An Undeniable Love for the Puppy

My heart pounded for no reason at all. Whenever we had sex, the feeling that I liked Kim Taeho kept rising up in my chest. "Haah..." I buried my face in the pillow, lost in thought. I was certain. No, I'd known it for a long time now. I was in love with Kim Taeho. It was truly stupid. I had a boyfriend... yet we'd had sex, he'd carried me like a princess... even given me a piggyback ride. My heart had fallen for him completely. Heavy sighs escaped me endlessly. Whenever I saw Kim Taeho, my heart pounded as if it would ache, and when our eyes met, my face burned ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠hot. I automatically looked away. At those moments, the guilt lodged deep in my chest would pierce through the shame and soar skyward. Still, even so, I... had a boyfriend. That I liked Kim Taeho... no, that I loved him. That the sex was fine as long as we didn't get caught... I'd even said things like that.

"Huuuu..." I was going crazy. I shoved the pillow aside and pulled my phone from my pocket. There was still no news. I had to stop the order for that artifact. I'd made various attempts on my own, but... nothing that could be called real progress. After all, we were in a partnership with the Null Group, and even if I tracked it down... I wasn't sure I could block it. Click—I turned off the phone. My face reflected in the black screen, cheeks flushed red. Once again, the memories floated up in my mind. "Hwaaa..." Having moved past denial, I could no longer avoid it. It was obvious that I truly loved Kim Taeho. I could feel it. Little by little, my boyfriend was shrinking inside my heart while Kim Taeho grew larger. I couldn't stop it. Just why did I feel like I loved Kim Taeho more than my boyfriend? I hugged the pillow tight.

Was it personality? No. Both Seokhyun and Taeho were kind. Familiarity? No. Even though we'd grown a little distant recently... Seokhyun was still closer to me. Then... "Huu..." His body? A tingle ran through my lower half. Slowly, an undeniable truth drew near. I pictured Seokhyun in my head. His frail frame. His small dick. A 'weak' person I needed to protect. I had always believed that sharing love with nothing but mind was more than enough. But why now? Why was I drawn to Kim Taeho's strong, reliable body? I hugged the pillow even tighter. "Haah..." Was just heart alone not enough? Was I unable to feel satisfied with mind alone? Gradually, cracks began to form in my theory. A summer night in September. In the dead of night. With sighs that sank as if the ground itself were collapsing, my eyes slowly closed.

I felt like I was sitting on a bed of thorns. "How is it, puppy? Doesn't that look fun over there?" Inside the moving sedan, I swallowed the curse trying to leap from my throat. What the hell was this situation? My head was spinning. Han Yerin slowly pressed closer to my side. Cold sweat trickled down my temple. When I turned my head, Kim Seokhyun awkwardly avoided my eyes.

"Isn't it exciting? This is our first time playing together, isn't it?" I nodded awkwardly. No? I wasn't excited at all. I felt like I was losing my mind. This wasn't just a bed of thorns—it felt like I was kneeling on a red-hot iron plate. It was dizzying. Too sudden. "Exciting, right? I'm excited." Han Yerin looked at me and ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠smiled sweetly. I quickly forced a smile onto ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠my lips. Mind control. I was doing mind control. I am happy right now... I'm so fucking excited and happy. If she took a dislike to me, I was dead. That was my only thought. I poured everything into my performance.

"R-right? Before we play today, we're stopping there first." Han Yerin pointed out the window. Following her finger... "What the..." An enormous restaurant came into view. "It's a place I visit often. You've never been, right, puppy?" Han Yerin took my hand. Our eyes met. "Let's eat first, then play together." The sedan pulled into the parking lot. A distant, sinking feeling. Like being dragged into an abyss. After parking, we stepped out. "It's on the sixteenth floor." The elevator shot upward at high speed. But wasn't this dangerous? We'd be buried under stares. Han Yerin tapped my arm. I turned my head. "Don't worry about the people," she said, looking at me. "I rented the entire building."

