An Elf's Clumsy Seduction
The old saying that healthy, beautiful athletes could read each other's intentions with just a glance suddenly flashed through my mind. There was a time when I viewed that anecdote through colored glasses and doubted its truth, but not anymore. These days, after matching breaths with reliable comrades in the deadly arena known as the dungeon, I'd experienced similar phenomena more than once. Incidentally, the eye conversation I shared most often with my comrades went something like this: Stay put! Got it!
"Ah, what brings you here, Apis...?"
My bewildered gaze crossed with the nun's equally flustered one. It was only a meeting of eyes, yet I could vaguely sense that the nun and I were thinking along the same lines. The intentions—or rather, the questions—reflected in our retinas numbered three.
First, why was this elf here right now?
Second, why was her right arm broken?
Third, why was she wearing a school uniform?
"Apis. What in the world happened to you…? No, more importantly, why are you with the Sister? And what happened to your arm?"
"I got hurt. Heal me first. Questions later."
"Sigh…"
With the indifferent attitude of a convenience store clerk handing over change, Apis thrust her injured arm toward me. The swollen joint was twisted so severely it looked like it was viewing the world through a convex mirror. Some emergency treatment had been applied—herbal poultices and a splint to keep the injury from worsening—but it was nothing more than first aid. There was no question about it: her arm was in desperate need of proper medical care.
"It looks like the injury happened several hours ago… What on earth were you doing to let it get this bad…? Don’t tell me you came all the way here just for this? A wound like this could have been fixed in no time with the holy water they have on hand."
"This place is crawling with priests, so why would I need holy water? Besides, it doesn’t come free. When you can save it, you should. Pouring holy water on a measly broken arm is a bit much, don’t you think?"
"Apis. Normally, when a person breaks a bone, they’re supposed to be bedridden for months. And for something like that, it doesn’t have to be me…"
"I’d rather die than let some other human male grope my body. Especially male priests—they’re crawling with perverts who use medical treatment as an excuse to feel up women everywhere. I don’t want them laying a single fingertip on me."
"Apis… That’s a prejudice…"
I couldn’t claim there were no such shady individuals among the male priests. But as someone who had suffered considerable damage from the rumors those very people spread, her words always left a bitter taste in my heart. The reason I’d had to train my prayers to the point where I could heal others without direct physical contact was because, back when Apis had first joined our party, she had stubbornly refused to let my hands touch her body.
In the beginning, even while she had a hole punched through her somewhere, she would throw a tantrum and refuse my treatment. It gave the entire party headaches. She wasn’t some child throwing a fit about not wanting to go to the dentist. The pitiful sight of Apis screaming desperately with a face full of betrayal while pinned down by the Hero and Victim remained vivid in my memory even now.
'Father! Now is the time! This is our only chance while the Hero and I are holding Apis’s limbs down!'
'Let go! You traitors! You two! I knew it—you’re planning to do something violent to me, aren’t you!? Aren’t you! Like in those dirty books! Like in the dirty books!'
Just remembering that time made my head throb. Back then, every time I reached out to treat the injured Apis, I had to endure a thrill akin to sticking my finger into a running sewing machine.
Come to think of it, when exactly had it started? The point when Apis stopped complaining even if my hands touched her body.
"Apis… I want to treat you too, believe me. But as you know, I’m now the Saintess’s exclusive guardian priest. Without permission from the higher-ups, I can’t just treat other people as I please."
"Ah, it’s fine. I already got permission from that high person. Right?"
"Huh?"
It was then. Apis’s sly gaze shifted toward the nun sitting demurely beside her.
"Y-yes… O-of c-course… Lady Apis is a member of the Hero’s party, after all…"
Her body trembled nonstop. Her speech stuttered. Cold sweat soaked through her thin nightgown until it clung to her skin. The usual ironclad composure she wore was nowhere to be seen. The nun’s pitiful state reminded me of a mouse before a cat—truly heartbreaking.
No matter how I looked at it, she seemed to be acting this way after some kind of threat. From experience, the smart move was to avoid doing anything that might provoke Apis in her current state. For now, I decided to turn a blind eye to the nun’s situation. I’m sorry, Sister. I’ll rescue you soon. Just hold on a little longer.
