Aiming for the Ballon d’Or. (3)
“Ryu Ha-neul player! Please give us one word about the Ballon d’Or award.”
Arriving in Lebanon ahead of the November A-match, I found myself surrounded by a swarm of journalists. I was used to this when entering Korea, but Lebanon was different—far from home, and the sheer number of them caught me off guard.
Still, I had to answer. Hiding my surprise, I opened my mouth.
“Ah, it’s not confirmed yet.”
The safest answer was humility. If I were a woman, such modesty might not play well with overseas fans, but women here, like the men of my past life, tended to favor gentle men. Korea demanded humility even from women, so I had no desire to feed the journalists what they wanted.
Actually, when I first decided to play football, I wasn’t sure if I’d even make the first team or survive on it. Maintaining humility felt like a concept at the time, but now it was strangely comfortable. In my past life, my stardom and salary had forced me to sharpen my words deliberately. Here, I had no need to manufacture edge for the spotlight—my very existence as a man was enough.
Unlike the past, where scandals plagued me, half the nation turned against me, and journalists tormented me daily, this life brought only praise. As a person, it was better to be cherished than cursed.
To be honest, my past self hadn’t had an easy family life. At a young age, I could barely speak Spanish beyond pass, goal, Iniesta, and Xabi, and I arrived in Spain with no friends. A bit lonely, perhaps. Looking back now, it felt true.
Yet the cheers on the pitch and even the insults online had felt like attention, and I’d been happy for it. In this life, though, I had parents who cherished me, childhood friends, Angela who always supported me, my Barcelona teammates, and even Diana, who seemed oddly kind for reasons I couldn’t quite place.
No need to swallow insults as “attention.”
“Ah, but it’s practically confirmed, isn’t it? Where has Ryu Ha-neul gone, the player who vowed to aim for the World Cup title?”
My humble reply clearly didn’t satisfy the journalists. They kept pressing.
“That’s… because the national passion was so strong…”
“The Korean people have shown tremendous interest in this Ballon d’Or as well. Please say something? According to the survey, Ryu Ha-neul player ranks first among celebrities surveyed by Koreans. With this much passion, you really should say something.”
“Um… I’ll give it my all in this A-match.”
Uwaaa…!
When I offered another humble answer, the journalists surrounding the airport jeered in unison. Yu-ri, seated on the same flight, watched me with visible unease.
…Fine.
I nodded at her with my mouth. Yu-ri offered a bitter smile. She still lacked experience with these situations.
“Kang Yu-ri player!”
One reporter caught our exchange, and the spotlight shifted to her.
“Congratulations on scoring your first goal in last year’s Champions League.”
“Ah, yes. Thank you.”
“Ryu Ha-neul player, who’s been your friend and teammate since childhood, has become a strong candidate for the Ballon d’Or. What do you think?”
“Ah, I’m happy. Ha-neul has always been truly talented since childhood. Even when I was young, I thought he was a Ballon d’Or candidate, and I’m glad his dream is coming true.”
…Did I say that when I was young?
“You seem genuinely happy. Do you know Kang Yu-ri player was the first to smile after arriving in Korea?”
“M-me?”
“Haha. Then another question. You and Ryu Ha-neul have known each other since childhood and are quite close, right? Your mothers are also heroes from 2002.”
“Yes, that’s right.”
“So I’ve heard the two of you are very close. In Korea, there was even a rumor of you two dating. What do you think? Why did you come together today? You always come together…”
The journalist’s blunt question made Yu-ri’s face flush red. She was clearly from the entertainment desk, not sports.
“Please refrain from such questions. We’re here to play football. And it’s only natural for teammates who play together to travel together.”
“Oh, Ryu Ha-neul player, are you angry? There seems to be something to it.”
Yes, that was why I had snapped at journalists before. Until now, I had only dealt with friendly ones, so I had forgotten. But thinking about it, half of those tormentors had probably deserved the sharp words.
My celebrity nature made me blurt things out in front of them, but I wasn’t that forgiving of rudeness.
“Not that…”
Just as I prepared to fire back, Yu-ri raised her hand to stop me.
“It doesn’t seem important. And we need to get to the training ground soon. Could you make way?”
I wanted to retort, but I understood why she was acting this way. If I ignored her and answered, she would likely feel hurt. Yu-ri moved first, the bodyguards cleared a path, and we left the airport together.
“Ryu Ha-neul player! Evidence! Photos on SNS! Look at this! Isn’t this a couple photo? Ryu Ha-neul player!”