...What? "Pick anything you want. Don't worry about money." I'll pay for everything. After saying that, Han Yerin awkwardly averted her gaze. She tucked her hair behind her ear and fidgeted with her fingers. "Um, well, ahem..." She paid for everything? I hadn't wanted any of this in the first place. It felt burdensome. Han Yerin slowly drew closer and took my hand. The elevator reached the top floor. The doors opened and we stepped inside. "There's no one here...?" Not even an ant. The emptiness was almost eerie. Han Yerin slowly linked her arm with mine. Cold sweat slid down my forehead. "I pulled the chefs too. It would be troublesome if someone saw us, right?" The three of us slowly sat down. "That's why I brought my boyfriend. At least if three of us are together, the media won't explode later." Han Yerin let out a short sigh. She dumped her things on the chair beside her and stood. "First... shall we eat?" Han Yerin grabbed my hand and pulled. My mind grew distant.

What does the puppy like? I had never thought about it. The puppy was simply the puppy, and I hadn't felt any particular affection. But after our bodies had truly mingled... I began to want to know him a little. More precisely... I wanted to grow closer. How could I do that? Should I give him money? I agonized over it. I didn't know. I understood myself. The puppy currently preferred distance from me. But if I really acted that way, nothing would come of it. Han Seolah. Her presence was too strong. If I stayed still, he would be taken. I couldn't endure that. I was impatient. I needed to offer the carrot quickly. But... I didn't know what the puppy liked. Not a single thing. I brought the food and sat down. When our eyes met, he awkwardly looked away. I really didn't know. I was going crazy. I had to do something he would like, but I couldn't grasp anything. So I simply brought him to the restaurant first. If he ate something delicious, surely he'd like it, right? That's why I chose this place. I deliberately cleared out every person. I didn't want to be disturbed.

I lowered my gaze to the food the puppy had taken. Meat, meat, nothing but meat. "Does the puppy... like meat?" Our eyes met. He nodded awkwardly. "I-I do, right?" The puppy picked up knife and fork, sliced the steak, and nibbled at it. It felt like my breath was caught. I needed to keep the conversation going, but my throat seemed blocked and the words wouldn't come. At least during sex I'd felt we'd grown a little closer... yet trying to talk like this made my head freeze. It was embarrassing. Like an idiot, the food wouldn't go down. I desperately searched for a topic. He likes meat... has lots of muscle... likes exercise... Exercise? "Um, puppy. Do you like exercise and things like that?" "Exercise?" The puppy's body twitched slightly. Did he hate it? Or like it? "I like it." The puppy nodded. He'd built that body, so of course he would. A faint brightness touched my face. This was the first step. What kind of exercise did he like? One memory flashed through my mind. The Seoul Public Gymnasium. There was table tennis! The table tennis that had burned across the news, articles, and internet. I'd seen the video. At that time the puppy had been genuinely enjoying it. If so. If we played together, at least. Wouldn't we grow closer? No, he would definitely hate it. But still, even a little. Couldn't we become closer? I had to surpass Han Seolah. With firm resolve, I smiled at the puppy. "Puppy. At the Seoul Public Gymnasium, um, do you want to play table tennis? Together."

The puppy flinched, body trembling. Did he like it? "Uh, um, yes?" Was he flustered? Or not? If he disliked it... I felt a little down. Our eyes met. "Ah, ah—it's so good!" The puppy nodded. R-really? My face softened. "Then let's eat quickly and head to the gymnasium." A smile bloomed on my lips.