"Sigh… Fine… I’ll heal you…"
"Haha! That’s more like it! Hey! Nun! You can go now! Step outside for a bit!"
"L-Lady Apis. With all due respect, leaving two members of the opposite sex in their prime alone together in a closed room is an utterly shameless act that goes against the pious doctrines our order holds dear…"
"Huh!?"
"Eek!"
When Apis slammed her leg onto the desk and raised her voice, the nun let out a shrill scream and collapsed weakly to the floor.
"Ah! Why are you scaring her like that!"
"She’s the one who doesn’t get it! And when did I scare her? I just spoke a little loudly!"
"That is scaring her! If you’re going to talk like that, at least pull back the murderous aura you’re radiating!"
"U-uh…"
While I was busy arguing with Apis, the nun clutched her own shoulders and sobbed, her body occasionally shaking as if swept away by the volume of our voices. She was terrified of Apis’s every little movement, yet she couldn’t tear her eyes away from the sight of us talking. It looked oddly like a spectator watching a beast tamer at work.
I could understand why the nun was afraid of Apis. With her fierce personality and rough behavior, it was easy to assume her heart was just as wild. Still, she seemed excessively scared. Had something happened between them while I was gone? A reasonable suspicion crossed my mind.
"I-I’m sorry, Lady Apis. Then, as ordered, I’ll step out for a moment. Excuse me…"
Creak. Soon the nun fled the room as if escaping from something.
"Apis. You didn’t say anything harsh to the Sister, did you…?"
"No? I just asked her to call you over. While we waited, we only exchanged a few words about current events. I didn’t do anything."
"Ah, I see…"
She definitely did something.
"O Lord. I am your finger. A mere lamb. Under your divine power, I shall grant rest to all things upon this land. All glory shall be offered to you."
"Haha! Looks like it hasn’t gotten rusty yet!"
I carefully placed my hand on Apis’s broken arm and recited the prayer. The fact that an acquaintance I thought I’d never see again after yesterday had shown up with a shattered arm was already enough to leave my heart in turmoil. That this same acquaintance was wearing an outfit completely inappropriate for her age only amplified the bewilderment to indescribable levels.
Red hair. Twin tails. An academy uniform. An appearance so classic it practically carried historical value. Her outfit completely contradicted her usual philosophy that clothes only needed defense and functionality, stirring up an indescribable sense of unease.
Had she hit her head? Or eaten something she shouldn’t have? Worried that such idle thoughts might seep into the prayer, I closed off my vision to sharpen my focus.
"But how did this hand end up like this anyway? It’s not like you went out to hunt a dragon. Did you get into another fight with Dawna?"
"W-well… Something like that…"
"Good grief… I keep telling you two to get along…"
How much time had passed? The faint sensation at my fingertips told me Apis’s arm had fully healed. I slowly opened my closed eyelids.
"Phew… There. All done."
"Yeah. It’s completely healed. Perfect."
"Apis. Just so we’re clear, even if you come like this, my mind hasn’t changed. I have no intention of returning to the Hero’s party, nor do I want to meet the Hero. So if that’s why you’re here, please don’t come again—"
It was then.
"Right. Now it’s time to pay the treatment fee."
"Huh?"
Thud!
It happened in an instant. Without the slightest warning, Apis shoved me down. By the time I regained my senses, I was already sprawled on the floor staring at the ceiling. The perpetrator had straddled my waist and was looking down at me with a seductive gaze I had never seen from her before.
"Apis…?"
"Let’s see… Next is…"
I tried to read her expression to figure out what she was thinking, but Apis was too busy burying her face in a palm-sized book and reading intently. My attempt failed.
"So… Hmm, hmm… Ah, aha! Like this! This is how it’s done…!"
"……?"
Soon, Apis closed the book that had been hiding her face, tucked it behind her back, and spoke to me with a refreshed expression as if she had just realized something.
"Hey! How about it! Are you turned on?!"
Still straddling me in the same position, she placed her left hand on her waist and her right hand behind her neck—the so-called ‘sexy pose.’ Apis carried it out with such majestic confidence that it felt like she was showing off a dignity comparable to an ancient golem.
"How about it! Turned on?"
…You do look healthy, at least.