The Captain's Obsession
I spent the next two days practically melting into the bed. Time drifted in fragments between the smell of medicine and damp cloth. My condition showed no signs of improving.
Lifting my arm even slightly made my shoulder throb, and my knees ached just from bending and straightening. My back and waist were even worse. The price of dragging Grain through the underwater cave had been paid in full.
The brand on the back of my neck still burned. I didn't dare touch it, knowing it would only make the pain flare up again.
“Seriously…”
I sat on the edge of the bed, groaning as I tried to catch my breath. From outside came a steady metallic sound. Clang.
A short, heavy scrape. At first I thought someone was organizing equipment on the deck. But after listening to the consistent rhythm, I realized what it was. Training.
“...In the middle of all this?”
I braced my arms and forced myself upright. My legs still trembled. Still, lying down forever would only make my body stiffer. The door creaked as I opened it, revealing sailors sweating through drills in the center of the deck. And at the heart of it all stood Grain.
Her black uniform was as immaculate as ever, her hair neatly tied back without a single strand out of place.
It was hard to believe this was the same person who had burned with fever in that underwater cave just days ago, leaning weakly against my shoulder. Her sparring partner was the executive officer. He was a massive man who wouldn't yield easily to anyone. And yet—
Clang!
The moment their swords met, the executive officer's stance crumbled. In the next instant, his blade sliced uselessly through empty air while Grain's sword tip hovered motionless at his throat.
The deck fell silent. I didn't know much about swordsmanship, but even I could tell. He hadn't stood a chance.
The executive officer caught his breath for a moment before slowly lowering his sword.
“Your sword has changed, Captain.”
Grain looked at him.
“Has it.”
“It's more stable. Deeper.” The executive officer bowed his head slightly. “The impatience is gone. You've gained composure.”
Grain didn't answer.
The sailors watching from the sidelines didn't seem to find his words strange either. The atmosphere in the training area felt less sharp than before.
There were no shouts berating sailors for mistakes, only short commands to correct their form. It seemed everyone thought their captain had improved.
Then Grain's gaze turned toward me.
She stared for a moment before the corner of her mouth lifted in the faintest smile. She handed her sword to the executive officer and walked over.
“You're up.”
“Yes. Barely.”
Grain's deep gaze settled on the bandages wrapped around my arm, scratched raw in the cave. Then it moved carefully down to my scraped knee.
“Where does it hurt.”
“From the top of my head to the tips of my toes.”
“I see.”
With that, Grain stepped right beside me. Too close. Close enough that if I took a deep breath, our shoulders would brush. Even standing still, I could feel her body heat. I subtly shifted away. She followed with a single step.
“...Captain.”
“What.”
“Why are you standing so close?”
Grain looked down at me for a moment. Her expression suggested she genuinely didn't understand.
“Is that not allowed?”
“It's not... that it's not allowed.”
“Then it's fine.”
She stayed exactly where she was. I closed my mouth.
After that, Grain came to my room often. At first she said it was to check on my condition. Then she claimed she had something to say. But eventually she stopped offering excuses altogether. She would simply open the door naturally and sit right beside wherever I was.
Close. So close that if I moved even a little, our shoulders would touch.
And Grain would reach out as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Cool fingertips brushed my hair. Several silver strands wound gently between her fingers. She didn't brush them aside—she simply toyed with them slowly.
“...Captain.”
“What.”
“Why are you touching my hair?”
Grain stared intently at the strands.
“Because I like it.”
“...Excuse me?”
That was the end of her explanation. Without another word, she continued twirling my hair. I didn't know what to say, so I stayed silent.
It didn't stop there. In fact, it only grew worse. What began with touching my hair became staring directly into my eyes whenever she spoke. Later, if I looked away, she would casually take my hand and wait.
Grain saw nothing strange in any of it. Instead, she looked at me as if she couldn't understand why I was flustered.
Eventually I was the one who looked away first. Then Grain would close the distance again without hesitation.
