The Kind Evil God Who Grants Every Wish
Being criticized by someone is never a pleasant feeling. Especially when you boldly declared you could handle it, only for the plan you pushed to end in spectacular failure. I never wanted to taste that "project failed" feeling twice.
『If this was the plan you pushed forward, I'm disappointed.』
『Even if you said you'd take responsibility for failure, this is excessive. How exactly did things end up like this?』
『If it comes to this, we're in trouble too. Not just trouble, but…』
『At this point, we have every right to hold you accountable!』
Bla bla bla bla. Bla bla bla bla. Cecil Chapel and Sabrina Chapel's long-distance flame messages rained down with criticism. I understood their anger. In fact, it was justified.
『It's not bad, but…… No, forget it. The Xiao-Mao sisters aren't like bombs. The eunuch did come looking, but with Tania and the twins here, there's no way we'd side with the eunuch. Besides, we've already taken measures regarding the Chang Kingdom, so you don't need to worry.』
『Really now.』
『I know you're a skilled spirit mage, but I can't imagine you pulling off anything against the Chang Kingdom.』
『Whether my words are true or false, time will tell.』
──And this was the result of speaking so confidently. I'd even said that if civil war broke out, I'd just take everything on myself, but when it actually happened like this…
"…What will you do about Chapel?"
『As usual, if Princess Sunho and Sahwan clashed, we planned to intervene on Princess Sunho's side. So even if things failed and civil war erupted, I thought it would be fine, but who would've guessed Sunho would get captured.』
『It's the worst of the worst outcome. If we move carelessly, Princess Sunho's life could be lost.』
『At this rate, all we can do is issue a statement.』
"I think the same."
『Don't just say that so calmly—give us a solution!』
『This is all your fault!!』
"That's……"
I wanted to pin all the blame on Sadat, who started this, but that would have been too cowardly. I'd already heard the circumstances. El Sadat had known that Sunlong would move in response to her own outburst, but apparently she never expected him to act so foolishly.
'It must have been unexpected for Princess Sunho too. That's why she ended up captured.'
The same went for me. There was no more room for excuses.
『Lord Cornelius?』
"…………"
──Click. I unilaterally cut the long-distance flame, fully expecting the criticism. The moment it disconnected, I raised a barrier around the mansion so no more flames could reach me.
"…Are you alright?"
"Whether I say anything or not, it's still an excuse. The failure is fact."
"Your face looks extremely pale, though?"
Maybe so. In the mirror beyond the bathroom, my face was deathly pale.
"Well, this is the first time since coming to this world that I've failed so badly I got criticized for it…… Feels like I might get PTSD."
Company pressure, scolding from superiors, a blocked future……
………………
……It put me in a bad mood. There was no need to dwell on depressing thoughts even after coming to this world. Even while living surrounded by women in pleasure, the fundamental part of me hadn't changed.
"If you ask this body, I can overturn it all right away."
Perpena, in easy-mode cheat-key form, washed my body while offering that tempting suggestion. It was an intense temptation that made me want to rely on her without thinking. If I asked, she would surely treat it as a trivial matter and clean everything up.
"Those fools, if you just ask, they'll be brought before you in no time. Princess Sunho and all the others who offended you will bow their heads. Or shall I make those foolish girls who just scolded you bow their heads together with them?"
If I agreed or asked as she said, what would happen? Cecil, Sabrina—they might be princesses, but before an Evil God they were nothing but humans. Perpena cherished me dearly, so they would surely be punished for criticizing me. I would watch and clap, laughing like a third-rate villain.
──That wouldn't do.
"In the past, when something like this happened, I couldn't recover…… So to protect my self-esteem, I plan to take revenge myself……"
"Is that so. That determination is admirable in its own way. But it is not the answer this body desired, is it?"
I knew. So I turned around with the foam still on my body and clung to Perpena's waist from behind.
"Please tell me where Princess Sunho is. And the internal situation of the Chang Kingdom…… and how to resolve this matter. Tell me everything."
"Compared to what this body can do, that is an extremely trivial request."
Perpena grabbed my face, pulled it to her chest, and held me while whispering. It felt like she was saying physical cheats were off-limits but information cheats were fine, so I listened carefully. As expected, she spoke softly.
"The inside of the Chang Kingdom is not yet stable. After all, those eunuchs cannot possibly have the citizens' support. While they're busy suppressing rebellions that have broken out everywhere, the palace has become lax, yet even in such times, the place that remains heavily guarded is called the Endless Hell."
"The name is quite grand. Is it a prison?"
"It's a political prison camp. Princess Sunho's faction was outside on expedition, so they didn't know the domestic situation well. One by one they were summoned and locked in the camp. By the time they realized what was happening, most of the faction had been captured and effectively dismantled, and the remaining army is on the verge of being absorbed by the eunuchs."
"What should I do?"
"Destroy the Endless Hell and rescue them. Princess Sunho is there, along with the soldiers who remained loyal to the end. If you join forces with the citizens to bring down the eunuchs, that will be the end. The eunuchs have avoided touching Princess Sunho until now for fear of backlash if their true intentions were revealed, but if things reach this point, it will be irreversible."
Then, while pressing her cheek against my face held in her arms, she continued.
"Since the country is in chaos right now, infiltration will be easy, and the other four great nations will hesitate to move. This solo operation could bring you great fame. And Princess Sunho too—she's in a very desperate situation. If you save her, she will inevitably fall in love with you beyond mere gratitude."
