Nice, Grollmog. Nice, Yosrahim Empire.
Nice, Grollmog. Nice, Yosrahim Empire.
A fierce wind howled from the morning onward, whipping sand across the entirety of Kara. Amid the raging sandstorm, I strolled down a quiet road. The streets of Kara felt unusually desolate today. Most shops had shuttered their doors, and even those that were open had pulled in their outdoor displays. No one in their right mind would try normal business on a day like this—the merchandise would get trashed.
Whoosh.
A poster fluttered by on the wind, catching on my foot and flapping wildly. A wedding celebration. It was just an ad for some theater festival, but to my eyes, the words looked all wrong.
Ah, this is driving me nuts.
A few days ago, Shura and Arieta had a close chat with Padilla, and the next thing I knew, they'd decided on a joint wedding ceremony between themselves.
Padilla had put on a troubled face at first, but when the two women pushed hard, she pretended to have no choice and gave her blessing.
It was all a rigged game of go-stop. Shura, who had denied her marriage to Arieta tooth and nail, suddenly accepted it without a fuss, and Padilla went ahead and set a date, even preparing invitations to send across the world.
Now I was backed into a corner with no escape. If things kept going like this, I'd be slapped with the "married man" label.
Of course, it wasn't like I hated the idea of marriage. In my previous life, I'd taken countless concubines, and my current relationships with these three women weren't much different from married life anyway.
I just didn't want that "married man" label. Single and married guys get viewed totally differently by women.
A single guy can still fuel fantasies even if he's got a girlfriend, but a married man feels like an untouchable fortress behind some invisible wall. That would throw a massive wrench into my love life.
Should I just run away?
The surefire way was to pull another vanishing act. I'd already run away from home once through hell and back, so leaving Kara wouldn't be that hard.
But the problem was, I didn't want to run away unless it was to dodge the wedding. Honestly, there was no place as comfy as Kara. The house I lived in was a palace among palaces, waited on by three beauties second to none in the world.
Plus, Kara was still prime territory for my information brokerage business, and I'd planted future-prep ventures all over the place. For my own future, I absolutely couldn't leave Kara.
"Isn't there some way to just cancel the wedding?"
There were plenty of ways.
After all, marriage was a ceremony based on mutual agreement between the parties. If one side dug in their heels, it wouldn't happen.
Sure, if Armida-noona, the sovereign of the sacred, officiated it, it'd be ironclad by public standards, but I could just threaten her properly to keep her from pulling any funny business.
The real issue was canceling it while soothing the three women's dissatisfaction to the max.
They seemed dead set on making it happen this time, sharpening their knives for it. If I flat-out refused now, their disappointment would be huge.
I knew from my past life—it'd lead straight to passive-aggressive nagging and guilt trips. What a headache.
So I needed a rock-solid excuse to refuse, something so ironclad even they couldn't help but understand.
If I can just muddle through this one, marriage talk will die down for a good while.
That's when a racket of wheels came rumbling from behind. I thought it was a carriage at first, but no—there were no hoofbeats.
I turned around.
"Huh...?"
It was a magic-powered car. The cart powered by mana that a guy named Liden had built.
And the one driving it was a hulking orc. None other than Zenbe-ajusshi.
Zenbe-ajusshi braked smoothly and pulled up beside me.
"Hey, human. Where you headed?"
"Just walking."
"Still got all the time in the world, huh."
"Time in the world? You know how busy I am? I was swinging a sword in the Arena of Bloody Battles just the other day."
"Yeah, yeah, you rescued the Great Saintess of Wind. I know. I heard."
"Good, then we're square."
I whipped my head away with a huff, and Zenbe-ajusshi said slyly,
"By the way. You're getting married, right?"
My face twisted up.
"No, I'm not!"
"Weird. Word's spreading all over Kara that you are."
"It's bullshit! How could I get married when I'm slaving away for humanity? I've pledged this body entirely to humanity's future."
Zenbe-ajusshi narrowed his eyes.
"You sure you're not just spouting hot air?"
"For real! Think of all I've done for humanity so far. People just don't appreciate it."
"Yeah?"
"Yeah. True heroes practice virtue in the shadows, unrecognized."
"Fair point, I guess."