By then, I was starting to feel a little wronged. So when her hand reached for my hair again, I silently lifted mine. Let's see how you like it.
My palm settled on top of her head. Grain didn't pull away. Instead, she naturally lowered her head to make it easier. My hand paused for a second. Black hair pressed against my palm. When I unconsciously stroked it once, her eyes slowly closed.
Her shoulders, always held so rigidly, relaxed just a fraction. It was such a small change. Yet that tiny shift made it strangely difficult to pull my hand away.
When I stopped, her eyelids lifted slightly.
“Continue.”
It was a short command. I was dumbfounded, but I'd already missed my chance to withdraw. In the end, I had to stroke Grain's hair for quite a while. She said nothing the entire time, simply sitting with her eyes closed.
When I tried to stop, her gaze followed immediately. So I ended up petting her a little longer. Grain remained silent, eyes closed, perfectly still.
Even after that, Grain didn't change much. She remained impeccably proper in front of the sailors, but with me she stayed unnervingly close.
And then, a few days later, the deck grew busy from early morning. Word came that the supply team needed to restock provisions at the docks.
After days of only moving between my room and the deck, I felt more restless inside than my body did. I wanted some fresh air. More than that, I wanted to at least send word to the tavern master, who must be worried.
Of course, I had no intention of going all the way to the tavern. The sailors still didn't fully trust those people. But if I slipped over to the supply depot or the market alley where the master often went for ingredients, maybe I could pass along a quiet message?
“Can I go with them?”
The sailors checking the list turned to look at me. The men exchanged awkward glances at each other's rough faces but didn't dare answer. Soon the duty officer came up to the deck. He looked between me and my bandaged arm before speaking briefly.
“The captain mentioned it before. If you feel stifled, going out with sailor escort is fine.”
Grain had said that?
“Alright. But you must not leave the supply team's side at all.”
“Understood.”
“And don't get hurt.”
“...That's not exactly something I can choose.”
The officer's eyebrows rose slightly. I quickly shut my mouth. A few sailors carrying crates nearby chuckled softly. The mood felt light and peaceful, like a casual outing.
At the time, everyone thought it was no big deal.
When the meeting ended, several reports rested in Grain's hands. A ship believed to belong to Tasha. An unfamiliar smuggling vessel that had entered the southern port.
Grain issued only the necessary orders in short bursts.
“Increase surveillance at the southern port. Do not touch the smuggling ship immediately. First identify everyone who makes contact with it.”
“Understood.”
The moment the last officer saluted and left the room, Grain headed straight for Ria's cabin. She knocked briefly at the door. No answer.
Was she asleep?
Grain waited a moment before opening the door. The bed was empty. The blanket was pushed halfway back, the pillow neatly in place. Grain froze in the doorway, unable to take a single step inside.
Ria was gone.
“...Where is Ria.”
A sailor in the corridor turned his head.
“I haven't seen her.”
Grain's gaze returned to the empty bed. Then footsteps approached. It was the duty officer.
“Captain.”
Grain's head turned.
“Where is Ria.”
The duty officer snapped to attention.
“She went to the dock supply depot with the supply team.”
Grain's eyes darkened.
“Who gave permission.”
“I did.” The officer's answer was steady. “I followed the instructions you personally issued a few days ago.”
Grain said nothing. She remembered. It must have been shortly after Ria arrived. Ria was a protected person, not a prisoner. There was no reason to keep her confined to her room.
So she had simply given orders that if Ria felt stifled or wished to go out, she could do so with sailor escort. With sailors at her side, nothing should go wrong.
At the time, it had seemed like a trivial order. The officer's report was flawless.
Grain looked at the empty bed once more. Yet the tension in her fingertips refused to ease.
Then urgent footsteps sounded from the deck. Another sailor appeared at the end of the corridor.
“Captain.”
Grain's gaze shifted.
“The supply team has returned.”
It was a short report. But the sailor delivering it couldn't lift his head. Grain studied his face. Even after finishing, the sailor's lips moved once more.
“What is it.”
