The Carriage Began to Move
The carriage began to move.
The wheels turned and the horses' hooves struck the polished ground.
The gates of the Imperial Palace slid slowly backward.
I pressed myself against the window and looked outside.
The white stone staircase glistened in the sunlight, the garden neatly trimmed, the doors framed by gold trim. The scene was too perfect, almost suffocating.
For over ten years I had tried to escape this prison, and now it was being pushed behind me.
I didn't feel happy about it.
I didn't know if the place I was going would become another prison.
Adeline had said she would take me first before the wedding.
She wanted to give me time to adjust to the Northern environment.
I supposed that counted as a decent deal.
How much political calculation had happened behind the scenes?
The complicated procedures still continued in the background, and time until the wedding remained.
“Whoa.”
I put my hand on the window and said,
“It’s getting smaller.”
Adeline followed the direction I was looking in.
“I see.”
she said.
“It’s getting smaller and smaller.”
I kept my eyes on the window.
The towers of the Imperial Palace grew farther away.
The farther it got, the smaller it became.
It was strange.
Had it really been that small?
Could it even become that small?
Inside it, the air was suffocating.
Even passing through one corridor, I had to be on guard.
Even alone in a room, I felt like my ears were open.
One word.
One expression.
One step.
Everything had to be careful.
I had to smile like an idiot.
Ask a stupid question.
Pretend to know nothing.
Pretend to be able to do nothing.
Pretend to remember nothing.
I had survived that way.
It had protected me.
At the same time, it had gnawed at me.
I hated the Imperial Palace.
I hated it.
I didn't want to return even if possible.
But the moment I saw it getting farther, my stomach felt weird.
I should be happy.
It should feel refreshing.
But a corner of my chest felt tight.
Even a prison you’ve been locked in all your life starts to feel familiar after too long.
Like a prisoner who can't jump out even after the door opens.
I looked out the window and smiled.
Like an innocent child who knows nothing.
“Adeline, look. It's really getting smaller.”
“Yes. I can see it.”
Even if I went to the North, it wouldn't change.
I'd still be pretending and watching my back.
“The Imperial Palace can get small too.”
“Anything that gets far away becomes small.”
“Then what about scary things?”
I said it and immediately regretted it.
Why were there so many careless mistakes lately?
Why did I only become honest in front of Adeline?
I didn't know if it was relief or carelessness.
It was carelessness.
I couldn't easily let my guard down.
That would only make the coming disappointment bigger.
I calmed my feelings.
To fall without as much pain as possible.
A moment of silence passed.
Only the sound of the carriage wheels on the ground remained.
Clunk.
Clunk.
“I hope Your Highness keeps looking at that.”
“Why?”
“Because it’ll hurt you.”
“……”
I should have laughed.
Like usual.
Like a child who knows nothing.
With a face that didn't understand what was being said.
But strangely, the laughter didn't come out right away.
It hurt.
The words were too accurate.
I hurriedly lifted the corners of my lips.
“I'm not in pain.”
“Is that so?”
Her eyes, like a winter lake, sank.
Those eyes were strangely quiet.
“Even if scary things don't get smaller,”
Adeline said.
“Your Highness doesn't have to get smaller.”
I stopped breathing.
The words entered too quietly, so I couldn't avoid them.
I didn't have to get smaller.
I had learned how to get small for a long time.
Without being seen.
Without being expected.
Without being guarded.
Like a person who is nothing.
I had to get small to survive.
But Adeline calmly denied it.
As if saying that the survival method I'd mastered over my lifetime was wrong.
“Adeline, that's a strange thing to say.”
I barely laughed.
“I was originally small.”
“No.”
Her answer was firm.
“Your Highness is only used to making yourself look small.”
“……”
“It snows a lot in the North.”
“Snow?”
“Snow covers a lot.”
Adeline's voice was low.
Cold, but strangely soft.
“Footprints, blood, old wounds... Time will cover them white.”
I looked out the window.
The capital still had no snow.
Only dry roads and trees losing their winter light.
But when I heard Adeline's words, a snowy scene flashed for a moment.
A white, quiet land.
A road no one had stepped on.
A place where sounds faded away.
“Things Your Highness wants to leave behind.”
Adeline said.
“Eventually, they'll be covered.”
