Framing the Brown-Busted Stepmother
Once the meal ended, Perpena and I remained in the same study. We didn't have sex. Though Perpena was always willing to offer herself, she had decided that Nigilia should be the one to claim my "first sexual conquest."
"Is that sufficient?"
"Mmm, perfect, my benefactor. I never expected that simply sharing a bit of context would make the conversation flow so smoothly. Even I was surprised."
"Tax deductions and such are basic knowledge for any working adult. Whether you know them or not changes how much coin ends up in your pocket."
"What a tedious life. So, how does it feel to escape those shackles and become a true noble?"
"Real-life SimCity. The best."
"…That's all?"
"It still doesn't feel real yet."
I flipped through the documents, absorbing information about the territory and common knowledge. I paid particular attention to the local currency—the ducat—geography, harvested crops, stored reserves, and wages paid to the servants.
Once that was done, I skimmed the letters from the other lords that Nigilia, my future mother and cock-rest, had answered.
"It's so natural I almost forgot—can I actually read and write now?"
"I implanted my knowledge into you while you were bedridden these past five years. The language you're using now is the five-nation common tongue, 'Oeon.' Don't forget it."
The meaning was simple. The name was simple. It didn't seem like something I'd forget.
"How do you think Nigilia will act?"
"Ah, so that's what you wanted to discuss. You liked her that much?"
"Yesterday was already dangerous enough, but today I saw that perverted body of hers in broad daylight. Thanks to that, I had to work incredibly hard to keep a straight face. I lost count of how many times I nearly got hard."
"Oh? And~?"
"Watching her waddle around on her own is more unpleasant than I expected. Pants make running easier, but they're too tight and uncomfortable. Just like you said, Perpena, I desperately need a woman at home to handle my sexual needs and support me. In that sense, no one is more suited than Nigilia."
"Huhu, huhuhuhu, is that so~? Is that so, is that so~! You're speaking your desires so freely now! What a delightful change~!"
That was the correct way to handle Perpena. It was better not to hide my desires, and in truth, she seemed pleased, so I spoke openly.
"Her loyalty to the family is on an entirely different level from the servants we saw earlier. She's a truly sincere woman from the roots. If she had believed you were an impostor, she would have tried to eliminate you for the sake of the family her late husband left behind."
"So that's why you showed her my cock."
"Exactly! It was brimming with yin energy, so she must have felt something was off. With that hint, she moved immediately."
"Heh, so when will that be?"
"Didn't I just say she moved right away?"
"…What?"
It happened immediately after. The moment Perpena crossed her legs while seated at the desk, the study door burst open.
"Uwah?!"
『—How dare you impersonate my child! Seize that impostor!』
Oh. As expected of the goddess. …Isn't this event progressing a little too fast?
Everything unfolded in an instant. Nigilia stormed in with her all-female knight order, denounced me as a fake, subdued me without bloodshed, and dragged me down to the basement to lock me up.
'What the hell is going on.'
Instead of confusion, a strange calm settled over me as the events played out like a scripted scene. My arms and legs were bound in an X shape, my crotch covered only by a cloth, leaving me practically naked—yet it didn't feel as unfair as when I had actually died.
'This is all part of Perpena's plan too.'
With that thought, my anxiety vanished. I decided to treat this as an event prepared by the goddess and quietly listened.
Perpena had been locked in the adjacent cell. Unlike me, her limbs were free, and Nigilia was currently trying to persuade her.
『So~! How many times do I have to say it?! You've been brainwashed! Snap out of it! You weren't like this before!』
『Even so, that person is Lord Roman. How many years do you think I've been watching him? I even followed him to the academy. There's no way I would mistake Lord Roman.』
『That grotesque thing he has! You think that's normal?! Anyone can see he's possessed by an evil god!』
『Ha, are you talking about those rumors? Rumors are just rumors. Do you really think I can't distinguish between an evil god worshipper and the young master?』
『You claimed he became like that after being attacked by Lady Servilia?! But I asked around through the salt merchants today, and no such incident ever happened!』
『They're hiding it, obviously. In an event like that, most would side with Princess Servilia. There must be an information imbalance.』
『Perpena!』
After Nigilia's shout, a brief silence fell. The female knights guarding Roman's cell swallowed nervously.
"It's the first time I've seen Lady Perpena get angry."
"Is this really the right thing to do? Even though he's lost weight, he looks exactly like the real thing to us too."
"Should we side with Lady Nigilia… or Lady Perpena…"
"Normally we'd have to side with Lady Nigilia, but… you know?"
"Yeah, that thing."
They seemed conflicted. They hadn't shown me any respect, yet they were clearly torn between Nigilia and Perpena.
'Nigilia being a former prostitute and dancer is causing unease even within the knight order. On the other hand, Perpena has been the head maid for five years and has won over the people here. She earned the cooks' trust this morning too, and she knows how to manipulate people…'
Under normal circumstances, there wouldn't even be a conflict. Still, this was a quarrel between the lady of the house and the head maid, so choosing the former was obviously the correct move a hundred times over.
