The Heavenly Demon Prepares (2)

It wasn't just that. The gazes of several other students were also fixed on me. The emotions contained in them seemed to be a mixture of curiosity and reproach.

"I'll say it again. The first paragraph on page 172. Could you read it for us?"

Oh no. I'd been so lost in thought that I hadn't even heard the teacher's voice. Where was page 172? As I hurriedly flipped through the book, Enry discreetly slid hers toward me. The way she pointed exactly to the right spot with her finger revealed her thoughtful consideration.

"Having reached this day..."

Having studied for quite some time now, I no longer hesitated over most characters. After I finished reading the entire paragraph and closed my mouth, the teacher praised my reading but admonished me to focus during class.

I suppose I've caused some inconvenience. I did have a lot on my mind, after all.

Shaking off the stray thoughts, I turned my gaze back to the blackboard. At that moment, a scratching sound rose from below me. Enry was writing something on my book.

What could it be this time? She often started these little exchanges, so I quietly lowered my eyes.

My answer must not have satisfied her, because Enry immediately wrote another line beneath it. This kid. Hadn't I said I had no intention of telling her? I shot her a glare, but Enry didn't shrink back in the slightest. She was overflowing with energy in the most useless places. Was it because she usually had nowhere to use her strength? Perhaps I should personally create a place where she could expend her energy to her heart's content.

"You two over there?"

The teacher had been watching us closely and didn't miss our misbehavior. After receiving a scolding from her, Enry and I turned our eyes back to the blackboard.

"So what had you so deep in thought today?"

Was that the first thing she said the moment class ended? This kid. She really was persistent.

"Do you have to pry so much about what I'm hiding?"

"Worries are supposed to get lighter when you share them!!"

Good grief. She was like a religious zealot. At this rate she might shave her head and enter a temple.

"I may not look it, but I once wanted to become a priest. I can at least hear your confession!"

Enry made the sign of the cross and tried to look solemn, yet I couldn't sense even the slightest trace of piety in it. This kid. What a joke.

"I thought only men could become priests in the church?"

"The Anglican Church recognizes female priests too. There aren't many, but they do."

...Huh? Was that true? I turned on my smartphone and looked it up. It was real. In the Anglican Communion that existed in ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠England, they granted women the position of priest.

If that was the case... No. Even then, I couldn't believe it. There was no way a frivolous person like Enry would suit a solemn role like priest!

"I can't believe it."

"I'm telling the truth?!"

"Lies."

"Even though I dropped out in my second year of seminary, it's true that I almost became a priest!"

Enry tried to prove herself by reciting Bible verses and hymns, but none of it meant anything to me. Did she think I would recognize any of them? My memories of the church only went back to before my reincarnation. And even then, I had been far from a devout person. There was no way I would remember anything about religion.

"Please believe me..."

"Even if what you said is true, isn't it strange for a priest to force confessions out of people?"

"I only ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠almost became one. I didn't actually become a priest, so it's fine."

You've got some nerve. And yet you still ask me to share my worries with you? There is a limit to shamelessness.

Hmm. Assuming it was true that she attended seminary, she must have studied faith. When I lived in Murim, religion was nothing but blind devotion. While believers were encouraged to study their religion, doubting and researching it was considered blasphemous. Therefore, no one had ever conducted a dense, scholarly examination of faith. Everyone simply believed and followed.

Naturally, there had been no one who could resolve the worries I carried. But modern times were different. Faith had been dismantled, transformed, and rebuilt by countless pioneers. If Enry had studied it, she might be able to give me an answer.

Shall I ask, then? Speaking a few words wouldn't cause any loss.

"Enry. This might be a rather irreverent question."

"It's fine! I haven't been to church in years anyway!"

Did you know? The credibility of everything you are about to say just plummeted because of that single sentence.

I felt like I shouldn't have brought it up, but it was too late to take the words back. Since it had come to this, I might as well listen to her answer. If it sounded like nonsense, I could simply let ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠it go in one ear and out the other.

"How can one eliminate faith?"

The moment Enry heard my question, she blinked several times. Had I asked something too abstract? Still, there was nothing I could do. I couldn't possibly explain my circumstances in detail. Anyone who didn't know the situation would probably just tell me I was crazy if I said I felt like I might become an object of blind worship.

"I don't know the details, but could you answer just one thing?"

"If it's something I can answer."

"It's not about major religions like Christianity or Buddhism, right?"

"No."

"That's all I needed."

Unlike her usual self, Enry wore a serious expression and pondered for a long time. Well, even I, who had agonized over it for a while, couldn't produce a refreshing answer. I told her she didn't need to think too deeply, but Enry shook her head. She only opened her mouth after most of the students had left the classroom.

