Training (3)
1.
I died.
Why? No idea...
I charged in ready to die, but I never thought I'd actually die...
I didn't even feel like I was dying.
Honestly, I didn't realize I was dead at all.
Cartia saw it and mocked me with a sneer, while Sirin offered advice with a bitter smile.
My burst-open head still throbbed and rang... ugh.
Still, well... maybe because my head exploded, my mind felt pretty clear.
I think I can calm down a little and fight properly now.
"You charged in all fired up and died right away. Pathetic little shit."
Be quiet... I'm embarrassed too.
2.
This time my torso got pulverized and I died.
Still no idea why.
I mean, I got hit by a greatsword, but my whole body getting crushed like that... does that even make sense...?
Hmm... looking at the magic beasts I've killed, I can kind of understand it, but...
Am I... that weak?
"What, you thought you were strong?"
Well... no, but... I still beat a Master, though...
"I'd beat a punk like that with one hand, you brat."
...You've never even seen him.
4.
I blocked Sirin's sword once!
Then died immediately after...
This time my belly skin is stretched tight and taut... it hurts...
Cartia was still sneering, and Sirin was explaining why I'd died.
The main point was to watch until the end and dodge.
But I can't see.
Sirin's an idiot.
"You think that literally means look with your eyes? Hell, use the eye of your heart, or that Qi Sensing you're so good at. Kids these days, I swear."
C-Cartia's a hag.
9.
I swung Cartia's greatsword—the one I used to only manage twice—thirteen whole times!
Then I collapsed and slowly died.
For the first time I felt myself dying...
It wasn't a pleasant feeling.
Lonely, freezing, cold, and painful.
What was Rubia doing right about now...
I miss—
"Hey, you crying? Crying? Kuhahaha! Look at the crybaby! Pathetic little shit!"
Ah, seriously, so annoying...
17.
I heard the name of the greatsword I was holding.
Frey.
She said she named it after her own surname.
Different spelling or something.
The meaning attached to the greatsword was prayer.
A prayer wishing for victory.
...Pretty sentimental for a grandma.
"You're really asking to die, huh?"
Ebebe... Must be nice being so old, Grandma.
45.
The mental energy it took to swing the greatsword had decreased.
Now I could swing it a hundred times no problem!
Considering I used to die after a dozen or so swings, that was huge progress!
But I still couldn't even nick Sirin's collar.
"Think while you fight, think. You leave your brain at home to trade for candy or what? Huh? Where the sword's flying from, what it's aiming at when it swings—once you see that, how you should move. One by one, in detail, paying attention even to that pathetic body of yours."
She's not even the one doing it and she's giving a whole lecture...
"Shut your mouth... before I shut it for you."
Mmph-bluh-ugh... kuh, gah...
70.
Then.
I thought back to the sensation of cutting Sirin's collar.
The feeling of sword and body becoming one.
Not my body swinging, but my soul.
Like carving my sword path into the space itself.
"Oh, look at that. You only get your head on straight after a good cussing. For a scrub like you, that was a pretty decent strike. Missed, though. Keep at it, scrub."
C-can you just praise me cleanly for once... Why do you always mix in swearing...?
"Then swing your sword a little cleaner. I don't like mixing swears into praise either."
...You're seriously the worst.
92.
Ahh!! So damn close!!
If the greatsword had been just a little longer I could've cut the collar!!
Ha, shit... I was almost there.
Really, so close...
"I deliberately gave you the distance, you dumbass. You can't even tell that and you charge in like a dog in heat?"
...N-no I didn't? It's because I got better.
"Heh, sure. Then do it again next time."
113.
Cartia was right.
After that I never reached her again...
She really had been giving me the distance.
...That's cheating!
"What's cheating about it. You fell for it, that's on you."
Ah, come on! Take my side for once! Why do you only ever curse me out? Huh? I'm already dying here!!
"Fucking hell... Still, well. You worked hard."
...Just curse me. The praise is so cringy it feels weird.
