Designated Request (2)

That was the prayer my father—once a firefighter—used to murmur under his breath.

His voice and face from those days are still carved into my mind, vivid as ever.

Even now.

Even later.

For the rest of my life.

I will never forget them.

So.

I have to protect it.

Carry on that will.

I.

Have to do it.

"You've already checked the details of the request, I assume."

Aileen slurped down coffee that looked more like a death potion and tapped the desk.

"Absolute secrecy... Ha. Fine. I'll trust you for now."

Her gaze slid toward the blacksmith shop owner.

Come on, he's not that kind of guy!

Aileen looked away from the owner and fixed her eyes on me again, speaking quietly.

"But if word ever gets out..."

A sharp grinding sound came from between her teeth.

Ugh... how hard is she grinding those things...

"Then I won't be able to take responsibility either."

"Y-yes..."

Cold sweat trickled down my spine.

The one small mercy was that Aileen wasn't a criminal.

Earlier, when I'd gone into the kitchen to make coffee, the blacksmith owner had been there, so I'd asked him.

His answer had been, "She's not a criminal."

Right. Not a criminal! But why the "not"?!

Then what the hell is she?!

What's her real identity?!

A noble? Or—don't tell me—royalty?!

Is that why she's throwing around this much gold?!

My head spun under the weight of every tangled thought.

Sure, I was a veteran of Black Sun... but that didn't mean I knew every single character by heart.

And the story? Completely blank. I'd forgotten it!

I'd only skimmed it when I first started the game; after that it was nothing but hunting and PVP, day in and day out...

How was I supposed to remember a story I'd last seen eight years ago?

If I'd known the whole plot, I never would have stuck around in a tiny village like this...

"Hah..."

While I was still clutching my aching head and groaning, an enormous pouch landed on the table with a heavy thud.

"Fifteen gold. That's the advance. Once we reach Cartia Village, I'll give you the remaining fifteen."

But... for fifteen gold, isn't this pouch way too big?

I poked at the bag a few times, and Aileen mumbled as she opened her mouth.

"Ah, um... I couldn't get gold coins ready, so I prepared silver instead. The amount is correct, so don't worry."

"Heh heh... it almost looks like you raided a piggy bank..."

Aileen shot to her feet in a full-blown rage the moment she heard me.

"A p-piggy bank?! Absolutely not! Honestly... what do you take me ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠for? Ha! I'll have you know I'm older than I look! I'm not some little kid with a piggy bank!"

I was just saying... why is she reacting this hard?

I only said it because I've been there myself!

Back in middle school, maybe? I'd emptied three years of savings from my piggy bank and run away from home—that was what had popped into my head!

"I-I'm sorry..."

"Uh... no... it's fine. I'm sorry for yelling too. Let's get back to the point."

Aileen took a moment to steady her breathing, sat back down, and spread a large sheet of paper across the table.

"Alright. This is the village we're in right now. Correct?"

I could feel only the tip of Aileen's finger; whatever was drawn on the paper was completely invisible to me.

From the way she talked it sounded like a map, but...

I can't see a thing...?

But if I interrupt her now and she gets mad again, what then?

My thirty gold... I have to protect my thirty gold!

Better answer first and carefully explain once she's finished talking.

"Y-yes."

"Once we leave, we'll head this way, like so..."

Aileen's slender finger darted across the paper with soft swish-swish sounds.

"We'll pass through here. Is that alright?"

"Y-yees."

"Hmm... you sound confident. Good. Most people take this longer route, but we're going to cut straight through."

"...Y-yees..."

"It's a bit dangerous, but this is the fastest path. And then here......"

Mid-sentence Aileen stopped. Her head slowly lifted.

"...Ah, wait..."

Then she suddenly grew restless and hung her head low.

"Oh no, this... I didn't mean to... I wasn't teasing you... ah, no..."

As I thought.

She must have momentarily forgotten I was blind.

Well, I had been bustling around just fine, walking here and there and even making coffee, so it was easy enough to forget.

I'm a big-hearted guy, so I'll let it slide!

"It's alright. I'm used to it..."

I gave Aileen's hand—resting on the table—a couple of light pats and offered a bright smile.

Honestly, I'm not used to it at all.

It had only been two months since eyes that used to see perfectly had suddenly gone dark. There was no way I could be used to it yet.

But saying this would make Aileen feel a little less guilty, right?

Hmm, and is there even anything to feel guilty about?

We only met today, and if I'd told her from the start that I couldn't see the map, none of this would have happened...

Wait... am I the one who set her up?

"This is m-my fault... Aileen-nim didn't do anything wrong. So... y-you don't need to feel s-sorry... I'm the one who should apol... ogize...!"

I'd tried to comfort her gently... and ended up stuttering horribly.

My voice even cracked at the end...

Aileen raised her head and looked at me.

Did that at least help a little...?

Please don't be laughing at my voice crack... ugh, so embarrassing.

"Ahem, ahem."

Feeling awkward, I brought the cup to my lips.

But Aileen's hand gently stopped it.

"Noah-ssi... you've already finished your milk..."

"H-huh?"

She was right.

In my fluster over the voice crack I'd just pressed the empty cup to my mouth without thinking...

"Noah-ssi... you don't have to force a smile..."

"N-no, it's fine...!"

Mortification flooded my face with heat.

Afraid she'd notice how red I'd turned, I dropped my head low.

Instead of comforting her I just stuttered like a total loser... and cracked my voice too...!

Aaaaargh!!

