A Tipsy Demon King and a Bunch of Fools
“What are you doing? Cheers!”
“Come on, cheers!”
“……”
“What are you doing? Cheers!”
I’d deliberately stayed quiet, thinking that if I didn’t join in the toasts I might end up drinking less. But once she started nagging, I had no choice. With a helpless sigh, I clinked my glass against hers.
While I sipped my drink slowly, Ilena had already emptied two full glasses and was now working on her third. In the middle of all that, Dipe was quietly and steadily focused only on her food, completely unbothered by Ilena’s steadily rising volume. That kid really is something else.
“You okay?”
“Ehehe… Obviously I’m fine! Why are you even asking something like that!”
“Yeah, I guess I asked something pointless. It’s a well-known fact that drunk people never admit they’re drunk.”
With the alcohol hitting her system, Ilena was shouting without any concern for her throat. The people around us who had first clapped and praised her for holding her liquor so well were now watching with worried eyes.
It was a relief that the beer tasted better than I’d expected. But maybe it was because I was watching Ilena act like this right in front of me—somehow the beer seemed to carry a much more bitter aftertaste than before.
“This is my fault. I knew drinking on an empty stomach could taste good, but I never imagined you’d take it this seriously.”
“Your fault? Yeah, this is all your fault!”
The moment she heard me say I was at fault, Ilena nodded naturally, as if she wanted me to reflect on all the terrible things I’d done.
“I used to live without a single worry. But because you went and spared me for no reason, my head’s been a mess ever since.”
What was she even talking about? It was true that I hadn’t killed her and had let her live. But she was calling that “for no reason”?
No matter how drunk she was, this seemed like something I needed to hear.
“Are you saying I was wrong to spare you?”
“That’s right! If you hadn’t, at least my head might not hurt like this!”
“Hmm… I wasn’t planning to drink any more, but…”
I lifted my glass and downed the rest of the beer in one go.
“Oh, you can drink pretty well too.”
“I was only going to have one glass, but thanks to someone, I suddenly felt like drinking more.”
“Who’s that someone?”
“……”
I really hope she remembers this moment even after she sobers up. I’m going to tease her about it nonstop.
When I quietly raised my hand, the quick-witted innkeeper immediately noticed and came over.
“Did you call, sir?”
“One more glass, please.”
“Yes, thank you! It makes running this place worthwhile when customers enjoy the good beer I brought in with great effort!”
“Me too!”
Ilena stopped the innkeeper just as he was about to take my glass to refill it.
“Give me one more too.”
“Of course, thank you… Hm?”
The innkeeper paused as he reached for Ilena’s glass.
“But your glass is still more than half full?”
“Still… give me more…!”
“Whoa, you really are quite drunk.”
The innkeeper set Ilena’s glass back down.
“I appreciate that you’re enjoying it, but please finish your current glass before ordering another.”
“Hiiing…”
Good grief, now she was even throwing a tantrum in that nasal, whiny voice. Please, let this memory stay with me forever!
The innkeeper quickly refilled my glass and returned.
“Here’s your next one. Please don’t overdo it.”
“Thank you. Though it looks like my companion has already crossed a river she can’t come back from.”
“Since you’ve taken a room upstairs, there shouldn’t be any problem. Please take good care of her, sir!”
As the innkeeper returned to his station, he gave me a meaningful look. Both Mother and this man—older people really do love meddling in the same way.
“Anyway, I want to hear more about that.”
“About what?”
“The part where you said your head hurts because I spared you.”
“……”
Ilena stared at me blankly, then without answering, she gulped down the half-glass of beer that remained.
“You want more? Innkeeper, over here—”
“Nuh-uh!”
Ilena shook her head to say no.
“Why not? Since we’re already like this, you might as well drink to your heart’s content.”
“We have to save money.”
“You’ve already ordered three glasses and now you’re worried about money? I can cover this much, so just relax and—”
Ilena snapped her fingers. Even that lacked strength, so the snap barely made a sound, but the empty glass in front of her began to fill with beer again.
“Oh…”
I glanced around, but thankfully no one seemed to have noticed that Ilena had used magic to refill her drink.
“I’m curious what magic-made beer tastes like.”
“Want to try some?”
Ilena held her glass out to me. I was a little nervous since it wasn’t properly brewed beer but something conjured by magic. Still, I didn’t think Ilena would offer me anything poisonous.
I took the glass and took a small sip. It tasted exactly like the beer I’d been drinking.
“It’s the same? That’s amazing.”
“Ehehe… Is it good? I’m glad.”
“Y-yeah.”
She’d been angry at me earlier, saying it was all my fault, and now she was giggling like an idiot. I was incredibly relieved that I wasn’t a lightweight when it came to alcohol. I shuddered to think what would have happened if Ilena had come to the market town alone and started drinking beer without me.
