Sharing All Memories
He was curious about those thoughts.
So that’s why they said not to get close to women.
On the other hand, he felt a pang of guilt toward Simma.
Simma had wanted to know the identity of the woman who once tried to strangle him to death.
Yet he had never revealed that it was his own mother.
Those memories—of his mother and of Baek Yu-hwa—were the only ones he wished to keep entirely for himself.
By now he’s probably figured it out…
There was no way the brilliant Simma hadn’t noticed. The simple fact that he had stopped asking about the woman made it obvious.
Since things have come this far, should I just tell him everything?
Because of those horrifying memories of the mother who had suddenly appeared, Simma could not train his inner energy. At this rate, no matter how gifted Simma was, he would never stand a chance against the Blood Emperor. Not in ten years. Not even in a hundred.
For the sake of their revenge, he had to clear away the obstacles blocking Simma.
But is it really all right to do that?
The idea of sharing every last memory with Simma filled him with an unexpected fear. It was the unease that came from knowing Simma surpassed him in every possible way.
What if his own sense of self was devoured by Simma?
Could he still call that person “me”?
After turning the question over in his mind for a long time, Dan Yeop picked up his brush.
He had already decided: If I can have my revenge on the Blood Emperor, it’s fine even if I disappear.
Dan Yeop began recording his childhood memories in the white notebook with meticulous care. Strangely, the recollections from his earliest years rose fresh and clear.
When it comes to moments like this, I guess I’m not a complete fool after all.
He even remembered the vicious words his mother had hurled at him when he was still an infant. As each character took shape beneath his brush, his face flickered between pain and catharsis.
Next he wrote about Baek Yu-hwa. He began with the scent of her body that he had first noticed in Byeongmachong. Then came the fierce light in her eyes and the sharp words she had used while teaching him martial arts… how overjoyed he had been to meet her again at the Jeommun branch.
He had been writing for some time when droplets of water began to fall onto the white pages.
……
Only then did Dan Yeop realize how deeply he had loved her. The regret crashed over him like a wave: If I had understood this sooner, I would have confessed.
The knowledge that he had never told her his feelings while she was alive hurt so much it felt as if his chest were being torn apart. And with that pain came a fresh surge of killing intent toward the Blood Emperor.
So he closed the notebook with a vow of vengeance.
"...If I can kill the Blood Emperor and avenge Junior Sister Baek, I would sell my soul to the devil."
Of course, the devil in question was Simma. It meant that if Simma would only grant him revenge, Dan Yeop would surrender his body.
After finishing, he read through the white notebook from the very first page.
Huh?
The lives of Simma and himself seemed different, yet eerily alike. Anyone who didn’t know the truth would think it was the diary of a single person.
Perhaps that was why.
The instinctive rejection he felt toward Simma was beginning to fade, little by little.
Chapter 71. The Water in the Gourd and the Lake Water
The next day.
After finishing breakfast, Dan Yeop left Son-taek as usual.
The truth was that he had poured everything into the white notebook with the resolve that it no longer matters if Simma takes control of this body. Even so, he did not immediately summon him. He suspected that doing so might mark his own end.
In reality, Dan Yeop’s extreme imagination stemmed from the fact that he still did not know how to cure juwha-ipma. The other self—Simma—had already learned the Yi-won-gwi-il-gong from the ancient Taoist Red Pine as a remedy for the divided-heart technique. But the childhood trauma engraved into him still blocked any progress in internal cultivation, leaving him paralyzed.
Unaware of any of this, Dan Yeop lived each day with the desperate urgency of a man whose time was running out.
Seonpyeong-bang. Jipdanhyang, the main headquarters of the Jeommun branch. The An-sik-heon.
Around nine in the morning, Dan Yeop entered the An-sik-heon. The Jeommun experts who had arrived earlier gathered around him at once.
Baek Cho-gong, the branch leader, looked at him with pitying eyes.
“Instructor Dan, you’re here. You could have rested longer—why come back so soon?”
