A Deluge of Proposals
“Yes, everyone who saw her said she was a genius. When we received the official letter from the Royal Academy recommending her enrollment… we felt proud, but also worried. We thought she didn’t like people, so we lost sleep wondering if she’d struggle to adapt.”
“Yet every teacher in charge wrote the same thing in their letters—that Jeanie was an unprecedented troublemaker. She never caused any trouble at home, so you can imagine how shocked we were. We thought they must be talking about someone else’s child.”
The two of them chatted excitedly about me. Ash listened with genuine interest, which only made me feel a little embarrassed—which seemed to please them even more.
Discussing someone right in front of them like this… If they weren’t my parents, I would’ve flipped the table or changed the subject long ago.
“It felt like she couldn’t grow attached to us. Still, she got along quite well with her brothers.”
“I remember the day you were born. It’s something I’ll never forget. It was raining heavily that day… and you cried louder than the rain. I’ve never heard a baby wail so sorrowfully.”
“No matter how much we tried to soothe you, you wouldn’t stop. We wondered if we’d done something wrong or if you were in pain. We were quite depressed for a while. It wasn’t even our first time raising a newborn, yet all we did was make you cry. We even cried with you out of guilt.”
“We’d waited so long for a daughter, but she never smiled at us.”
“She’d startle every time we tried to hold her.”
Yes, I am that very sinner. But I don’t remember any of it!
“But whenever her brothers held her, she became so well-behaved. They all fell in love with you.”
“Especially your eldest brother—he adored you so much he’d stay up all night watching over you. They were all so captivated, spending entire days just waiting for you to smile. It was such a lovely sight.”
“Those were good times. Now that they’ve all grown up, I miss those days.”
The look in the eyes of parents facing a child who had died and come back to life was something no other gaze in the world could match in tenderness. It wouldn’t have been strange if either of them started crying right then.
“……Have my brothers come back? What do those idiots think they’re doing, running off like that?”
“Your eldest brother is decent with a sword, at least. And the younger one’s quite capable too.”
“The youngest takes after me—he’s good at fixing things. Lately he’s been making weapons! He’s even studying metalworking, saying he wants to make something for you someday.”
“So in conclusion, they still haven’t come home?”
Sorry to rain on their nostalgic parade, but I had to ask. They didn’t seem worried about their sons at all—maybe I was mistaken.
“We got a letter from them a month ago. They said they were heading to some snowy mountain where a dragon supposedly lives.”
“A snowy mountain…… That’s northern Akirael! That’s on the complete opposite side of the continent! Aren’t you worried?”
“They’re boys.”
“We know a dragon wouldn’t be discovered by the likes of them so easily. We wanted them to become independent anyway, so this works out nicely.”
“Exactly. When they said they wanted to see the world on their own, we told them to go ahead. Of course, they were so worried about you that we weren’t even on their minds.”
Usually when parental love leans too far in one direction, the other children get jealous—but these brothers were all equally smitten, which made it even more hopeless.
I was used to having followers entirely because of those idiots.
“There were other things to worry about too. You might not know this, but a great many people came to the territory to mourn you. For a while, you couldn’t even walk through the village without bumping into someone.”
“After receiving the count’s title, we were also granted surrounding lands…… We let them stay there for the time being. In return, they said they’d build a memorial hall for you. We gave permission, and before long people started praying there. It turned into something like a temple dedicated to you. We don’t know what to do about it……”
“Let’s just destroy it.”
“……Are you serious?”
“Yes. I’m alive, after all. Why would I need a memorial hall? If we can’t tear it down, we should at least change its purpose. It’s unpleasant.”
“I thought you’d say that……”
Judging by their troubled expressions, destroying it didn’t seem like an easy option. I’d have to get Rai to do it secretly later.
“There’s something else we’d like to discuss with you.”
“What is it?”
“Ever since it became known that you’re alive, suitors have been lining up.”
“Gasp……”
I thought I heard Ash make a strange noise behind me.
“Look, these are all the proposals that have come for you. Every day, the Crowell estate receives party invitations and letters requesting visits. Most of the people who come in person want to propose to you.”
I’d expected there to be some business, but this was far beyond what I’d imagined.
What did they even know about me to propose marriage?
I recoiled at the stack of papers Father placed on the table and didn’t even touch them.
“We thought we should ask for your opinion…… It’s an important matter, after all. We couldn’t decide on our own.”
“At least we filtered it down to about a third—excluding anyone more than ten years older than you or those suggesting you become a second wife.”
“Can you believe there was even a three-year-old among the suitors? Since we didn’t respond, they keep sending more. It’s quite troublesome. Ah, Jeanie! Do you know Lasshamu Pedri?”
How could I ever erase the name Pedri from my mind?
I knew the family because of Robenin, but I also knew Lasshamu—the unfortunate second son of that house.
“I do. Why?”
“He’s the most enthusiastic suitor.”
“Well, well.”
“He came all the way to the Crowell territory to propose to you and ask for our blessing. Four people from his family have already visited. He’s the most proactive among all the suitors.”
“He’s also from the best family. If you’re willing, I would approve……”
“Dear? We should ask Jeanie first. Jeanie? We told him not to come since you were away…… We wondered if you two already had some connection. We wanted to ask you, but we couldn’t reach you. What would you like us to do?”
Lasshamu was certainly an excellent match. It would be impossible to find parents with a daughter who wouldn’t covet him. The second son of the renowned Pedri ducal house, exceptionally capable, with a bright future ahead.
Moreover, with the eldest son’s reputation as an irredeemable battle maniac spreading, he was suddenly being eyed as the ducal heir. There was nothing to criticize. He would be more than worthy for any family.
Though with me, our only interaction had been him being trapped by Undine at a party—we’d never even danced. There was also that time ten years ago when we fought and I won.
