The Ero-Ero White-Haired Jiangshi Adorned with Talismans
"What in the world is that tower?! We sent soldiers, and they fell one after another. We had to call in every mage we could find just to capture the thieves, and now there's a plague spreading! Sunho's faction is running rampant! None of this was part of our plan~!!"
"This sensation… it's an intense curse! That tower, the plague—everything is part of the curse! We've summoned priests from Britannia to perform purifications, but the infection is spreading too fast to contain!!!"
"But is there anyone else in this country besides us who knows how to handle curses?! What if Manjok has invaded…"
"—We've heard no such reports!"
"Then how else do you explain that massive tower appearing out of nowhere~!!"
"Could a mere human even wield a curse that enormous~!!"
"What in the world is going on~?! You didn't do anything strange, did you?!"
The palace was in chaos, especially the flustered eunuchs, but Sunryong gave no reply. Though seated on his throne, he looked utterly drained. Having witnessed the consequences of his own actions…
'I want to die, but I lack even the courage for that.'
With his head bowed low, he stared at his fingernails torn out during torture, trembling. Even he found himself utterly pathetic. He wanted to die. So, as a final act of resistance, he simply sat motionless, prompting the eunuchs to sigh.
"This one is already useless… Asking him anything was foolish~"
"If we calm down and think, wasn't all of this Sunho's doing…?"
"That's right~ With the Endless Hell breached and Sunho escaped, perhaps that wench is responsible…?"
They gnashed their teeth, muttering, "That treacherous wench killed her comrade," yet Sunryong still showed no reaction. Even as they openly discussed how to kill his daughter right in front of him, his heart held only relief that Sunho was alive. He even wished she would flee and never return to this country, but that was nothing more than a dream.
"—Urgent report! Urgent report! Lord Sahwan! It's an emergency!"
They had believed the disturbance would soon be suppressed, but another major incident struck their heads like a hammer.
KUWOONG!
Just as a soldier rushed in, a deafening crash echoed from the corner, as if the palace itself were collapsing.
"What is this racket?!"
Screams erupted without end, as though the entire nation were shaking. Women, men, soldiers, animals—everyone inside the palace raised an uproar.
"C-could it be Sunho's faction has reached here—!!"
"No, it's Princess Sunho herself! She suddenly appeared from the rear palace, and the tower outside is—!! Uwaaagagagagagagagagagag?! Aaaaaaaaah!!!"
"Hiiiiik~?!"
Before the soldier could finish, he clutched his groin and collapsed. The tower of kidney stones piercing through the rear palace had reached the audience chamber with its shockwave. Though the others could not see it, the eunuchs clearly perceived the ominous wave and hurriedly backed away. Sunryong, despite being struck by it, suffered no harm.
"What is this sinister aura?! Hweeeh, enemies~!!"
"Traitors in the rear palace~!!"
"Go capture them at once~!!!!"
They screamed without any plan. Though capable of using curses themselves, they could not respond. The priests summoned from Britannia had been sent to deal with the outer tower, leaving only a handful here. They ordered every available soldier and priest to destroy the tower, then fled deeper into the palace.
"Hik, hi, hiii~! How did things come to this?!"
"W-we, no, we~! We were supposed to have succeeded, so why is this happening~!!!"
"Who could have done such a thing~!!!!"
The answer came when they entered the barrier set up in the deepest part of the palace.
—TUKUUUUNG!!
"Huiiiik!?!!"
"Where now?!"
"Nyo hot~! The ceiling!!"
The moment they pointed upward, the roof shattered, and the culprits appeared atop a writhing kraken tentacle.
"Th-that man… Cornelius!!"
Roman descended first through the broken roof, followed swiftly by Sunho, Saki, the Xiao-Mao sisters, and Sunho's faction infiltrating the palace.
"And Princess Sunho too! S-so that's it~! Cornelius knows how to wield curses! This chaos—it's all his doing~!!"
"You bastard!! You think you'll get away with causing all this~!!"
Roman landed, casually purifying the scattered dust with water from his rakutanis pouch, then pouted in disappointment.
"Same old lines… Whether they're dead or alive, they all say the exact same thing. Did they secretly write a script without me?"
"Wh-wh-wh-wha, what?! Dead? Don't tell me you killed Sunho instead of—!!"
"I have no intention of repeating myself. Today, there are others here who must receive your apologies."
Roman stepped back, and Sunho moved forward. Dressed neatly in her usual qipao with a new monocle, appearing without a single wound, she left everyone stunned.
"H-how is Princess Sunho unharmed?!"
"What about the torture marks?!"
"Was she a body double?!"
Even a moment's thought would reveal they had used their own crops to heal her, yet panic clouded their minds. Sunho relaxed and spoke with her usual dignified tone.
