The Horseshoe of Retribution
Lox had returned at some point and was glaring at us like he wanted to kill us.
Oh dear. How scary.
“You’re back?”
There was no way he would let a scene like this slide. Even my friendly greeting failed to calm him. He flung the borrowed horse aside like trash and charged at me like a deranged bull, seizing my collar and yanking me up.
The nerve of this guy!
“Hey now. That’s no way to treat a lady!”
“You’ve lost your mind!”
“Ah, why are you like this? What did I even do?”
“Who the hell are you to treat the prin— to treat Ash like a damn doormat!”
“Me? A rare and beautiful Spirit Master, perhaps.”
I dug at my ear and blew on my finger as I spoke.
“Of course, it’s the Spirit Master part that’s rare. I never said I was a rare beauty. You know the second part was just modesty, right? The conclusion is that I’m simply superior.”
“…This is exactly why I hate you!”
“So what? Let go already!”
Whether you hate me or not has nothing to do with me!
“Stop ordering Ash around!”
“It’s my heart’s choice!”
“Lox!”
The moment sparks flew and it looked like Lox and I were about to go at it again, Ash pulled him away in advance. He had grown so used to our fights that he no longer even looked surprised.
I gave a big mocking laugh at Lox, who was dangling and flailing in Ash’s grip.
“What am I supposed to do when he likes doing it? Did I force him somehow?”
“You just subtly admitted to ordering him around!”
“Oops. My mistake.”
“I knew it! You’ve got some kind of leverage on him! It has to be that!”
He’s quick on the uptake. I really should have killed him before he grew on me.
“Ash! What happened? What did that woman do to you!”
He grabs my collar just fine but can’t even touch the hem of Ash’s. What a hypocritical status discriminator.
I couldn’t stop my face from twisting in distaste.
“Lox, what you’re doing isn’t right.”
“What are you talking about! I’m your—”
“Enough. I’ll handle it myself.”
“…Fine, whatever! But you do have something on him, right? Right? What is it!”
“I can’t tell you.”
“Ash!”
“It’s not what you’re worried about. It’s purely personal… that kind of thing…”
Ash trailed off mid-sentence as his ‘face explosion’ condition relapsed, dealing a massive shock to Lox.
His face is way too red, isn’t it? That’s not some incurable disease, is it?
“Ash! How can you do this to me! How can you keep secrets between us!”
“Sorry, Lox.”
“What exactly did you do with that woman!”
“What are you even imagining? I keep telling you it’s not like that!”
“If it’s not this and not that, then what is it!”
Looking at them now, it really did seem like a love triangle.
Hehehe. Since it was fun, I decided to pour oil on the fire.
I stood up, brushed the dirt off my backside, and gestured with leisurely grace.
“Ash, help me mount the horse.”
Ash came over immediately at my call and assisted me in the perfectly gentlemanly way I had expected. He offered his knee so I could step on it, then I used his shoulder for balance before comfortably placing my foot in the stirrup and swinging up.
Servants sometimes prostrated themselves under the horse to act as living footstools. Among nobles, offering a knee and shoulder was standard, while lovers might lift each other by the waist.
In any case, I had just stepped on the prince’s knee to mount. Hohoho!
“Th-that! That damned woman!”
“What are you going to do about it? Far from being damned, I’m going to eat well and live well.”
Laughter bubbled out of me uncontrollably.
If Lox died from high blood pressure, it would probably be my fault. I supposed I should attend his funeral.
“What the hell is all this commotion?”
“What happened this time? Whose horse is that? Lox’s?”
Just as I was feeling fantastic and Lox was clutching the back of his neck, the rest of the party began returning. I spotted Gail approaching from afar behind Chad and Enk, who had gone to borrow the horses.
Lox was jumping around in fury. At this rate he might start rolling on the ground soon.
“That woman is treating Ash like some kind of slave!”
“Hmm?”
“She made him help her mount the horse! She made him brush her hair! I saw everything!”
“What?!”
Enk looked startled and quickly approached me.
What? Are you going to grab my collar too?
“Please make me do it as well!”
“Huh?”
“You’ve gone mad, Enk!”
At this point I might need to make a rotation schedule. Still, I had no desire to let Enk brush my hair. Ash was different. Only Ash felt… acceptable? Hmm? Why was that?
“Hey! Stop playing around and let’s get moving. The sun’s going to be overhead at this rate.”
When Gail finally reached the meeting spot, Chad raised his voice and shouted.
I was already comfortably seated on the horse with all our luggage perfectly secured, so I acted as leisurely as possible. It was Ash who had done the work, but the preparations were indeed complete.
“I can leave anytime. The next city is Pamington, the one with the port, right?”
“Yes. If we hurry, we should arrive in three days.”
“What’s good to eat there?”
“Their seafood is famous.”
My relationship with Chad was far from friendly, but we could at least agree on food. I licked my lips and urged us to depart.
“Everyone hurry up! I love shrimp! Let’s go!”
“We’re not going there to eat shrimp.”
“I know. We’re taking a boat from there to Heidricke, right?”
“By the way, where did your mutt go?”
“Huh?”
“You two are always together, but I don’t see him now. His name was… Rai, right?”
Perhaps because Rai had nearly killed him before, Chad was the first to notice his absence. The guy actually had some loyalty. He could have forgotten that despicable creature, yet here he was remembering the name.