“Well, that is...”
Grain didn't wait to hear more. She strode forward immediately, crossing the deck and descending toward the unloading area. Wooden crates sat on the ground. Several sailors were organizing the returned supplies. But amid them came the sound of someone calling for the medic.
Grain's steps halted the moment she saw the small figure with silver hair sitting among them.
Ria was there. Seated on a chair. The left sleeve of her worn nun's habit was soaked bright red. Crimson blood ran down her arm and gathered at her fingertips. Ria pressed her bleeding arm with her other hand and smiled awkwardly.
“Ah, Captain.”
Grain didn't answer. Ria tried to wave but stopped.
“I'm fine. I just had some bad luck and got grazed...”
Blood-stained hand. Soaked sleeve. Lips trying to smile. Blood-soaked hand. Edel collapsing to the floor. And Tasha, who had turned away without looking back.
Grain's breath caught a beat late, as if someone had seized her by the throat.
“Captain?”
Ria's voice came again. Only then did Grain take a step closer. The medic was urgently examining the wound.
“It's not deep. Just a scratch from debris. It looks worse than it is because of the bleeding.”
The medic was accurate. Ria nodded as well.
“That's what he said. I'm really fine.”
Grain was only looking at Ria's arm.
“There was a small disturbance at the docks,” one of the supply sailors said in a stiff voice. “Two pirates got into a fight and there were gunshots. We immediately pulled Ria back. The bullets missed. But a nearby crate shattered and...”
His voice trailed off. Grain didn't look in that direction. The medic finished disinfecting and reached for a bandage. Before he could, Grain's hand moved.
“I'll do it.”
The medic's hand stopped. No one tried to intervene. Grain crouched in front of Ria. With trembling hands, she began wrapping the bandage over the wound. One loop. Then another. Ria remained still, letting her arm be tended.
“Captain. It really doesn't hurt.”
Grain didn't answer. Layer after layer of bandage covered the wound. Once the blood was hidden, Ria seemed slightly relieved. But even after tying the final knot, Grain didn't withdraw her hand. The tip of her gloved thumb lingered on the bandage for a long time.
Grain's face was a mess. Her usually cold and disciplined eyes remained fixed on Ria's arm without moving. Her lips were pressed together but had gone deathly pale, and her jaw was clenched with unnatural force.
Ria opened her mouth to make a joke and lighten the mood, then stopped. The wound was on Ria's arm, yet the one who looked in more pain was Grain.
That night, the medicine made my eyelids heavy. I woke several times only to fall asleep again. The room was dark. When I first opened my eyes, I couldn't see anything. Then I noticed a thin sliver of light leaking from the door. It was open. Just a crack—barely wide enough for a finger. Corridor light spilled in like a long ribbon.
Still half-asleep, I looked that way. Between the gap, a single eye was visible. Black eyes.
I swallowed. My body froze first. Then I recognized her. It was Grain.
I let out the breath I'd been holding, very slowly. She must have come because she was worried. After all, I had bled quite a bit. Thinking that, my startled heart calmed a little. I closed my eyes again. The medicine quickly pulled me under.
I don't know how much time passed. When I opened my eyes again, the room was even darker. And the door was still open. Just a crack. The same corridor light was still leaking through the same gap.
I stared blankly in that direction. Between the gap, the black eyes were still there. Same height. Same position. Same direction.
I couldn't blink. Grain didn't come in. She didn't open the door wider. She didn't speak. She simply watched me through that crack. Just like before.
I slowly pulled the blanket up. If I closed my eyes, it would be fine. If I pretended not to see, I could fall asleep again. But even behind my closed eyelids, the light from the door crack remained. And the black eyes embedded within it.
After that, Grain changed a little more. In front of the sailors she remained composed. Her commands were short, her decisions swift. To anyone looking, Grain seemed more stable than before. But it was different when I was around.
On the deck. At the end of the corridor. In front of the infirmary door. Grain's gaze followed me often. The moments when I was alone were slowly, very slowly disappearing.
