Why Are You Here? (2)
Girls in their adolescence, busy forming their identities, often take female idols from TV as their role models. For Moon Ga-young, that idol was Ruti.
Standing on stage, she shone like a star. Her hair sparkled under the lights, her gaze was fearless, and her dance moves unwavering—she seemed like no one from this world. Even though she was just a person on a screen, she strangely touched something deep inside. I want to be like that too. The more Ga-young projected herself onto her, the stronger her admiration grew.
So last month, she went to see a live performance in person. Seeing it with her own eyes was far more incredible than on screen. But there was one regrettable thing.
Too far away...
From her distant seat (Row F, Seat 24), she could barely make out Ruti on stage. Sure, there was a huge screen behind, but that didn't cut it. She wanted to see her face up close. For that, she'd need VIP seats—but tickets were impossible to snag, and the price was no joke.
...300,000 won!? Way too much for a 17-year-old girl from an ordinary family. She needed another way.
Then she stumbled on info about a fan meeting in a nearby college district. Tickets were 77,000 won. Not only could she see her face up close, but there'd be a short chat too. And best of all, a handwritten autograph. Perfect. She bought them without a second thought. From then on, she counted down the days until the fan meeting D-DAY.
Her heart pounding, she headed to the venue. It was bigger than expected, packed with people—all fans there for Ruti, just like her. She got in line, and soon the event kicked off.
Ga-young quietly waited her turn, rehearsing the lines she'd prepared. "I always watch your lives..." She'd come up with all sorts of things in advance. The fact that she'd practiced them late into the night, just in case she stuttered, was her little secret.
Before she knew it, her turn arrived. She took a few deep breaths and sat in the designated spot. Right in front of her...
"Nice to meet you."
Ruti—the one she'd only seen on screens—was right there. Her breath caught in her throat. She's even prettier in person. That's cheating! It wasn't just pretty; her face seemed to glow. Staring at it blanked her mind completely. All her prepared lines vanished.
"F-f-fan."
She stuttered. Her face burned at the thought of messing up in front of her favorite. The world spun. As she hung her head in embarrassment, Ruti spoke first.
"How old are you?"
"I'm..."
"Hold on. Let me guess."
She pondered for a moment, then flashed her signature bright, bubbly smile.
"Seventeen?"
"H-how'd you know?"
"You just look my age. Okay, now for your school?"
"How could you know my school...?"
"Hmm... Haneul Arts High School?"
"!?"
How on earth? Her eyes went wide, and Ruti pointed at the clothes she was wearing.
Oh, the uniform...
She must've spotted the school badge on the blazer. Ga-young had been so tense she'd forgotten what she had on.
"Feeling a bit more relaxed now?"
"Y-yes? Oh, yeah."
Her frozen body suddenly loosened up. Ruti must've done the guessing game on purpose to ease her nerves.
"I-I'll always cheer for you!"
Finally, she managed one of her prepared lines. She had so much more she wanted to say, but sadly, time was up. One minute per person. Time to stand.
As she rose reluctantly, Ruti said,
"Thanks for coming today."
And held out her small, pale palm. A high-five? Ga-young hesitated, then gently pressed her palm against it. Soft texture, warm body heat—it was overwhelming. She'd high-fived her favorite. That alone was enough.
As she started to pull away...
"Eh!?"
Ruti slyly intertwined their fingers. She initiated it.
"Come again next time."
Then a wink.
Thud. Her heart felt like it plummeted. Her barely calmed mind went blank again. When she snapped out of it, she was already outside the venue. Ga-young clutched the signed album tight and stared at her palm. It still felt like Ruti's warmth lingered.
"Gotta keep this hand unwashed today."
I signed autographs, smiled, signed more—repeating it for a solid four hours straight. No wonder when I woke up the next day, my body was wrecked.
"Aigoo, my poor body..."
My right wrist, from all the signing, had gone numb. Sitting in one spot so long made my butt ache. Worst was my facial muscles—they'd nearly cramped from smiling nonstop. Performances were tough, but fan meetings were no joke either. Like I'd said before, being an idol was an extreme job.
...Still, it was fun. The fans staring at me like I was a legendary Pokémon? Unforgettable. And the funniest reaction came from Ga-young. Who'd have thought the sharp, no-nonsense girl from school would act like that? She was so cute, I couldn't help but tease her a bit.
"Class president, why don't you give this problem a shot?"
"......"
"Class pres, what're you doing?"
"Huh? Oh, yeah..."
Ga-young was spacing out all through class today. She'd stare blankly at her palm, sniff it occasionally—kept doing these inexplicable things.
...Did she eat something weird?
I was a little worried, but I couldn't say anything. Right now, I was Kim Siyeon, not Ruti. Time to stick to my usual quiet loner vibe.
"Next period's PE, so everyone head out."
"Ah..."
I'd finally come to school after ages, and of course it was PE day. Personally, I hated PE. Too risky—moving around might knock my glasses off. So on PE days, I'd skip with some excuse or another.
Like,
"Teacher, it's that time of the month for me..."
It worked a hundred percent. Or it should have...
Thwack.
The (female) teacher lightly smacked my head with the attendance sheet.
"You used the same excuse to skip last week."
"Huh?"
Was that last week? Days blurred together with my packed schedule. Should've picked a different excuse. Too late now.
"...Sorry."
No choice—I headed to the gym for PE. All I could do was be extra careful. Luckily, today's class was dodgeball. Not bad. Easy way to sit out.
"Siyeon, out."
Just step on the line on purpose and get eliminated first. Most classmates, who barely noticed me anyway, didn't care.
"Hup."
I hunkered down in a corner of the gym. The others kept playing.
"Ga-young, out."
She got hit again while spacing out. What was she even thinking about? My eyes kept drifting her way. Then, by chance, our gazes met.
"What're you staring at?"
...Some mouth on her. Totally different from yesterday.
"Nah, you just seem off today."
"Not your business."
I scratched the back of my head awkwardly. Watching me, Ga-young tilted her head.
"Hey, why haven't you been at school all week?"
"Wasn't feeling great."
"Where?"
"...Kinda my heart?"
She shot me a look like I was ridiculous.
"You'll regret slacking on attendance like that. And..."
She started nagging out of nowhere. I let it go in one ear and out the other. My condition wasn't up for taking every word to heart.
As the pointless chit-chat dragged on...
"Hey! Watch out—!"
One of the boys yelled our way. I turned, and there it was—a white ball flying straight at me...
Smack.
It nailed me right in the face. Dodgeballs don't hurt much, but the impact sent my glasses flying.
"Hey, you okay—"
I slapped a hand over my face and bolted from the gym.
"What do I do..."
Hiding in the bathroom, I sat on the toilet and stared at the glasses in my palm. The dodgeball hit had snapped them clean in half. No spares on me. This was bad.
"Hmm."
As I pondered, footsteps entered the bathroom.
Knock knock.
"You okay? If you're hurt, go to the nurse. Why the bathroom?"
It was Ga-young's voice. I panicked so hard I hiccuped.
"Hic."
"Are you crying? Open the door—just a sec."