East Ruins (2)
“Why do you keep getting hurt like this for work? You should think about your age a little, Dad. These scars… ugh, what even is this…”
“Hahaha! A man can get a little banged up now and then. And scars? What scars—these are badges of glory, you brat.”
“Still, you should be more careful. Honestly… I think your own life comes first. That won’t change.”
“Yeah. You’re right. But Noah, take a good look.”
Father rolled up his sleeve and showed me the countless scars I had seen a hundred times before.
“When you look at scars like these, what do you think? You?”
“Just… that they’re scars. And that I wish you’d been more careful.”
“When I look at these scars, I think of the people living well because of me. Kids going to school, people landing jobs, failing sometimes, starting married life, crying sometimes, laughing sometimes… ordinary people living ordinary days.”
“…I know. You say it every time. But isn’t it scary, throwing yourself into a fire like that?”
“Of course it’s scary. I’m no Superman. But even when I’m scared, looking at these scars gives me the courage to jump in. It gives me the confidence that I can save them.”
He paused, then flipped his wallet open wide.
“And when I look at this photo, I feel responsibility. The responsibility to protect, and the responsibility to make it home no matter what.”
Inside the wallet was a faded family photo—colors washed out, yet still clear as day.
“…We should replace that photo. Look at the color.”
“The photo? What’s wrong with it? It’s nice and cozy. Ah, and speaking of your mom—”
Father held out his other arm right in front of my face.
“Look at this, you punk! This scar’s from when I saved your mother. If I hadn’t gotten this, you wouldn’t be here either, Noah.”
“Haa… yeah. I get it… but you should also think about the people waiting for you… Take better care of yourself. Like I said, think about your age.”
“Heh, this kid… I just told you. I always think of that photo. Of you, Noah, and of your mother. That’s how I always make it back home.”
There was no arguing with Father’s words. I could only shut my mouth and look into his steady eyes.
“Anyway, son. Don’t worry too much. Your dad will come back somehow. No matter what happens, I’ll protect our family.”
His hand ruffled my hair.
“So I hope that someday you’ll become a hero who saves people—just like your dad, and just like your name.”
“…I’ll try.”
“Hahaha! Good. If you get it, put some more ointment on this. Your mom’ll scold me later.”
“Dad. Next week… I have a day off. Let’s go take a picture. All of us, with Mom.”
“Sounds great! And after that we can knock back some soju with your old man for once!”
“I have work the next day, so I can’t drink. Just… let’s eat. Buy us some beef.”
“Work, huh… Fine. Let’s just grab a meal, son.”
I spread ointment over the wounds on Father’s back.
Hoping the ointment would last a little longer.
Hoping the wounds wouldn’t fester.
Hoping the scars would fade.
And if they didn’t—
Hoping they would remain forever as Father’s glory.
“Noah.”
Aileen’s icy voice pressed down on my whole body.
“Y-yes…?”
“Don’t you know dumping potions like that leaves scars?”
“I… know?”
“You’re a girl. How can you do that? L-look at these scars.”
“B-badges of glory…!”
“Don’t say weird things. And I was right behind you.”
“Th-there were gnolls everywhere up front…”
“Healing came first.”
“There were too… many for that…”
“Haa…”
Aileen’s thoroughly chilled voice finally held a little warmth.
“…Why did you do it?”
“B-because… it’s a commission…”
Slap—
“Eek! Th-that hurts…!”
“If you’d waited just a little longer, I could have handled them with my… ability.”
“…Yes.”
“And if things went wrong, we could have run.”
“…Y-yes…”
“So… why… why on earth did you do it?”
“B-because Aileen said… it was urgent… so urgent we couldn’t even take a carriage…”
I wasn’t blaming Aileen. It was just… the only excuse I could think of.
“Noah, what are you, invincible? You won’t die? No, you won’t. So please… don’t do that again…”
Aileen’s voice, thick with tears, reached my ears.
“Look… look at this. How much must it hurt… stinging, burning…”
It did hurt.
My left arm, where a gnoll had bitten me, still throbbed. So did the shoulder smashed by a mace, the leg that had taken a crossbow bolt, the side a rusty sword had carved into, the waist scorched by a fire arrow, the torn-out fingernails and toenails, the left arm whose bones had been crushed…
Aileen’s healing and the potions had closed every wound somehow, but it was like… phantom pain? Something like that?
So how did I win after getting beaten that badly?
No idea!
When I’m hunting, adrenaline or dopamine or whatever those hormones are just gushes out and I don’t feel the pain! It actually feels like it heats my body up more!
Once the tension drops I hurt so bad I could pass out, though.
Even now I want to bawl my eyes out from the pain…
But so what.
I still have to fight.
If I don’t survive today, there is no tomorrow.
Of course I want to fight without getting hurt. I usually dodge as much as I can.
But just now there was no choice…
There were plenty of attacks that would have hit Aileen if I hadn’t taken them…
So I, the frontliner, took them! No—I blocked them!
Tanking is a frontliner’s job too!