"Since I don't know the exact circumstances, I'll speak freely."

"Yes. That's fine."

"In my opinion, faith begins in ignorance. The fear and awe toward things one doesn't understand become faith."

In the past, people worshipped lightning. It was an overwhelming violence they could not comprehend. But now that it has been revealed as nothing more than a natural phenomenon, no one worships lightning.

People in the past worshipped the sun. They saw the sunlight pouring from the sky as the sun's blessing. But now that it is known to be merely a star, no one worships the sun.

"The sun and lightning are still overwhelming from a human perspective. Yet we don't worship them."

"That's right."

"Because we understand them well. Think about it. Could you worship the unemployed man next door who always drags his slippers, wears a yellow tank top, scratches his belly while smoking cigarettes, even if he possessed omnipotent power?"

I couldn't. I wouldn't want to acknowledge something like that as a god.

"Even without such extreme examples, if a friend beside you gained power, or a younger sibling you knew turned out to be an incredible being, you wouldn't worship them. They're too familiar. You know too much about them. Faith requires mystery. The moment the mystery disappears, faith loses its power."

I roughly understood what she was saying. If the other party was not an omniscient and omnipotent being but a familiar existence nearby, one could not worship them. In other words, to eliminate the faith directed toward me, I needed to let people know what kind of human I truly was. If they learned about the petty and vulgar Baek Ara instead of the Heavenly Demon Baek Hwaryeong, they would not worship me.

There was no guarantee her words were absolutely correct, but they were worth trying. Enry was right. Sharing worries really did make them lighter. It was still daunting, but the weight of having no answer and the weight of having a path forward were completely different.

"Does this answer your question?"

"Yes. It really does seem like you attended seminary, Enry."

"You still didn't believe me?!"

"It's just hard to imagine you standing there looking solemn."

Enry shouted that she could be serious when the situation called for it, but since I had only ever seen her carefree side, I couldn't agree. After throwing a tantrum until she ran out of breath, she sighed and changed the subject while slinging her bag over her shoulder.

"Anyway, tell me about the Heavenly Demon Martial Arts Tournament."

"Did you watch it too, Enry?"

"On replay. Ara, you were straight-up massacring them."

"It's because the people who appeared were weak."

"They're all way better than me."

"And you're much weaker than them."

Seeing Enry frown while unable to deny it made a chuckle slip out of me.

I thought about the best way to make the person known as me known to the public. Writing a book was impossible. I had no talent for writing, and even if I did, no one would read it.

Becoming a celebrity was also out of the question. I didn't possess the charm to captivate the masses. After considering various other methods, the best option seemed to be broadcasting, just like Enry.

Internet broadcasting was an excellent means of informing people about who I was. Since everything I did would be transmitted live, viewers would inevitably come to know the human called me.

Above all, the fact that I found broadcasting itself interesting influenced my decision. From my previous appearances on Enry and Decay's streams, I had realized that broadcasting was enjoyable. Do you know how precious are those who throw disrespectful words without fearing me?

Of course, there had been people in Murim who provoked me as well. However, they all did so while hiding their fear of me, sharpening their tongues to conceal it. If I had to compare, they were like cats puffing up their fur in fright. That wasn't disrespect—it was a desperate struggle.

But the viewers were different. Relying on internet anonymity, they committed rudeness toward me without any burden. I liked that. I liked the words casually tossed out without fear or reverence.

After deciding to broadcast and mentioning it to Enry to ask for advice...

"I knew you'd say that someday."

...came the reply. It seemed my fondness for broadcasting had been obvious.

"If you start streaming, Ara, you'll succeed. You're already at the center of every topic, and the number of people who follow any broadcast you appear on is enormous. You'll establish yourself quickly."

"You think so?"

"Normally I'd ask if you have your own content, but since you yourself are the content, there's no need for that question."

After speaking for a while, Enry continued with a "However..."

"However, since I make my living through broadcasting, I want to discourage you as much as possible. Living as a streamer isn't easy. It gnaws away at your mind every single day. A lot of people end up with mental health issues, and there are times when you feel like you'd rather die than turn on the stream but have no choice but to do it. Crazy people might follow you around like they did with me before."

"It's fine."

As I always say, I am a person more accustomed to hostility than goodwill. If I were someone who would collapse from others' actions, I would have been buried in some remote mountain in Murim long ago. There is no need to worry. I may shake, but I will not collapse. I have endured far too many storms for that.

"I am a much stronger person than you think, Enry."

There is a reason I have survived until now.