Zenbe-ajusshi nodded along, but it didn't feel sincere at all. The world's so stingy. I'd been busting my ass for it, and no one gave a damn.
I glared at Zenbe-ajusshi.
"Anyway, what's with this magic car? It wasn't supposed to be out yet."
Zenbe-ajusshi proudly spun the wheel back and forth.
"Ah, they were making prototypes, so I asked for one for me too. Got two."
"Damn. Prototypes cost a fortune—how'd you swing that?"
"Worth every coin."
"In what way?"
Zenbe-ajusshi grinned contentedly.
"Horses start wheezing after carrying me a bit, but this thing keeps steady. And horses don't always listen, but this moves like an extension of my body."
"Huh."
"Only downside is the acceleration's slow, but they say it'll improve, so I'm cool with it."
The current magic cars were based on a mid-grade single-cylinder mana engine. According to the developer Liden, adding more essence to increase cylinders would boost output, so as tech advanced, speeds would naturally climb.
I smacked my lips and casually hopped into the passenger seat. Come to think of it, I'd never ridden in one before.
"Lemme drive it. Test drive vibes."
Zenbe-ajusshi stared at me.
"I don't let guys sit shotgun. Get off."
"Come on! After all we've been through? Admit it—this thing was bought with my money."
"Don't go spreading that around. People'll get the wrong idea."
"They won't!"
Zenbe-ajusshi smacked his lips and hit the gas right away.
Damn, it's pretty solid...
The ride was great. Bumpy as hell, but way less jarring than horseback. And the consistent speed was nice. Horses tire out and slow down eventually, but like ajusshi said, this kept steady.
The only gripe was the sandstorm blasting right in. Same as riding a horse, sure, but slapping a lid on like a fancy carriage would fix that—easy tweak.
If I play this right, it could work for combat too.
Crank up the essence for more power and speed, or sacrifice speed for armor plating. Slap on some iron plating, and it'd be unstoppable.
A magic car like that charging enemy lines? Arrows and spears bouncing off—it'd send foes into panic. Hell, most level-20-ish monsters couldn't touch it either without piercing the armor.
Worth prototyping.
"Hey, human."
Zenbe-ajusshi spoke up, so I looked over.
"Yeah?"
"Couple days ago, some Yosrahim Empire guys approached me."
"Pfft. Wanted your secret orc barbecue recipe?"
"Not a joking matter."
Zenbe-ajusshi's face was dead serious, so I dropped the banter and got real.
"What'd they say?"
"Offered funds to gather troops."
"Ah, the 'hit the Orc Plains from behind' pitch."
I clocked Yosrahim's game instantly.
Yosrahim was gearing up for war with the orcs. Cloud Grandpa vanishing had them in a bind, but with Grollmog mustering warriors, the empire couldn't sit idle.
That's where Zenbe-ajusshi came in.
If he allied with orc mercs and small tribes to strike the Orc Plains' rear, Grollmog would be stuck holding a two-front war.
"Obvious ploy. You gonna do it?"
"Nah. Turned 'em down flat."
"Why? Golden chance to head home."
Zenbe-ajusshi glared and barked,
"This is that dirty trick you suggested before!"
Oh, right. I'd floated the same idea to him once to stop Yosrahim and Grollmog's war.
I'd backed off due to circumstances, but it wasn't a shitty strategy.
"Not really dirty."
"Why not?"
"War has no 'dirty tricks.' Achieve the goal, done. Moral commanders who shun them are the real trash. Enemy lives precious, but your men's are flyspeck? Biggest officer-fuckery out there. Obvious what they're after—'moral paragon' badge by grinding loyal troops into mincemeat."
Zenbe-ajusshi hacked up a storm of coughs.
"Fair point."
"So what's your play, ajusshi?"
"Passing. Yosrahim's problem, not mine."
I nodded like it was obvious.
If Zenbe-ajusshi jumped in now, he'd be the real trash. Sure, if he wanted past glory back, fine—but otherwise, hell no.
The downside? Massive war, tons dead. But not his burden. Blame lay solely with Yosrahim and Grollmog. Why should innocent Zenbe-ajusshi eat shit for their mess? No way.
"Smart call."
Zenbe-ajusshi eyed me.
"What about you?"
I tilted my head. My situation was trickier. Born in Yosrahim, prepping for humanity's doom—if I wanted to brace for apocalypse, this war had to stop.