"I have no obligation to answer that. I came here today to judge you all and set this nation right. My father has turned a blind eye to your actions until now, but that ends today. From this moment, you shall receive punishment befitting your evil deeds and vanish like dew on the execution ground."
As she extended her hand, the soldiers who had infiltrated with her raised their spears and surrounded the eunuchs. Roman had intended to watch quietly if the eunuchs made no move, but his premonition from yesterday proved correct—they wore terrified expressions yet forced awkward smiles.
"Nyo, nyo ho ho… Princess Sunho, you still love to bluff~!"
"You've always been like this! Acting as if you know everything about the world, only to earn your father's hatred! Even after falling into the abyss, you still believe everything will go your way. How pitiful~!"
"We are the Sahwan—true rulers who shake this nation, unlike that flashy wench! Our heads are held high! Bow down and step aside!!"
Hwoi hwoi~! Hwoi hwoi~!
Watching them threaten so boldly, Roman muttered without thinking.
"…Aren't you the Samhwan now? One of you already went to heaven this time."
"Shut up! Roman Cornelius~! If you'd stayed quiet, we would've thrown you some scraps, but you must've been bewitched by that pathetic wench's body!"
"We'd heard rumors you were fond of women, but to stick your head into someone else's grand scheme so recklessly—don't you think you're going too far even for you~?!"
"You lot are the ones breaking character. If you're going to show off liking women like me, then do it. If you're going to go 'nyo ho ho,' then stick to it. Fix your speech patterns, idiots."
"—I said shut up! Don't think we came here unprepared!!"
"So you'll abandon 'nyo ho ho' but can't let go of calling yourselves 'this lord' to the end, huh."
Despite Roman's jab, the eunuchs threw talismans from within their protective barrier.
"Uwooo~! Come forth!"
"Protect this lord!"
"—Behold, Princess Sunho! This proves your incompetence!!"
The three bright yellow talismans each summoned something upon hitting the floor. Sunho's face turned pale at the sight.
What appeared was a beautiful white-haired woman with a pale blue complexion. Yet because both Sunho and Roman knew her well, they struggled to react.
"Uwa, what a hobby."
"Indeed."
As if responding to Roman and Saki, she lifted her head.
"Bee… beee…?"
Her sleek all-back hair now fell to cover one ruined eye. The remaining eye was red, remembering her living appearance, but unfocused. Wearing a crown, with talismans stuck on her nipples and crotch, she was an ero jiangshi.
"Her appearance has changed, but… that's Riu, isn't it?"
"Seems so. Straight out of some ○shib ero doujin."
"○shib?"
"Never mind, it's a story from this side."
True to her jiangshi nature, both arms stretched forward. With only her vital areas covered by talismans on an otherwise naked body, she looked unnecessarily lewd. The only clothing was long sleeves hiding her from shoulders to wrists, white stockings, and high-heeled shoes. It was clearly an ero outfit meant to humiliate Riu.
'The eunuchs' tastes? And white hair, huh…'
"Riu…"
While Roman's lower half itched with excitement, Sunho wore a tearful expression. To think that Riu, even in death, was being mocked like this—her heart, already loosened by torture, wavered.
"Bee… bee…"
"Communication seems… impossible."
"Well, she is a jiangshi."
"…Why are you so calm?"
"Unlike you, I wasn't close to her. More than that, I'm curious how those talismans are stuck so perfectly. Did they apply glue to her nipples or clit?"
"…………"
She had been about to get angry, but the same question occurred to her. …Her tension drained away.
"Your idiotic remarks are making even me calm down."
Thanks to that, she regained her composure and ordered the soldiers to surround Riu, but the eunuchs laughed again.
"Even in death, she was a general guarding the palace! You know her skills better than anyone!"
"Go, Riu! Slaughter those foolish ones threatening this lord!"
Flash!
"—Bweeeeeeeeet!!!!!"
"Wh-what is this?!"
Swish!
"Uwoooouk!?"
"Ngh, graaaah!!"
The moment life returned to Riu's red eyes, blades hidden in her long sleeves slashed through the soldiers. Despite her strange forward-stretched posture, her speed was incredible. Having broken through the encirclement in a single charge, she now stood facing Saki with blades drawn.
"U-ugh… uuu…! Milord~! This woman… she's strong! She's a total martial artist, just like she looks… her strength is insane~!! Uooook~?!"
"Well, she is a jiangshi. Maybe her brain's limiter came off?"
"Does it work like that?!"
"Why do you know so much?"
"It's a common trope."
"Neee~! I don't understand, but~?!"
Grind! Grind! Grind!
Several crude blades protruded from within the long sleeves, their durability far exceeding Saki's slender sword. Designed not to stab or slash but to gouge, they bent like sickles with each wrist twist, chipping away at Saki's blade.