It was the same that day. I stood with my arms on the deck railing, looking out at the sea. When I turned my head, Grain was reading a report. Not far away. When I lifted my hand from the railing, her eyes rose briefly from the paper before dropping again. As if she hadn't been watching.
I looked back at the sea for no particular reason. The docks were crowded. Sailors carrying crates. Crewmen with wet ropes over their shoulders. Porters weaving between them. Through the gaps, a figure in a cloak passed by.
At first I thought it was just another passerby. But when the wind blew once, black hair spilled from beneath the cloak. For a moment, it seemed black eyes brushed this way. Relaxed steps. A slightly turned head. A grin lifting the corner of the mouth.
Captain Tasha?
The moment the thought formed, the cloak vanished among the crowd. I tried to look again but couldn't find it. Had I seen wrong? I was about to dismiss it when—
“Captain!”
A sailor came running up from below deck. Grain's hand froze over the report.
“Report.”
“We've finally confirmed Tasha's contact location.”
At those words, the noise on deck froze over in an instant.
“Exact location.”
“A secluded spot in the western reef area. The captured smuggler confessed. There are also corroborating witness statements that they saw Captain Tasha at sunset today.”
The report was concise and perfect. But the timing was too precise, too perfectly aligned. The image of black hair leisurely disappearing into the dock crowd flashed through my mind again.
“We'll prepare to set sail,” the executive officer moved first.
Grain didn't answer. The hand holding the report remained frozen. I finally spoke.
“Captain.”
Her eyes turned to me.
“What is it.”
“Isn't this... a little strange?”
Grain didn't answer immediately.
“Someone who's been so hard to find until now. Suddenly we have the exact contact location, time, and multiple witness statements all at once. Doesn't that seem odd?”
My words came out jumbled and disorganized.
“And actually, I think I just saw someone who looked like Captain Tasha.”
The executive officer's eyebrows moved.
“I'm not certain. It was far away, there were many people, and they disappeared quickly.” I clenched my fists. “But the person I thought I saw nearby just now suddenly has a contact point in the western reefs... it feels a bit strange.”
“Captain.” The executive officer stepped closer. “There's not much time left until the contact hour.”
The sound of ropes being released came from below deck. Sailors exchanged orders in low voices. Grain didn't move. The eyes that had been scanning the report were now fixed on me.
“I don't know if I saw correctly either.” My throat was dry. “Still...” I swallowed once. “This time... can't you trust me?”
Grain's fingertips stiffened. The fingers resting on her sword sheath slowly curled inward. No answer came. One beat. Two beats. The shouts of sailors preparing to depart rang out again.
“Captain. We must leave now.”
Grain's lips parted slightly. But no words came.
“We'll miss them at this rate.”
Her fingertips left the sheath. Rose again. Stopped once more.
“Captain.” The executive officer's voice lowered. “Will you let them slip away again?”
The moment those words fell, all color drained from Grain's face. Her lips parted again. The words still didn't come immediately. After a long pause, she finally spoke.
“Tasha is...”
The sentence broke there. Grain's gaze briefly dropped to my arm. To the bandaged arm. The eyes that stopped there rose back to my face.
“The enemy who killed my family.”
The sounds on deck grew distant.
“Who killed my sister.” Grain's voice dropped even lower. “And ran away.”
I couldn't speak. I should have told her not to go. That it still seemed strange. That we should check a little more. That the cloak I'd seen bothered me. But my mouth wouldn't open. She had said it was someone who killed her family. Someone who killed her sister and fled. After hearing that, I couldn't easily tell her to stop.
“Captain. We're running late.”
Grain looked at me. Looked at my bandaged arm. Looked at the report. Looked at the sea chart in the executive officer's hand. Then looked at my arm again.
In the end, Grain took one step back.
“Wait just a little.”
I couldn't answer. Grain forced the words out with difficulty.
“I'll be back soon.”
“Captain.” When I called again, she stopped. Her back was turned. “Do you... really have to go?”