To the others, Dan Yeop’s absence had been explained as a simple cold. But Baek Cho-gong had heard the truth from Patrol Leader So Wol-hwa. Seeing Dan Yeop’s haggard face made his nose sting with emotion.
“How could I rest while everyone else works? I need to do my part.”
At Dan Yeop’s answer, Baek Cho-gong nodded with an effort at composure.
“Good. Throwing yourself into physical training should help clear your head a little.”
Dan Yeop exchanged greetings with the other Jeommun experts, then began teaching the True Hundred Flow Saber Style as he always did.
Around five in the afternoon, the training session ended as usual. Baek Cho-gong, the vice-leader, and the hall masters left the An-sik-heon one by one.
Im Song, the literary warrior, hesitated before approaching Dan Yeop.
“Instructor, do you have any plans this evening?”
“None.”
“Then would you care to share a drink with me?”
“Gladly.”
The memory of drinking with Im Song and Baek Yu-hwa came to mind, so Dan Yeop accepted without hesitation.
Hwaun-ru.
As expected, Im Song led him to Hwaun-ru. The two men sat across from each other at the same table where they had often drunk with Baek Yu-hwa.
When the ordered liquor and snacks arrived, Im Song silently filled three cups to the brim. The third cup was presumably for Baek Yu-hwa.
Dan Yeop did not ask. He simply lifted his own cup.
The two drank in heavy silence, as if by agreement.
Once the warmth of the alcohol began to rise, Im Song finally spoke.
“The Heavenly Dao Association has ordered us to withdraw from this matter. They say we ruined everything with our mistake…”
The Blood Emperor, who had killed Vice-Commander Yi Deok-myeong, had vanished like a ghost. The Heavenly Dao Association then placed the blame for losing him squarely on Haomun, claiming Haomun was used by the Blood Emperor and sabotaged the operation.
It was unfair, but because the mistake had indeed been tied to Baek Yu-hwa, they could not refute it. Even if they had, the outcome would likely have been the same.
In any case, the Heavenly Dao Association excluded Haomun and entrusted the task to the Beggars’ Sect instead.
“Aren’t they the ones who failed?” Dan Yeop asked. He found the claim ridiculous.
The Heavenly Dao Association had been powerless even while the Blood Emperor rampaged through the south. The result would have been identical no matter where he fled. They simply could not catch him. If they could have, they would have ended him in the south instead of allowing him to reach Guannei Circuit.
“Haa… If word spreads that they let the Blood Emperor slip away, their reputation suffers. So they’re shifting the blame onto us because we’re an easy target.”
“Then where has the Blood Emperor gone?”
“Everyone assumes he has returned to the south.”
For a moment Dan Yeop unconsciously ground his teeth. Im Song glanced at his face and continued.
“There are rumors that if the Blood Emperor has joined the Thousand Lotuses, he will be nearly impossible to find.”
“That makes sense.”
The Thousand Lotuses was an organization that had defied the imperial family for centuries. If they were sheltering him, he would not be found easily.
“The Thousand Lotuses are rebels, but they have never committed evil deeds before. I don’t understand why they would accept a demon like the Blood Emperor.”
“I don’t know their reasons, but they will regret it.”
Dan Yeop had no intention of forgiving anyone connected to Baek Yu-hwa’s death.
That night, when he returned to the annex, he added the name of the Thousand Lotuses to the white notebook.
Dan Yeop returned to his previous routine. On the surface, at least. Each morning he went to Jipdanhyang to instruct the Jeommun experts; each evening he returned to Son-taek.
About ten days after Baek Yu-hwa’s death, while Dan Yeop was teaching the True Hundred Flow Saber Style in the An-sik-heon, a young Jeommun disciple entered and called for him.
“Instructor.”
Dan Yeop immediately sheathed his blade and approached the boy.
“What is it?”
“Young Master Na Bu-gang of the Jinbo Merchant Guild has come asking to see you.”
“Young Master Na came to Jipdanhyang?”
