The Grand Duchess of the North Saw Through My Idiot Act
"No! Don't disappear!"
Adel blinked several times.
Then she smiled, very faintly.
With her face flushed red, she nodded.
"I will do my best."
Her answer was so serious that I couldn't help but laugh.
The moment I laughed, a strong wind blew.
My cloak flipped up wildly.
Suddenly the black fabric covered my face, and my vision vanished.
"Ugh!"
I flailed in panic.
"Adel! The cloak is attacking me!"
The wind seemed thrilled as it shook the cloak even harder.
I tried to grab the fabric with both hands, but whatever I caught flew off in a different direction.
I couldn't tell anymore whether I was wearing the cloak or the cloak was wearing me.
I heard Adel struggling to hold back her laughter.
"Please stay still."
"I can't! It hit me first!"
"Understood. I will subdue it."
Adel stepped closer.
Her hand caught my shoulder and slowly pulled the cloak down.
My vision returned.
Adel's face was right in front of me.
Closer than I expected.
She wore a serious expression as she smoothed out the cloak's wrinkles.
She retied the strings near the nape of my neck.
Then she straightened my disheveled collar, pulled out a scarf, and wrapped it around my throat.
"It's suffocating."
"I wrapped it loosely."
"Or is it because you're standing so close, Adel?"
Adel's hands stopped.
Our eyes met.
Only the sound of the wind remained.
A snowflake drifted between us.
I laughed in a hurry.
"Just kidding!"
"I see."
Adel slowly finished adjusting the scarf.
Her fingertips brushed just beneath my chin.
Briefly.
Really briefly.
Yet the sensation lingered in a strange way.
Adel smelled of cold snow.
Of leather gloves.
Of the herbal ointment she'd applied earlier.
And of a clean scent that was hard to describe.
Was this what winter in the North smelled like?
Cold and quiet, yet if you stayed close, just a little warm.
After fixing the scarf, Adel took one step back.
"It's fine now."
"What if the cloak attacks again?"
"I will block it."
"I'll trust you on that."
"Thank you."
She answered with perfect calm.
That was funny too, so laughter burst out of me.
It was time to leave the rest stop.
I climbed back into the carriage.
Once again, Adel took my hand to help me up.
The inside of the carriage was warmer than outside.
Adel sat beside me.
She spread a blanket over my lap and checked that the window was properly closed.
I toyed with the end of the scarf before asking.
"Adel."
"Yes."
"Are you scared of the Grand Duke of the North?"
"You mean my father?"
"Yeah."
"He is a frightening man."
The answer was so plain I grew a little tense.
"How much?"
"He speaks very little, his expression hardly changes, and his orders are short. Most soldiers freeze the first time they see him."
"Is he like you, Adel?"
Adel thought for a moment.
"Probably."
I pictured it.
The Grand Duke of the North—bigger than Adel, scarier, even quieter.
Black cloak.
Cold eyes.
Short commands.
I unconsciously shrank into myself.
"Will he scold me?"
"You, Your Highness?"
"Yeah. If I say I want to eat snow."
Adel's eyes softened, just a fraction.
"He will probably tell you not to."
"Scarily?"
"It might sound scary."
"So he is scary."
"But he is not a bad person."
I looked at Adel.
She had turned her gaze to the window.
Snow was falling, very lightly.
Not enough to pile up yet.
She spoke quietly.
"He is a strict man. And a frightening one."
"......"
"But he cherishes the North more than anyone. He is simply poor at showing it."
I took in her words.
Poor at showing it.
I could sense the affection buried beneath.
What must that feel like?
I watched the snow outside the window.
In the imperial palace there had been no such thing as affection poorly expressed.
There had been plenty of calculated clumsiness.
Plenty of kind-sounding orders.
Plenty of smiling surveillance.
But readable affection?
There had been almost none.
"Adel."
My mouth moved before I could stop it.
"Did you hate your home?"
Adel looked at me.
She stayed silent for a while, then shook her head.
"No. It wasn't like that."
"......"
"My father was strict and didn't often speak kind words. But I knew."
Adel's voice was low.