Han Yerin's expression darkened. Fear gripped me. If I said the wrong thing, I was fucked. "Ah, ah—it's so good!" I nodded quickly. "Then let's eat quickly and head to the gymnasium." Han Yerin smiled. Cold sweat ran down my forehead. What? Table tennis? Honestly, I didn't want to touch a racket anymore. No, fuck. Lee Arin had already blackmailed me into sex, saying I'd lost face because of table tennis... There was no way I could pick one up. But Han Yerin had given me an order to play table tennis with her. Why the fuck was she doing this to me? I filled my stomach roughly ‍‍‌‌⁠​​⁠‌​​‍​​‍​‌​⁠‍‌‍⁠⁠‌⁠‌‍‌‍‌‌‌‍⁠​‌​‌​‌‍‌‌‌⁠‍​​‌‍⁠‌‌⁠⁠and we left. After that I talked with Han Yerin about many things. Most of it was what I liked, whether I needed anything—things like that. Holding back tears, I climbed into the sedan. "Um, u-uh, puppy. It's good, right? Since we're going to play table tennis!" Han Yerin awkwardly took my hand. Fuck. I performed with everything I had. I was not going to play table tennis. I was going as a 'clown' who matched Han Yerin's every whim. If I failed, Han Yerin... in her spite would kill my girlfriend. Was it good? Ah! So good! So good I felt like I'd go insane! "Of course it's so good!" Han Yerin grinned brightly. Wow, Han Yerin liked it! Since Han Yerin liked it, I was happy too. No, I had to be happy. I was so happy! Our eyes met. Han Yerin wore a brighter smile than any I'd seen before. "Pu-puppy. You really like it. Yeah, then..." Han Yerin gave a smile brighter than any smile I'd ever seen. "Let's play table tennis until night!" What. Fuck? My smile nearly collapsed. I swallowed a groan. No, fuck. That long? Wait, until what time? "Um, until what time..." "Hehe, until ten p.m.! Good, right?" Ah. Han Yerin smiled brightly. Wait. That, no. I held back the rising tears. I forced a smile onto my lips. "...It's good!" Somebody save me.

I was happy. The puppy liked it! I'd seen his expression. Grinning as he said it was good, that we should do it together. He had told me. What was this? Could we already grow this close? A smile wouldn't leave my lips. I was happy. Elation filled my chest. In the heat of the moment I'd said let's play until ten. Even I couldn't understand it. I'd only heard one sentence—that doing it together was good—yet my heart pounded and happiness wrapped around me. My face burned. When I looked beside me, the puppy was smiling. It was strange. Seeing that smile made me smile too. The puppy liked it. Since the puppy liked it... I liked it too. I took out my phone. I quickly typed and sent a message. "Puppy. Don't worry." I grinned at him. "I rented everything. The people will leave soon." I looked out the window. After driving for some time, we arrived at the parking lot. The sedan stopped. "Huu... Shall we go now?" I stepped out. Even though it should have been busy, the place was deserted. The smile never left my lips. It was only the first step, yet the thought that we'd grown a little closer made me happy. I took the puppy's hand. We walked slowly toward the table tennis court. We were nearly there. We only had to step inside— Clunk— "Huh?" "Eh?" "Hm?" An ominous sound. My steps halted. I looked down at the source. A manhole. "Did you hear some sound just now...?" I looked at the puppy. Then. "Fuck...!" He wrapped his right hand in a magic formula and forged an iron spear. Eh? What? What was going on? I was confused. My head couldn't keep up. Just why was he— Kwa-kang— Clang—! "Keeek, kkeuh haak, keung, galg sseup, kek." A monster burst through the manhole with a skin-crawling sound. "Uh, what? Huh?" I was flustered. It was still broad daylight? At the same time, from the base of my spine, fear began to surge. It was a low-risk monster. No, wait... I looked at the monster's back. Arms sprouting from it. And. Click— clack— ching— Sharp, threatening blades rising. A body that creaked slightly. A machine. That was at least between low-risk and medium-risk. My head went pure white. I couldn't stay still. I racked my brain desperately. I looked around. The remaining people were panicking and calling on their phones. Screams rang out everywhere. No. If I stayed still, no. I was the top student. I raised my stiffened hand and formed a magic formula. Fierce wind gathered around me. With condensed air I created a single blade. Cold sweat trickled down my forehead. Still, I was an Academy student. A person who would become a knight. In truth, this was my first real combat. I could easily win against something like this. My legs shook violently. I really felt like I would lose my mind. Even so, my feet wouldn't move— "Stay still." The puppy looked at me with tense eyes. "I'll handle it." The puppy gently pushed me aside. Pu-puppy?

