Chapter 39
Chapter 39
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Translator: Ebonarch
Chapter: 39
Chapter Title: What Happened on Saint Euroa Day
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"Little brother! Get up already."
Midst of summer. From early morning, big sis Armida was making a huge fuss. I barely poked my head out from under the covers in a half-asleep daze and frowned at the sight of her noisily dashing up and down the hallway. She was usually the last one to wake up, so what was with the sudden commotion today?
"Sis, what's wrong?"
Armida noona huffed and puffed in front of my open door.
"It's Saint Euroa Day today!"
"So?"
"Oh, come on. Don't you know Saint Euroa Day is the biggest festival celebration in Kara?"
"Yeah? Why's that?"
"It's the day Euroa first visited Kara. My friend, that is."
Euroa was one of the Seven Saintesses who, during the dawn of civilization, assisted Saint Prosia in spreading the faith across this world.
"Yeah? But why is Saint Euroa your friend, sis?"
"You didn't know the Water Valkyrie is Saint Euroa?"
I was pretending not to know right now, but honestly, I'd had a rough idea. The legends of the Seven Saintesses had strong ties to the Valkyrie sisters.
But I wanted to ignore it. There was one part I just didn't want to acknowledge. Namely, the true identity of Armida noona, the Valkyrie of Darkness.
Our Karl family had upheld the faith of darkness until the Yosrahim Empire invaded. The problem was that the one who spread the faith of darkness in this world was none other than the holy and noble Grand Saintess Saint Armida.
One of the Seven Saintesses, who shared the exact same name as that Armida noona over there.
"For real?"
"Yes, really!"
"Then, just to be sure, you're not saying you're that 'Saint Armida,' are you? Not just a namesake?"
"Of course it's me. Didn't you know?"
This was bad. If I told Aunt Helen or the independent nobles in Karl territory about this, they'd foam at the mouth and call me crazy. They were pretending to be followers of the light god now, but secretly upholding the faith of darkness on the sly—and the saint they revered deep in their hearts was none other than that noona.
"Well, I kinda had a hunch..."
"Then why'd you ask? Anyway, hurry up and get ready. There's a ton of theater festivals today, and the Euroa Temple's throwing a huge celebration. We have to go check it out."
"Sounds fun. Have a great time. Eat lots and enjoy."
With that, I burrowed back under the covers. Looked like if I showed any enthusiasm, I'd be stuck with a super annoying schedule today.
"Little brother!"
"What?"
"You're really gonna do this? I got tickets for both the morning and evening shows."
"Give mine back."
As I pulled the covers over my head again, Armida noona dove under them and forcibly dragged me out.
"Hey! Get up!"
"No way. Too annoying."
As noona and I tussled, our faces ended up way too close by accident. We exchanged awkward glances amid a brief silence. My eyes locked onto her crimson lips, and I blinked before suddenly planting a light peck on them.
It was just a quick smooch, but Armida noona recoiled like she'd been shocked, letting out a scream of horror.
"Little brother! What the hell was that?!"
I sat up, flustered. Her over-the-top reaction had even startled Shura into rushing over.
"Master. What's going on?"
Even with Shura trying to calm her, Armida noona kept yelling.
"Hey, you brat! That was my first kiss! Apologize! You little jerk!"
I let out a hollow chuckle.
"What kiss? It was just a peck."
"A peck?"
"Yeah. Just a little lip touch. If that's a kiss, then nobody past infancy has pure lips anymore. Parents peck their babies all the time."
"So you're saying that wasn't a kiss?"
"Exactly. A real kiss is way more intense. That was basically just a greeting. Like good morning or good night. Man, sis, you're so innocent."
Armida noona's expression softened a bit as she tilted her head.
"Little brother. But we did touch lips, so couldn't you call it a kiss?"
"Nah~. Come on, sis. If we count that as your first kiss, family ethics go right out the window."
"Family ethics?"
"Yeah. We're basically family. I'm the husband, Shura's the wife."
I pulled Shura's waist close, pressing her snug against me. Armida noona pointed at herself.
"Then what am I?"
"The clueless spinster big sis freeloading at her little brother's newlywed home. Perfectly normal family setup."
"Hey!"
Armida noona's roar echoed through the room. With her nails out, she looked pretty dangerous. I hurriedly grabbed my outing clothes from the rack.
"What're you doing? Weren't we going out?"
Armida noona plopped down in a huff.
"I'm not going!"
"Come on. Let's go. I'll buy you lots of tasty stuff."
Noona glanced sideways.
"What?"
"Whatever you wanna eat, sis."
"Then steak. As much as I want."
"Deal. Cool?"
Armida noona reluctantly stood up.
"Fine, whatever. I'll show some magnanimity for my little brother's sake. Let's go."
Once Armida noona left, I let out a short sigh. Was I serving noona or raising a childish daughter? Couldn't tell anymore. But she was pretty, so it was fine. For some reason, I could forgive pretty much anything from a beautiful woman.
The streets were thick with festival vibes. Lotus shapes, revered as water flowers, lined the roads with strings of lanterns, and in plazas everywhere, bards and clowns were holding their own little shows, drawing in locals and mischievous kids.
"Little brother. Hurry up. The play's about to start."
Armida noona rushed ahead, urging me on. I stuck out my tongue and stared at her. I was carrying a medium-sized oak barrel filled with date palm juice, while Shura held a bag stuffed with a mountain of hot dogs.
