I Want to Become a Haomun Disciple
“Hahaha! Young Master Dan, come in quickly. Take that empty seat over there.”
“Yes.”
Dan Yeop sat down across from the boy.
Before the servants could ask, Gwak Jin-sa spoke first.
“He’s on his way home after taking the civil service exam and asked to stay one night. Come to think of it, he must be Jeong-an’s senior. Young Master Dan, if you don’t mind my asking, how old are you?”
“I’m eighteen this year.”
“As expected! Jeong-an is quite a bit younger. Jeong-an, since he’s your senior, ask him if you get stuck on your studies.”
“Yes, Grandfather.”
When Gwak Jeong-an answered politely, a pleased smile spread across Gwak Jin-sa’s face.
Dan Yeop glanced at Gwak Jeong-an.
With his fair skin and bright expression, it was clear he was dearly loved at home.
Just then, Gwak I-do, Gwak Jeong-an’s father, asked with a curious look.
“So, Young Master Dan, you stayed in Chang’an Castle after the exam?”
“I got caught up in poetry and ended up staying. As they say, when you’re lost in immortal pleasures, you don’t notice the hatchet handle rotting away—I didn’t realize until my money ran out.”
It was something he’d said after seeing the scholars in Chang’an Castle completely absorbed in composing poems.
As expected!
Gwak Jin-sa’s household burst into laughter without the slightest suspicion. They all knew how the young lords of Chang’an Castle spent their days drowning in poetry.
After laughing for a while, Jin Eun-seol suddenly spoke.
“Young Master Dan, if there’s a poem that stuck with you, please recite one for us.”
She had always possessed exceptional talent for poetry and literature. Gwak Jin-sa himself had once said that if she had been born a man, she would have passed the civil service exam with flying colors. The mention of poetry had stirred her interest.
Dan Yeop’s gaze turned to Jin Eun-seol.
In that instant, his expression froze.
That woman.
She was exactly how the old woman had described the one who had tried to strangle him as an infant.
He realized the mad old woman’s words had been true.
There was no doubt that the baby girl Jin Eun-seol had tried to kill was himself.
For a moment, the old woman’s voice echoed in his mind.
—Aigoo, how terrifying. Don’t say such dreadful things. That can’t happen. Our young lady also tried to kill the baby girl she gave birth to. Do you know how anxious I was, fearing the child would die?
—She went to Gwangbul Temple and suffered something terrible there. Then she suddenly gave birth.
—How could they be so alike? The mark on our young lady’s neck is exactly the same.
—Yes, that’s right. The following year she got married. I followed the young lady into the Gwak residence then.
Seeing Dan Yeop frozen in a daze, Gwak Jin-sa spoke up.
“Young Master Dan, what are you thinking so deeply about? My daughter-in-law wants to hear a poem. Don’t tell me you can’t think of one?”
“Of course not. I happen to recall one. There was a poem called White Bones Hard to Forget. Shall I recite it?”
“Go ahead.”
Dan Yeop composed the poem on the spot.
“A father’s grace is heavier than a mountain,
A mother’s tender touch chokes the throat.
Grace is engraved deep within the bones,
Resentment lingers as a mark upon the skin.”
“How intriguing. Is this the sentiment of today’s youth? Eun-seol, what do you think?”
At her father-in-law’s question, Jin Eun-seol answered with a flustered expression.
“It seems realistic—grateful for parental grace yet leaving a trace of resentment.”
“Isn’t that so? Young people these days are so sharp. Still, at least they say grace is engraved in the bones, so there’s that. Jeong-an.”
“Yes, Grandfather.”
“You don’t feel nothing but gratitude toward your parents either, do you?”
“No. I hold no resentment at all. My parents raised me with complete devotion—how could I feel otherwise?”
“Haha! Good. I like that you’re not like other young people these days. Don’t act contrary just because you’re young—walk the straight path as you are now.”
“Yes.”
Jin Eun-seol ate without tasting her food. Though the poem spoke of never forgetting parental grace, the lines “a mother’s tender touch chokes the throat” and “resentment lingers as a mark upon the skin” pricked at her like thorns.
She glanced at Dan Yeop without thinking.
It was clearly a face she had never seen before, yet it felt strangely familiar.
Have I seen him before?
She had been taking outings with her son since he was four, so perhaps she had passed him by chance.
Gwak Jin-sa, displeased with Dan Yeop’s poem, changed the subject and avoided poetry for the rest of the meal.
Afterward, while drinking tea, Gwak Jin-sa finally addressed Dan Yeop.
“Young Master Dan, that poem White Bones Hard to Forget must have left quite an impression on you.”
“If I memorized it without trying, I suppose it did.”
“I see. What do your parents do back home?”
“My mother has passed, and my adoptive father teaches martial arts.”
“Adoptive father—were you sent to a relative’s house to continue the family line?”
“No. I’m an orphan with no one. My adoptive father took me in when I was wandering the marketplace.”
“Ah, I see. So that’s why…”
Gwak Jin-sa trailed off and nodded. An orphan with no family would naturally harbor both longing and resentment toward his parents.
Jin Eun-seol looked at Dan Yeop with a tense face and asked,
“Did Young Master Dan’s parents pass away from illness?”
“It happened when I was too young—I remember nothing. The only thing I remember is my adoptive father taking in a wandering child like me.”
“Ah, then where is your hometown?”
“My adoptive father said he found me in Nakan County. So I’ve vaguely assumed that might be it.”
“……”
The color drained from Jin Eun-seol’s face.
Staring intently at Dan Yeop, she asked carefully,
“How old were you when you met your adoptive father?”
“Four.”
At that, Jin Eun-seol let out a sigh of “Ah!” and slumped in her chair.