I shot up from my seat in a panic.

Ugh, I'm so embarrassed I can't even look her in the eyes...

Not that I could look her in the eyes to begin with, but still!

"I-I'll go get us something more to drink...!"

Ah.

Voice cracked again.

This useless body felt even more hateful than usual today.

I grabbed the cup with both hands and hurried toward the kitchen...

"Watch out!"

Crash—

"Hyaak...!"

...and never made it. I fell flat.

I-I forgot the greatsword...!

You absolute idiot, Shin Noah! Gyaaaaaaah!!

First things first... find the greatsword... ugh.

I crawled on all fours, groping across the floor.

"Noah...?"

Aileen called my name in a voice that clearly wondered what on earth I was doing.

Her voice sounded closer than before.

Hmm... so she's nearby now...

I can't tell.

More importantly, where the hell is my greatsword?! Aaaaah!

I wanted to ask Aileen to help me find it... but that would mean exposing my weakness, so it felt wrong.

"It's nothing... r-really... hehe..."

Just find the greatsword first.

It has to be around here somewhere...

Hmm, this is a table leg... this is a chair... then...

"Ah...!"

Found it!

I sprang up and seized the hilt.

I looked around.

Aileen was staring at me blankly, and the cup... was completely shattered. Dang it...

My palms and knees were bleeding too.

I was used to wounds like these.

But today...

they stung a little more than usual.

"Watch out!"

Crash—!

"Hyaak...!"

Noah, carrying the cup, tripped over a hammer lying on the floor and went down hard.

There was no way she hadn't seen it.

On the way to the blacksmith's alone she had dodged animal droppings several times.

She had carefully stepped around puddles and even cleared every obstacle near my feet.

There was simply no way that same girl could have missed a single hammer.

While I was still piecing the situation together, Noah began crawling across the floor.

It was strange.

I shouldn't have done it.

Even knowing I shouldn't, I let a seed of doubt take root.

"Noah...?"

When she heard my voice,

Noah could not pinpoint where I was.

She only roughly grasped the direction; she never looked at me.

She could not look at me.

"..."

I.

I was the one who had dug my fingers into that girl's trauma.

I had torn open a wound so raw it sent her into panic.

Terrified someone would discover I had emptied my piggy bank, I had spread the map and monologued by myself.

I had already heard the explanation from the receptionist Hermila; I knew Noah's condition.

She could sense her surroundings, yet she could not see.

Of course she couldn't read a map.

I had kept that fact firmly in mind.

And yet... for the sake of my own petty pride I had lost my composure.

I had failed to consider Noah at all.

When she blamed herself, smiling so forlornly, I couldn't say a single word.

I couldn't even offer a proper apology.

Every adventurer I had seen at the guild had been rough and violent.

She had endured among people like that.

Unable to read letters.

Unable to see a map.

Unable to tell time.

Unable even ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠to recognize a person's face.

A little blind girl like that.

A girl so small.

She had endured countless slights and rebukes and still kept going.

Without family.

With a body that refused to cooperate.

Noah, who never broke and kept walking forward,

was dazzling beyond words.

Even in a world like this,

a girl like her still lived.

Among people who cared only for their own safety,

someone so radiant still existed.

And so I...

Noah, to you.

To every other shining person...

I have to apologize.

No matter how brightly you shine, no matter how beautiful you are,

the darkness of this world is simply too vast.

The filth of humanity is simply too ugly.

I do not want to save this world.

Even if the entire world shatters, I will keep running until the very end.

"So that's why it stung so much... there were glass shards stuck in it..."

The pain had felt odd, so I focused my Qi Sensing and discovered tiny fragments of glass embedded in the wounds.

I replayed every humiliating moment of my earlier display.

Seriously... seriously so freaking embarrassing...!

"I-I wanna die..."

And what was that just now...?

"It stings more than usual today"...?!

You absolute lunatic!

H-how old is this body again...?

Did I just catch a case of middle-school syndrome?!

Gyaaaaaaah!!

I'd thought the sting was emotional, born from how pathetic my situation felt—turns out it was just the actual wounds hurting!!

"Ahhh... this is so freaking embarrassing..."

I brushed the glass shards from the cuts and pictured Aileen sitting forlornly outside.

Somehow she seemed strong-willed and yet not; thorough and yet a little clumsy; and her heart looked fragile...

She gave off the same air I once had.

The kind of person carrying a painful past she could never tell anyone about, maybe.

Well.

That didn't really matter.

I set the greatsword down and let the tension drain from my body.

Opened my eyes.

Closed my ears.

Held my breath.

And I thought.

No matter what painful past Aileen carried.

Whether she was a criminal,

a saint or a villain—

whatever she might be, as long as she was a person.

Even if it wasn't Aileen, as long as that existence was a person.

I

would take the hand that reached out to me.

If they asked for help, I would give it.

If they asked me to save their life, I would do it somehow—

by any means necessary.

Because that was the only way I could be.

In the past.

In the present.

And perhaps in the future as well.

I had no other choice.

"Right?"

"Nngh—!"

Once every last shard of glass was gone, I picked up the greatsword and rose to my feet.

"She already had coffee earlier... wonder if she'll want another cup?"

I poured Aileen's coffee and my own milk into fresh cups

and stepped out of the kitchen.

"Anything I left behind?"

I glanced back.

On the spot where I had been sitting—

"Hmm... nope."

—not a single fragment

of glass

remained.

"This time I'm going to act with a little more dignity!"