That's Not a Leg
Suddenly, Eunha burst into the room, and he shut her down with a fierce kiss. He'd told her to wait quietly outside, but it looked like that had been asking too much. On the other hand, it worked out perfectly. This proved he was a man through his actions.
When he pulled away from the kiss and glanced around, he spotted the female officer's face—frozen in shock, mouth agape. Her name was Gumiso, right? A fox beastkin with those alluring slit eyes that seemed perpetually half-closed. But why wasn't she saying anything? The dwarf-like guy next to her was the same, standing there with his jaw on the floor like a statue.
"Hey."
"...Y-yes?! Ah, th-that...! Wh-what you just did... No way...?"
"A kiss, obviously."
"A k-kiss...?! Oh my god...! Y-yes, that was a real kiss...?! S-something I've only ever seen in books, right in front of my eyes...!"
"...Don't kisses show up in dramas too?"
"What?! What kinda nonsense is that?! If a kiss appears in a drama, it's immediately classified as illegal obscenity material! Kisses are supposed to be intimate contact that even married couples only do when the man truly opens his heart, ya know! No precedents yet, but normally you'd be arrested for public indecency—arrested on the spot!"
Only then did it click why she was reacting like this. Come to think of it, in a world without proper porn, even a kiss must seem pretty intense. Did that mean people here might never see one in their lifetime if things went wrong? The mere thought was horrifying.
"Anyway, that proves I'm a man, right? So how does it work for man-on-man incidents?"
"Ah, well... In cases between men, self-defense might be recognized..."
"D-don't make me laugh! I ain't acceptin' that! No man looks like you! Right, officer?!"
"Eek... Well, that's true enough..."
The dwarf-like guy flew into a frenzy at the mention of possible self-defense, screaming his head off. If he looked feminine, Sihoo might understand, but getting his manhood denied with this build felt downright weird. But he wasn't the only one thinking that—the officer, Gumiso, looked conflicted too. Seeing it, the dwarf assumed she was on his side and yelled even louder at Sihoo.
"Even if ya are a man, kissin' a woman to pretend you're one?! Now I see you're just a pretty-faced lunatic! What're you waitin' for, officer?! Add violence and fraud—throw him in jail!"
"Hmm... Well then, could ya maybe show some ID? Or a marriage certificate..."
"Dunno. Even if I did, you'd probably just claim it's forged."
"Th-that's true too..."
In the end, it seemed nothing short of ironclad proof would convince them he was a man. Which left only one option. Steel resolve hardening, Sihoo climbed onto the desk and declared boldly.
"Fine. Then for the next five minutes...! I'll show undeniable proof that I'm a man."
"Huh? No, what're you— Oh my god?! Wh-what're ya doin', what're ya doin'—! P-pull up yer pants, quick! Hurry up and pull 'em up—!!"
Pants down!!
2.
"Too bad. I really wanted to try that at least once."
"No way in hell ya can! I almost ended up in jail myself, ya know!"
In the end, Sihoo's plan was thwarted by Gumiso's desperate intervention. Sihoo looked disappointed, while she still seemed utterly rattled. But that outrageous stunt had an unexpected effect.
Th-this guy's insane...! How could he do somethin' so vulgar...! I-I wanna go home!
Huh? But the investigation ain't done yet.
I don't care! Figure it out yourselves! I ain't spendin' another second with that lunatic!
The man who'd been raging to throw him in jail just moments ago was now terrified and bolted first. With the situation too awkward to continue, Gumiso scratched her head and told Sihoo.
"Well... Since it turned out like this, why don'tcha head home for today? If anything comes up later, I'll give ya a call."
"Got it. If I end up beatin' that guy again, we'll meet then."
"Ah, please... I'd rather not be the one handlin' that case. And ya really oughta get a new ID made."
"I already have one."
"Not that one. There's a new kinda ID with gender certification now. Came out recent-like 'cause of women pretendin' to be men. With that, ya won't get misunderstood no more."
"Understood. I'll get one soon. So, do you believe I'm a man now?"
"To be honest, I ain't fully convinced yet, that's why I'm suggestin' it. Show me that ID next time, and I'll believe ya for sure."
Sihoo might feel wronged, but it couldn't be helped. To her eyes, he just didn't look like a man. Plus, with more women lately pretending to be men, suspicion was inevitable. Nodding as if he understood, Sihoo added one last thing before leaving.