If Grollmog survived to the end times, humanity would be stronger, extending my lifespan too.
"Dunno. Gotta think it over."
Zenbe-ajusshi stared like I'd grown a second head.
"Why you agonizing?"
"I'm a moral paragon sacrificing for humanity's peace."
"Cut the crap. Spill. What scheme you cooking for this war?"
"Why so suspicious? I'm revered as a saintly hero, dating three Great Saintesses. Gotta live up to the hype. Ah!"
A bolt of inspiration hit, and I clapped sharply. That's it—that method.
"What the hell?"
"Ajusshi, swing this thing toward Grand Army HQ—now!"
"Why?"
"Gotta stop this war, right? Yosrahim vs. Grollmog—bodies'll pile up. We save 'em!"
"You?"
"Yup."
"Bullshit. You wouldn't. Fess up—what's the ploy?"
"So what if there is? Saving war dead ain't bad."
Zenbe-ajusshi smacked his lips.
"True, but..."
"Hurry."
"Tch. Fine."
Zenbe-ajusshi wheeled toward Grand Army HQ.
Soon we pulled up, striding in bold as brass.
I bellowed at a middle-aged clerk handling paperwork.
"Where's the Grand General?!"
Grand General was Najir, no—wait, Jalal? Wait, from context, it's the Kara general, but glossary has Najir as Kara general. Actually, text says 라잘 아무라바—probably Jalral Amuraba? Wait, glossary has Jalral as Orc warrior. Anyway, translate as Razal or whatever fits—text has 라잘, so Razal.
The middle-aged man paused his work and stood.
"Third floor office. Shall I call?"
"Nah, I'll go myself. Lead on."
"Y-yes."
We followed the clerk to the third floor. At the office door, I kicked it open.
"Razal!"
Razal, dozing at his desk, jolted up.
"Who's there?!"
I advanced with a sharp glare.
"Whoa, who is it?"
"Ah, husband?"
Razal tumbled from his chair. He'd risen from chief of staff to Grand General, but stayed pint-sized.
I dragged Zenbe-ajusshi to the sofa.
"Razal. You know what's brewing in the Orc Plains?"
Razal stood by me, nodding furiously.
"Yes. Grollmog's mustering warriors for war with Yosrahim Empire."
"How many?"
"Estimated at 300,000."
I stroked my chin.
"Our response?"
"Huh? Why us? Grollmog's targeting Yosrahim."
"What if not? If he turns that horde on Kara Kingdom?"
Razal wiped sweat with his sleeve.
"We've reinforced frontline Bardru and Bamir territories with 3,000 central troops, just in case."
I slammed the reception table.
"You're kidding! 3,000 against 300,000?!"
"More might provoke the orcs."
"Who cares! If they swing toward the Great Desert, Kara's done. Beef up the frontlines now."
"Y-yes."
I gripped Yojyo's hilt and stood.
"Full army war readiness. Summon all generals to Kara except Jores Island commanders and Admiral Kasim."
"Yes."
"War alert! Tell 'em to brace."
"Got it."
Razal bolted from the office.
Zenbe-ajusshi eyed my sly grin.
"What're you up to?"
"Kara becomes the dagger at Grollmog's back. He won't dare move."
"But if Yosrahim strikes first, orcs get sandwiched."
"Keep Yosrahim from moving."
"How?"
"If Yosrahim attacks, Kara allies with orcs for humanity's peace and hits the invaders."
Zenbe-ajusshi propped his chin.
"Balance of power, huh."
"Yup."
"Smart, but risky? Your way amps war tension in Kara. Civilians'll freak."
"Doing nothing's scarier. Orcs mustering 300k next door? Slacking off's insane."
"True enough."
I stood and gazed out the window at Kara's sprawl.
Now Kara Kingdom faced war crisis. No actual war, but civilians would fear it.
And one thing the royals couldn't do now: lavish weddings. Funds for war prep couldn't go to parties, and folks would bash a carefree palace amid crisis. My wedding? Dead in the water.
But I wasn't hyping crisis just to dodge marriage. For humanity's future, I had to stop Yosrahim vs. Grollmog.
Yeah. I was stoking this for humanity. Not some married-man phobia.
Nice, Grollmog. Nice, Yosrahim.