And Then
“Ugh... I’m so full...”
“If you’re done eating, shall we head out?”
I’d wanted to take my time and savor the meal, but Rubia finished hers like she was in a fight, so I ended up wolfing mine down right along with her.
“Huh...? Can’t we rest a little before we go? My stomach’s way too full.”
“You said we didn’t have time.”
“Well... we don’t, yeah.”
Lilith’s rank had risen higher than I’d expected... so a lot of divine power got wasted just facing her.
We’d burned through three or four hours more than planned...
Rubia watched me quietly for a moment, then asked with the utmost care,
“...What time are you planning to sleep?”
“What time? Ah... pfft—! Pffhkk... ahem... ah... what time should I sleep.”
She’d phrased it as prettily as she could so I wouldn’t get hurt, and it was so adorable that laughter just burst out of me.
“H-huh, is that funny...? I-I’m just—”
“Ahh... no, no. Um... the time.”
I checked the divine power still circulating inside me and roughly estimated.
At this rate, about—
“Around one in the morning?”
“One... all right. Let’s go, then.”
Rubia glanced at a clock and shot up from her seat.
It was six now.
Seven hours left.
I nodded and hopped down from my chair with a little bounce.
“Where to now?”
“There’s a shop I spotted on the way here. Would you come with me? How about some shopping?”
“Shopping? Sure, sounds good.”
Not like I had anything else to do. Anywhere was fine.
“I’ll settle the bill and come out. Want to wait outside first?”
“’Kay.”
She looked like she had something to say to the shopkeeper, so I slipped out without a fuss.
I wanted to thank them properly myself, but...
I just bobbed my head in a quick bow.
I sat on the bench right out front and watched the people go by until Rubia emerged.
Even in a world dyed orange by the setting sun, her white hair never lost its color—it just shone, proud of itself.
Yeah. She’s pretty, all right.
“Thanks for the meal, Noah.”
Rubia smiled at me as she pulled her robe up over her head.
She was the one who’d paid, so why was she thanking me for the meal?
I tilted my head for a second, then answered,
“Yeah. I ate well too.”
“Shall we go, then?”
I nodded and fell into step behind her.
Time passed, sweat poured, and still people kept smiling as they cleaned up.
“No more blizzards in Urusphier after this.”
“I suppose not.”
The blizzards of Urusphier had been the sealed Tyrant’s demonic energy leaking out.
But I’d killed that Tyrant and even evaporated every last scrap of residual energy, so there shouldn’t be any problem left.
“No more deaths, either.”
“...Yes.”
“The buildings will probably change too, right? No need to prepare for blizzards anymore. It’ll look a lot cooler.”
I couldn’t even picture it.
The Urusphier I knew had been nothing but ash-gray.
I wanted to see how it would transform.
“The people who sold blizzard gear might be a little pissed, though.”
Rubia’s steps slowed.
I didn’t match her pace; I just kept walking.
“Still, surviving’s the important part, isn’t it?”
There’s that saying—better to roll in a dung heap in this world than be dead in the next.
“...That’s true. As long as they survived...”
“Right. Living is enough.”
But I didn’t agree with those words.
Funny, since I was the one who’d said them... but anyway.
“Do you really think that?”
A loaded question.
No need to spell it out.
“Yeah. Really.”
“...All right. Here we are. This is the shop.”
“Huh...? H-here...?”
“Yes.”
An underwear store.
The lingerie on the mannequin standing right in front of us was
ruthlessly lewd.
I really shouldn’t go in there.
“A-are you insane... I... bandages are fine for me?”
“Pfft— you still need something for the bottom, don’t you?”
“Well, yeah, but...”
“I need to buy some for myself too. Come on, let’s go in.”
Rubia, wrapped head to toe in her robe, shoved me forward by the back.
No... if you’re going to hide yourself that thoroughly just to go in... why not just pick another store?!
“I’d like you to choose for me, Noah... is that so bad?”
“Uh, uhhh...?! B-but I’m... th-that, um...”
I’m not the Noah she knows!!
If I pick for her... the other “me” might get jealous, you know...?
I look like this, but my jealousy runs deep, okay?
But Rubia ignored every bit of that and simply shook her head.
“I want you to choose. And... we’ll come again tomorrow.”
“Ugh, nngh... fine...”
I took a tiny breath and stepped forward.
I was more nervous than when I’d gone to throw down with the Tyrant.
Jingle—
The door opened.
“Oh my god...”
Th-they’re hanging those up and calling them underwear?
That... that thing with nothing but strings dangling everywhere—what exactly is it supposed to cover?
This is insane...
And that one in the middle with a hole punched right through it... what the hell is that?
I curled in on myself in front of the parade of vicious lingerie, and from behind me came the sound of Rubia swallowing hard.
I’m genuinely scared.
“Did we... really have to change into them right away?”
“Of course. Do you know how old those old ones were?”
“They were perfectly clean...”
“No they weren’t. If I say so, then they weren’t.”
The uselessly soft texture made my whole body twist.
We’d bought four sets of those weird underthings.
I kept saying bandages were fine... but she made me buy them anyway...
And... they sold regular clothes in the back, so I picked up a few of those too.
Clothes weren’t that necessary—I could make them out of Tyrant materials if I wanted—and these weren’t exactly ordinary clothes either...
