The Dragon's Ridiculous Hobby
But no matter how much I looked around, neither Rai nor the owner of that voice was anywhere to be seen.
It was far too dark here, and I was sitting all alone on a cold stone floor.
“Over here. Right here!”
“Huh?”
[It's me. Master!]
Since the owner of the voice remained invisible and only the sound kept echoing, a sharp wave of anxiety washed over me.
Was I inside a dragon’s stomach?
The odds seemed terrifyingly plausible!
As the memories of what happened right before I lost consciousness flooded back, cold sweat began pouring out of me.
“Idiot! Down here!”
Down?
“……”
[Save me! Master!]
I felt like I was the one who needed saving.
Judging by the situation, the short, stocky creature violently clutching Rai was almost certainly a polymorphed dragon.
I stared silently at the golden-haired dwarf standing far below in my field of vision. He looked barely over one meter tall.
I blinked hard.
Short and stout build typical of dwarves, messy beard and hair, dark skin.
A dwarf whose entire appearance reminded me of a plain old rock stood there holding Rai with an angry expression.
My suspicions were correct, but…
“Um… Dragon… sir?”
“That’s right! It’s me!”
I’d hoped it wasn’t true, but it really was.
Why on earth would a creature born as a dragon choose to take the form of a short-statured race that had zero dignity?
What exactly was a dragon?
They were the strongest beings on the planet, creatures that could wield magic as naturally as fish swam or humans breathed, from the moment they were born.
Overwhelming martial might paired with near-eternal life—the very incarnation of power.
The ancestor of all magic, the master of magic, the origin, the beginning, the source that every living being bowed their heads to in reverence.
And yet…
“A dwarf?”
Where the hell did it toss all that dignity?
And why a dwarf of all things?
It was genuinely incomprehensible.
I found myself practically glaring at the dwarf—no, the dragon—in utter disbelief.
When it had been a dragon, it was so terrifying. But now that it looked like a tiny grandfather fairy, flailing its short limbs around, it was impossible not to find it ridiculous.
On top of that, even its speech pattern had changed to sound like a child’s. It was completely laughable.
“What?! Never seen a dwarf before?!”
“No… I’ve seen them at the forge, but… why would a dragon take the form of a dwarf?”
“It’s my preference!”
“Ah…”
“Respect my tastes!”
Polymorph was a spell that let the caster transform into any shape they desired.
And in myths and legends, dragons often polymorphed into humans or elves to hide their identities, going on adventures with human heroes and saving the world.
But I had never once heard of a dragon turning into a dwarf.
No matter how I thought about it, the combination simply didn’t fit.
Because dwarves were a race that could not use magic innately.
They were still the best on the continent, of course.
The greatest carpenters, blacksmiths, and sculptors.
In short, a race whose entire identity revolved around exceptional craftsmanship.
They did have strong constitutions that resisted disease, overwhelming magic resistance, and ogre-level physical strength as bonuses, but…
Still, comparing them to dragons was like comparing a tiger to a frog.
“More importantly, what the hell is this?!”
Dwarves were born with wrinkled faces like old men and stayed that way their entire lives. That was why it was hard to guess their age.
Elves, on the other hand, looked young forever.
It was only natural to prefer the eternally youthful elf appearance. Seriously, what bizarre taste this dragon had…
“Ugh.”
I’d been trying to understand the dragon’s preferences when something hard suddenly slammed into my face.
It was the metal spirit, Rai.
[Master!]
Indescribable pain followed.
Just how hard was this little bastard that it could be thrown at someone’s face like that?!
And what hurt even more was that Rai, after smashing into my face, immediately wrapped itself around my head like it had been waiting for the chance and started bawling its eyes out.
I was losing my mind. For real.
[Huuuuhng! That crazy dragon ripped off all my scales! What a heartless bastard! Well, it’s a dragon so of course it has no heart. Ugh, ptooie.]
“W-wait— I can’t breathe…!”
Rai clung to me tightly, whining even though it couldn’t actually cry, and I was starting to feel a very real threat to my life.
So this was what it felt like to be strangled by Rai. I really didn’t want to know.
“Hey, get off…”
“Hey! Did you hear me? What the hell is this?! I thought it was some amazing metal that blocked my breath, but it’s just diamond! You think I brought you here because I wanted this junk?!”
My head was already ringing from Rai, and now the dragon was dumping incomprehensible complaints on me too.
I still couldn’t think straight.
My face hurt. My head hurt. There wasn’t a single part of me that felt fine.
“Just— just a second. Rai! Get off me.”
[Sniff, sniff! Master, I hate the water-drop pattern!]
“I told you to remake that hard metal!”
[No!]
“If you don’t want to die, hand it over right now!”
These two were really too much. Couldn’t they at least give me time to figure out what was going on?!