Departure preparations on deck were nearly complete. From among them, Grain spoke.
“I must.”
The words broke off briefly.
“For you to be safe.”
Grain said nothing more. She immediately began walking. The executive officer followed. The sailors moved. Grain didn't look back. I stood there, watching the receding back of that black uniform.
Captain Tasha. Was she really that kind of person?
I hadn't thought of her only negatively. She was annoying, sly, and her eyes would light up at the smell of money, but still—like the master, like the people of Pirate Island—I had thought she was someone who had strangely survived in a harsh place.
If what Grain said was true. Someone who killed her family. Who killed her sister and ran away. Had I taken her too lightly? Was she really that kind of person?
The wind blew. I recalled the cloak I'd seen at the docks moments ago. The back view disappearing among people with black hair and black eyes. It wasn't certain. Nothing was certain. Yet strangely, that image kept lingering before my eyes.
The pursuit boat carrying Grain was moving away from the docks. The wind blew again. I looked down at my bandaged arm for no reason.
“...How soon is 'soon,' exactly.”
I muttered softly, but there was no one to answer. In the end, I returned to my room. Two sailors stood in front of the door. The ones Grain had left behind. The room was quiet. So quiet that the footsteps on deck and the noise from the docks sounded even farther away. I sat on the edge of the bed.
How much time had passed? The area outside the door grew slightly noisy. At first I thought the sailors were changing shifts. Low voices. Short, clipped footsteps. Something being dragged across the floor. I lifted my head.
“Is something wrong?”
No answer came. Instead, from beyond the door, someone cursed lowly. Then—
Bang!
The door burst open as if it would shatter. I reflexively jerked backward. A person stood in the open doorway. A wet black cloak. Black hair spilling to one side. A far-too-familiar grin at the corner of the mouth.
“...Huh?”
Before I could even form proper words, Captain Tasha raised a hand.
“I've come to rescue you, little nun.”
“What?”
I asked blankly. Rescue? Who? Me?
“Wait, no, I—”
“Shh.” Captain Tasha held a finger to her lips. At that moment, shouts erupted from the corridor behind her.
“Intruder!”
“Secure Ria!”
The sound of sailors' footsteps rushed closer. Captain Tasha glanced outside the door and clicked her tongue.
“Can't go out this way.”
“No, what are you—”
“Other side.”
Captain Tasha grabbed my arm. I reflexively tried to resist.
“Wait! I don't—”
“Keep your mouth shut.”
Captain Tasha pulled me firmly into her arms.
“You'll bite your tongue.”
“What?”
There was no time to answer. Captain Tasha ran toward the inner wall of the room. Or rather, toward the thin panel that looked like a wall. Her foot kicked the panel.
Crack!
Wood shattered and sea wind rushed in all at once. My eyes widened. It was outside. Below was the dizzyingly steep hull side and black water.
“Wait, if we jump from here—”
Captain Tasha didn't listen. Her arms tightened more firmly around my waist and shoulders.
“Hold your breath.”
Before the words even finished, our bodies fell through empty air. Wind slapped my face. Up and down flipped. A scream rose in my throat but Captain Tasha's cloak covered my mouth.
Suddenly something pulled taut. It was a rope. Captain Tasha was holding a thick line hanging from the ship's side with one hand. The rope made a terrible sound as it slid. It smelled like burning palms.
Bang!
The ground shook. We fell onto the small boat attached below. More precisely, Captain Tasha fell first and I landed almost on top of her. Still, the impact was huge. My mind went white. Black spots burst before my eyes.
“Ugh...”
Captain Tasha got up immediately.
“We're alive.”
“You... right now...”
“Didn't bite your tongue, did you?” She grabbed my chin and examined my face from every angle. “Pupils look fine. Your complexion is... wasn't it always this pale?”
“Captain, wait—”
“Physical condition.”
Captain Tasha's gaze fixed on my bandages. White cloth wrapped every scratched and broken place. The smile vanished from her face.
“What is this.”