“Mother!”
“Wife!”
Gwak I-do and Gwak Jeong-an helped Jin Eun-seol up and took her into the inner quarters.
Gwak Jin-sa glared at Dan Yeop.
“It seems your visit to my house last night was no coincidence.”
Dan Yeop sensed that Gwak Jin-sa already knew about Jin Eun-seol’s past.
“I came to confirm something. And it seems my guess was correct.”
“To confirm?”
“I met an old woman named Jang in front of the inn last night. She said she had served Lady Jin since the Jin family estate…”
“That’s enough.”
“You already knew?”
“I studied together with Jin Ga-han, the head of the Jin family. His son insisted it had to be Eun-seol, so I had no choice but to agree.”
“I see.”
“What do you want? You must have something in mind, coming to my house and stirring up trouble. Money?”
“I can earn money just like anyone else.”
“Then why come disturb Eun-seol, who’s living well, and cause unnecessary trouble?”
“As you said, Lady Jin seems to be living well. But I’m not.”
“Hmph! So what? You say no, but in the end you want compensation?”
“It seems you’d prefer to settle this with money?”
“Stop beating around the bush and tell me what you want.”
“I don’t particularly want anything. I just wanted to know who my parents were and why they abandoned me.”
At Dan Yeop’s firm words, Gwak Jin-sa let out a long sigh.
“Haa… Your situation is pitiful, but at the time, there was no other choice.”
Dan Yeop stared quietly at Gwak Jin-sa.
No other choice at the time?
One look at the scar on his own neck would silence such words.
But he didn’t mention that Jin Eun-seol had tried to kill him.
Saying that would only make his own life seem too wretched.
“What happened at Gwangbul Temple?”
After struggling for a long time out of concern for the family’s reputation, Gwak Jin-sa finally spoke.
“Gwangbul Temple was where Jin Ga-han took his family to offer prayers. One day, while Jin Ga-han was talking with the abbot for a long time, Eun-seol was attacked by a woodcutter who frequented the temple. The woodcutter vanished that very day.”
“What was the woodcutter’s name?”
“I heard he had the surname Seok.”
“Seok…”
“But even that isn’t certain. The abbot investigated nearby villages and said he was a drifter.”
“……”
Dan Yeop was speechless.
He had never imagined such a sordid secret behind his birth.
Just then, Gwak I-do and Jin Eun-seol returned from the inner quarters.
Soon after, the two sat across from Dan Yeop.
After a long silence, Jin Eun-seol spoke.
“Young Master Dan, even if I had ten mouths, I couldn’t make excuses. What happened in the past was entirely my fault. I shouldn’t have done that.”
At the end of her words, large tears fell from Jin Eun-seol’s eyes.
It was genuine.
After losing her first child at the Jin family estate, she had given birth to Gwak Jeong-an at Gwak Taek. Pouring all her love into Gwak Jeong-an, she had been tormented by guilt.
She was deeply ashamed of how she had hated and abused her first child to the point of trying to kill him.
Still, they said time heals all wounds. She had only just begun to forget everything when the child she had abused came looking for her, now grown.
Dan Yeop said nothing.
As his silence stretched on, Jin Eun-seol spoke again.
“Young Master Dan, forgive me. It may sound like an excuse, but I wasn’t in my right mind back then. Sniff, sob!”
Overcome with emotion, she poured out tears and snot.
Dan Yeop, who had been sitting blankly, finally spoke.
“Lady Jin, thank you for saying that now. That doesn’t mean I forgive you.”
Honestly, Dan Yeop had no memories of her. That was something the original weak Dan Yeop, who had suffered at her hands, would have to decide.
With nothing more to say, he slowly rose from his seat.
When Jin Eun-seol began to sob quietly, Gwak I-do, unable to watch any longer, stepped in.
“She apologized now, and you’re grateful, yet you won’t forgive her? What kind of cruel thing is that to say?”
“Do you even know what Lady Jin did to me before saying something like that?”
“I don’t. But didn’t my wife say she wasn’t in her right mind back then? If everyone only pushes their own side, what will become of the world? You have to try to understand the other person’s position too.”
“Are you forcing the victim to understand the perpetrator’s situation?”
“Before victim and perpetrator, aren’t you parent and child? You’re not complete strangers—you’re family. What’s the point of acting like this between family?”
When Gwak I-do scolded him like a teacher, Dan Yeop suddenly burst into laughter.
“Puhahaha! You really are a perfect match for Lady Jin as a husband. Is this what they call birds of a feather? Or husband and wife in harmony? Either way, I have nothing more to say. Then I’ll take my leave.”
With that, Dan Yeop left without looking back.
58. I Want to Become a Haomun Disciple
Dan Yeop’s expression was dark as he rode back toward Chang’an Castle.
Everything was worse than he had imagined.
It wasn’t that he had never considered the possibility that the woman might be his biological mother.
Between the nursemaid and the biological mother, he had suspected the nursemaid more on moral grounds.
But the one who had tried to kill him was his own mother.
Gwak I-do told him to forgive her because she hadn’t been in her right mind, but he wasn’t sure he could say the same if he had been the one suffering.
Still, that’s no excuse.
Lady Jin had crossed the line by a long shot.
Rather than keeping him close and abusing him, she should have entrusted him to someone else to raise.
“What? Before victim and perpetrator, we’re parent and child? Tch! It’s easy to say when it’s someone else’s problem.”
Grumbling, Dan Yeop frowned.
In the distance, a carriage stood alone on the snowy road.
It was slightly tilted, as if one wheel had a problem.
As he approached, sure enough, one wheel was broken.
“Hm?”
But something was strange.
One wheel being broken was understandable, but the horse that should have been pulling the carriage—