"Even that gets you bitching, you little shit of a kid."
206.
I finally cut the collar.
It took forever.
Or did it not take that long?
I don't know.
"You have grown somewhat, so I shall increase the time dilation. Will you stop here and leave?"
I grabbed the greatsword lying on the ground and stood.
"From now on this body shall use not only the sword, but magic as well. So it would be fine if you quit soo—"
I kicked off the ground and charged in.
[...]
338.
I'm not hungry.
I don't get sleepy.
I don't feel like eating.
I don't feel like sleeping.
I miss the sensation of wanting to eat.
I miss the sensation of wanting to sleep.
I thought it would just be nice.
It wasn't at all.
391.
Rubia.
I miss her.
442.
I cut off Sirin's arm.
491.
A leg.
598.
Both arms.
672.
Both legs.
711.
Ah.
971.
I.
1006.
What.
1173.
Am I.
1392.
Doing this shit.
1552.
For?
1660.
Rubia.
1922.
For Rubia.
2195.
I rose from my place.
2312.
I lifted the greatsword.
2501.
A strange light flickered in Sirin's eyes.
2842.
I can't hear Cartia's nagging anymore.
3110.
Sword.
Cutting.
A greatsword is the same.
How... was I... using... the greatsword?
3308.
Countless sword paths drew themselves in my mind.
Sirin's path.
And 'my' path.
Which one is right?
3918.
All of them were wrong.
No, not wrong.
I just didn't like them.
4130.
So.
4472.
Again.
I tore everything down.
From the beginning, again, I had to build it up.
4601.
It was drawn.
A path for me alone.
4819.
I stretched out my foot.
5102.
One step.
5199.
Two steps.
I advanced slowly.
5398.
And.
5422.
I reached her.
6037.
The sound of steel striking steel.
The sound of blood droplets scattering.
The sound of those scattered droplets being cut by the sword once more.
The sound of magic being cut by the sword.
And again.
The sound of steel striking steel.
The killing intent Sirin unleashed crushed my body.
The sound of the greatsword swinging sliced through skin.
The sword path Sirin carved, painted in my Qi Sensing, looked ready to split my skull.
Zzt— a sensation like something scraping inside my head pointed upward.
I trusted that sensation and tried to raise the greatsword.
But I didn't.
Block, and it breaks.
Deflect, and I get swept away.
I can't dodge either.
So.
Just die.
Together.
I poured every last scrap of energy remaining in my body into the greatsword and detonated it.
I forced my trembling legs to twist and threw myself into the line of the blade.
And I scattered everything.
Puhwaak—!
From my right shoulder down to my left hip, Sirin's greatsword carved through me.
The sound of hide tearing.
The sound of bone shattering.
The sound of liver being sliced, lungs being ripped, guts bursting.
The weight in my hands grew light.
Qi Sensing winked out and my body went cold.
Cartia's nagging sank into the dark.
And.
Onto my body tumbling across the ground, Sirin's head fell.
For the first time, Sirin died first.
The corners of my mouth lifted.
"...Ugh."
The moment I came to, I stretched a hand into empty air and seized Frey.
"Good morning."
Cartia stood there with her usual crooked posture, and
"Did you sleep well?"
Sirin smiled with quiet satisfaction.
"Wipe your drool. Ugh, gross."
"Sss... H-how many times... did I kill Sirin?"
I wiped the drool from my chin and pushed myself up.
"A hundred and twenty-two."
"Hehheh... A lot... I killed her a lot."
A silly laugh scattered on the wind.
"Happy?"
"Yeah..."
"Then why the hell do you keep talking casual?"
"We're partners... so... casual's fine, right...? Yo...?"
This time Cartia's laughter rolled across the wasteland.
"Even so, you little shit. I've lived ten years longer than you. As a ghost, roughly a thousand more. Tch, some brat whose forehead blood hasn't even dried yet, where do you get off—"
"If I call you Grandma you'll get mad again..."