"Kek, geeeek, keung, keungkeung, kkeureuk, kkuk—" Kwa-gak, kang—! The monster hurled its disgusting body at the puppy. I raised my head to look at the spear. At its tip, dozens of red magic circles spun irregularly. Kaga-gak— The monster scraped the ground as it thrust its blades at the puppy. At the same time the puppy charged forward, created a shield in his left hand, and blocked the dozens of blades. The puppy was pushed back slightly. The monster thrashed madly, trying to devour him. Making horrible sounds like kerek kkeng, it shoved the puppy away. No. I couldn't stay still. Striking my trembling legs, I forced myself to move. The puppy enlarged his shield. The dozens of blades screeched—kiik— in a skin-crawling way as they tried to slice him. The puppy took slight wounds. I dispelled the blade. I created magic circles in both hands and gathered the surrounding air. Above my head, several transparent spears formed. Spears made of fiercely spinning wind. "Huu... Fuck...!" The puppy raised his shield high and struck, lifting the blades upward. The monster's center of gravity collapsed for an instant. I quickly steadied myself and aimed the spears at the monster. A moment later. Thud—! With the sound of air being sliced, the spear pierced the monster's body. "Keeek!? Kkeuh, kkeuak, kek, kek— gyaak, ak!" At the same time. Kwa-kwa-gang—!! The puppy didn't miss the chance and slammed dozens of explosion spells into the monster. The impact slightly cratered the ground. With overwhelming force, he completely shattered the single monster. "Huu... Haah..." The puppy wiped sweat from his forehead as if exhausted. Then he turned to look at me. "...!" It was strange. My heart pounded like crazy. I quickly looked away. I hid my reddened face. The puppy slowly approached me. "Are you okay? No, are you alright?" The puppy looked at me with slight worry. No, it was strange... There was no way the puppy would worry about me. I gave a short nod. My head couldn't keep up with the situation. Only my heart pounded madly. To the point it hurt. Wait, what about my boyfriend? I turned my head. "Haah... Haah... Haah...!" He lay collapsed on the ground. Just... doing nothing. Staring blankly like an idiot. "Are you okay?" The puppy slowly approached my boyfriend. He helped him up, even brushed off his backside. My boyfriend nodded in thanks to the puppy. "..." What was this feeling? Slightly. Seeing that sight cooled my heart. The wildly beating heart sank rapidly. A short sigh escaped me. "Haah..." Just why. Had he done nothing... and simply stayed still? No... I simply let the thought go. "Seokhyun... Are you tired?" I slowly approached my boyfriend. It was a slight disappointment. The puppy had fought so hard, yet you just... did nothing. "Uh, yeah? I'm fine!" My boyfriend smiled awkwardly. Yeah, you're fine. I slowly turned my head toward the puppy. "Are your injuries alright?" I slowly approached the puppy. Looking closely, he had many small wounds. On the other hand—my boyfriend. Without a single wound. Clean. ...Haah. "I'm fine." The puppy smiled awkwardly and waved his hands. Fine? "Haah..." That was a relief. The slight tension in my heart quickly melted away. For now, I needed to collect myself. "Let's return to the car for a moment." I slowly took the puppy's hand. As we walked toward the sedan, a small question crossed my mind. The puppy had smiled more than usual today, but why—when he clearly disliked me—had he approached first asking if I was okay and even worried about me? Again, memories rose and my cheeks burned. No. I erased the question from my head. Since good things... were good.

There had been no choice. If I hadn't saved her and ran, everything else aside, there was exactly one thing: I wouldn't be able to enter the Special Force. Because the leader of the Special Force—Han Yerin's older sister, Han Sojung—was an insane siscon. "Haah..." There was already precedent. One third-year senior who tried to join the Special Force got on Han Yerin's bad side just once. When it reached her sister's ears, he wasn't given even a chance, let alone entry into the Special Force... I'd heard. I mustn't forget. The Special Force revolved entirely around the leader. If you got on the leader's bad side, you could do nothing. But fuck, Han Yerin suddenly fell into danger and I did nothing? I would never reach my goal in this lifetime. Because that bitch would tell her sister. Fucking bitch. That was the one thing that could never happen, even if I died. The reason I deliberately approached her acting worried... was because of this. To seize even the smallest possibility, so that later if Han Yerin put in a 'good word' with Han Sojung, after graduating as top student I would gain the qualification to enter the Special Force and receive bonus points on the exam more easily. "Huu..." I don't worry about the likes of you. You fucking bitch.