'What is she planning? The fact that she's letting herself be captured suggests she has no intention of using that magic she showed earlier.'
Wondering if it was even possible to resolve this situation without magic, I met the eyes of the female knights who were looking at me with rotten gazes. Treating this as just another event made me feel lighter, so I acted relaxed—which, as expected, only irritated them further.
"…Tch."
"He really does look exactly like Roman."
"Huh? No way. He's nothing like that fat pig."
"You must have joined recently. He only got that fat after Lord Marcus passed away. That's why everyone accepted him without suspicion."
"He used to look like this? You're lying~?!"
"He wasn't this thin, but he was still handsome. It's a shame his personality was so rotten."
"If it weren't for Lady Perpena, who knows what would have happened to us."
"Thinking about it, he really is our benefactor…"
"Yeah. I just hope the two of them don't fight…"
It wasn't the kind of conversation one should have in front of someone who might actually be the real deal. Apparently, the original Roman had been hated that much. It was also strange that the knight order consisted entirely of women… Had the real Roman done something?
But there was no way to know right now. Since this was an event anyway, I decided to enjoy it and rattled my chains.
"Knights over there. Can you hear me?"
"…Eek?!"
"W-What…"
Why were they so surprised? Did they think I wouldn't be heard just because I hadn't spoken loudly?
"Good, you can hear me. Then stop dawdling and let me out. I don't know what kind of stupid game this is, but if you do it now, I'll let it end with a laugh."
"We can't do that."
"That's right. Even if she's only acting as proxy, it's the head of the household's order. A knight can't disobey."
"We don't even have proof you're the real one…"
Their tone remained the same. I'd expected something like "We can't possibly do that~" but this was unexpected. Still, that attitude would probably lead to more interesting developments later, so I focused on my role.
"I understand your suspicion, but I am the real one. You must have heard the story from the head maid?"
"…We did."
"Then this conversation will be quick. My stepmother is making a grave mistake. We need to stop her before things get worse. If you don't help me, I won't be able to protect her either. Are you fine with that?"
"We don't understand what you're saying. We're simply following Lady Nigilia's orders."
"Don't be ridiculous. I'm the head of this household. I finally regained my senses and was trying to get the territory's management back on track, and now this nonsense? Even while you're keeping me locked up like this, work is piling up. There are already years' worth of backlog—do you plan to take responsibility for that?"
"The way you say that… Are you really Lord Roman?"
"Even the memory loss is suspicious. Aren't you a fake too?"
"That's right. The real Roman would never say something like that. That spoiled brat never cared about the family at all."
"If he were real, he would've been screaming and throwing a fit the whole way here…"
Their suspicion only grew. Their reaction was so amusing that I chuckled inwardly. After all, I really wasn't Roman, and everything they said was correct.
Since Perpena wasn't responding, I decided to push forward like this.
"So you're doubting the head maid's words. I've never been apart from her for even a moment, and she claimed the same. Yet you still doubt her?"
"That's… even so…"
"…I heard you two got along well. Was that a lie?"
"A~! So you were eavesdropping on us?!"
"So what? The fact remains that you're doubting the head maid's words. That's quite the treatment for someone you called your benefactor."
"It's not exactly doubt… We just thought maybe the head maid made a mistake in the moment."
"That's right. No matter how I look at you, you don't seem like Roman."
"Even if you were real, it's hard to believe…"
"Yeah…"
The knights' minds were still focused on the words and actions of Perpena and Nigilia. Their attitude was essentially: "One of those two. If there's something in their argument that makes sense, I'll follow that side."
Thanks to that, it didn't seem like they'd be convinced by my words, so I waited for their approach. As expected, a loud shout echoed through the basement.
『Ha, so that's it~! That's what this was about!』
『Huh? W-What do you mean?』
『You're still playing dumb at this point. You planned to get rid of Lord Roman and take the head of household position for yourself, didn't you?! As expected, I thought it was strange how nothing made sense. To bare your fangs at a time like this—how fitting for a lowly woman! I trusted you, I served you with all my heart, and I never dreamed you'd turn out like this!!』
『—W-W-W-W-What?! What are you saying?! Me, take over the family?! That's ridiculous!』
Right after that torrent of harsh words, a suspicious atmosphere flowed among the knights. "Could it be," "Lady Nigilia?" "But she really is a lowly woman…"—their tones were filled with suspicion.
…And then came the finishing blow.
『But the circumstances are exactly that, aren't they? It's been about two years since the head of household passed! During that time, Lord Roman couldn't suppress his own temperament and became a fool! You left him alone without a care until then, but the moment he got engaged to Princess Servilia and then had it broken off, you decided he was useless, didn't you?!』
『Don't talk nonsense! There's no evidence for that!』
『There is evidence! It was me who took care of Lord Roman all this time, me who sent messages to the lords and calmed them down, me who managed the servants' conflicts and anxieties, and me who taught Lord Roman how to act like a proper person! And now you're treating someone who's finally become human after a year like this?! On the very day he was told to hand over the head of household position, no less! Anyone can see this is tyranny!』
—Oh. As expected of Perpena. Even from here, I could feel the knights trembling with anger at her passionate performance.