[Master……]
[Is there a ghost around? I keep hearing nonsense.]
[Can’t you forgive me too? I’ll brush your hair for you……]
[I can’t hear anything! Shut up! Pretending to be pitiful won’t work!]
I can’t hear the sound of a mere horseshoe!
I urged the horse into a faster walk. With every step came the clop, clop of hooves mixed with Rai’s voice.
[Aaaah! Master! I really, really hate this! I’d rather be a candlestick!]
[This is punishment. Of course it’s not fun!]
[Ack! This guy stepped on poop!]
[You touched your master’s dignity, Rai.]
For the crime of disturbing your master’s peace, you are sentenced to horseshoe duty!
Stay as a horseshoe until we reach Pamington! How does it feel to be the iron nailed to a horse’s hoof, you bastard!
[Kyaaaak!]
There were almost no ways to inflict pain on Rai. Mental torment was the only option, and for once I had exercised my genius brain.
While Ash went to buy breakfast, I had swapped the borrowed horse’s horseshoe with Rai. It had been surprisingly easy. I didn’t know exactly what he had done wrong, but it had taken a while to crumple up the Rai who clung to my pants leg begging for one last chance and stuff him under the hoof.
[Aaaack! Sob sob, you’re so cruel, Master!]
How does it taste, you bastard?
I deliberately steered the horse through the filthiest patches of ground I could find.
[Master is a heartless thug! A psychopath!]
“Ha, that feels refreshing. Since he’s somewhere around, don’t worry about it and let’s get moving.”
“What? There’s no way. We have to bring him too. You didn’t abandon him somewhere, did you? People who do that get divine punishment.”
“I guarantee that the moment we arrive in Pamington, he’ll pop out with a ‘ta-da.’”
Everyone looked skeptical, but they could believe it or not. I didn’t care.
“What kind of magic is that?”
“Are you saying that to make us believe you? Killing people is one thing, but abandoning a dog is just…”
“Let’s make a bet. If he doesn’t appear, I’ll leave this party.”
Clop, clop. As I guided the horse toward a puddle that looked like a sewer, I saw Lox clasp his hands together and pray with desperate fervor. Since I wasn’t a real Saint, I couldn’t hear the exact words, but the content was obvious.
He was definitely praying that Rai wouldn’t show up.
[Kyak!]
Splash.
In my second life, I suppose I should admit it. I seemed to possess just the tiniest, slightest hint of sadistic tendencies.
We were heading for Pamington, the port city closest to Daniz. From there we would board a ship and cross over to the island nation of Heidricke.
That was where the final destination, Hirilyke, was located—the small village believed to be hiding the Cup of the Golden Star.
Hirilyke was so insignificant it was sometimes omitted from maps entirely. Fortunately, it lay not too far from the dock. If we didn’t get lost, we could reach it on the very day we disembarked.
If things went well, we might obtain the Cup of the Golden Star within the week.
We would need the blessing of divine luck, of course. This might be the perfect opportunity to find out what the gods thought of me.
“The problem is that ancient maps have large margins of error. That’s why we need to compare them with recently published maps and conduct a detailed analysis to determine the precise location.”
“Yaaaawn.”
“Who else in our party possesses the specialized knowledge to do this? It has to be me. Even if it looks simple, this is by no means an easy task. The method is as follows…”
Lox tormented me by chattering nonstop, like some exam prep lecture playing on loop. He pretended it was instruction, but the endless tirade clearly revealed how much he disliked me.
I wasn’t listening, yet my ears still itched.
When I sped the horse up because I didn’t want to hear any more, he simply moved to my side again and launched into an explanation of the various traps commonly found in ancient dungeons and their disassembly methods.
‘Someone save me……’
I looked at the other party members with pleading eyes, but none of them rescued me. They simply offered gestures of condolence, as if they had already suffered the same fate.
Before long night had fallen. Just as I was seriously considering knocking Lox unconscious, we arrived at a suitable resting spot. It was a relief for both him and me.
The men quickly set about their tasks. Gail and Enk headed into the forest to find food, while Chad began preparing to cook as usual.
Since I had no desire to listen to any more of Lox’s ancient history lecture, I followed Ash to gather firewood.
The forest grew dark quickly, making it hard to see the ground. Ash, however, moved through the shadowy underbrush without any trouble, steadily collecting thin branches.
His eyesight really was on the level of a wild animal.
I groped around with my foot and picked up a few pieces before eventually summoning Adore.
[Master! Are you using me as a torch substitute again!]
[That’s right!]
[I hate this! I want to do something magnificent! When is something amazing going to happen? I’m made for epic battles!]
[Shut up. I like my life being a calm, peaceful stream!]
I hated grimdark stories! I hated hardship stories too!
While I explained to the whining Adore how desirable this peaceful existence was, Ash approached with a troubled expression.
“Jeanie, wet branches like that aren’t suitable for starting a fire. Please gather branches that are this dry.”
“I know dry branches are better. I’ve lived in the forest before, you know. In the middle of a complete jungle, even.”
I proudly boasted about my two-month survival experience in the wilderness after being kidnapped by a dragon. I possessed considerable knowledge regarding the fundamentals of camping.
When I spoke as if showing off something strange, Ash tilted his head with pure, bird-like innocence.