"Desperate? Isn't she just imprisoned?"
"Of course not. From the eunuchs' perspective, she's a woman who remains a threat even while alive, so they would at least torture her, wouldn't they?"
"Torture……"
It wasn't because I was a good person that I felt angry. It was simply because the prey I had been aiming for had been touched again. Especially Princess Sunho, with her intellectual vibe that perfectly matched my tastes—I had been secretly eyeing her……!!
"If you're going to do it, it's better to act quickly. There's no guarantee that fool Servilia won't move."
"Even so, alone there would be limits."
"Her sister disappeared and right after that her friend was captured—do you think that single-celled organism won't move?"
Ah…… That made sense……
"Sadat might also cause trouble out of guilt for failing your orders. You even cut off Chapel's long-distance flame on your own. They might not stop at just issuing a statement and could move directly. Even if they say otherwise, the collapse of the Chang Kingdom would be a massive disaster."
"Still, the one who rescues her first gets the prize, right?"
"That's right~♪"
Rub rub rub. "The protagonist will be our benefactor. This body will support you, so rest assured~♪"
With those words, she blew a breath, and dark red smoke gradually rose from the corner of her mouth. It looked dangerous to anyone who saw it—a curse. Carried by the wind, it flew out of the bathroom and completely disappeared. It was also a type of curse I was seeing for the first time.
"What curse did you use this time?"
"A disease. The Endless Hell boasts ironclad security, so this will loosen their vigilance."
She had prepared it in case a large-scale battle became impossible. Once again, I owed her from start to finish.
"How will you form the team?"
"Sigrid would do, wouldn't she?"
"That one is no good. If you think Sigrid can handle stealth, you're overestimating her."
"Really?"
"Of course. She's a knight. The type who unconsciously shouts and rampages when her blood boils, so she's not suited for this mission."
Then who should I take? From our household, the ones I could evaluate as combat power were me, Lady Perpena, Sigrid, Kabala……
"……And Saki?"
"With that girl, you'll be much safer than with mediocre knights. It will be her first deployment and she'll be full of motivation, so take her."
She was certainly the type who carried smoke bombs and knives on her hips like a ninja……
"She has a somewhat airheaded side. Is it really okay?"
"Of course. This body's personnel selection is perfect. Trust me."
Since it was Perpena, I figured she had her reasons and agreed. Then Perpena, with a satisfied expression, pressed her chest against my back while placing both hands above her head.
"Then I'll inject the necessary information…… Now, stay still……"
"Uwooooooo……?!"
Strange information poured in. Geographical information about the Chang Kingdom I'd never visited, the fastest routes, where rebellions were currently occurring, which routes were safe, even the secret passages and internal information of the Endless Hell were engraved into my brain. I even remembered the possible location where Princess Sunho was being held.
This was something that would normally require planting spies in another country and all that hassle, but with just Perpena, everything was solved. It really was a cheat.
"Thank you. With this, I don't think I'll fail."
Rather, if I could fail even with this information, that would be a problem in itself. It would reveal just how incompetent I was. Perpena seemed to read my thoughts and pulled my head into her embrace again, whispering in a motherly tone.
"Huhu…… This body knows. Our benefactor has infinite potential. This time you stumbled a little, but when you think about it, the one who made the mistake wasn't you—it was Sadat. There's still a chance to recover, and this incident can even be used as an opportunity, so enjoy it as usual without worry."
"That's right…… I can recover…… As long as I don't make another mistake."
"It's fine even if you make mistakes. What human goes through life without erring? Even if you make a mistake so great that you turn the entire world into your enemy, this body alone will remain on your side…… You know that well, don't you?"
"It's like a parent soothing a child."
"But is there another woman who would say such things to you? Even adults need comfort, yet no one does that for you. Even blood-related parents stop soothing their child once they grow up. Who would do it? ─But this body is different."
Lick…… Lick…… She continued whispering while licking my ear.
"This body alone will always be on Benefactor's side. If you need comfort, I will always soothe you with pleasant words. That this is not mere empty comfort, you yourself know better than anyone."
Even if I clung to Perpena like a brat who got beaten and ran to his parents demanding they punish the other kid, it would be fine. It might be an ugly act at my age, but Perpena would surely accept it with a smile. Thanks to her, my stress subsided and relief returned.
"Benefactor. You'll be able to enjoy this time too, right?"
"Yes. Thanks to you."
"Whether you crush insects with force or execute an infiltration operation like a game, you can do anything…… It seems you've memorized a new curse, so go wild to your heart's content with it."
After one last kiss and receiving the new curse, I quietly burned with motivation.
'Come to think of it, those Chapel guys still haven't paid for insulting Lady Perpena……'
This incident had also splattered mud on my face. Those guys had been having it good until now, so it was time for them to return to their original positions.
"What should I say to Chapel?"
"I'll contact them directly after I return."
"After finishing everything?"
"Yes. I talked big and caused this mess, so I have to clean it up myself and come back. If I contact them together with Princess Sunho, they'll shut their mouths right away."
With those words, I stood up. My larger-than-usual member swayed heavily, and Perpena pressed her cheek against it and rubbed.
"Go well, my lovely Benefactor~♡"
Smack~♡ Smack~♡ After two kisses, I stepped out of the bathroom. I loudly called Saki's name and immediately began the infiltration mission.