Hunting is a frontliner’s job too!
Cowardly ranged dealers can just watch from the back. If you don’t like it, switch to melee. Tch.
Anyway.
It hurts, it’s scary, it’s hard—but it’s fine.
Because I saved a “person” named Aileen.
So I—
“I-it doesn’t hurt at all…”
I patted Aileen’s hand and gave her a big grin.
Aileen stared at me blankly, then jabbed her index finger into my left side.
“Kyaaaah?! Wh-why?!”
It hurts! It hurts! It huuuuurts!
Even screaming hurts!
It just hurts!
“You said it didn’t hurt.”
“Th-that doesn’t mean you can just… poke me…!”
That’s where the spear went in, you cruel woman…!
“Does it hurt or not?”
“I-it hurts, but… I can handle it… Let’s just get up… Reinforcements will probably come.”
Gnolls usually live in packs. They would definitely swarm us—led by their leader, in even greater numbers than before.
“That’s true, but… no. This won’t do. We’re going back to Alrba Village. Once we’re there—”
Listening to Aileen, I clenched my stomach hard and shouted.
“No!”
For the first time, I cut Aileen off…!
I actually found the courage.
“…Why?”
“We stick to Aileen’s plan. I-I’m really fine.”
If I go back only two days after leaving home, I’ll be too embarrassed to face Hermila…
I cried so hard saying goodbye!
Absolutely not!
A-and I still need those fifteen gold…!
“Don’t be stubborn. How are you going to go looking like this…”
I steadied my breathing and looked straight at Aileen.
Please. Please let my firm will get through!
Please don’t let me stutter!
“Aileen. I’m really fine. Let’s go. To Cartia.”
Yes!
I didn’t stutter!
And I spoke super well.
“What…?”
Aileen’s body leaned back.
Now’s my chance!
I caught her as she recoiled and pulled her back in front of me.
Then I held my breath, opened my closed eyes, and—
in the hardest tone I could manage,
meeting Aileen’s eyes even though I couldn’t see them,
mimicking her way of speaking—
I opened my mouth.
“Answer.”
“Ugh… then… a-alright. But promise me one thing.”
I tilted my head. If I said anything else I was sure I’d start stuttering again, so I just… tilted my head.
And Aileen, covering her mouth, turned her face away.
“Huu… There’s a small village near the entrance to the Halbion Plains. We’ll rest there a little before we go. It’s a quiet place… it shouldn’t be bad.”
I nodded and let go of Aileen.
I finally beat Aileen for the first time!
“Heheh.”
“Haa… seriously, I can’t figure you out…”
While I was grinning in pure victory, Aileen’s irritated voice drifted over.
I… reflexively curled up.
I-is this that Pavlov’s dog thing…?!
“W-what…?”
“You. You. I can’t tell what kind of person you are at all.”
“Y-yes…?”
A soft hand, damp with sweat, cupped my cheek.
“Normally you’re so… airheaded, foolish, cute, and clumsy… but at important moments you become a completely different person…”
“I-I’m not airheaded at all… not foolish… not cute… and not clumsy either.”
“Pfft— ‘not foolish’?”
“Ugh… a-anyway!”
I shook my head free of her hand.
“W-we don’t have time for this. We need to move, now.”
“Alright… but you’re really okay, right?”
“Yes. I’m really fine…”
My body is screaming for me to just die already… but I have to move somehow and get out of here.
If we run into reinforcements in this state, even an eight-year veteran like me can’t guarantee anything.
And the greatsword’s edge is badly chipped. The hilt rattles. The hammer’s been smashed for a while now. The gear is in a hopeless state.
Not that I can sit here and maintain it either.
Of course I can’t…
From here on we have to avoid combat as much as possible.
I can do this.
I’ve been through situations like this a ton of times in the game.
Even if this is reality, I’ve got loads of experience, so it’ll be fine.
I steeled myself and took Aileen’s hand.
Interlocking our fingers tightly so I wouldn’t lose her.
“Let’s go, Aileen.”
Somehow, by any means necessary, I’ll save you.
You trust me, right?
I looked back at Aileen and smiled.
“Uh… y-yes. Let’s go.”
Squish— squish—
We walked forward across ground soaked in gnoll blood.
Heheh, I saved Aileen.
Sure, if I hadn’t been there she would’ve just run…
But! If she ran, time would be lost, the plan would fall apart, and all sorts of problems would pop up!
So! One way or another, I did save Aileen!
“Heheheh.”
“Noah…? Why are you laughing like that?”
“Just… because I feel good.”
What kind of face is Aileen making right now?
Is she smiling? Or worrying?
Whatever.
We’re alive!
Huu… someday, if I get the chance, I really want to see it.
Aileen’s expression.
And her ordinary everyday life, too.
Puhiiiing—
Crunch— crunch—
“U-uwaah! It’s eating a gn-gnoll…! Hey! Uh… your name is… ah, whatever! Horse! Horsey! Th-that’s dirty! Y-you crazy bastard! You’re a herbivore…!”