Training (1)
“...I have to get out.”
“Hm?”
Sirin, who had been stretching with her greatsword planted in the ground, tilted her head.
“I said... I have to get out. Quickly.”
“And why, all of a sudden?”
“...Uh... th-the bathroom.”
[Oh for fuck’s sake, you dense little shit. Is it that hard to just say the crazy bitch might try to jump Rubia’s bones and you need to go check?]
P-please stop.
[Stop what? I’m right and you know it. When we’re linked this deep I can feel everything, you know?]
...You’re both women.
[Bullshit. So what, the only reason you two go at it like animals is because one of you used to be a guy?]
W-what... what do you mean “go at it like animals”?! We never—!
[Never? I heard every damn thing you two were about to do the second you stepped into Cartia.]
“Ah, if that’s all, you needn’t worry. I’ll make one for you right now.”
Sirin snickered and snapped her fingers once more.
Kuuung—
[See? She actually made a bathroom. You’re fucked now, kid.]
“The soundproofing is perfect. Go on.”
Still smirking, Sirin waved a hand at me with that sly, knowing look—like she could see straight through me and was enjoying every second of it.
“...Th-that...”
“What? Are you worried about Rubia?”
[Whoa. She knows and she’s still pulling this shit?]
“...Yes.”
“Do you truly believe Ser would do anything strange to her?”
“Th-that’s... uh... um...”
Sirin snorted and resumed her stretches, gripping the hilt of her greatsword.
“Well, I suppose Rubia’s looks could turn even a woman’s head. I’ll grant you that.”
“...Huh?”
“She doesn’t even wear makeup, yet her skin is smooth and pale as milk. And that scent she carries—isn’t it pleasant?”
“Y-you’re... not wrong...”
Pale I couldn’t confirm, but smooth? Yeah. I knew that much.
And the scent... there was something about it that just settled the heart...
“Her chest is large, her waist so thin you wonder how it supports them, and her hips are wide enough to make a man weep.”
[True. Completely different league from flat-chested rejects like us.]
“Come to think of it, even Ser—who claims she doesn’t care for women—might find herself tempted.”
“...So please just let me out.”
“I cannot.”
[Hey. That bastard’s smiling.]
“...Why not?”
“I lack the mana to send you outside.”
[Don’t fall for that silver tongue. She’s lying. That thing never runs out of mana.]
“Do you have any idea how much mana it takes to construct this space?”
Just as Cartia said, Sirin wore that cryptic little smile as she glanced around.
“A space completely severed from the world. Time flows differently here. Injuries reverse themselves. Death itself is undone. Food, bathrooms, sleep—you could live an entire lifetime without lifting a finger.”
Then her gaze returned to me.
“Even the gods cannot peer inside. Do you understand how difficult it is to create such a place?”
[Uh... is she actually telling the truth?]
“Of course I have enough mana to send one little thing like you out. But I see no reason whatsoever to strain myself for your sake.”
No reason?
I clearly... I clearly told her earlier.
“Do you not trust Rubia?”
“I do...”
“Then we may begin training.”
Sirin grinned and drew her greatsword.
“Th-that’s not—”
[You don’t trust that crazy spirit mage, that’s what. Who knows what weird shit she’ll pull? Even if her body’s not at full strength, subduing one Rubia would be easy, right?]
“Very well. Let us assume the worst. Do you truly believe you could stop her?”
Power entered Sirin’s voice.
“...Th-that’s... something I’d have to try—”
“Hah. Arrogant. You would never win. This body guarantees it. In this world, the number of humans who could even trade blows with that child Ser can be counted on one hand.”
[Yeah, she’s right. You couldn’t beat that lunatic right now. Hell, you probably couldn’t even touch her collar.]
Grit—
My teeth ground together at words I couldn’t deny.
“Then... what the hell am I supposed to do?”
The edge in my voice slipped out before I could stop it.
[This little shit. Look at the attitude when an adult is talking.]
“I shall be honest with you, Noah. You are not alive today by your own strength alone. You have felt it, have you not?”
“Th-that...”
“Do not take those fateful encounters for granted. Do not treat good fortune as something you deserved. As I told you before—do not swagger around relying on your stats.”
The smile vanished from Sirin’s face.
“You were lucky. Your head remains on your shoulders because others showed you mercy. Behind every reason you still draw breath stands someone who lived a far more wretched life than yours.”
Mana began to rise from Sirin’s body.
“That is how you reached this place.”
My breath caught. A terrible killing intent crushed the space around us.
“Stop acting so pitiful and draw your sword.”
I bit down hard on my lip, shook off the pressure, and pulled the greatsword from my hip.