He was handsome too…… but Ash was more handsome.
If choosing by family, Ash was better. If by attendant ability, Bright was better.
Why bother with Lasshamu? Besides, he was the brother of my natural enemy, Robenin.
Rejected. Still, he should be moved to tears knowing I considered him seriously for two whole seconds.
“Please formally reject him. Lasshamu and all the others.”
“All of them?”
“Jeanie, you haven’t even looked at the list of suitors.”
“I died and came back to life—why would I want to get married? I still want to enjoy my life. There are still so many things I haven’t done, and more things I want to do keep coming up. Marriage…… I don’t know. I’m not interested right now. Please reject them all.”
“……Very well.”
“Understood……”
I’d expected some resistance, but they accepted far more easily than I thought and began clearing away the proposals with sullen expressions.
At nineteen, I was well past the typical marriageable age for nobles. It was too late to pressure me.
“Did you want me to get married?”
“No…… We just…… wanted to see you fall in love with someone……”
“We only ever wished for your happiness. If you don’t want to marry, that’s your happiness too.”
“That’s right.”
It was quite unexpected. The one speaking calmly and looking at me with steady eyes wasn’t Mother—it was Father.
I’d been certain they would want me to marry.
“Ever since the moment you were born, it’s always been that way. We wanted it even more desperately because we didn’t know what you wanted.”
Father had pale green eyes, different from mine. My eldest brother had inherited them, and he resembled Father so much in both appearance and personality that whenever he looked at me, his eyes would fill with helpless affection and tenderness.
“You never asked us for even the smallest thing. So we wanted to be helpful. Even when you preferred studying at the Academy over coming home…… if that’s what you wanted…… we thought it was right to wait.”
“When that incident happened…… we regretted it.”
“We should have forced you to come home…… We should have told you there was no need to study so hard. We regretted it.”
“That incident” probably referred to my kidnapping. It would hurt them to know I’d avoided home not because I loved studying, but because I felt awkward, so I decided not to say anything.
They had this image of me as some kind of model student.
Because I practically lived at the Academy, and the headmaster kept singing my praises whenever he had the chance. He’d say I would become Drike Academy’s pride. And now, looking back, it had come true.
“Jeanie? This is our small wish. Won’t you come home sometimes?”
“It’s not a demand. The only things we can do for you are wait…… and believe in you, and watch over you.”
“Look at you, all grown up without us……”
If I wanted to know what the person in front of me was thinking while their eyes grew moist, all I had to do was reach out.
I had the ring, and holding a parent’s hand wasn’t difficult for a child.
-Maybe she’s such a clever child that she doesn’t need parents.
-There’s so much I want to say, but if I talk too much, she’ll find out I never learned properly. I don’t want her to know her father can barely read. She’s such a well-educated child.
-I know the truth. This child will never return to our embrace.
Just because I could read someone’s mind didn’t mean I got all the answers.
I didn’t know what to say. When parents were one-sidedly in love with me…… their genuine feelings, which I’d taken for granted and found bothersome, now felt heavy.
When the ring told me their feelings expected no repayment, I knew I had to say something.
After my lips twitched several times, my throat so dry it hurt, I finally managed to speak.
“Father, Mother.”
“……Jeanie.”
“I’m sorry for making you worry.”
It had been hard to say, and the words that came out were ultimately nothing special. They were the best I could do, and that was all. And yet, as if I’d made a promise, both of them began to cry.
Ah, it’s hug time again.
***
That day was the day I was supposed to have lunch with my parents.
I’d bathed and purified myself since morning. I put on the cleanest clothes I could find, properly combed my hair for once, and even polished my shoes before putting them on. The leather boots, caked with dried mud, turned out to be dark gray, not brown.
Wearing the ring and bracelet I’d taken off for the bath, I left my room. Walking lightly down the hallway to the men’s room, I found no one there, so I headed straight to the first-floor dining hall. As expected, they were gathered there.
Enk and Gail were nowhere to be seen, but Ash and Chad were present. Chad was having a late breakfast, while Ash was enjoying some rare leisure time reading a book. Sensing my presence, he looked up at me.
“Jeanie.”
“Hey, where are you going?”
Chad asked while picking up some bread, his voice casual beside Ash who had called my name softly. I naturally snatched the bread from his hand and ate it.
The basket was full of bread, but somehow bread from someone else’s hand always looked tastier. Honestly, stealing it made it taste better.
“I’m meeting my parents.”
“Ah, I heard from Ash yesterday. You meet a lot of people you know here? I guess it’s true that all the continent’s people have gathered in Helicke right now.”
“We’re having lunch together, but I overslept.”
For that reason, I snatched another piece of bread. Chad, who’d had two pieces of bread stolen in a row, looked completely unfazed—it was a familiar occurrence.
Chad’s simplicity shone in moments like this. The fact that I was the rumored Saint and that the count and countess were here was treated as someone else’s business.
Once he learned my identity, his shock lasted only a few minutes before he returned to normal.
His recovery was so fast it made me wonder if his memory was goldfish-level.
“Don’t be nervous and have a good time. I’m sure it’ll be a wonderful occasion.”
“Ash.”
“It’s been a while since we’ve had such nice weather.”
“You’re coming too.”
“……I don’t know when that was decided, but alright……”
The way he closed his book and set it down made it seem like he’d quickly accepted his fate.
“Just the three of us—my parents and me. Will there be flies swarming or not?”
“There will be plenty.”
A noble wandering around without guards outside their own territory was suicide. If Lox knew I was treating Ash like a bodyguard, he’d foam at the mouth, but since he wasn’t here, I didn’t have to witness that pathetic sight.
“I can’t exactly kill people in front of my parents, can I? You’ll have to come with me.”