Festival (1)
The clamor from outside snapped me awake.
No questions about the situation even crossed my mind. I simply rose from my seat as instinct dictated, smooth as flowing water, then crawled on all fours toward the greatsword leaning against the sofa and took hold of it.
There was no pain when Qi Sensing activated. No special sensation either. I felt no joy at its return. All that remained was the sticky residue of emotions clinging inside me.
Alien feelings. No—more than alien. They felt as if they had always been mine.
Sorrow. Rage. Anxiety. Malice. Disgust. Petulance. Incompetence. Depression. Misery. Suspicion. Confusion. Restlessness. Worry. Self-loathing. Greed. Frustration. Grief. Terror. Unhappiness. Longing. Weakness. Betrayal. Loneliness. Injustice. Agony. Guilt. Desperation.
Every last one of them was aimed at myself.
Endlessly dark, murky emotions began to wrap around me. Impulses flooded my head—to claw out my own eyes, tear off my skin, crush my organs, and finally strangle myself until my neck snapped.
In that instant—
Creak—the door opened, and the person I most wanted to see right now took shape before me.
Happiness.
“Noah.”
And then—
“...Ru...bia.”
Something beyond words. A stifling... pink.
The countless emotions that had been dragging me into the abyss vanished under just two feelings. They were overwritten, diluted.
“Good morning, Noah.”
A happy smile bloomed on Rubia’s face.
I was happy too. I was sure of it. I wanted to smile just like that. Yet for some reason, tears kept threatening to burst free.
“Ru...bia... hic... wh-why... why am I... like this...? Hic—hngh... huuuh... I keep... hic... t-tears... uugh...”
“Come here.”
Rubia approached slowly and drew me into her arms. But the feeling was different from before. There was still kindness, softness, warmth—yet the way she used to hug me like a doll was gone. Her touch was careful, as if handling a glass ornament that might shatter at the slightest mistake.
“Did you sleep well?”
I nodded.
“...And you had good dreams?”
I nodded again...
“I’m glad.”
Her long, gentle stroking finally calmed me a little. But once I settled down... something about it just didn’t sit right.
I was being held the same as always, yet it felt empty. No sense of being completely filled. No difficulty breathing.
And a strange emotion was wriggling restlessly inside me...
“Rubia...”
“Yes?”
It was embarrassing to say out loud. Still... I had beaten Kalt. I had protected people... I had done so many things, right? So... this much should be okay.
I turned my head from the side and buried my entire face in Rubia’s chest. Then I tightened my arms around her waist and mumbled,
“...Hold me... tighter...”
Did she hear me? Could she understand when I mumbled like that...? Maybe I should say it again—
The moment I lifted my head slightly to repeat myself—
“Hnn...ngh...”
Pain clamped down as if she meant to crush me. My heels lifted off the floor, my chest felt tight, breathing grew hard, and my joints ached—but the force that refused to let me go felt so good. The hot emotion pouring straight toward me, and no one else, pierced my heart.
I simply stayed still, burying my face deeper in answer. The tears that had barely stopped burst free once more.
“Aren’t you hungry?”
“Yeees...”
“You’re not hungry, yet you’re eating this many jellies?”
“Jellies and... rice are different things...”
“Pfft... All right.”
Sitting a little apart from Rubia, I listened to everything that had happened while I was out. From the final defeat of Kalt, to Yuria’s Elixir, the sudden blizzard, the avalanche thick with demonic energy, and Tyrant—the White Disaster—whose every seal had broken free.
And the one who had slain that Tyrant alone: Super-strong Noah.
I asked all sorts of things about that super-strong Noah... but Rubia kept dodging until my relentless questions finally wore her down. According to her, everything else was similar to me... except that version could see and speak properly.
Completely different from me... Nothing alike at all...
Anyway, after hearing so many shocking revelations, my blood sugar had crashed hard. Which was why I was stuffing jellies into my mouth like this.
“So... r-right now... there’s a festival going on...?”
“Yes. It’s incredibly lively, isn’t it?”
“Mmm... Yeees...”
“They say from now on, Urusphier will hold a festival like this every year on the same day.”
Rubia’s gaze turned toward the window.
“Then... there’ll be lots of delicious things for sale, right?”
When you think of Urusphier, you think of wild raspberries. There’d be tons of raspberry juice, jellies, candies... But those were all desserts. What about actual meals? What was famous for food here?
“Pardon...?”
Rubia’s face slowly turned back from the window toward me.
