The Heavenly Demon's Cat-Eared Maid Penalty (2)

Cat ears? Maid? When something from a field I knew nothing about appeared, I stood there blankly as the chat window exploded into chaos.

So what exactly was a maid café, and what on earth was a cat-eared maid? First I needed to figure out what a “maid” even was. A quick internet search gave immediate results. Hmm. So it was the Western concept of a housemaid. People who handled all the miscellaneous chores around the house in your stead. The long black-and-white uniform with zero skin exposure actually looked rather nice. What could possibly be the problem with it?

A cat? Was the cat the issue? I tried picturing it. A cute, fluffy gray cat wearing a maid outfit. Hmm. That’s adorable. And if I could become that cat, would I get to stroke those soft little paw pads? What is this? How could this possibly count as a penalty? This is clearly a reward!

Just imagining it already feels blissful.

“What’s the difference between the two?”

I had no idea what they were talking about, but since they said I’d understand if I searched it, I decided to take a look. With a light heart I typed in “maid café,” only to blink at the flood of images that popped up. Hmm. Huh?

“Isn’t this completely different in nature from the maid I saw earlier?”

Where had the hardworking house servant gone, and why were these girls who looked like they existed only to fawn over others ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠appearing instead? Look at those clothes. No matter how I thought about it, they were completely impractical for any kind of labor. Why were the skirts so short? And why were there so many pointless frills and decorations? No matter how I looked at them, I could not call these girls maids!

What? I hadn’t even started yet? What did that mean? My eyes were already trembling, and there was still more shock waiting for me? I was gradually growing afraid of entering MyTube, yet avoiding it wouldn’t change what lay before me. Steel myself, I entered MyTube and searched for “maid café.” What greeted me was a woman performing the kind of exaggerated, cutesy act you’d see in a “Moe Moe Kyun☆” manga, without a shred of shame.

I had been walking down the street near the new school when I saw it. I stopped in my tracks and put my pipe to my lips. Hah. Damn it. So.

“You’re telling me that if I play this cat-eared maid game, I have to do that sort of thing?”

Enry spoke up. “Remember when I tried to give you a penalty game before, Hwaryeong? No matter what I thought of, physical challenges wouldn’t work. Same with combat games. You’d just smash whatever came out, so what would be the point? That’s when I had an idea. If I can’t torment your body, I’ll torment your mind instead!”

Enry had spent a lot of time with me. She knew exactly which parts of me would react with disgust. For example, how I hated clothes that showed a lot of skin or had too many frills. How I absolutely loathed acting frivolous or cute. So of course she could pick the thing I would hate the most.

“I was originally saving it for later, but since you insist on seeing it through to the end, I don’t have a choice!”

“Enry.” The moment I called her name with killing intent woven into my voice, she hiccupped in panic.

“Make sure to lock your doors and windows properly at night.”

Of course such defensive preparations would be meaningless, but they might at least give her some peace of mind. I smiled as I spoke, and I could see the corners of her forcibly lifted lips trembling.

“You’re… joking, right?”

“It could be a joke. Or it might not be.”

In any case, you only need to remember one thing: that I know where you live.

Whether I warned Enry or not, the viewers were simply delighted by my intense reaction. They had decided that this must be my weakness.

Damn it all. Do you people enjoy watching me suffer that much? What’s so entertaining about an old man like me writhing in agony that you’d throw your money away?! It’s not pocket change; why are you hurling tens of thousands of won around like it’s nothing! If you have that kind of money, use it for your own happiness! Ordering chicken with that cash would at least leave you with the satisfaction of a full belly and delicious food, so why are you throwing it on the ground instead!

“I apologize, but I truly cannot understand your way of thinking.”

Besides, what would you do if, by some low probability, an even worse game came up? Even if you typed “boring” and shed tears of blood, nothing would change.

“Should we stop here? It feels like things are getting too heated.”

