Clinging Desperately to My Sanity in a World Beyond the Laws of the Universe
Having broken free from the laws of the universe, I desperately clung to my sanity. Let’s take this one step at a time.
She had told me she had been alone the entire time. Yet out of nowhere she claimed that she hadn’t prayed to a god, but to a dragon, and that the dimensional rift had opened because of it? What on earth was she saying? Had I let my mind wander and missed part of the explanation? Or was it some kind of metaphorical expression, like the figurative language ancient humans used when recording their scriptures? Even so, a dragon of all things. Dragons were a notoriously self-centered race. And yet she was saying such a dragon had answered prayers, granted wishes, and even opened rifts between dimensions? I suppose I was this shocked because I had never had any dealings with dragons. If the seniors who collaborated with them heard this, they would probably clutch the backs of their necks and fume about what kind of nonsense it was.
“I’m the team leader! Those rude reptile bastards who never listen to a word I say and just do whatever the hell they want!”
Even last week, the usually gentle Heath had chugged canned beer while pouring out his resentment. I had been listening to my senior’s grievances over the phone today as well. He had been perfectly normal when I offered to bring chicken and beer, so how had it come to this? I sighed as I stared down at my smartphone that refused to turn on.
“…A-are you okay?”
“Ah….”
The Saint was gazing up at me with a worried face, gently clutching the hem of my clothes. I forced a smile and nodded.
“I’m sorry. I was lost in thought for a moment. Um, is the term ‘dragon’ a metaphorical expression?”
“No, it’s a real dragon.”
“……I see?”
What was going on? Was it an impostor pretending to be a dragon? …No, only an actual dragon could open a dimensional rift, so it probably wasn’t an impostor.
“Um, how did that dragon….”
I started to ask how it had appeared but stopped myself. After all, I too had suddenly appeared in this world. Since she said the dragon had opened the dimensional rift, that meant the dragon had arrived in this world before the rift was created.
‘So that dragon didn’t cross over from a dimensional rift like I did.’
In that case, the most reliable option might be to ask a dragon who had gone through a similar experience directly.
“No—where can I go to see it?”
“…Ah.”
Sadness pooled in the Saint’s eyes. After moving her lips for a moment, she lowered her head.
“…You can’t see her.”
“Pardon?”
“…I want to see her too, but I can’t anymore.”
Her voice trembled. The increasingly faint sound was filled with an indescribable longing.
‘…Did it vanish?’
Dimensional rifts form when dimensions twist. Forcibly creating one requires an unimaginably vast amount of power. The dragon that had granted the Saint’s request had probably succeeded in opening the rift but burned away every last ounce of its own strength.
‘I messed up.’
I covered my mouth with one hand. It seemed my carelessly tossed question had dug up the Saint’s painful memories.
“…I’m sorry. I asked something I shouldn’t have.”
“N-no. …It’s okay. That sister was a truly beautiful dragon. Her scales… they really shone.”
The Saint spread her palm and stared at it as she murmured softly.
“…They were sky-blue with a golden shimmer. A color that felt cold yet warm.”
Her gaze drifted away from her palm, traveling far into the distance. As if the dragon’s traces still lingered there.
I nodded quietly.
“I see.”
“Yes. Next time I’ll show you the scale I received from her…”
In the end, tears cascaded from the Saint’s eyes like a waterfall. Each droplet made her slender shoulders tremble. Watching her cry bitterly like a child, I panicked, completely at a loss. I reached out, then stopped. Gathering my courage, I carefully wiped the tears from her face.
“…You’ve been through so much.”
“Hwaaaaaaaaaaaaaang!”
It was a single phrase I had agonized over before uttering, yet it backfired completely. The Saint’s sobs grew even fiercer. Her shoulders heaved as her bitter weeping swelled into a great wail that seemed to pierce the heavens.
I froze, staring at her. I knew I had to comfort her somehow, but I had no idea what to do. My hands simply flailed uselessly in the air as if something inside me had broken.
‘…What now?’
At that moment, my unconsciously outstretched hand brushed her shoulder.
“Ah!”
I flinched and tried to pull back, but the motion ended up drawing her closer instead. The Saint looked up at me with tear-filled eyes. That gaze made my head feel even more broken. I hurriedly tried to step away.