I couldn't answer.
Being covered doesn't mean disappearing.
What remains under the snow stays as is.
It might be revealed again when spring comes.
But.
Even if it stays covered for a while.
Even if it's not seen for a moment.
Maybe I could breathe.
I took my eyes off the window and looked at Adeline.
“The North is that snowy?”
“Yes.”
“Snow... can I eat it?”
Adeline looked at me for a moment.
Her eyes became a little softer.
“If it's clean snow, it's possible, but I don't recommend it.”
“Why?”
“It could make your stomach hurt.”
“Then I won't eat it. I hate being in pain.”
“I hate it too.”
“Does Adeline hurt?”
“Because I'm human.”
Clunk.
The carriage shook greatly.
“Eh?”
My body was pushed to the side.
A hand in a black glove reached out naturally.
It supported my shoulder.
“Are you okay?”
Her voice was close.
I blinked.
Adeline's face was closer than usual.
My heart beat strangely.
Every time the carriage wheels clunked, my body shook and my heart shook with it.
The closer it got, the more things became clear strangely.
The sound of my pounding heart.
Whose was it?
My heart raced.
The surroundings raced.
And my stomach raced.
“Ugh.”
“Are you getting motion sickness?”
I answered dumbly.
“Motion sickness?”
“Do you feel a headache or your stomach churning?”
“I'm fine.”
“Fine.”
“No problem.”
The carriage was just shaking a little.
I was a human who had survived the Imperial Palace for over ten years.
There was no way I'd break from a mere carriage.
“Ugh.”
I covered my mouth.
No, I couldn't hold it?
Motion sickness was worse than I thought.
I should have tried riding a carriage.
Because I stayed inside the Imperial Palace, I hadn't thought it would be this bad.
“It doesn't feel fine.”
“Is that so?”
She took out medicine from her pocket.
“I should take motion sickness medicine. It's a new drug developed recently at the Magic Tower, and they say it's very effective.”
“I don't like medicine. It's too strong!”
“Just in case, I prepared pills, but can you take them? Just swallow them like candy.”
I looked at the tiny pill in her hand.
“It contains a sleeping medicine, so it says you might feel sleepy, but looking at Your Highness's condition, it seems better to sleep comfortably.”
My pupils trembled.
Can I sleep?
Nothing would happen while sleeping, right?
Even though I knew nothing bad would happen, the unease didn't easily fade.
Carelessness is death.
I didn't want to die as emptily as in the original story.
“Don't worry. I'll help you.”
Adeline's calm voice.
The unease slowly faded from her voice.
Even though she was also untrustworthy.
She was looking at me with a worrying face.
With that face, this expression was fake.
I shut my mouth and nodded.
“Then eat it.”
“Eh?”
“I'll feed you.”
“…I can eat it alone?”
Adeline's hand stopped for a moment.
She quietly looked at the pill she had brought to my lips.
Her lips pouted slightly.
In an instant, she looked downcast and looked up at me.
“Ah, do you not want me to feed you?”
Her voice sank.
A voice full of disappointment.
It felt like she had betrayed some expectation.
I instantly shut my mouth.
No, why didn't I feel guilty?
In the end I shut my lips tightly then opened them a little.
“Ah……”
Her face brightened.
A satisfied smile appeared on her lips.
“Hehe.”
The tip of her finger pushed the pill in and lightly touched my lower lip before falling away.
That sensation slowly spread inside.
I stopped breathing for a moment.
The sensation that touched my lips remained strangely long.
Like a very thin spark had landed on my lips and disappeared, it was hot.
“Here, water.”
I took the glass and slowly drank the water.
Hoping this water would wash away the sensation on my lips.
“Now, Your Highness. Chew.”
Following her words, I swallowed the pill like candy.
“Well done.”
Even after taking the medicine, why was I still getting motion sick?
Could the heart racing also be due to motion sickness?
The hand stroking my head made my heart feel at ease.
Perhaps because of the medicine's effect, my eyes started to close.
Can I sleep?
Nothing would happen.
I knew that.
But for some reason, the slight unease remaining pushed sleep away.
“It’s okay to sleep. I’ll protect you.”
Adeline's words.
Adeline was also untrustworthy, but why did I keep feeling reassured?
It seemed I had buried it deep inside without even noticing.