But the reporter’s voice still echoed from behind. It only stopped once we reached the car.
“Sorry, it was my fault.”
Yu-ri handed me an apology as we settled into the car.
“It wasn’t because of you.”
I was already irritated, but Yu-ri’s bowed head made it worse. What irritated me more was the awkward air between us. It had taken time after the youth national team days, when she had confessed-like and things had grown tense, for us to return to normal. Years later, that same tension lingered.
“…Yeah. Thanks for putting up with it.”
“It wasn’t something you should thank me for.”
“Sorry.”
“You said it wasn’t something to apologize for.”
Because my mood slipped out, Yu-ri’s words came out cold even though she hadn’t done anything wrong.
“…Sorry.”
“?”
“It seems I vented my frustration on you without reason.”
But I am the type of man who admits his mistakes. Like a man, I apologized to Yu-ri.
“Still, where did you get that couple photo?”
Yu-ri seemed to sense my thoughts and changed the subject. It was strange to feel awkward about such things between friends, so I turned the question to the reporters.
And then I remembered Yu-ri taking a cute photo of me sleeping with my mouth open on the plane and posting it on SNS.
…Was it me?
I glanced at her. Yu-ri, who didn’t use SNS much in this era, looked genuinely confused.
“…What?”
“The reporters are really too much. They even checked behind and said.”
“Yeah…”
“Anyway, let’s do well in this national team too.”
“…Yeah.”
Yu-ri, sorry.
I worried that Yu-ri might be marked as impolite because of the photo I posted.
Maybe I should check public opinion first.
Agreeing with Yu-ri, I pulled out my phone and checked the fresh articles.
- Ryu Ha-neul, close friend Kang Yu-ri dating rumor? “It’s only natural for us to be together!”
The ridiculous headline was followed by our angry exit. The comments were flooded with curses at the reporters, especially many telling me not to touch Ryu Ha-neul. I felt strangely good about it.
Harsh curses. Is it because of my good image?
Without scandals, as the key player for the World Cup quarterfinals and someone who had reached the peak in his field, it wasn’t easy for the people to hate me. So perhaps it was only natural for the reporter who wrote such an article to be cursed.
…Although the high view count meant it didn’t turn out exactly as the reporter intended, I still didn’t like it.
And on the other hand, I realized I would have to be more careful from now on.
Until now, as a minor male, journalists hadn’t harassed me separately. But after becoming an adult, I suspected such articles would appear more often.
If I could endure this now?
Honestly, it didn’t seem easy. In the past, I had been the kind of man who took no wounds from such garbage articles, but I was different now.
The thing I felt most when born into this body was that a person’s body is heavily influenced by hormones. In the past, there were times when I disliked many things and pulled, and sometimes emotions I didn’t even understand controlled me.
And the decrease in libido had helped fuel those thoughts.
When I was young, I had thought about trying to break a girl or touch her while pretending not to know. But now I didn’t have those thoughts.
“Ha-neul?”
“Yeah?”
“No, you suddenly went quiet.”
“Ah, I was checking the article that just came out.”
“…Really? What did others say?”
“That reporter was completely cursed.”
Yu-ri laughed at my words. Seeing her smile, I felt good too.
But perhaps because the reporter had stirred up too many memories of the past, I suddenly wondered if I would have laughed in such a situation if I were the old me.
And if I were the old me, I probably wouldn’t have felt this good.
Has my empathy gotten too good because of hormones? It’s nothing…
Yet Yu-ri was smiling so happily that even if hormones were controlling my body, it didn’t feel bad at all.
“Yu-ri.”
“Yeah?”
“Aren’t you too happy? You seem to be laughing a lot. Do you like it when others are cursed?”
“Ah, no! It’s not like that…”
“Haha. Your face is turning red. Were you surprised? Surprised? Wow, Yu-ri, I didn’t see you like that. You were really a bad kid?”
Seeing Yu-ri clap her hands in embarrassment, laughter slipped out of my mouth. In response to my teasing, Yu-ri’s face grew even redder.
As before, the teasing Yu-ri was more enjoyable than the apologetic one.
And seeing her like that, I thought that whether it was hormones or past-life memories, it didn’t matter much.
Instead of philosophical or scientific questions that didn’t suit me, it seemed more helpful to simply enjoy this second life as it was.
“Ah, it’s not like that! I’m not that kind of person, Ha-neul!”
So, while watching Yu-ri’s flustered apology, I laughed all the way to the training camp.