『Don't talk nonsense! You're just a maid! How dare you insult me?!』
『…Just a maid?! So that's how you've been looking at me.』
『You're the one who brought up my origins! Besides, are your eyes just knotholes?! How does that look like Roman in any way?! His behavior, his face, that thing—everything is different!』
『I told you I taught him well! His speech and behavior are the result of correction! As for his genitals, it's a curse! What exactly is strange about that?!』
『Then what about that yin energy?! Anyone can see it's the work of an evil god!』
『An evil god? Aren't you believing too much in old fairy tales?! Gods disappeared from this land ages ago! Didn't all five great nations publicly announce that gods have vanished from this world?!』
『I can't believe this! No, wait…! It's possible you seduced that unknown man to try and take over the family yourself!』
『You're projecting your own intentions onto others?!』
『Anyway, if we torture him, he'll confess the truth. I'll call in a professional first thing tomorrow. If he doesn't confess by then, I'll steel my heart and…』
『Torture Lord Roman?! That's unacceptable!』
『This conversation is over! Now that I know words won't work, I won't hold back any means!』
After those words, the sound of the neighboring cell door slamming shut echoed. Nigilia glanced once at my cell as she passed, then spoke in a low voice.
"Keep a close watch on this suspicious man and Perpena. They're criminals who tried to overthrow the family. Also, make sure today's conversation doesn't leak outside."
"""………"""
The knights didn't answer, but Nigilia left with angry footsteps. Soon after, anxious voices could be heard.
"What do we do now… The two of them have completely split…"
"Lady Nigilia really sounded like she was making a mistake…"
"Lady Perpena said she educated him well… and Lady Nigilia was the one nitpicking…"
"Well, if someone claimed memory loss in that state, even we would be suspicious, but…"
"Yeah, it's suspicious."
"If he really is Lord Roman, this is a huge mistake…"
Was this the branching point? I rattled my chains again and spoke to them.
"The memory loss is real. They said I suffered a great shock when I was attacked by Princess Servilia back then."
"…Do you have any evidence besides Lady Perpena's word?"
"There's the family physician."
"Why the physician all of a sudden?"
"You weren't at the mansion at the time. On the day I returned home, I had my body examined by the family's hired physician. So he's also one of the people who can prove I have memory loss."
"…That makes two witnesses."
"Th-Then…"
"That thing… attached to your crotch…?"
"As for my genitals, I think I really was cursed. I must have been quite the unpleasant person before losing my memories, so Princess Servilia must have hated me just as much. Thinking about it that way, it's not that strange a story, is it?"
"""That part makes sense."""
Why did they all agree so readily on that point? The dead Roman really was trash. Not that I had any right to say that.
'As expected of Perpena. Just a few shouts and the knights are already wavering. She must have known this would happen. From the looks of it, not only will there be no torture, the confinement won't last long either.'
Thanks to that, talking nonsense was actually enjoyable. It felt like playing Mafia with friends—I was amused by how they were completely taken in by my words without even knowing whose side I was really on.
"Wait, then we've been speaking informally this whole time…"
"Ugh…"
"Wouldn't it actually be safer not to release him?"
"If he's really Lord Roman, he'd definitely seek revenge."
Correction. Even while thinking I might be real, these idiots turned their backs on me.
"For now, I'll head back to the mansion, talk to the physician, and come back. W-Well, you never know, right? He might really, really be Lord Roman… While I'm at it, I'll spread what we just talked about to the other servants too…"
One of them left the basement, probably to cover her own back. The servants had probably noticed the commotion by now.
『How does it feel? Playing with fools in the palm of your hand?』
Also, as if reading my mind, Perpena's telepathic message reached my ears. Apparently, it didn't reach the other cell.
'Nigilia is pitiful. The knights looked worried, but the moment you planted the suspicion that she might be trying to take over the family, they completely fell for it.'
『Of course. Everything Nigilia has done so far has been credited to me. In reality, there were very few things that woman could do alone, and even when she was at the academy, she came to me for work. It's not like there are only one or two people who know my efforts, and Nigilia just looks incompetent by comparison.』
'Their only arguments are the yin energy coming from my cock and my behavior. Since we've already secured the physician for the memory loss story, the conversation won't fall apart either. This is the first time I've been this relaxed while locked in a cell.'
『Enjoy it. You won't have this kind of experience often~♪』
'Yes.'
Perpena sent one last message: "At least this will be over before evening," before cutting off the telepathy.
'One side is Nigilia, who is sincere to the family but incompetent and lacks leadership. The other is me, who has a bad reputation but can properly establish the family with legitimacy. I wonder which side the servants will choose.'
It felt like about a day had passed since I'd been locked up when the mansion above became noisy. Soon after, the sound of the basement door being kicked open echoed, and the knights took defensive stances before lowering their spears again.
The answer had been decided.
"Lord Roman."
"We've come to escort you."
The mansion's servants, led by the cook. Behind them was a sow with her mouth gagged. As expected, Nigilia had not been chosen.