“Um... There’ll be lots of accessories for sale, and... clothes too...”
We’d made a lot of money after catching Carpeng, so... matching accessories or outfits with Rubia might be nice...
“B-but still... the highlight of any festival is... fireworks!”
I couldn’t see them... but just hearing the booms would be wonderful. Listening to people’s excited, thrilled voices under a sky full of bursting sparks would be great too. And most of all—being there with Rubia would be the best part...
Hmm... but crowded places make it hard to breathe, so maybe we could watch from a rooftop? Or maybe ask Charlotte or Lebuje for a good spot... Hehe...
“It’ll be so pretty, right...? Of course... um... I can’t see them, but still... still, Rubia can.”
“Noah... You are Noah, right?”
Rubia’s face twisted suddenly as she came closer.
“Yeees...? Of course it’s me...?”
“Is it?”
She stared at me for a long moment, then suddenly pulled me into a tight hug.
“Uhek...”
“Just for a moment... please stay like this for a moment.”
“O...kay.”
I raised my hands and patted her back—pat, pat. I must have done it nearly a hundred more times before her breathing finally steadied.
“Haa... The star of this festival is Noah.”
“But that wasn’t m-me...”
The quiet rhythm of her breath faltered slightly.
Mean.
“No. Noah is... Noah.”
I pinched Rubia’s thigh hard.
“Whatever...”
My head was a mess. Every time I looked at Rubia, heard her voice, caught her scent, felt her skin—especially when our whole bodies touched like this—my heart pounded like crazy. My hands trembled. My breathing quickened. Some sharp, unknown sensation kept wriggling through me, and a familiar warm energy curled up in one corner kept drawing my attention.
I was embarrassed. It tingled and prickled. It was ticklish too. It hurt, stung, felt like it was tearing me apart—yet all those sensations blended together and left my body burning hot.
That was why I couldn’t cling to Rubia. Why it was hard to get close.
See? Just listening to her breathing beside me was making my body act weird. It was driving me crazy with frustration...
I couldn’t dump this on anyone else. And if I stuck to Rubia... it would be too hard on me. My body would go strange...
I sighed and gently pushed her away, then tugged down the skirt that had ridden up.
But...
Huh...?
An unfamiliar sensation made me carefully—very carefully—slip a hand under my skirt to check.
The panties... were different. I didn’t own anything like these...
Whose... whose panties are these?
“Rubia...”
“Yes?”
“My... underwear...”
They fit perfectly, so they had to be mine. But I had never bought anything this... this soft and slick and... Aah! I never bought underwear this lewd!!
Once I noticed it, the strange, sensual texture became impossible to ignore. Goosebumps prickled all over me.
“U-ugh... It’s weird... These... uh... can I take them off and put on something else...?”
“...What?”
“Nooo...! What even are these... Hyaah... I can’t stand it...!”
In the end I couldn’t take it anymore. I stood up, dashed to a corner where Rubia couldn’t see, and yanked them off. They practically slid right off.
“Ugh... uuugh!”
I crumpled them into a ball and stuffed them into my inner pocket. I didn’t want Rubia to see them... If she saw something this perverted, she’d think I was weird.
“N-Noah?”
“Hnnngh... Yeees...?”
“Why did you suddenly take off your underwear...?”
‘What? Should I take mine off too?’ Rubia muttered, staring straight at me.
“The feeling... the feeling is weird. These... don’t seem like my underwear...”
I couldn’t bring myself to pull them out, so I just rubbed the pocket as I walked back to her. Rubia’s head tilted slightly...
“Ah... Noah. That, um... how do I explain this...”
She seemed to remember something and started choosing her words carefully, lips pressed together while glancing at my face. Had she done something wrong?
Ah. Had she secretly bought them and put them on me while I was asleep...? So they really weren’t mine. Of course not. There was no way I would buy something this lewd.
Rubia must have bought them. Well... she had nursed me, so I could overlook that much... but doing it while I was sleeping was way too perverted, Rubia. Rubia’s a sneaky pervert!
“Heh... heh...”
For some reason the corners of my mouth kept creeping upward. I forced them down and slowly approached her. How should I accept her apology? Just words felt a little lacking... I still had plenty of jellies, so... maybe I should make her buy me a mountain of sugar-coated fruit.
“S-so... when did you go buy them? These weird underw—”
“Two days ago... we went... together.”
My feet stopped.
“Eh...?”
My thoughts stopped too.