When the flood of donation alerts finally died down, Enry cautiously spoke up. She had already taken everything there was to take, yet now she suggested stopping? This didn’t seem like her first or second time doing something like this. Hmm. On the current wheel, the highest ratios were maid and magical girl. Both were games clearly designed to humiliate me. After that came a dating sim with a bizarre name. Everything else was mediocre at best.

“Then shall we spin the roulette?!”

From the look of it, Enry planned to spin the wheel with her own hand.

“Enry. Can I not spin it myself?”

If I spun it with my hand, I could definitely pull out whatever I wanted. Even if I slipped up, I could create a wind current with Taoist magic to manipulate the result, guaranteeing the best possible outcome. If I could land a horror game or something similar to a jar-breaking game, it would be perfect.

“No way!”

“Why not? I would like to decide my own fate.”

“Because if it’s you, Hwaryeong, you’d definitely be able to force the result you want through pure skill!”

This is exactly why I dislike quick-witted people. If she had naively handed me the wheel, I could have secured a happy outcome.

“Tsk. Very well.”

To be completely honest with my current feelings, anything was acceptable as long as it wasn’t that cat-eared maid nonsense. Everything else fell within an acceptable range. There were also many points I could break through using my martial arts. But that ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠maid option would not do. No matter how I thought about it, it was not a problem I could solve without suffering humiliation. The odds were roughly one in five. The viewers had thrown an obscene amount of money. It was fine. One in five. The chance of avoiding it was far higher. While I wasn’t particularly blessed with luck, I should still be able to get through this much.

“Then I’ll spin it! Three!”

Please, just avoid the maid. Please.

“Two!”

“One! Here we go!”

Enry put her entire body into spinning the roulette, and my fate began to take shape. How long had it been since I carried such enormous tension in my heart? If I had to calculate it, I would need to look back to the very distant past. Haha. Damn it. I had wished for something new to break the boredom of my life before, but not like this!

While biting the end of my pipe and watching the wheel spin, the moment its speed began to slow I realized what my fate would be. If it slowed like that, it was definitely going to land on…

“Hwaryeong’s penalty game has been decided as Thrilling Cat-Eared Maid Adventure! I’m running away now! I need to lock the house down! Bye! Please pray for my soul!”

Hearing Enry shout in a bright voice, I gave no reply and simply exhaled a long plume of pipe smoke. There were many places I wanted to lay the blame, yet in the end this entire disaster was something I had brought upon myself. The first mistake had been mine. Summoning Enry had been mine. Everything had begun at my own hand, so getting angry would only return to me. Ah, of course I would keep my grudge against Enry deep in my heart. We shall see about this later, Enry. I am a petty and vicious man.

“Wait a moment.”

After Enry fled, I searched that bizarre title on MyTube. It seemed the cat-eared maid game had not been completely buried in obscurity; quite a few videos from people who had played it were uploaded. I picked the one with the highest view count. From the very first screen, a woman popped out.

A short skirt that barely covered half her thighs, skin exposed everywhere, and so many frills that it looked inconvenient to move in. Even at a glance, one could tell the outfit was meant to be shown to others. Atop the head of the woman wearing those clothes were a pair of cat ears.

Watching the woman beam with a bright smile, I had to admit she looked cute. She really was like a human-shaped cat full of charm. It made me think of Baru; I suddenly wanted to stroke her head.

The problem was that I would have to perform that humiliating act myself. Just imagining the scene made me unable to take my hand off my pipe. My head hurt.

In all my life I had never once acted cute toward another person, yet now I was supposed to do that?

“Since the words came from my own mouth, I suppose I must keep it.”

If it had been anything else, perhaps, but a promise made with my own lips could not be broken. Sigh. I felt like I understood the heart of a death-row inmate awaiting execution. “It’s already late today, so let’s schedule it for another day. I have things I must do.”

I needed to vent this boiling frustration in my heart on those Blood Cult bastards.