I ignored Cartia grumbling beside me and stretched my body out long and slow.
"This is the limit. You know it as well, do you not?"
"Limit...?"
How many times had I died again.
"Roughly eight thousand."
Cartia's voice came, sounding thoroughly fed up.
"You cut my collar. You cut my arms, you cut my legs. You cut magic, you cut Words of Power. You cut the earth, you cut the sky."
Sirin set her greatsword down.
"And in the end, you killed me."
She stretched an empty hand into the air.
"I acknowledge it."
Space tore, collapsed, twisted.
"Yet still, you have not undone that which binds you."
The hand at the heart of the chaos slowly closed into a fist.
"It is the arrangement that becomes the key to all things, so it cannot be helped. Still, I find myself a little disappointed."
And when Sirin's hand had fully clenched,
"This is the last time."
In her grip was a greatsword identical in shape to Frey.
"Noah. Show me your path."
I couldn't discard my stats.
I couldn't discard my traits.
My body crumbled.
My mind crumbled.
I got irritated.
I got angry.
I resented.
I despaired.
I regretted.
But I stood up.
I still hadn't fully grasped what my sword was.
I still hadn't fully grasped what my path was.
Even so, I moved forward.
Why?
I, who had no sense of mission to save the world.
What did I want.
What was it for?
"Rubia."
I want Rubia not to die.
I want Rubia to dream of a future.
I want Rubia to stop hurting.
I want Rubia to smile at ease.
I want Rubia to be happy.
"Now you're starting to look halfway decent, you shit."
I smirked and raised Frey high.
It was heavy.
Heavier than before.
But.
"It's light."
The weight of the sword... was light.
"Haa... It's finally over."
"My body... definitely feels lighter."
Ser sat bolt upright on the bed and looked herself over this way and that.
"Thank you, Lady Rubia."
"Yes... but... um, now that it's all finished, can I ask? Ser, aren't you hard to kill, like me?"
"That is correct."
"Then why... were you dying?"
No matter how I thought about it, it didn't make sense.
If she was in the same situation as me, even if her limbs were cut off and her body crushed she should regenerate.
Dying from a mere curse like this...
"It is not an ordinary curse. Well, it is rather ambiguous to even call it a curse—"
Thud—
"...Huh?"
Thud—
"It seems she is finally coming. A week... we took a long time as well, but it appears they took quite a while over there too."
"W-wait... wait a second, Ser!"
"Yes?"
Thud—!
"Hurry... hurry and put some clothes on! Hurry!"
"Ah. Now that you mention it."
"No...! Don't take your time! Hurry!"
"Why are you so urgent? Is this not all part of the healing process? I believe it was an indispensable step to better sense the flow of divine power."
Kuuung—!
"No! Shut up and put them on already!"
"My. Lady Rubia. Did you just drop the formal speech?"
"Please... please!"
"Ah. Is that so. Now that we have grown close, you intend to speak casually? Hmm, but I find formal speech more comfortable. And, just like me, Lady Rubia is also undressed, is she not. I believe it would be better if Lady Rubia dressed first—"
Crack— crackle—
Craaash—!
"Hmm, and the healing has just finished... as well... uh, um... Cartia! Quickly cover Noah's eyes!"
"...Uweh? W-why all of a sudden?!"
"What? What the... fucking hell! Hey! Hey hey! She's blind anyway, what are you covering! Just snatch the greatsword already!"
"Impossible! This body's limbs all ache right now! Noah! Take your hand off the greatswor— ah."
Step— step—
"Rubia?"
"...Yeheh?"
"What are you doing?"
"...H-healing."
"Completely naked?"
"No, Noah. This is... all, uh, unavoidable. You trust me, right? Really, nothing—"
Crack— crackle—
"Waa... Lord Noah seems to have grown much stronger. She only released mana, yet cracks are forming in the barrier Lady Sirin worked so hard to create. She has certainly become stronger. Though still weaker than me, I believe. Hoho."
"Aigoo, fucking hell... we're screwed."