Ugh... making me try that stuff on over and over.
If it had been the old “me,” I might’ve died of shame.
“Whew... now that we’ve digested a bit, shall we have dessert?”
“Huh? Dessert? Already?”
“Already? Meal-stomach and dessert-stomach are separate, you know.”
“That’s... true.”
My head didn’t get it, but my body did.
Even when you’re full, dessert still finds a way in, doesn’t it?
Especially jelly or candied fruit—you can always eat more of those.
“Come on, let’s go.”
Rubia smiled and waved her hand.
I wanted to take that swaying hand and walk with her.
But I just quietly nodded and followed behind.
Buying clothes had taken maybe an hour.
One by one, the people working out on the streets began to disappear.
The lively, hopeful bustle of the avenue slowly quieted.
It was about time for me to say the things I’d been holding in my head.
“What do you want?”
“Jelly... and candied apples and strawberries, of course.”
“Heheh... all right. Sit wherever you like. I’ll bring it over.”
“Can you carry it all by yourself?”
“Of course.”
“Mm... okay. I’ll be in that corner.”
I headed for the farthest corner of the dessert shop and plopped down.
One more time.
I checked the mana I’d organized, made sure nothing was wrong with my body, confirmed no stray divine power was lingering.
I carefully checked for any aftereffects from facing Lilith.
I was almost finished when Rubia arrived loaded with delicious things.
“I bought a few extras besides the ones you picked.”
On top of my choices there were all sorts of fruit, three kinds of drinks... and a separate order just for Rubia.
“This much?”
“If we get sick of it we can pack the rest to go. We’ve still got places to visit after this.”
She smiled brightly, picked up a fork, and stabbed a piece of cake.
More places to go?
She’d planned one hell of a full course...
Thinking that, I opened my mouth without thinking.
Rubia tilted her head.
I tilted mine too... ah, right.
This isn’t that.
“Ahem... just a yawn.”
I’d opened my mouth on pure reflex.
Whenever we had dessert, Rubia always fed me the first bite... it had become a habit...
I tried not to flail as I reached for a fork, but somehow Rubia’s fork was already hovering right in front of my nose.
“Uh...?”
The fork swayed gently.
“Mm... a-aah—”
It slipped in, and I closed my mouth around it.
“How is it?”
Delicious.
It was delicious, but I didn’t answer.
I kept my head down, chewing away, and heard a soft snort of laughter followed by the clink of cutlery.
I couldn’t see what face she was making or what she was doing.
Should’ve brought the greatsword.
I stuffed jelly into my mouth by the handful and stabbed cake over and over, cooling the heat inside me.
And then... I spoke the words I’d been keeping ready in my head.
I put on the most natural smile I could manage.
Used the roundest, softest tone.
And opened my mouth.
“So... um, since the star of the festival is ‘me,’ we should enjoy the festival... and once it’s over, there’s something I have to do.”
Maybe because I’d brought it up so suddenly, Rubia’s movements stopped.
I kept going without caring.
“Ah, before that. The side effects of the Elixir Yuria gave me—I’ve pretty much fixed those, but the shrinking thing can’t be helped. I’ll probably lose about ten centimeters? But it’s not a big deal. Won’t mess with swinging the greatsword or anything. My head might get a little fuzzy too... so take good care of me for that, Rubia.”
She only nodded quietly.
“And after that... we’re going to Cartia, right?”
“...Yes.”
“Before we go, the top priority is... mm, mana control. But ‘my’ mana isn’t ordinary mana, you know? It’s not even really mana... if I had to compare it, it’s closer to your divine power. So you’re the best one to teach me.”
“Noah—”
I didn’t want to stop talking.
“And from now on, you should be careful too. When you take the trials in the Sanctuary of Memory, big changes are going to hit. Mostly for the worse. Things will get even harder than they are now. But—”
I remembered how it had been back then.
I remembered every trial I’d faced in the Sanctuary of Memory.
The roaring flames.
The choking smoke.
The crimson world.
The pitch-black corpses.
I clenched my trembling hands and steadied my breath.
“Never, ever give up. No matter what happens—no matter what kind of wreck ‘I’ become, even if I go completely insane—don’t give up. Even if you don’t have enough strength, even if it feels like you’re about to die. Even if an enemy too strong to handle shows up.”
I didn’t know if we could overcome it.
Honestly, I thought we couldn’t.
But.
“The trial of Erden is absolutely off-limits.”
We had to overcome it.
If I took the trial of Erden,
Hypocrisy would bloom,
and I would kill everyone around me, kill and kill,
until at the very end
I had to kill Rubia too.
“It’s shameless of me to say this. But help ‘me’ so I don’t give up—so I can get through it.”
Because I would have to split open skin, shatter bone,
rip out a heart and tear it to shreds.
“Please.”
Rubia let out a shaky breath.
“Want to talk about the rest while we eat?”
I stabbed a jelly with my fork and brought it to my mouth.
“Want me to tell you how I took down the Tyrant too? That bastard looked vicious as hell, but he used a ridiculous amount of magic that didn’t match his looks at all. So I—”
Bitter.
Insanely bitter.
Nausea surged up from deep inside.
But the smile never cracked.
Thank god for that.