“U-um, I’m sorry…”
“…Huu.”
But the Saint only leaned into me more. Her thin, trembling cries gradually began to subside. She rubbed her head against me and whispered to herself.
“…It’s warm.”
The small murmur against my ear made me hold my breath. For some reason that single phrase pierced deep inside me with a bittersweet ache.
‘At least I seem to have calmed her down. That’s something.’
I stood there stiffly like an oversized doll before carefully patting her back.
“…Are you feeling a little better now?”
When I spoke hesitantly, the Saint lifted her head. Even in the darkness, her tear-streaked face shone vividly.
“…Yes. I’m better now.”
Though her voice was soft, it carried a calmness completely different from moments before. Only then did I release a sigh of relief.
‘Still… it would be rude to ask anything more. What should I do now?’
Should I wander this world in search of clues? Or should I look for a way to leave for another realm?
“It’s all right. If you have questions, you can keep asking.”
“…Pardon?”
Startled by the Saint’s sudden words, I stepped back. I definitely hadn’t spoken aloud—how had she known what I was thinking? Come to think of it, she had realized I was a grim reaper the moment she saw me.
‘No way…’
I asked carefully, my voice trembling.
“…Um, Saint. By any chance, do you use something like mind reading?”
“Hm? …No. You’ve been fidgeting the whole time while looking at me.”
…Ah. So I was the cause. I covered my face with one hand. What kind of nuisance was this?
“Was I that obvious?”
“Yes. You were showing it so plainly that it worried me.”
Her decisive tone left me speechless for a moment. I felt the urge to make excuses, but there was no room for rebuttal.
‘…Let’s just quietly accept the chance she’s giving me.’
I looked at the Saint and spoke.
“…Then, may I ask you a few more things, Saint?”
“Yes. Ask me anything.”
The Saint smiled softly. Strangely, that serene expression calmed my heart.
What should I ask first? I began sorting through my jumbled thoughts.
‘…First, let’s think this through step by step.’
The Saint had said she had been alone in this world the entire time. This world was completely severed from all connections to other realms. The link to the Underworld itself had been cut. Yet any world containing living beings must be connected to the Underworld. That was a law dictated by the universe itself. Any being that violated the laws of the universe would be swallowed by chaos and vanish without a trace.
…Even the gods who managed worlds were not exempt.
‘Then why does this world that has broken that law still exist?’
I looked at the Saint and carefully opened my mouth.
“Um, Saint.”
“Yes?”
She lifted her head and met my eyes.
“How long have you been in this world?”
“How long…?”
She had mentioned living more than five hundred years, but that might not mean she had spent five hundred years in this particular world. That was exactly what I wanted to know.
‘Perhaps she stayed somewhere else before coming here? Maybe her time in this world hasn’t been that long.’
I watched her, waiting for an answer. The Saint slightly lowered her head and began fidgeting with her fingers.
“Umm… it’s been about five hundred years since I started counting my age, so… five hundred, six hundred… no, seven hundred?”
“…Excuse me?”
Why were the numbers only climbing? Watching her seriously furrow her brow and calculate made my head spin. It meant she wasn’t lying. Seven hundred years? Truly?
‘…This absurd world has persisted for over seven hundred years?’
It felt as though every piece of common sense I possessed as a god was being overturned. More than that, why didn’t she even know exactly how many years she had lived? I clutched my throbbing head and asked as calmly as possible.
“Why don’t you know precisely how many years have passed?”
“That’s…”
The Saint twisted a lock of hair around her finger, looking embarrassed.
“Before people arrived, the only ones here were beings like me who aren’t bound by time. Elves, machines, demons… So we never really kept track of time.”
“Th-that’s quite a variety. Are those individuals still in this world?”
“…Yes. …They’re all living here.”
“…I suppose they would be.”
Coming from the dimensional rift meant—whether by accident or design—that they had remained inside it all along. Once they had found a stable world, there was no reason to return to a place as dangerous as the rift. That was only natural.
‘…And that situation has lasted at least seven hundred years.’
Was this impossible world truly functioning as it should? The questions only multiplied. I hurriedly looked around my surroundings.