"Uwooo~?! My sword's breaking! My precious sword forged back home~! It's breaking~!!"
"Bweeeee~!!!"
Creak, creak, creeeak……!
Ting!
"Uuuugh?!"
Overpowered, Saki's sword flew upward. With both hands raised, Riu's empty abdomen was exposed. Despite being unable to communicate, her killing instinct was masterful—she drew another blade from her opposite wrist, aiming to impale Saki's exposed stomach.
"Ah, she's not alone here, you know."
"Behe?!"
At that moment, a tentacle from the side struck Riu's flank, sending her flying like a skipping stone.
Thud! Thud! Thud!
She rolled across the floor three times. The impact was so strong a cracking sound came from her waist, yet…
"Be… eee… bee?"
She stood up immediately as if nothing had happened and charged again in her jiangshi pose.
"…Milord. That woman's unharmed."
"Well, she is a jiangshi."
"You can't just say 'because she's a jiangshi' for everything!"
Instead of her lost sword, Saki drew a short blade from somewhere (her anus) and met the charging Riu.
GRRRRRK!!!
"Bweeeee~!!"
"Ugh! Th-this one's sturdy! It won't break like before……… Uok, as expected, impossible! Impossible impossible impossible!!! What is this~!!"
Still in her guarding stance with the short blade, Saki was being lifted into the air. Flailing her legs while suspended, Saki cried out as Sunho, half-doubting the situation, gave orders to her soldiers.
"What are you doing?! Support her!"
"But getting close means instant death…!?"
"Are your bows just decoration?! Support from afar!"
"Y-yes!!"
"Take this, monster!"
Ping! Ping!
—Thwick!
"……Bee?"
The arrows struck Riu's back but, being a jiangshi, she paid them no mind. Instead, she repeated her previous action. Grind grind, grind grind, she kept lifting Saki until reaching a certain point, then used the momentum to throw her upward.
'Uwah! You're kidding~?! While our blades are locked, she's throwing me up!! I-if I fall like this, I'll be skewered~?!'
She reached for the hidden weapon in her buttocks, but nothing came out. She was so tense her anus wouldn't open.
'Aaaah, I was so nervous the gel I applied all hardened~?!'
"Beheeeeee!!!!"
Riu had prepared to tear apart the falling Saki. A tentacle flew in from the side to stop it, but this time Riu endured and thrust precisely into Saki's abdomen with the intent to finish her.
'Ugh, to end like this, what a stupid mistake—?!'
—Thud!!
Her body stiffened to endure the pain, eyes squeezed shut. A chill ran through her entire body at the sensation of being pierced.
'Kuuu… Is this instant death…! I came all this way to avenge my family, only to… what an idiot…!'
Tremble tremble!
Tremble…
……Twitch?
'Huh~? Something feels off? It doesn't hurt like being stabbed, and I'm too alive for it to be instant death. What happened…?'
Fearing she might see her own death, she hesitated to open her eyes, but eventually did. She had indeed been pierced. Riu's hand was raised high, the blade impaling Saki's abdomen, leaving her dangling like a fish on a harpoon.
'It doesn't hurt… or maybe it hurts so much my senses are blocked…?'
She couldn't speak. Instead, she turned her head toward the eunuchs and saw something had changed there as well.
"—Puhuh! O, e-eek, gegehek!! Wh-why, this lord's stomach!!!"
"Y-you! You're bleeding from your stomach!"
"Bweeeeeeek!!!!!"
"Hiaaaah!!! Suddenly my organs!!"
One of the three remaining eunuchs vomited his intestines and died. Blood gushed from his entire body as if his abdomen had been pierced, and his dying screams continued like a pig's.
'The spot I was pierced…'
This time she looked at her own stomach. Though pierced through, no blood came out. Instead, straw fell out with a rustle.
'I don't remember putting this in my stomach, but one thing's certain…'
Finally looking behind her, she saw Roman, Saki's master, also acting relaxed. A vulgar grin on his face. Sunho was also stunned by this turn of events, yet felt relieved.
'Milord did something…'
"Behe?"
Thud!
"Ugh~!!"
Realizing something was wrong, Riu slammed Saki onto the floor. The blade that had pierced her abdomen came out completely, but again no blood—only a straw doll fell to the ground.
"Huu… As expected, still alive…!"
Touching her stomach, no hole remained. Instead, the straw doll that had fallen from her abdomen burned away and vanished.
"Sometimes the classics are fun too. Right, Saki?"
"Hii, hiiik~! Milooord~!"
"Hahahaha!!!"
Using the tearful Saki as a shield, Roman looked down at the screaming eunuchs as if they were toys.