All snacks for Armida noona during the play. How that figure stuffed away so much food was beyond me. Guess the strength of a Valkyrie came from her appetite.
"Come on in, folks~! The play 'The Depraved Grand Duke's Heir vs. the Heroes' is about to start to rave reviews. Hurry, hurry, come watch!"
In front of Kara's central cultural hall, I blinked wildly at the play title. I'd only followed because noona nagged, but this felt like something I shouldn't see.
Noona went into the building first, so I whispered to Shura.
"Shura? Think sis knows something about me?"
"Probably not. She's not that sharp or perceptive."
"Yeah, guess so?"
"Yes."
"Then let's go in. What can you do? She's clueless."
"Yes."
Our seats were VIP balcony spots on the third floor, set up for five people in one space.
We sat down, and the magic lanterns lighting the area winked out one by one, signaling the start of the play.
[Kuhahaha! I'll bring this world to ruin!]
The evil-looking actor playing me shouted, and I scratched my nose bridge. Suddenly, I was the villain trying to destroy the world. Even for fun, starting off by wrecking plausibility like this felt so unfair.
Soon came the 'Divinum Holy Site' scene. Play-me stopped a carriage and ran into a super handsome actor.
He was set as Hubeo Boris Perero, a promising young noble from a duke's family in sharp rivalry with me back at the Imperial Noble Academy.
Anyway, Hubeo graciously let the empire-fleeing me ride his carriage, and we entered the Divinum Grand Temple together. But there was a weird twist. His companion was a golden-haired elf with pale blue skin. Shura.
'Well, well~.'
Then the backstage incident unfolded. My ambition to steal the Seven Divine Artifacts from the sacred hall led to a sneak attack on Hubeo, sparking a gruesome slaughter. Hubeo, struck by a lucky hit, teetered on death's door from massive injuries, but answered the call of holy divinity and gained his family's treasure, the great divine artifact 'Storm God's Earth Staff Alroim,' fully recovering his strength.
Finally, Hubeo clashed with me using great magic power. But pushed back by my great demon king-level spells, he temporarily retreated to regroup.
Divinum Holy Site burning from my magic attacks. Sacred temples and historic relics crumbling and collapsing. Amid it all, I burst into mad laughter, mercilessly slaughtering people.
Shura glanced at me with a wary expression.
"Master. Did you really do all that?"
"No!"
I eyed the anxious Armida noona watching the play and jotted down the facts on paper with a pen. I'd only punched a few holes in the tower and broken one stained glass pane—the rest of the destruction was that damn Valkyrie Catrine's doing.
Plus, I'd never killed anyone at the Divinum Temple. Just lopped off one holy knight's arm when he lunged at me.
"Ah~."
After explaining to Shura, I clenched my fist. Hubeo, that bastard—if I got my hands on him, he was done for. From the story so far, it was clear he'd written the script or pulled major strings.
No way this factual mess-up would happen otherwise. Back then, Hubeo had been too scared to even leave the entrance office.
[Kuhahaha! Perish, world! Be defiled, divinity!]
With my villainous cry, the play reached its climax. Hubeo shuddered at my demon king-like power, praying to the gods for salvation.
At his plea, Shura, Ignatius, and Catrine awakened as Grand Saintesses, combining all the divine artifacts' magic into one ultimate attack on me. Called 'Hubeo Saint Trio EX.' I took the hit, my body engulfed in flames, screaming "Aaaah!" as I turned to ash and vanished.
As the grand finale curtain fell, Armida noona suddenly raged, hurling her hot dogs at the stage.
"Hey! You XXX! No cheating! Where the hell's the scene where Catrine eats shit?!"
The hall erupted in chaos thanks to her, and I shot noona a subtle side-eye. Looked like she'd watched this play—totally not her taste—just for the part where Catrine eats shit.
After the rowdy play, I split from the group for a bit. Armida noona wanted to hit the salon for her frizzy hair, so I bailed, saying I'd scout the Euroa Temple first.
You don't go with girls to the salon. Mess that up, and a precious day slips away.
'Though hitting on pretty local girls would be way better anyway.'
I headed out Kara's north gate toward the Euroa Temple. It was on an island south of Kara Lake, so you had to leave the city to visit.
First time on the temple path, but I went straight without getting lost. Crowds heading to the Euroa Temple filled the surroundings.
I glanced ahead and spotted a familiar back. Sunken eyes, corpse-like skinny master swordsman that pedestrians dodged—name escaped me.
"Hey~. Zombie dude~!"
Karun turned, spotted me, and scowled.
"It's Karun, I told you."
"I know. Karun. Wow~, saw you last time and here again. Been well?"
"Yeah. But what's a kid like you doing here?"
I hurried to catch up with Karun.
"Festival day, so I'm out playing."
"What're you gonna do at a festival?"
"Dunno. Try picking up girls first, maybe."
Karun eyed me piercingly and spat out a line.
"Got nothing to do? Go home then."
"Why~? It's a holy day."
"Then spend it holy at home."
I gave Karun a suspicious once-over.
"This guy's weird. Why so desperate to send me home?"
"Forget it."
Karun strode ahead fast, and I chased after. Bored anyway—perfect. I'd kill time bantering with this dude.
But he was curt the whole way. Last time, he seemed decent, but today? Maybe menopause hit suddenly.