This was some new form of torture!
“Both of you, shut up!”
The moment I shouted with all my strength, the sound echoed back as a loud reverberation.
Just how huge was this cave?
“You—! How dare a mere human yell at me?!”
“Excuse me! Dragon sir!”
“…Hic!”
“My head hurts so much I can’t even think! Let me think!”
The dragon stared at me with a face full of shock and fear, trembling all over, but I wasn’t scared anymore.
After all, I’d already been dragged into a dragon’s lair. The chances of making it out alive seemed incredibly slim.
“Stop whining and just be quiet for a second!”
“S-such insolence! A mere human—!”
I just picked at my ear.
Whether it was a dragon or a spirit, none of them ever left people alone, so I couldn’t bring myself to treat them nicely.
Besides, the two of them somehow seemed to be on the same level, and that definitely wasn’t my fault.
The once-terrifying dragon was acting like a completely spoiled brat, and Rai was…
[Just not the water-drop pattern!]
I’d told it that if its white snake skin got ruined, we could switch to a water-drop patterned snake, but apparently it hated that idea so much it was throwing a whole fit.
What was so bad about water-drop patterns anyway?! It was cute. Water-drop patterned snakes were adorable.
“Human! I’ll kill you!”
“Yep, my neck’s right here. If you’re going to do it, please make it clean.”
The dragon was raging furiously, but in that stubby dwarf form, none of it was scary at all.
I was the type to quickly assess situations, and right now my assessment was that I was already as good as dead.
Once you’d been captured by a dragon, what hope could you possibly have?
I was basically already inside its stomach.
Yeah, just kill me. This filthy world! Ptooie.
“…No!”
“Hm?”
“If I kill you, the spirit will disappear too! Then I won’t be able to get that metal!”
It was right then that the dragon—the very same one that had attacked the imperial palace—flopped onto the floor and started rolling around.
Exactly like a child throwing a tantrum at the supermarket because it didn’t get the toy it wanted.
“Give me the metal! Metal! Give it to me!”
Now that I thought about it, it had acted the same way at the imperial palace.
The way it had thrown a fit, saying it would destroy everything if they didn’t hand over the jewels—it was exactly the same. So this really was the same dragon.
It hadn’t rolled around on the floor back at the palace, though…
[I think it’s gone crazy, Master.]
[Seems like it.]
[Doesn’t it seem a little… slow?]
Even though we were talking mentally, Rai was whispering as if trying to keep its voice down. I completely agreed.
“Gimmeeeeeee!”
“Why do you even need it?”
“You don’t even know that?”
“How would I know if you don’t tell me?”
The golden-haired dwarf jumped to his feet and shouted as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.
“I’m going to make a sword!”
“A sword?”
“That’s right!”
“You? A dragon?”
“My dream is to create the greatest sword on the continent! A sword is all about the materials, you idiot!”
To think I’d live long enough to hear something this absurd.
A dragon wanting to make a sword—it was completely incomprehensible.
It was the most pointless thing in the entire world.
Looking at this spoiled, tantrum-throwing dragon, I wasn’t entirely sure, but dragons were supposed to be the most carefully crafted creations of the gods.
They could wield magic of the highest realm as easily as breathing—magic that humans could never reach no matter how many lifetimes they trained—and their bodies were so powerful that no one could even hope to match them!
As I kept emphasizing, they were the strongest creatures on the continent.
They could breathe underwater, treat lava like a hot spring, and their incredibly hard scales couldn’t even be pierced by mithril swords!
The undisputed apex predator of the continent!
The top of the food chain!
So why the hell would it make a sword?!
It was like hearing a tiger say it wanted to make arrows!
You don’t need a sword! You can just smash things with your body! Who are you calling an idiot?!
The retort rose all the way to my throat, but I barely managed to swallow it.
Because doing so would only confirm my suspicion that ‘this dragon is actually kind of dumb.’ A faint sliver of hope that I might actually survive made me force a smile.
“The greatest idiot on the continent… I mean, the greatest sword, right.”
“Did you just call me an idiot?”
“And for that, you need Rai’s special metal. I believe I understood correctly?”
It wasn’t the most trustworthy proverb, but there was a saying that even if you were offered as a sacrifice in a dragon’s lair, you could survive if you kept your wits about you.
“Yes! That’s it! Can you make it?”
Looking at it now, there seemed to be a reason it had chosen a dwarf form.
As it approached with sparkling eyes, I noticed it had a hammer and several other forging tools hanging from its belt.
Considering how it had demanded mithril from the emperor, it seemed this dragon really did have the peculiar hobby of ‘sword-making.’
I still couldn’t understand what a dragon would even use a sword for, though.
After all, the greatest sword was supposed to be one that could slay a dragon.
Anyway. If I just play along, I might be able to live.
I put on my best business smile.