place.
Now I can put a period to it and return.
As I quietly closed my eyes, the classic episodes of suffering I went through in days past flashed through my head like a gem-studded nightmare.
Nearly dying after falling into a trap.
Suffering because the village I stopped at to warm my body happened to be a Demon King worshipping cult.
Being hit by the magic of one of the Four Heavenly Kings and being gender-bent for a few days, and so on.
Things horrifying just to imagine kept popping up constantly, but now it's all over.
Goodbye without any further entanglements.
Forgetting all of the past and having defeated the final boss of this tiresome dog-shit game, I'm now returning to the home I missed so much.
"⋯You have truly worked hard all this time, Hero-nim."
Stiffened.
While walking away without lingering regrets and a refreshed face, I paused for a moment at the pathetic-sounding voice of that damn thing—no, the goddess—speaking as if grabbing onto me from the side, but.
"Yeah."
Maybe it was because I thought I'd never have to see that face that was merely pretty ever again.
Though I had half a mind to spit a few curses at her before leaving, thinking it was the end anyway, I just nodded my head and threw my body into the light without hesitation.
"⋯What? Eek! Yo-you're joking⋯. I-I'll die!"
Before my field of vision turned completely white.
It felt like I faintly heard the flustered voice of that rotten bitch from behind, but.
It was probably misheard or a delusion.
'I'm going back.'
To my beloved home.
*
When the white light that had painted the whole world slowly faded away, and my vision gradually returned.
What appeared in front of me was.
Not the middle of Seoul's night view that I had yearned for and longed for so much⋯
"⋯⋯?"
⋯but a somewhat familiar place catching my eye.
The ruins of the Demon King's Castle towering to pierce the sky.
And even the familiar sights visible beyond that.
"⋯What?"
Fuck, what the hell is happening?
I should've returned to my hometown long ago, so why am I still here?
"Hey, Serenoa! Hey, you fucking bitch! This isn't the place!"
I told you to send me home.
Why the hell did you send me back here, you damn bitch!
I screamed at the top of my lungs at the damn goddess who was clearly watching from somewhere, but no answer came back.
I clearly thought that entering that light meant it was the end.
The days where I couldn't sleep peacefully out of fear I might die, and the battlefields reeking of blood.
And even that damn goddess bitch who smirked around dressed no different from a whore.
I thought it was goodbye to all of it!
"This is seriously so fucking trash, shit⋯."
When I transmigrated into this retarded, piece-of-shit dog game.
'If you defeat the Demon King, I will return you to your original world.'
Didn't that dog-like goddess bitch clearly say that?
That she would send me back to the real world if I defeated the Demon King.
So what the hell is this right now?
What is this supposed to be, you damn goddess bitch!
"⋯Kuh."
Kugugugung.
"Khe-khe-khe⋯."
Was it because all hope had disappeared into bubbles?
Pajik! Pajijik!
My held-back patience hit rock bottom, and magic power began to go berserk.
If that bitch isn't going to send me back, then I have an idea of my own.
"...So you're not gonna show yourself, huh? Fine, good. Then this time, I'll slaughter every single thing. Let me see if you still won't come out after that."
Even if I had to draw upon life force I didn't even fully use up when fighting the Demon King.
I was planning to shatter everything living on this land.
Just as another Demon King was about to be born into the world.
[Ex-excuse me.... Hero-nim? Please calm down and listen to what I have to say!]
A terrified voice echoing inside my head.
It was Serenoa, that damn whore bitch's telepathy.
"Calm down? Caaalm down? Do I look like I can calm down right now? Hey, where the hell is this? Is this Gangnam Station? Or is it the convenience store in front of my house?"
"Th-there? G-Gangnam Station? C-Convenience store? What does that⋯."
"Why am I back here again, you retarded bitch!"
Bbaek!
At her frustratingly clueless words.
Unable to take it any longer, when I screamed at the top of my lungs.
[That is... I-I was going to tell you earlier, but Hero-nim screamed so terrifyingly that... I guess I missed the timing...?]
"Timing? Are you playing a timing game with me right now? Should I do a sword dance this time instead of the Demon King?"