"The one who applied medicine to my hands after training was my father. The one who checked the stove in my room on blizzard nights was my father. When I fell from a horse for the first time, after scolding me he stayed beside the stable all night—my father."
She smiled, very faintly.
"Because I knew he was simply a man poor at expressing himself. I could read the affection hidden inside."
I smiled.
I wasn't sure it came out right.
"I'm jealous."
The small murmur slipped out.
Her eyes trembled quietly.
I rushed to add more.
"No, I just meant your father sounds scary but good. I was fine too. The imperial palace—"
The words stopped there.
The imperial palace.
There was nothing left to add.
I closed my mouth.
The carriage grew quiet.
Rattle.
Rattle.
Snow touched the window and melted.
Adel moved.
She slowly leaned toward me.
I lifted my head.
"Adel?"
Instead of answering, her arm wrapped around my shoulders.
Carefully.
But firmly.
Adel pulled me into her arms.
It was warm.
The faint scent of herbs, leather gloves, and the fresh smell of snow just carried in from outside mingled together.
Her hand rested gently on my back.
She didn't pat me.
She didn't pour out soothing words.
She simply held me.
As if I might break.
As if I might scatter.
Carefully.
"Your Highness."
Adel's voice came from above my head, low and quiet.
"You may be jealous."
"......"
"You may think you hated it."
"......"
"You may think it wasn't all right."
My breath caught.
Strangely.
Adel's embrace was warm, yet something inside my throat ached.
"Thinking those things does not make Your Highness weak."
I didn't know where to put my hands.
The hands floating in the air slowly lowered.
They carefully grasped the hem of Adel's clothes.
She must have noticed.
But she said nothing.
She only held me a little more tightly.
"Adel."
My voice sounded strange.
"Yeah."
This time she answered that way.
A short, informal reply.
It felt even warmer somehow.
"It's suffocating."
"I'm sorry."
Adel started to loosen her arms at once.
I gripped the hem tighter.
"Just a little."
Her movement stopped.
"Just a little longer."
Adel didn't answer.
Instead she hugged me again.
A little looser.
Loose enough that I could breathe.
But not so loose that she pulled away.
I closed my eyes.
The carriage kept heading north.
Snow fell outside the window.
Snow that melted and vanished the moment it touched a palm.
But Adel did not disappear.
Even when I reached out.
Even when I leaned on her a little.
At least right now.
She stayed right there.
The carriage journey that had lasted for days finally ended.
The view outside the window changed.
Endless coniferous forests and snow-covered roads stretched on.
The trees were black.
The snow resting on them was white.
The black-and-white landscape continued without end.
There were few colors.
Yet strangely it never grew boring.
The snow covered everything, and the wind kept tapping at the windows.
The carriage wheels made the same sound for days.
Rattle.
Rattle.
At first the motion sickness felt like it would kill me.
In the middle I grew drowsy from the medicine.
Later I grew somewhat used to it.
Still, it was never completely comfortable.
Every hard jolt still made my stomach churn, and the longer the road stretched the more my body slumped.
But one thing had changed.
I had grown used to resting my head on Adel's lap.
"I'll probably have to ride carriages often from now on."
"Why?"
"It's a secret."
I closed my eyes beneath the gentle stroke of Adel's hand on my hair.
The carriage passed through the main gate of the Grand Ducal Residence.
The gate was enormous.
The North's crest was engraved upon the black iron.
A wolf standing in a blizzard.
Long spears crossed beneath it.
When the gate opened, a low, heavy sound rang out.
Beyond it lay a wide driveway.
Knights stood in rows on both sides.
Black cloaks.
Silver armor.
Shoulders dusted with snow.
They all stood perfectly straight.
They barely moved at all.
Like frozen statues.
Are these people actually alive?
I wondered to myself.
The carriage came to a stop.
My heart began to beat a little faster.
It was a different kind of tension from when I left the imperial palace.
This was not the imperial palace.
But that didn't mean I could assume it was safe.
A new place.
New people.
New eyes watching.
I would have to act again.
The youngest imperial prince who knew nothing.
A bright, dull child who smiled easily.
That mask would be needed here too.
It would be necessary.