Just then, her excitement seemed to have calmed down a little, so I didn’t miss the chance.
“So what did you mean when you said your head hurts because of me?”
“Mmm… It’s because I started thinking. Because of you.”
“Thinking?”
Ilena nodded slowly.
“I used to just do whatever Dad told me to. Gather the army, invade the human realm. I didn’t need to worry about anything or think about anything. But…”
Suddenly Ilena narrowed her eyes at me, silently downed another gulp of beer, then pointed her finger at me again.
“You. You ruined everything.”
Oh no. It looked like the excitement that had settled was rising again.
“I don’t know what I did, but I’ll apologize anyway.”
“No, you don’t have to apologize.”
“But you said it was because of me…?”
“Mmm, don’t apologize!”
Ilena shook her head vigorously at my words.
“You told me, remember? To live the life I want. That’s when I started thinking. I’d lived exactly as Dad wanted ever since I was little, and only then did I finally…”
“Wait, so that’s what you meant by your head hurting? That’s kind of anticlimactic.”
It was anticlimactic, but I was still relieved. I took a sip with a much lighter heart.
“So, what about you?”
“You were calling me ‘you’ earlier, and now you’re back to ‘you’ again. Anyway, what do you mean ‘what about you’?”
“Me.”
Ilena tapped her own cheek with her finger and asked carefully.
“How do I look?”
“You look much better now than the last time I saw you. Back then you really did seem like a puppet just following orders. Now you look like an actual person.”
“A puppet? A puppet means…”
Apparently satisfied with what I’d said, Ilena broke into a wide grin.
“So you’re saying I look pretty?”
How does she always manage to twist my words like that? Still, she didn’t seem to know what “go all out” meant, but she understood “puppet.” I had no idea how she’d studied the vocabulary of the human world. But saying she looked pretty wasn’t wrong. Her face, now relaxed instead of twisted in a scowl like when we fought, definitely looked better.
Thanks to clearing up the misunderstanding, my mood improved a bit too, so I decided to play along with her drunken state.
“Yeah. You look pretty.”
“Ehehe, really?”
“Really. In fact, even a doll couldn’t match your pretty face.”
“……Ugh.”
Ilena let out a strange little sound and stayed quiet for a while. Then she lifted her glass to her lips as if to drink more, but stopped and set it down again.
“Why did you stop?”
“……”
Ilena suddenly stood up from her seat.
“I’m going to get some air.”
Her voice had completely sobered up.
“I think I drank too much.”
“I’m glad you realized it now. Want me to go with you?”
“No, you stay here. I’ll go alone.”
“No way. You drank a lot, just like you said. I’ll put Dipe to bed first, so just sit here quietly and wait a bit.”
Ilena obediently nodded and sat back down.
Dipe had eaten her fill and was now dozing off, but when I moved to pick her up, she shifted her body to make it easier for me to hold her. Just as I stood up with Dipe in my arms—
“Hey.”
“What?”
“……Come back quickly. I’ll be waiting.”
“Okay, I’ll be right back.”
I hurried my steps, not wanting to keep the Demon King waiting.
I opened the door to our room and gently laid Dipe down on the soft, fluffy bed. After tucking her in warmly and gently stroking her belly, she fell asleep right away. But just as I was about to leave the room, loud laughter erupted from downstairs. When I saw Dipe frown slightly at the noise, I couldn’t just leave her like that.
Come to think of it, I forgot to ask for a soundproofing spell. No, with Ilena in this state right now, it’d be awkward to bring her up here and ask anyway…
Trusting the perceptive innkeeper, I opened the small drawer beside the bed. Just as I’d hoped, a pair of small earplugs was inside. I carefully placed them in both of Dipe’s ears. Her previously uncomfortable expression quickly relaxed.
“Sleep well, sweetheart.”
I gave her belly one last gentle pat and left the room.
But the noise coming from downstairs was far from normal.
“Y-you brats! Stop that!”
“The old man has nothing to do with this. Get lost. Hey, why don’t you come out and play with us? We’ll show you a much better time than that guy ever could.”
It looked like some worthless thugs were harassing a woman. The way the innkeeper called them “you brats” suggested they were locals. The mood was turning ugly fast. Rather than let it ruin our rare good time, I should grab Ilena and get outside quickly.
“I said get out! Can’t you hear me? Huh?!”
When I came down the stairs, I could see the situation more clearly. A group of thugs had surrounded one person and were threatening her. And the one in the middle was…
Oh dear. It’s a good thing those idiots are still alive.
The person the thugs had surrounded was none other than the Demon King they had nearly driven to extinction.