“If you can cut my collar as you did last time, I shall send you out. But I will not offer the same conditions as before.”
I raised the greatsword. It felt a little heavier than usual.
“As I said earlier—here, even death is not death. Twist and sever every limb, and they will return to normal.”
Sirin’s voice pointed toward the bracelet on my right wrist.
“This body will kill you. So fight with everything you have.”
[...Absolutely not.]
“You can do this.”
[It’s too dangerous.]
The moment I tried to draw Cartia’s greatsword, her voice slammed into my mind and locked my body in place.
[This is a matter of the mind. The body can break and still recover. But if your mind shatters, you’ll be a vegetable in no time.]
The bracelet trembled violently.
[I have no idea how we went from “let me out so the crazy bitch doesn’t jump Rubia” to this, but the answer is still no. It’s genuinely dangerous. Maybe when you’re stronger. Not now. Listen to me.]
It pissed me off.
Yeah... I already know I’m weak.
Alrba Village.
Without Hermila, I would have died.
The East Ruins.
Without Luci and Heinzel, I would have died.
Roholan.
Same story.
Carpeng.
Luci.
Kalt.
Rubia, Charlotte, Yuria, Hepais.
The avalanche I don’t even remember, and the Tyrant.
Me.
There is nothing I have ever accomplished alone.
And yet I’m still alive.
Because Hermila happened to find me.
Because Luci and Heinzel happened to be there.
Because of coincidence.
Because of luck.
I survived.
Sure, I struggled. I clawed and scraped and refused to die.
But what does that even matter?
Everything that actually got done was done by someone else.
In the end, there is not a single thing I achieved purely on my own.
No... that’s not it.
That’s not what pisses me off.
Whether I’m weak or not.
Whether I was lucky or not.
None of that matters.
What truly grates on me right now is—
[Hey. I said no. Listen to your elder.]
—the fact that ever since we arrived in Cartia,
[No matter how much you throw a tantrum, I will not allow it. You will never draw—]
—more and more people have started touching Rubia.
That is what pisses me off the most.
[Huh?? What? What is it?]
I hate the way every single person in Cartia appraises Rubia with their eyes.
I hate the gazes that feel like they’re monitoring her every move.
[Uh... uh-oh? Wait, what?]
I hate that Bishur used Rubia to test me.
I hate not knowing what Ser and Rubia are doing right now.
“Huu...”
I drove the greatsword in my hands into the ground.
Then I stretched my empty hands forward
and tore open the feelings I had buried deep in a corner of my heart.
The feelings I felt in Urusphier.
The feelings I felt the moment I entered Cartia.
The feelings that rose when I first gripped Cartia’s greatsword.
Every filthy emotion I had carried since arriving in this world.
The ugly things I could only drag into the light because Rubia was not here.
[...What... the hell... is this...?]
I accepted them.
[You... why the fuck are you still alive instead of offing yourself...? Are you even sane? No—are you even human?]
The mana inside my body answered.
Something that had been sleeping in the deepest place rose, devouring those filthy emotions as it woke.
[Holy fucking shit... my partner is even crazier than the spirit mage. Aigoo, I’m screwed too now.]
I let out a short laugh at Cartia’s hollow voice
and clenched my fists.
Kuuung—
The mana that erupted shook the entire space.
Incompatible forces tangled together, twisting and tearing the air.
A heavy weight settled into my hands.
“Hahahaha! The legendary sword, the holy sword, the sword of salvation—it has been called many names. But the blade you have forged... it looks as though you gathered every terrible thing in existence and hammered it into the shape of a greatsword! I like it very much!”
I shaped the form of the greatsword in my grip.
An utterly ordinary greatsword with nothing special about it.
I could not see its color.
But I knew.
[Fuck... fuck... my beautiful, glittering gold... it’s been defiled...]
Dark crimson.
“How differently... does time flow here...?”
“Roughly one day here equals one hour outside.”
I nodded and gripped the greatsword with both hands.
[You little shit. Fine. Do whatever the hell you want.]
I settled into my stance.
[But if you’re going to do it, do it properly. I’ll try to keep your mind from breaking as much as I can. Though... you’re already so far gone it might not matter.]
I slowly steadied my breathing and opened my mouth.
“You said... I absolutely won’t die, right...?”
“I guarantee it.”
“I see...”
“An ordinary human’s limit is twice. A fairly decent one might manage a dozen or so. Ser lasted three hundred ninety-two times.”
Sirin, who had been standing at a lazy angle, straightened her posture.
“I am curious how many times a creature like you will endure.”
“Mm... but.”
I felt the weight of every emotion clenched in my hands.
“If Sirin dies, she comes back too, right?”
I opened my eyes.