“Yes. He is waiting in the main building. What should I tell him?”
“Tell him I’ll be there shortly.”
“Understood.”
The boy turned and ran off.
As Dan Yeop stood lost in thought, Baek Cho-gong approached.
“Do you know Na Bu-gang?”
“When I worked at the Yang family fabric shop, I sold him expensive clothes.”
That was the full extent of Dan Yeop’s impression of the man. It had been Simma who had sworn brotherhood with Na Bu-gang; afterward, Na Bu-gang had deliberately kept his distance.
“I see. It won’t hurt to be on good terms with the eldest son of the Jinbo Merchant Guild.”
Dan Yeop offered no reply. He simply left the An-sik-heon.
When he entered the main building, Na Bu-gang approached with an awkward smile.
“I didn’t expect to meet again so soon. I only came to find out where you were working.”
He had walked into the Jeommun headquarters on impulse while searching for Dan Yeop and was clearly surprised by the discovery.
“What brings you to see me?”
Even at Dan Yeop’s indifferent tone, Na Bu-gang did not look disappointed. After all, the distance between them had been his own doing.
“This isn’t the place for such talk. Shall we move somewhere else? I won’t take much of your time.”
“All right.”
Dan Yeop bore the man no particular ill will, so he did not refuse. Unlike Simma, to him Na Bu-gang was simply the eldest son of the Jinbo Merchant Guild.
Na Bu-gang took him to the nearby Pungjin-ru. It was still midwinter; speaking outside would have been difficult.
As soon as they sat down, Na Bu-gang ordered warmed wine and snacks. Until the food arrived, neither spoke.
Soon the wine and dishes were brought out. Na Bu-gang filled two empty cups with the warm liquor, then slid one toward Dan Yeop.
“You must think me shameless.”
“……”
Instead of answering, Dan Yeop lifted his cup and sipped slowly.
“May I offer an excuse?”
Dan Yeop set his half-empty cup down with deliberate care.
“Isn’t that why you came?”
At the calm remark, Na Bu-gang let out a long sigh.
“Haa… Yes, it is. The Jinbo Merchant Guild has not yet properly established itself in Chang’an. We wanted to avoid any further gossip or finger-pointing.”
“You did what you had to. But why have you sought me out now?”
“When I ran into you by chance at Hwawol-ru, I realized how foolish I had been. I should never have treated you that way simply because you belong to Haomun. I’m sorry.”
At Na Bu-gang’s apology, Dan Yeop gave a bitter smile. He felt nothing.
Whether it was because he was not the one who had sworn brotherhood with the man, or because nothing in the world seemed to matter after Baek Yu-hwa’s death, he could not say.
“So? You came just to apologize?”
“I was the one who abandoned our bond of brotherhood first. No matter how many excuses I make, I have nothing to say in my defense. Still, I hope you will at least accept my apology.”
“If accepting it will ease your mind, then I will.”
Dan Yeop believed he possessed at least that much authority while he still held control of the body.
“Thank you.”
Na Bu-gang seemed slightly wounded by Dan Yeop’s emotionless tone, but he could only endure it. Everything that had happened was his own fault.
Having nothing else to discuss with the man, Dan Yeop simply sipped the warmed wine. Na Bu-gang, sensing that Dan Yeop was somehow different from before, watched him carefully.
Finally he asked, almost unintentionally, “Did something happen to you?”
“Do I look that way?”
“Your expression is much darker than it used to be.”
“What was it like before?”
Dan Yeop was curious how Simma had appeared in the other man’s eyes.
“When I saw you at the Yang family fabric shop, you were bright and optimistic.”
Tsk.
Dan Yeop snorted inwardly. As expected of the flawless genius Simma. The faint sense of kinship he had felt after reading the notebook vanished in an instant.
If Simma was a lofty crane, then he was nothing but an earthworm.
There’s no way we could be the same.
While thinking this, a question suddenly occurred to him.
“Young Master Na.”
“Hm?”
“The water—”