[No, it's not that! There are laws of the world, you see? Especially the system governing our world is surprisingly strict... so th-things don't just end by killing the Demon King!]
Ah.
"⋯Ha."
Whenever words like system or laws came up, along with an ominous feeling, the back of my neck grew beyond stiff and turned ice cold.
"Hey."
[...]
"Whore bitch. Answer me."
[H-Hero-nim? I-I'm not a whore, I'm a goddess⋯.]
Bullshit.
Goddess my ass when wearing that kind of trash outfit. She must have misspoken for prostitute.
"I don't give a damn about that. You said it's over if I kill the Demon King. You said you'd send me home if I took down the final boss."
[I-I will send you! Of course I must send you! B-but... there is one remaining procedure. A very minor, fun step that everyone should go through at least once... a stage of dreams and hope?]
As the nonsense continued, the goddess's voice crept smaller and smaller, and my expression listening to it also gradually turned frigid.
Grinding my teeth tightly, I asked.
"What. What is that minor thing."
[...Graduating from the academy.]
Haaah?
"⋯What?"
[Unless you graduate from the a-academy and only defeat the Demon King, it says it's not the righteous path but heresy or something, so it won't send you back...]
"⋯⋯."
[H-Hieek⋯! The system thinks that since you came to an isekai, attending the academy, defeating the Demon King, and dating is the standard way. B-but because Hero-nim cared only about efficiency and skipped all the middle steps to head-slice the D-Demon King first....]
To be honest, halfway through, what that whore bitch was saying didn't enter my ears at all.
My mind just turned completely blank.
Efficiency? Yeah, I prioritized efficiency.
While me being Korean was one of the many reasons.
It was because I wanted to get out of this dog-shit game even a single day sooner.
So, relying on what remained somewhere in my memory.
Based on the information I had casually picked up from community forums, I snatched up all the secret opportunities I could remember.
Ignoring all the heroines and everything else, I just leveled up and headed straight for the Demon King's Castle. That was all.
And that turned into poison?
I have to graduate from the academy to be sent home?
Are you fucking playing with me right now, bitch?
[H-Hieek! Coincidentally, r-right now is the exact admission season, you know!?]
"..."
That was probably true.
Since I was summoned to this world 3 years too early.
I didn't intend to time it, but whether to call it good luck or bad luck.
Thanks to that, today happened to be the timing when the player would originally enter the academy.
[The Demon King is d-dead too, so you can just enjoy school life in a peaceful atmosphere, r-right? As soon as you get your diploma, I'll send Hero-nim home right away! Promise!]
"Hey."
[Y-Yes!]
"⋯⋯."
Huuu.
I craved a cigarette particularly badly today.
Though there was never a day I didn't crave one in this damn world.
"You know how many years I rolled around struggling to beat the Demon King⋯ right?"
[I-I know! There's no way I don't know how much you suffered!]
"Then you should know. How old am I right now, and you're telling me to enter an academy where little kids play?"
3 years. It had already been 3 years since I came to this damn world.
My age, which was 25, was now 28.
For a university student, it's an age where one would have been discharged from the military, been in their senior year, or even entered a decent company and become an ordinary office worker.
[A-Ayy. Hero-nim's appearance is still in your late teens, you know? I even gave you revelations again, you see? So if you check the details⋯ Ahaha....]
Late teens my ass.
Because I've never heard that kind of bullshit even once when I was in my original world, okay?
The moment I let the laughter of that whore bitch, who was spouting obvious bullshit anyone could see through, pass through one ear, a semi-transparent window floated up before my eyes.
[Main Quest: Towards the True Ending]
Details: Enroll in Eldain Academy, spend a rewarding school life, and graduate! (Dating is strongly recommended!)
Reward: Return to your original world :)
"⋯...."
Academy? Romance?
After coming back from fighting a blood-splattered war with the Demon King's forces, you're telling me to play house with little brats now?
Kkudeudeok.
The blood pressure I had been holding back exploded. I flipped off the sky with my middle finger, veins bulging on my neck, and bellowed at the top of my lungs.
"Hey, you fucking bitch!!!"