“No, this is just—”
“Those damn bastards.”
Captain Tasha grabbed my arm, then immediately loosened her fingers as if afraid it would hurt. Then she quickly checked my shoulder, wrist, collar, and hair.
“I heard from the master. That you were captured by the Black Anchor and dragged away.”
“That's—”
“You've been through a lot.”
“No, that's not—”
“It's okay. I'm here now.”
“It's not that I'm not okay!”
“You've lost weight...” Captain Tasha stared at my face. Then she tilted her head. “Or not. Looks like they fed you properly.”
“Please listen to me—”
“Good. Then that's fortunate.”
It wasn't fortunate at all. Captain Tasha seemed to be listening to me while hearing nothing at all. The pirates on the small boat moved busily. Wet canvas was unfurled, the lowered sail rose. Someone untied the ropes, and the boat began slipping out from the ship's shadow.
“Right, shall we go.”
Captain Tasha smiled. Only then did my mind clear a little. I was about to say we couldn't leave when a roar like something exploding came from far away.
“TASHA—!!”
It sounded like the calm sea itself was splitting apart with rage. I reflexively turned my head. At the docks. Grain was standing there. I don't know when she had returned. Her black uniform whipped violently in the wind. Her face was too distant and dark to see clearly. Yet I could tell. Grain's two eyes were glaring at Tasha.
Captain Tasha looked that way and gave a small snort.
“It's been a while.”
It was a light remark. Before it even finished, Grain's hand moved. A spear one of the sailors was holding flew into her grasp. Grain's arm, filled with rage, drew back taut like a bowstring. In the next instant, the spear flew.
The metallic sound of air being brutally torn reached my ears a beat after the spear had already launched. A point of light like a ray slicing through the sky grew huge in an instant.
The smile vanished from Captain Tasha's usually playful and relaxed face. It was an expression I'd never seen before. She pulled me deeper into her arm and drew the sword at her waist with the other hand.
Kwaaaaang—!!
Spear and sword collided. The small boat tilted sharply to one side. I nearly bounced out of Captain Tasha's arms. Her foot stamped hard into the deck. The sound of splintering wood rang out. The spear glanced off and plunged into the sea. A pillar of water shot up.
Captain Tasha let out a short breath.
“Khh...”
It sounded like both a laugh and a groan. Her eyes cooled for just a moment.
“You've gotten stronger.”
Her voice was different from before. There wasn't a trace of playfulness in it.
“But you're still far from enough, kid.”
Grain didn't answer. Instead she grabbed another spear. Faster this time. More accurately. Aimed at Captain Tasha's heart, her arm drew back once more.
In that moment, our eyes met. Me, held in Captain Tasha's arms. Grain's eyes met mine. The spear tip stopped. Her arm froze in midair as if by magic. I could see the strength leaving her fingers.
Even though she was so far away, somehow I saw it clearly. The spear shaft slipped weakly from her hand and tilted downward. All color drained from Grain's face. Her lips parted but no words came out.
The person who had just been pouring hatred toward Tasha, ready to pierce her heart with a spear, couldn't take a single step from that spot.
Captain Tasha blinked at the sight.
“...What?”
She looked like she had no idea why. But soon the corner of her mouth lifted.
“I don't know what it is, but this is the moment.”
“Wait, Captain!”
“Mouth.”
Captain Tasha's hand covered my mouth.
“I told you you'd bite your tongue.”
“Mmph—!”
The small boat turned sharply. The sail swelled full, gorged on wind. The recoil pushed my body backward. Held in Captain Tasha's arms, I couldn't even breathe properly.
From far away, Grain's scream-like cry erupted again. I couldn't hear what she said. The sound of waves. The sound of the sail swelling as if it would tear. The sound of Captain Tasha's cloak flapping against my face. All of it rushed over me at once.
I tried desperately to push Captain Tasha's hand away. No. It's not like that. I wasn't tortured. I wasn't captured. Grain wasn't trying to hurt me. Please. Please just listen to me!