"I see. As expected of a cop—full of suspicion. Won't believe it even after touchin' it with your own hands."
"...Huh? Wh-what d'ya mean touchin'?! I only grabbed yer pants and leg when ya were about to drop 'em, ya know!"
"That wasn't a leg."
"...Come again?"
And in that moment, Gumiso gaped at him once more. Her mind went blank, unable to even grasp what he'd meant. Even after he left, she sat there dazed for a while. When she finally snapped out of it and understood...
A silent howl escaped her lips for a good long time.
3.
With the incident wrapped up for now, Sihoo and his group finished their meal and left the restaurant. Regardless of the reasons, they'd caused a scene, so shame kept them from lingering. But separately, the owner refused their card, insisting no payment was needed. When asked why, he just promised better service next time.
Maria had a guess.
"Probably grateful. Normally, if a man causes trouble, the woman has no choice but to take it. It usually ends with him harassing her till he squeezes out all her money. Bet that was his goal."
"The more I hear, the more despicable it sounds. Sorry, you two. We couldn't even get an apology out of him."
"Eh...?! N-no, Sihoo...! I'm fine, really. I was just worried you got hurt by that bas— that guy..."
"I'm okay too. It was kinda tough at first... but Sihoo sendin' him flyin' felt refreshin'."
"Good to hear. Still, if we run into him again, I'll make sure to get that apology."
"Hehe... Thanks just for sayin' that. Oh, if you're free, wanna drop by Yuna and Harin's?"
"Now? Hmm..."
As Sihoo pondered Maria's invitation, Eunha gripped his arm a bit tighter, shooting him a meaningful glance. Catching it, he replied.
"Sorry, can't do that. How about buyin' some ice cream and droppin' it off instead?"
"Ice cream? Sure, let's do that."
They stopped by a mart for ice cream on the way. While browsing for anything else they needed, Maria sidled up to Sihoo, hesitant yet purposeful. Seeing her waver, he spoke first.
"Truth is, I am a man."
"...You knew what I was gonna ask?"
"Was gonna tell you today anyway. That dwarf threw off the timin'. Shoulda said it sooner—sorry for the delay."
"...Nah, I get it. Everyone assumes you're a woman, so no openings. But... that wasn't the only thing I wanted to ask."
"Hmm. Somethin' else on your mind?"
"Well... Is it true? You and Eunha—you're married?"
Maria's voice trembled slightly. More than when confirming he was a man. Sihoo answered matter-of-factly, as if it were obvious.
"True. No ceremony or registry yet, but she's my wife."
"...Didn't you just meet yesterday?"
"If hearts connect, timin' doesn't matter."
"...I see. Then tell me when the weddin' is. I'll bring folks I know to celebrate."
"Hmm... Wedding. That's actually what I've been ponderin'."
"Yeah, figures. Plannin' one ain't easy..."
One by one would cost a fortune... All at once, and someone'd feel left out. But a slapdash group thing like old times? Hmm...
"Wh-what...? All at once...? You mean there's more wives besides Eunha?"
"Not yet. But livin' life, it might happen. Two, three, or even ten."
"T-ten?! Polygamy's allowed for men, sure... but no one's ever done it...?"
"Then I'll be the first."
Stunned into silence by his unflinching answer and ambition, Maria stared with wide eyes. What kinda guy is this? Yet his boldness drew her gaze naturally. Her heart, tense moments ago, now fluttered for a different reason.
"So, um... What if for the second..."
"S-Sihoo-nim...! P-pork belly's 50% off—what d'ya think?"
"No hesitation—buy it now. Two packs—no, three."
"Y-yes...! Th-there's lots more here too...! Oh! B-beef's on sale...!"
"Hold up. I'll pick myself."
Just as she geared up to continue, Eunha popped in, cutting her off. Luring Sihoo away with irresistible temptations toward her aisle. As he walked off, their eyes met—Eunha mouthing at a smiling Maria.
'Dream's over.'
She sneered mockingly too. As if that girl could do anything but smile back.
But then.
"Ah, Sihoo. Hold on."
"Hm? What's up? Kinda urgent right now."
"Hehe. Your clothes are a bit off. There, fixed. And don't just grab any cheap meat. Want help pickin'?"
"Yeah... Thanks."
Naturally turning him around, straightening his clothes, pressing close beside him. Brushing past Eunha at Sihoo's side, Maria mouthed back.
'Not a dream?'
"Grr...?!"